


'' I am a Riddle,'' | Draco Malfoy,

by Juneekarl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Mature Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:55:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 42
Words: 123,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29336412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juneekarl/pseuds/Juneekarl
Summary: |  " Always such a good girl for me, aren't you?" Draco groaned into my parted lips, earring a moan from me as he forced himself deeper, rougher by the feeling of my body trembling in his grip," Such a good girl," |" It seemed so perfect, but ended so soon."____________________A Draco Malfoy love story.Trigger warning,This book contains mature content. Such as smut, violent actions, abuse, signs of sexual abuse, foul language, and character death. 18+ only.I do own June and the plots created by me.But other than that, I do not own any characters or events in this story. All credit goes to J.K Rowling,
Relationships: Adrian Pucey & Original Female Character(s), Cedric Diggory & Original Female Character(s), Draco Malfoy & Original Female Character(s), Hermione Granger/Luna Lovegood
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	1. W e l c o m e,

  
T R I G G E R W A R N I N G,

This fanfic contains mature content such as smut, violent actions, sexual assault, suicide attempts, psychological trauma, and character death. These topics may be triggering to some readers. Please read with caution.

This story is a Draco Malfoy love story with a twist of the Harry Potter series.

This is played out in their 6th - 7th year.

I'm so happy you're here, and I truly hope that you'll enjoy this story.

**(And no. My name isn't June, and I don't base the main character off myself.)**

**Much love, Juneekarl.**   
  


**Cast,**

**June Riddle Ravenclaw,** played by - Madelyn Cline.

  
**Draco Malfoy,** played by - Tom Felton.

  
**Luna Lovegood,** played by - Evanna Lynch.

  
**Hermione Granger,** played by - Emma Watson.

  
**Blaise Zabini,** played by - Louis Cordice,

  
**Cedric Diggory,** played by - Robert Pattinson,

  
**Narcissa & Lucius Malfoy, **played by Helen McCrory & Jason Isaacs,

  
**Voldemort,** played by - Ralph Fiennes.

  
_I do_ _own June and the plots created by me, but other than that, I do_ _not own any characters or events passing in this story, except for June. All credits for the events and characters go to J.K Rowling,_ _(_ _aka dobb_ _y ofc!!)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I want to address something that I often see in my comments, and that is that I often receive comments saying, '' Omg is this from possessive,'' or '' Mattheo Riddle, is this you?'' AND I DO NOT MIND THOSE TYPES OF COMMENTS. Usually, I find them really funny.
> 
> BUT, often, these comments turn into so much more, and I am daily being accused of stealing ideas, sentences, and words from Yasmine, and that's so annoying. I have to delete so many comments about this every day, and it's starting to get on my nerves.
> 
> So I will speak about this one more time to make it perfectly clear for everyone what this is about.
> 
> No. I do not '' steal'' anything from Yasmine or her book. Still, I do write for her when she wants me to, and that means that certain parts you read in possessive can sound similar to what you later read in my books, or that I sometimes use paragraphs and ideas I have already written in my books, and transform it into hers.
> 
> Yasmine and I are best friends, and I love writing for her, so please stop making things up and cause problems when there really aren't any.
> 
> Thank you. <3


	2. W e l c o m e,

" Hurry up. We don't have all day." She mocked me as I forced myself out of the shower - feeling the panic of being late, rushing through my vessels,

I shot her an annoyed glare, trying to straighten my skirt over my damp skin - she always does this, " Why didn't you wake me up, Luna?"

Her head peaks out the door, with a grin gently plastered on her lips, " You seemed so calm when you laid there, sleeping. Did you dream something?" Her soft voice tore through the steaming bathroom as she tucked a blond lock behind her ear - sending me the most innocent of looks, " Tell me what you dreamed about,"

I stared at her with big centers, annoyed with the fact that she didn't wake me up in time, but still my face softened at her words - What did I ever do to deserve her?

"I didn't dream anything - what is up with you and all these dreams you're always on about? - and please, next time, wake me up - I would rather be on time," I hushed down, pushing myself past her as she stood smirking in the doorway - a path of goosebumps trailed my skin feeling my heated flesh collided with the icy air,

Her eyes searched mine as she huffed, craving my attention, " What?" I hissed, raising a brow,

" You and your manners, June - it always comes back to that bloody manners of yours, doesn't it?" - a smile curled onto her lips as she walked over, nudging me to the side, " Doesn't it?"

I picked my bag up, turning to face my best friend once again, seeing how her profile lit up in a mixture of irritation and compassion, " Come on, grumpy - we have class,"

___________________________

I felt that sinking feeling chewing my bones as we rushed through the empty hallways, not a student in sight as we were running late, " Snape is going to kill me," I puffed below my breath,

Luna peered wide-eyed at me as we reached the classroom, both of us out of breath, " Ready?" She mumbled - a forced smile grew onto her edges,

I sent her a slight nod, the hesitation and fright of being late washed over me as she swung the door open. Both of us stumbled into our first class - of our sixth year, here at Hogwarts,

My heart slightly pounding as I met the startled looks of the students turning their heads at our late entrance - great, fucking great,

I cringed by the heat of her hand as she sought to find mine, braiding our fingers together - she dragged me to the far back of the class - away from all the gawking eyes, " That's better," She smiled, her dimples lightly showing as she rolled her eyes at the nosey students,

I let out a chuckle at her words, shrugging my shoulders, " You're the one to talk - don't you always-,"

" Late on our first day back, are we miss Ravenclaw?" The stern voice seethed over student's heads. My eyes snapped up in a blink of an eye, meeting professor Snape's furious stare as he sped towards our desks, slamming his palms into the worn wood. I found myself gulping - not a word could escape my parted lips,

He leaned back as he rose a brow, brushing some of his greasy, black hair off his stone-cold features, " Detention, miss Ravenclaw." He charged, eyes still narrowed in mine, before he quickly poured around, marching his way back to his desk, leaving me shocked, my neck clocked to Luna's,

" And make sure not to be late this time." He muttered, causing students to snicker around the classroom as my cheeks flushed red in embarrassment, " Great," I rolled my eyes, staring down at the books in front of me, sucking my lip in between my teeth as Luna shoved me to the side, " You see, it's not very appropriate to be late for class, miss Ravenclaw,"

I shook my head at her, a chuckle left my lips, "Next time, Lovegood, next time,"

___________________

" Missed me?" Hermione greeted as she seated herself across the table, and I could practically hear Luna's breaths hook as her eyes roamed over the brown-haired girl joining us. I rolled my eyes at her, shoving her to the side as I reached over the table, grasping Hermione's hand in mine, " I haven't been away long enough from either of you, to-,"

" Stop it,"

My best friend caught her neck to mine, eyeing me down with a scowl, sending me a death glare. I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying not to laugh at her grimace, '' What did I do this time, darling?'' I smiled, seeing how her eyes fluttered to Hermione's - the two of them has been lurking around all summer in thought that I wouldn't find out - it truly is adorable,

Luna slightly rolled her sights at me as she looked down to her plate, and just like every other year, the chatter around the table consisted of stories and tells about the past summer, everyone mumbling into each other's words, seeking to get their voice and story heard,

I found myself deeply in my thoughts - thinking about my mother and what she told me before I left for school - how my father was deemed to return, and that was all my summer consisted of - being home, worrying about the future,

" What's wrong with you?" Hermione urged as I clocked back to being - I sensed my features twist in pure snarling at her words, her eyes moved down my figure, '' Why are you sitting, like that?''

I looked down at my arms, lounging on the table as a frown spread onto my temples, '' What?''

Hermione's whole front turned into an amused smirk as a trace of soft giggles left her lips, '' I'm messing with you, silly.'' She grinned, revealing her perfect teeth, '' How was your first day back?'' Her eyes shot between Luna and me, noticing how Luna bit her lip in uncertainty,

'' June got detention,'' She blurted out with a shy smile,

Hermione's complete profile turned to mine. and her jaws dropped as I stirred my bench back, rolling my eyes ay her, '' Don't even start that, with me,'' I staked her. I knew that she had some sort of speech prepared in her mind, lecturing me of how improper and misleading it would be to other student's if the heir of Ravenclaw herself gets detention - I've heard it all before - a million times,

Both she and Luna watched, puzzled as I stood up, flinging my bag over my shoulder, '' Where are you going?'' She huffed, '' Don't tell me you're getting all mad and grumpy now because I can't take another one of your-,''

'' To detention,'' I spoke, shaking my head at both of them, before turning around, marching out of the hectic dining hall, 

______________________

I rushed through the hallways, knowing that I'm late for detention - Why am I always fucking late?

My breaths hitched in relief as I walked through the doors, strolling up to my seat,

" He's looking for you, mudblood." A cold, husky voice spits behind me, making me flinch by the sound of it - nearly suffering my breath as I meet blue eyes, his blue eyes - fuck - what is he even doing here?

The blond-haired smug Slytherin, seated in the far back, shot me a death glare as I stumbled back, " For god's sake, Malfoy!" I heaved, '' Why would you do that? Are you bloody mad?''

His smirk grew wider at my words, his fingers scratching the worn wood of his desk, " Why so tense, princess? Haven't Diggory gotten you to loosen up yet?" Pure venom dripped off his sarcastic tongue as my eyes narrowed into his,

'' Shut your mouth, Malfoy,'' I spat, turning back to my seat. I was more than upset with the smug, spoiled boy behind me -especially for calling me princess - just like Cedric does, and just as I caught his chair being forced back, probably to kill me for my spoken words,

" Late again, miss Ravenclaw?" Snape spoke sternly, holding in the doorway as he swept some of his greasy hair out of his eyes,

I stood petrified as he marched towards me, roughly slamming his book onto my desk - my breaths hitched as I stared at him in fear, " You are making it awfully difficult for yourself, miss." He paused, disappointment tore through his voice, " Perhaps another punishment will teach you some manners." He turns around in his tracks, taking quick steps to Draco, " Mr. Malfoy here has been failing his class with Professor McGonagall,'' My eyes snapped to Draco's, chewing on my lips not to let my smirk grow onto my limps. He's bad enough already, '' I was supposed to help him with his studies, but I rather not.''

His words caused my face to twist in disbelief, almost choking on my spit as I hoisted an eyebrow at my teacher, '' You finished top of your class last semester, isn't that correct, miss Ravenclaw?''

'' Yes, but sir-,'' I pleaded, but his hand rose in a swift moment for me to be quiet, '' It's settled, he's your problem now,'' I lowered my sights to my desk, hiding my head in my hands. This can't be happening. I can't tutor Malfoy - needing to spend every Christmas with his smug self is enough,

Draco groans loudly, cursing underneath his breath - loud enough for me to hear that he dislikes this, just as much as I do,

'' You will help Draco two nights a week,'' He begins, taking slow steps towards me, his voice darkened, '' And if you don't do as I say - there will be consequences." His eyes stabbed through mine, '' Is that understood, miss Ravenclaw?''

I felt myself swallow thickly, sending him a slight nod, '' Use your words,''

" Yes, sir." and by those words, Snape stormed out of the classroom, leaving me and the boy I despised more than anything, alone.

I stared emptily into my books as I caught Draco dragging his chair across the floor - and a sharp squeaking sound tears through my every sense, '' Do you mind?'' I snapped at him, annoyed by the sound he dragged out, but he doesn't even spare me a look. He simply takes a seat next to me, sighing as he does so - and then, we convene in complete silence;

Not speaking,

Not looking at each other,

Not even fighting - For an entire hour;

But in some way - I didn't mind. His presence caused me peace - it felt good, being near him as he leaned back in his chair, the clinking sound of him fiddling with his rings - sensing the cologne as it filled my nostrils - his minty breaths caressed my shoulder when I caught him peering over at me - and for a moment if only a short one - he didn't annoy me,

" Dismissed." Professor Snape grunts behind us as we both quail back by the harsh voice - before he yet again storms off without uttering a word, his cloak snakes behind him as he goes,

I felt my eyes catch Draco's as we both stood frozen - his eyes narrowed in mine, seeking for something in my eyes, and by that look, my heart fluttered - tearing my sights away. I reached for my books, hugging them firmly into my chest as I caught a step back, waiting for him to speak - but not a word is fleeing his parted lips, " Tomorrow, after dinner, the library," I mumbled beneath my sigh, spinning around to stroll out of the classroom.

__________________

" Can he do that? I mean, of course, he can. He's a professor. But can he force you to tutor Malfoy?" Hermione asks as we're walking our way down the hallways, the next morning,

I shook my head, still bothered with the reality of needing to study with Draco - " I don't know, but he certainly did." I groaned, meeting her eyes as we stopped in our tracks, and a flash of compassion rips through them; her fingers sought to tuck a curl behind my ear before she swiftly pulls away - staring down at the ground.

My neck snapped over my shoulder, only to see Luna smirking at the both of us - I rolled my eyes at my best friend and her need to make Hermione nervous,

I looked back at my brown-haired friend standing before me as her cheeks blushed - a lock of her hair twirling between her fingers - her gaze firmly fixed onto her lover,

I can't help smile at them; they're adorable as they're sneaking around, thinking that no one knows.

Hermionie suddenly snaps back to the present as I nudged her to the side, sending her a cheeky smile, '' Still there?''

Her brows furrowed, '' Oh, shut up,'' She giggled before her hand tugged at my arm, dragging me towards our next class, '' Back to Malfoy, '' Her voice cracked in disgust, '' There must be something we can do. You shouldn't have to study with him - and what am I supposed to do? You're my study partner, remember?''

I shook my head at her, flinging my arm over her shoulder, " I mean, it's Malfoy, how bad can it be?" - and the moment those words left my edges - I meet his stare. He's standing tall with his friends with his hands shoved into his pockets,

'' How bad can what be?'' His voice caused my heart to jump as I twirled around, '' Huh? Don't say you're talking about me again,'' He smirked, his tender, grey eyes bored through mine, and by the sight of them, my face softened, " Well, there she is, my favorite princess."

" I better be your only one, Diggory,"

" I missed you this summer." He speaks, quietly - for only us to hear as he reached for my hand, gently tracing his thumb over my knuckles,

" I missed you too, Hufflepuff," I mocked him as my sights gazed all over him, his brown hair a mess over his forehead, his cheeks blushed. God, I missed him this summer. We left things relatively swift last year, knowing that my mother wouldn't let me bring him home over the break - my mother never liked Cedric. She always said it was his flaw of not respecting me.

'' Stop snugging, let's go.'' Hermione's voice caused us both to jump apart, not wanting to be seen standing too close,

I shot her an evil glare before my eyes flickered to Cedric's as he nudged me to the side, '' You better go on then" His smile earned one from me as I chewed on my lip, sending him a slight nod, '' See you later, Diggory,''

'' You will,''

As I turned around - I noticed that Pansy had snaked her way to Draco, standing close, her hands running up and down his chest - and then, I met enchanting, blue eyes, noticing Draco's jaws tensed by the look of Cedric and me. I rolled my orbs away from him, shrugging my shoulders, '' Come on, love,'' Hermione smiled at me, steering me towards the next class,

____________________________

I signed out a loud huff as I took place in the library, noticing that the blonde one was nowhere to be found. I spent the whole afternoon wishing that Draco wouldn't show up - that this will be one of the times he disobeys Snape - but probably not. He always does his finest to annoy me. I started reading, finding myself lost between the pages for a moment before I jump back, frightened by slam right in front of me,

My startled eyes snapped to his, feeling my heart beating out of my chest, ''Finally,'' I muttered below my breath - sarcasm breaking through my soft front.

'' Speak the fuck up,'' His hoarse voice caused me to look at him again, and a smile grew onto his edges as he roughly hauled his chair back - taking a seat next to mine and as he does, his leg stroked against mine, my heart flutter by his touch - even by that brief touch my body craved for more -, and I hated myself for it,

''Here,'' I spoke, shoving a book across the table, '' You can start by reading the pages about-,''

'' No.''

I looked at him with furrowed brows, clenched jaws - my patience for him is about to run out, '' No?'' I hissed, '' If you're not here to study - then what are you doing here?''

His smirk faded, his face visibly tensed - eyes narrowed in mine as he started to twitch his ring coated fingers - ignoring my question. Such an ungrateful, immature child - this is why I always hated him growing up,

But even if I did hate him, and I do. I can't help to look up at him every now and then - his eyes were mesmerizing, his ring coated hand running through his blond, sleek hair did things to me - something I would never admit to anyone,

As my mind wandered, a feeling of getting caught lingered me - causing me to look down at my watch swiftly, '' Fuck,'' I blurted out, realizing that we have been here for more than an hour, almost jumping out of my seat,

Draco's neck snapped to mine before his sights dropped to my thighs, standing at his eye level - his tongue rolled on the inside of his lower lip, jaws clenched after. His acts caused my cheeks to flush in color as I stumbled back from him, '' I-,'' I uttered in hesitation, looking over his seated figure, noticing a few strands of blond hair messy over his temples - the crease in his forehead growing in uncertainty as I shook my head, '' Never mind,''

I caught quick steps towards the door, and just as my palms struck the wood,

'' Fuck, wait.'' He growled, and my veins iced in a heartbeat, peering over my shoulder as he's walking up to me, '' I'll walk you,'' He smirks, but his whole front yet stone-cold, '' We can't risk that our precious little mudblood, will get hurt now, can we?''

His words left me speechless,

I fucking hate Draco Malfoy,


	3. T w o ,

This chapter contains mature content.

____________________

''What are you doing tonight?'' Cedric grinned, as he rose a brow at my looks, '' I have a proposition,'' He continued, as he nudged me to the side, earning a chuckle from me,

''I have a thing, but then I can be all yours,'' I smiled at the brown-haired boy before me - my words caused him to take a step back, gawking at me wide-eyed,

'' What thing?''

I felt my insides twist - I hate lying, especially to him - but the jealousy and the distrust he would force on me wasn't worth it. I had to lie,

'' Nothing,'' I forced a smile, releasing a shaky breath as I sent him a sweet look. '' Just, studying with Hermione,''

His eyes narrowed in mine, seeking to find if I was truthful or not - and my mind strayed off to Draco, deeming of asking him to meet me in the library tonight. We haven't studied for the whole weekend, and I wanted nothing more than to get this over with,

'' Alright then,'' He smiled, sending me a wink as he took a step back, '' You owe me a rematch,'' His words caused me to roll my eyes at him,

'' That's stupid, Cedric,'' I chuckled as I blinked quickly, '' You lost - there's no such thing as a rematch here,''

'' Really?'' He hissed, eyes snapping to mine, '' Then there's a couple of other things we could do,''

'' Ugh, stop it,'' I pushed my palms into his chest as he tugged me closer - wrapping his warm, safe arms around me, '' What if someone sees?'' I spoke quietly,

'' Let them,''

I shook my head, forcing myself out of his hold, ''You are going to make me late for class, Hufflepuff.'' I mocked him, chewing my lower lip, '' And we both know how Hermione feels about me being late for class,''

He let out a muffled laugh at my remark, catching a few steps back '' Fine,'' He rolled his eyes, '' I'll wait for you tonight,''

'' You better,''

I turned around, walking around the corner we were hiding behind. The second my eyes raised from the ground, the smile I had glued to my lips seconds ago vanished - at the sight of a certain blonde-haired Slytherin, leaning against the wall with his hands shoved into his pockets, and then - I saw her. Pansy - once again flinging herself onto the smug boy. Her hands stroked his arm - his eyes studied her front as she laughed at something he'd just told.

Disgusting.

I can't place my finger on what it is,

but something about the sight of them,

Together;

Annoys me.

I marched my way up to the two chattering students, only to notice that the blonde one already has his blue eyes placed on mine as a thread of light rips through them, '' Tonight?'' I heaved, feeling myself swallow thickly - before the raven-haired girl spun around as she shot me an annoyed glare, but my sights didn't leave Draco's - eyes narrowed in another, feeling the tension throbbing as his demeanor changed in anger,

''What is happening tonight, Drey?'' Pansy whines, glancing back at Draco - and I couldn't help but cringe when she calls him that, Drey.

I've always found a bit of pleasure in that nickname, not because she's the one speaking it, but because I know how much he hated it.

He shrugged roughly, still staring at me with vivid eyes - nostrils flaring as I rose a brow in question - why is he acting like this?

Draco swallowed thickly, inhaling sharply through his nose, '' Nothing,'' He spoke coldly at the girl hanging around his neck, and that's when I realized why he looked so fierce. He didn't want her knowing about us studying - like I didn't wish Cedric to know,

''But she just said-,''

" I fucking told you. Nothing." He shouted as he rolled his eyes at her, looking annoyed, '' Stop with the fucking questions,''

Pansy's eyes placed in mine; a mixture of jealousy and spite tore through her orbs as she seized a track closer to me, vigorously forcing her wand into my chest. I sensed her wand stretching into my chest as I meet her stare, hatred - that was all my mind could think - almost like someone took over my senses, and before I knew what was happening, ''Excuse you?'' I shoved her back - her wand dropped to the floor, and she stumbled into the wall behind her, gulping as she scowls at me.

I tried to calm the rising feeling of hatred rushing through my veins - shutting out the darkness clouding my mind. I wasn't scared of Pansy, quite the opposite - she was harmless - cruel, but harmless, and she couldn't hurt me even if she tried - she's protective of Draco, it's always been like that.

I stepped into our last class of the day - still annoyed by the thought of Pansy. I slipped down to my seat next to Luna, groaning loudly for her to hear,

'' Well, hello to you too,'' My eyes snapped to hers as a smirk curled onto her lips, '' A good afternoon, isn't it?''

Luna's words caused me to let out a chuckle, rolling my eyes at her - if there's anyone who knows how to bring my mood back up - it's her.

Her eyes drifted off me, finding their way to the brunette with big, brown deer eyes squatting in front of us.

Both are blushing as their eyes interlace, quickly looking away, and I can't help but smile at the sight of them, adorable.

" Today, we'll be practicing the charms you read about last week, and no need to turn against the person next to you. I have already paired you into groups." Professor McGonagall spoke, causing both Luna and I to snap our necks to her.

Groans and murmurs filled the classroom as she frowned over all of us, waving her head in disappointment.

" Miss Granger and Mr. Longbottom." She mumbled. Hermione glances back at us before her eyes caught the brown-haired boy behind us. " Miss Lovegood and Mr. Goyle." McGonagall proceeded, and with Luna not owning lousy bone in her body, she happily strolls over to the boy she's paired up with - she let her hand glide over my shoulders as she shoved herself past me, sensing a shiver run down my spine by her touch.

" Miss Ravenclaw and Mr. Malfoy." The professor uttered again, and my heart stopped,

I looked up, staring out in the busy classroom - feeling numb as my eyes snapped to his. He shot me a mean glare but even at that look, that malicious, cruel look - my heart found its beat again. I clocked back to being as his eyes pleased mine, standing up to walk over to his seat, and to my surprise - he pulled a chair out for me, sending me a slight nod to take place, and I do.

I seated myself next to him, peering over my shoulder as I felt a sinking feeling waver over me. He scoffed as he caught me staring, feeling my cheeks glow red, fuck.

" Well, we don't have all day. Get started!" Professor McGonagall cut my thought off, and I could feel Draco's eyes glaring all over me once again.

I spent merely the whole class trying to help Draco with his spells, even if he hadn't spoken a single word to me for an entire hour - and that isn't easy, seeking to teach someone something when they refuse to talk to you. He only looked at me - the whole class proceeded with Draco and me, sending each other glares.

" Your turn," I spoke quietly as he scoffed at my terms, shrugging his shoulders - aiming his wand at the object in front of him, his eyes narrowed into the flower pot, but before I grasped the word of it - he's thrown into the wall behind us - dropping helplessly down to the ground.

'' Draco," I gulped as I pushed my chair back, hurrying my way to his squealing figure. I look around, surprised that no one noticed, and just as I reached down to help him up - he forced his feet into mine - causing me to fall on top of him.

A whimper left my lips as I sensed his palm stroke over my chest, to untangle ourselves, " You bloody mental.." I cursed, doing everything in my power to pry him off me as I clocked his eyes, and for a fleeting moment; I felt myself grow lost in them - non of us aware of how it looked when I straddled him, his hands firmly placed on my bare thighs, ice-cold rings digging into my flesh - and for just a second in our throbbing eye-contact, his hands explored their way up and down my thighs,

And a second later, it was gone - I clasped back to presence, floundering around from his tensed hold, " You filthy mudblood, get the fuck off me!" Draco roared as he forces himself off the floor to face me. His minty breaths fanned my lips as he stood close, too close for comfort - blue eyes bolted in mine as he repeated himself, '' You filthy, fucking mudblood,''

But his words didn't affect me anymore - after years and years of foul language and mean terms - you learn how to put it aside. Instead, I found myself pushing him back, only to feel a hand wrapped around my wrist, and Pansy thrusts herself in between our heated bodies - running her hands down his chest before she shifts to me - her eyes swelled with anger, " You filthy.." She rises but instantly freezes when she realized that her words did nothing to me.

I turned around in my steps, about to walk away from the both of them, " Acting like a true Riddle, aren't you?" She screeched venomously as a smirk climbed her rims - and by those words - those precise words - my temper snapped. Eyes narrowed in hers and the students around us had hushed quiet as a nervous silence echoed around us - everyone waiting for me to react - because all of them knows, that no one calls me Riddle.

I took a threatful step towards her, causing her to take one back as I leaned in, trailing my tongue behind her ear. " You have no idea what I'm capable of, you bloody fool," Pure venom dripped off my tongue as I let out a peel of soft laughter, " From now on, consider the fact that my name is Riddle, the least of your worries.'' Fright printed all over her face as she caught my words. I tended back from her, still smiling evilly - running my tongue on the inside of my cheek - peering over her shoulder only to see the fallen look on his face,

He heard my every word.

___________________________

I adjust the water on in the shower while getting undressed, tossing my clothes into the far corner of the bathroom as I stepped into the steaming shower - letting the hot water rinse over my tensed figure, feeling my mind wander.

I can't help but think about Cedric and the way he makes me feel - the way he looked at me with lust throbbing around us -feeling the warmth racing through my body by the thought of being near him,

I felt my fingers traveling over my hips, down my thighs as the image of Draco's hands gripping my thighs earlier popped up in my mind - his rings digging into my bare skin,

My whole body strained cold.

Fuck.

I can't feel this way about Draco - I just can't.

I gasped as I noticed the marks bolted into my skin by his rough hold of me - I sealed my eyes closed as I let out a huff, feeling my fingers eagerly traveled further down - the thoughts of Draco's eyes, buried deeply in mine - repeatedly struck my mind. My body jumped by my own touch as my fingers collided with my excited bundle of nerves - slowly rubbing circles around my clit. I threw my head back in the pleasure of imagining Draco's rings biting into my skin -

My breaths hitched underneath the warm water as I felt my speed quickening - a trail of soft moans escaped my parted lips as waves of satisfaction flew through my senses. My back arched by my own stroke as I shoved a finger inside of me - my thumb still working my clit. I could still feel his touch, his eyes bored in mine, the way he spoke, '' Fuck,'' I groaned out, alone in my shower - my body trembling by my touch -

Unchecked moans escaped my divided lips as my orgasm felt tingling in my abdomen -

I'm so close,

Too close,

As my finger worked deeper and deeper, the taste of euphoria became overwhelming - my eyes rolled to the back of my head as my insides twisted - welcoming the peace my orgasm brought for a fleeting moment, still out of breath,

Before someone pounds on my door, ''Since when do you lock the bathroom door? June?'' Her voice spoke, '' Are you even in there?'' 

'' Wait, I'll be right there, Luna,'' I heaved as the panic seized me - The panic of being caught, doing what I was doing.

Luna's knuckles kept striking the door, '' I heard some strange noises.'' She stretches, and I didn't even have to see her realize how wide her smirk grew at this,

'' Hold on, Luna.''

I forced myself out of the shower - stumbling across the tile floor as I strived to wrap a towel around my still shaking body. I felt the icy air nipping my heated skin, as I swung the door open, meeting her silvery eyes, "How did you get in here?'' I questioned her, trying to avoid the subject of the locked bathroom door and the strange noises. I leaned against the doorframe - feeling damp strands of hair falling onto my profile as I looked down at her - her head slightly tilts to the left, stretching on her toes to look inside the bathroom, '' Luna, are you serious right now?'' I huffed as I shot her a furrowed look,

Her smirk grew wide, '' What? You know I have to check,'' 

'' No, you don't - what are you doing here anyway? I was just about to-,''

''Hermione wanted to know if you would like to join us? We're playing cards.'' Luna asked tenderly, cutting me off - the smirk fading out to a genuine smile instead, and I can't help but gawk at her as her hand seeks to brush drops of water flowing down my cheek,

She's so gracious,

She always has been.

I found myself floating lost in her light silvery eyes, '' I would,'' I smiled. '' But I have plans with-,'' Fuck, fuck, fuck, Draco,

My body stretches in panic as I forced myself back, annoyed by the chuckle escaping Luna's edges, ''I'll leave you to it then.'' She smirks, turning around, almost skipping out of my room.

________________________________

Heavy steps echo throughout the halls as I march towards the library - taking a seat at my usual place and yet again - all that my mind craved was for Draco to stay away, not showing up. I didn't want to look at him, ashamed of myself by the fact that I got off thinking about him. Ugh, that boy has caused me enough. I tore my book wide, staring down at the pages, and slowly my mind drifts off the blonde one.

Too invested in my book to notice the blond-haired Slytherin seating himself in front of me. ''Do mudbloods like you ever stop reading?''

I flinched back at the sound of his dark voice, my breaths hitched - my eyes snapped to his blue ones, noticing the smirk curling onto his lips and in the heat of the moment, due to being scared haft to death - I threw my book at him, '' You bloody idiot,'' I heaved as I looked at him wide-eyed,

He looked at me with pure hatred as the book hit him in the chest, '' Am I really the right person to be called a bloody idiot - when you're the one fucking throwing shit?''

I chewed my lower lip at his word - my face twisted in a grimace as a wave of embarrassment washed over me, '' You shouldn't have done-,'' I rose but as he caught on to my words, he slowly struck the spine of the book before aiming it - and lastly, throwing it back at me, '' What the fuck?'' I gasped, staring into his amused eyes, '' Are you mental?''

''Done what, princess?'' He snickered, trying to provoke me even more,

I rolled my eyes at him, catching my breath as I looked down in my book again, '' Just shove off, Malfoy.'' I muttered, feeling my blood rising to boil within me, and then - we sit there, in complete silence yet again.

I tucked a curl behind my ear, eagerly turning the page of my book as I heard him sigh loudly, '' What?'' I snapped without watching him.

But he doesn't answer me - he keeps quiet, and it caused me to look up at him, '' What?'' I repeated myself,

His eyes bored into mine the second I looked out of my book - his jaws immediately clenched, his fists also. I fell lost in his eyes for moments - and it's strange, I have looked into those eyes probably a million times by now - but I've never, not even once, seemed to noticed how beautiful they are, how they could light up an entire room. I felt my lip sucked in between my teeth,

'' Don't do that,''

His voice scored me back to being as I tore my sights away,'' Do what?''

But my sights couldn't stay away; he was too pleasing for the eyes, every nerve in my body begged for me to look at him as he leaned back in his seat - knuckles striking the table before him, '' Don't do that disgusting thing with your lip - you know, the sucking thing,''

My cheeks flushed at his words as I shook my head at him, '' You're fucking mean, you know that, Draco?''

'' I know,''

Another huff left my lips as I stared into blue eyes, and a feeling of forgetting something crawls up my back, and suddenly - I clocked out of the embrace both Draco and I was consumed in - remembering Cedric.

I pushed my chair back - swiftly making my way over to the doors, '' Tomorrow?'' I asked - chewing on my lower lip in hesitation,

Draco rolled his eyes at my doings, running a ring coated hand through his hair as his jacked tensed around his shoulders, '' I will walk you, we can't let...''

'' Let the precious mudblood get hurt. So I have heard.'' I smirked - his demeanor overthrown by my sudden change in attitude, '' It's fine, Malfoy. I'll manage,'' He caught quick steps towards me - his body pressed against mine as my spine collided with the wall behind me - his eyes narrowed in mine as he towered over me, '' You don't get to talk to me like that,'' He growled into my shocked front as my heart speed by his touch, '' Is that fucking understood?''

I looked into his eyes, for a fleeting moment - to find the good inside him, but nothing - nothing but pure hatred stared back at me as I shoved him off, '' Go to hell, Malfoy.''

And by that, I rushed out of the library - scared to death that he would run after me - but he didn't - even if that was everything I wished for, him not running after me - my heart quailed by the thought that he didn't.

______________

I forced the door to the Ravenclaw common room open - hoping that Cedric would still be here, waiting for me - but I felt myself suffer a quiet huff when I watched the room echo empty - the guilt chewed my bones, causing my insides to twist as I heavily walked up to my room - locking the door behind me as a perfectly folded not caught my attention,

'' Maybe next time, - C.''

My heart ached - my insides twisted yet again,

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I'll have to make it up to him tomorrow.


	4. T h r e e ,

This chapter contains mature content.

______

I rushed my way towards Cedric, seeing his head among the other students and without him being prepared for it - I intertwined my arm with his, " Hi handsome," I smiled, earring a shocked look from the brown-haired boy as he stopped in his tracks,

His brows furrowed at my doings, " Look, Cedric - I'm sorry, for not showing up last night, it got late, and I-,"

" What got late?" His question caught me off guard, nearly choking on my spit, " You lied about what you were doing last night, June."

I felt my face twist at his words as I rose a brow, trying to figure out if he's serious or not, and not even a second later, he burst out in laughter, " I'm messing with you, love,"

I rolled my eyes at him, trying to walk away - annoyed with him for setting me up, but the second he grasps that I wanted to walk away, he pulled me back in, " I'm sorry," He chuckled, " That was mean - I'm sorry," He hushed down as grey eyes stared into mine,

My body flushed in warmth by his touch, " Come with me," I whispered - noticing students starting to crow the hall as I tugged at his hand, dragging him with me,   
______________

" Where do vanished objects go?" The bronze knocker asked as I leaned closer, " Into nonbeing, which is to say, everything," I whispered back and the door unlocks, a loud klick echoed though out empty stairs behind us,

Both of us laughs and tell the way through the common room as his hands sneak their way around my waist every chance they got, " A little too close, aren't you?" I mocked him, mimicking my mother's words the last time she met Cedric.

His face twists into a grimace as we're heading up to the hidden couch in the small library - our usual spot - last year, we filled a lot of nights here, particularly since we knew that we wouldn't be able to see each other all summer due to my mother and her strict rules - her strict rules of hating Cedric,

We used to dream ourselves away among the old, dusty books enclosing us - glancing out over the empty, quiet tower. I've always relished being up here - the bookshelves coating the stone-covered walls - the view that could blow a mind from the majestic windows, overlooking everything surrounding Hogwarts,

Maybe it's the feeling of home - the feeling of safety that fascinates me, after all, my family founded this magical place.

I felt his breaths fanning my neck as goosebumps rushed down my spine - I turned to him in a smooth move, his hands already tangled into my hair, slightly pulling my head back for me to meet his charming eyes - my views snapped between his lips and eyes, '' Does this remind you of anything?'' He heaved, staring deeply into my eyes,

I stared back as I sucked my lip in between my teeth, " Perhaps," I muttered, nonchalantly - rolling my eyes at his tensed figure,

The firm grip around me clenched, even more, his body pressed against mine as his hands travel down my lower back, '' What do you remember?'' He groaned into my skin, feeling a soft moan escape my lips as he does,

I leaned away as I shot him a sweet look, batting my eyelashes, '' This.'' I heaved, signing my lips to place a trail of soft kisses behind his ear, down his neck - his heavy breaths caressed my bare shoulder as his whole body tensed at my touch, '' And this.'' I remained- my hands traveled down his form - exploring his chest with my eager fingers,

Cedric's head falls back while a soft moan escaped his lips - I worked my way up to his jawline as I started shoving him back - one small step at a time, until his back collided with the wall behind him - his eyes clocked open at that, "And this,'' I moaned into his parted lips, biting my lower lip in hesitation before trailing my hands down to his bulge -eager fingers tugging at his belt, unbuckling it.

'' June?'' He murmured with his lips barely an inch away from mine, '' Yes,'' I breathed back - my hands still tugging at his waistband. The tension between us is more than touchable and without hesitation, his lips crashed into mine,

His arms swaddled around my waist, turning us around in a smooth movement - slamming me into the wall with his lips still caressing mine. My hands sought to find their way under his robe - tearing it off in a swift move - grey eyes engaged mine as I tilted my head back,

His hands found their way up to his tie, ripping it off him before dragging his shirt over his head, without once breaking our intense eye contact. I allowed my gaze to travel his body for a second - muscles flexing by his hard breathing. - abs strongly outlined,

He takes quick steps towards me again, wrapping his hand around my lower back as he kissed my lips fiercely. My hands rushed wild over him, tugging his hair, squeezing his neck. Cedric tugs my shirt up, as warm hands searched their way up my abdomen - caressing my breast as my underwear grew wet,

" Fuck, I missed you," He groaned into my parted lips," Now, let me show you what I remember. " Cedric smirks, pinching my thighs for me to jump and I do - he perches down on the couch with his back shifted to the empty room around us, planting me onto his lap - '' This.'' He grunted as his grip around me started to loosen up - hands finding their way in between our tensed bodies - down to my wetness.

I gulped, breaths heavier, '' I don't remember you being this wet for me last time.'' He grinned as his fingers trailed my underwear to the side, granting two of his fingers to stroke up my wet slit. I felt soft moans repeatedly escaping my lips before his hand covers my noisy mouth, '' Someone can hear you.''

'' Let them.'' I whimpered as his thumb found my clit while a finger rose to trust inside me. My hands clasped his neck, gripping him tightly as he lets another finger inside me - The pleasure is overwhelming - fingers sliding in and out of me is causing me to cry out in pure pleasure, " Fuck, Cedric,"

His speed fastens at my words, provoking my hips to grind faster over his throbbing bulge, '' I don't want anyone else to hear you moan - they're meant for me.''

His words caused my stomach to clench in pleasure, but something feels wrong - I can't feel my orgasm building up inside of me - I can't feel anything,

'' Cum for me.'' He grunts massively as I shut my eyes, striving to focus on the tingling sensation inside me - but nothing; It's blank.

I felt a wave of panic rushing through me, not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say - because he won't stop until he feels my pussy soak his fingers - I have to make this all about him, 

I forced him back by slamming his spine against the couch as his eyes meet mine - my deeds make his fingers slip out of me.'' I want you. Now.'' I breathe into his surface - knowing that he won't question me - he bucked his hips, to tug down his pants and boxers.

He pulls me back down - smoothly pushing my skirt up over my abdomen as I felt his throbbing erection underneath my hips - his length sliding against my slit, '' Now.'' He blows into my parted lips as he kissed me slowly. My hand firmly clutches his length, moving my underwear to the side and the next thing I knew was him thrusting himself inside me.

My hands flew to his hair, tugging it back as he persists pushing through my tight opening. '' Fuck, I didn't remember how tight you are.'' He grunted as his hands around my hips are hauled me back and forth, wanting me to move in motion as he kept hitting the right places, moans constantly escaping my lips - It feels so good - too good - but still not good enough.

Cedric leaned his head back, admiring me as I kept pushing my frame over his, breathing hard in pleasure - his cock thrust in and out of me with force, repeatedly. I shut my eyes closed, '' Are you close?'' He utters, still pounding into my heat from beneath,

" Wait," I heaved as my body rolled on top of his, my heavy breaths combined with his loud moans echoing around the room. I felt my face twist as the frustration builds up inside of me - of not being able to finish,

I peeled my sights open, and my whole body turned numb, my veins iced as I meet his eyes,

Draco's.

He's leaning against the rail of the staircase, watching us, running a hand through his hair as he tilts his head, smirking evilly at me when he realizes that I saw him.

His blond hair fell perfectly over his forehead, and just by the sight of him, pure pleasure runs through me again - I felt myself chew on my lip - feeling how Cedric worked himself under me, but I didn't care - I keep my eyes locked in Draco's - How did he even get in here?

The feeling of embarrassment washed over me due to him watching us - watching me not being able to finish -

But that sensation quickly fades as Draco rose a brow at me and the tingling feeling clutched my whole being. I felt my hips move faster over Cedric's hard length - running my hands through his hair,

Still not letting my eyes off Draco's,

I thrust myself back and forth as my nails dug into Cedric's bare shoulders, '' Fuck, I'm close.'' Cedric whines as I'm catching up my speed, feeling the waves of pure pleasure overwhelm me again - because of Draco.

His smirk still glued to his edges as he's slowly nodded towards me, still leaning against the railing - he's permitting me to release.

''I'm going to cum.'' Cedric breaths out as my warmth clenched around his throbbing cock, '' Fuck, me too.'' I moaned loudly as my existence reached my peak - waves of pleasure vibrated throughout me,

My body is shaking as he's slowing down his pace, feeling his head dropped into my shoulders, my eyes found their way back to Draco's - noticing he's still standing there - smirking.

I forced myself off Cedric as I pulled my skirt back down - the humiliation washed over me, thinking about Draco and what he saw us do. My eyes snapped to Cedric while he stands up, clasping his belt back together. '' Have you seen my... you know, bra?'' I whispered nervously,

He shrugged his shoulders at my question, " You look better without it." He smirked while getting dressed - my gaze keeps searching for it throughout the room, " I have to go. " Cedric spoke hastily, causing me to flinch by the sound of his voice, all worked up in my own thoughts.

I felt my face twist at his words, '' What? Where are you going?'' I asked but he ignored my question as he hurried away, leaving me alone in my clouded mind - confused to why he would run away from me,

My breaths hitched, " Looking for this, mudblood?" A cold voice smirked behind me and without a second guess, my mind remembered his voice, Draco.

I twisted around, noticing his pale highlights lighten up as I place my sights on him, his tall body leaning against one of the pillars. He's holding up my bra with his wand, my eyes widen by the sight of it, planting my hand up for him to give it to me, but he pulled it back, snickering.

" Can I have that back?" I challenge him as his smirk gradually fades away - followed by an unusual look all over his face." Ask me again, but try to do it nicely. Don't you know how to behave?" He demands as his fingers are playing with the stripes on my bra, his eyes still glaring over me,

I feel the impatience building up inside me, the audacity of this fucking boy.

I've let him call me a mudblood for years now, even though we both know that I am a pureblood. Every heir is pureblood and therefore, am I considered one.

Bloody hell.

My eyes pleaded his, '' Can I have my bra back, please?'' I ask him again, kindly but he keeps staring into my eyes, and it's causing my cheeks to heat up. He looks down at my arms, still hugged around my chest tightly - noticing a grin rising on his lips.

He doesn't say anything.

He stands there, enjoying everything he's seen since he walked through the door - loving the power he holds over me at this moment, and by that smug look on his face - I lose patience completely.

''You know what, keep it.'' I spat at the blonde, forcing myself past him, marching in the direction of my room when I sense a cold hand wrap around my wrist - roughly tugging me back to confront him.

My eyes snapped to his as he heaved heavy, teeth gritted. I jerk my hand away from his tight grip,

Trying to resist his touch, doing everything in my power not to want his presence near me.

But he keeps pushing my boundaries; taking a step closer to me before he leaned closer to my face - my nostrils filled with the scent of cologne and mint, '' Do you always finish by the thought of me?'' He whispers with pure hatred, fiddling with my bra still in his hands.

I take a step back; looking at him with disbelief written all over my profile as I shook my head at the humiliation washing over me and by that I turn around to walk away, leaving him alone in the common room,

______

I slam the door to Luna's room shut behind me, my hair still dripping wet from the shower I just took, still clothed in my bathrobe. Both her and Hermione' necks snapped to mine with shocking eyes as I pace back and forth over the creaking wooden floor,

I just had to come here. They always manage to calm me down. I need to think about something else; Something other than the embarrassing moment with Draco, knowing that he witnessed that, us.

And the fact that Cedric practically ran away from me.

I feel my thoughts run wild inside my head before I snap out of them, hearing Hermione ask Luna something before both of them get off her bed to walk over to me. I flinch at Luna's touch, '' June, what's wrong?'' She asks kindly, and I meet her silver eyes. They're staring curiously into my blue ones - her hand is softly running up and down my arm, stroking it in comfort,

'' Does this has anything to do with the rumor we heard about at dinner?'' Hermione asked as Luna nudge her in the side, frowning at her, but Hermione merely shrugs before she gazed back at me, still with that curious look all over their faces.

'' What rumor?'' I stutter as a nervous feeling chewed my bones at what they're about to tell me, and the curious looks are exchanged for looks of concern.

My brows rose, '' Cedric and Cho,'' Hermonie spoke quietly, and I slightly shake my head at her - my eyes flickering between the both of them, not having a clue of what she's talking about.

'' What about them?'' I question her, feeling my heart starting to beat faster in my chest. I tucked some of my still very wet hair behind my ear, nervously- trying to focus on what she's about to tell me.

'' They are together. ''

And by hearing those words;

My heart stopped.


	5. F o u r,

This chapter contains violent actions, please read with caution.

____________________

Both Hermione and Luna gawked at me wide-eyed, eyes burning into my skin, "Is she alright?" Hermione asked her sweetheart, '' Should we do something?'' Concern cracking through her soft voice as she shot Luna a severe look, '' I mean - look at her,''

But Luna didn't utter a word as she shrugged shoulders at her lover, scratching the back of her neck, sighing loudly, " She's been standing there for almost ten minutes - We have to say something. " Hermione spoke again, nudging Luna to her side, '' Do something,''

" Just give her a minute!" Luna shouted, visibly annoyed, brows furrowed '' Just give her a damn minute,''

A trail of loud huffs and rolled eyes between the two, " Fine," Hermione finally shouted back - flinging her arms out in the air - her loud voice caused me to look på at the two raging girls, standing a few feet from each other with spite radiating around them,

I rolled my eyes, a sinking feeling nagged my bones, " I can hear you, you know," I spoke, quietly, clearing my throat, and both of them cringe at the sound of my raspy voice - staring at me in doubt, eyes begged mine to say something - to speak my mind,

But I don't know what to say. I don't even know what to think right now. I feel betrayed, stupid -stupid for letting Cedric in, stupid for believing that this would matter to him, that I would matter to him - stupid for allowing him to mean something to me.

But most of all,

I'm confused.

I'm confused about his actions, about him telling me that he wanted me. I knew that we weren't together, and I didn't want us to be. I was the one who told him no last summer because I wasn't ready. He promised me that he would wait for me, however long it took,

But apparently;

Not long enough.

I clocked out of my thoughts yet again, '' I told you she wasn't okay,'' Hermione whispered, sending Luna a mean glare, '' I just think we should-,''

'' Oh, shut up.'' Luna cuts her off, '' Just shut the hell up, would you?''

Luna's words caused both Hermione and I to look at each other at that before both of our necks snapped to Luna's, '' I know she's not okay - I'm not stupid.'' Luna spoke quietly, taking a track up to me, '' But, we should give you time - we don't even know what happened,''

And by that, my eyes pooled, looking at my two beautiful best friends, '' Thank you,'' I whimpered as the two of them took immediate steps closer to me, wrapping their arms around my trembling body,

____________________________

I never dared to leave Luna's room all weekend, too startled of what had passed both with Cedric and Draco, and even if I wanted to leave - Luna and Hermione would never have let me,

My two friends stayed in with me during my hard time - playing games, painting nails, reading - I loved having Luna read to me; she always allowed me to settle my head onto her lap as her thumb trailed soft circles on my cheek - she always read with such empathy,

And I adored them, both of them, so much as they cuddled next to me, a lock of Luna's hair intertwined with Hermione's fingers - They love each other so much, too much, and it fluttered my heart to see it because I loved them - more than words could ever begin to describe - I always wished and dreamed for what they have, something pure - honest - shared,

Something real.

_______________________

I pushed myself off Luna's bed, striving to get to the door as a small hand clutched my wrist, " Are you sure about this? You knit that we can stay-,"

Luna huffed loudly, cutting her lover off, " I don't think so," She muttered, " If you don't want to come, that's up to you - but don't you dare start putting thoughts into her head - she's been through enough," My eyes snapped to Hermione's startled ones, she looked genuinely shocked by Luna's words,

And then, her eyebrows furrowed, arms crossed over her small chest, breathing heavily, ready to argue her mind, " Well, if you won't take responsibility in this - I will because she's not a toy, you can just-," Before I could hear the rest of her well-spoken speech about how Luna needs to give me more time to heal and so on - my blonde-haired best friend dragged me out of the room, slamming the door shut behind us -

I looked at her, eyes hooded as she dragged me down the stairs out in the hallways, " She's about to kill you - you know that, right?" I smirked as Luna shot me an annoyed look,

She walked me with fast steps towards the great hall, arms intertwined, " Well, she shouldn't be such a-,"

I found myself chuckling at her words, " Such a?" I mocked her, " Hermione, shouldn't be such a what?"

Her eyes trailed off mine as she groaned out in frustration, flinging her arms out in the open, " Such a know it all,"

I burst out in laughter, stopping in my tracks to clutch my stomach, " Such a know-it-all?" I taunted her again, eyes prickled in water, " That's the best word you could think of? Know-it-all? "

She glared at me, annoyed by my attempts to mock her as she pushed me away from her, entering the great hall, " Shut up, June," Luna rolled her eyes as she seated herself to the table - both of us scared that Hermione would find her way here, still furious with us,

And of course, she did - still mad, she refused to talk to us the first twenty minutes off dinner and then, with a kiss on the cheek from her sweetheart, she melted right back to the Hermione I loved - we talked and told, about everything - that's simply another reason to love the two of them - there's always something to talk about something to discuss, to argue,

My eyes darted between the two lovebirds before they dropped to my plate, trying to decide if I had it in me to eat the last pancake, " Hermione, what are you?" Luna's voice tore through my thoughts, causing me to clock back to being,

Luna nudges her in the side, " Hello? Earth to Hermione?" She spoke with a giggle as she snapped her fingers in front of Hermione's startled show - but she didn't budge, she remained petrified as her eyes narrowed into the entrance, " That's enough, what on-,"

And just as Luna and I tried turning around to look at the reason she's acting like this, her hands snapped to clutch our wrists, " Please don't - let's just go," Hermione forced a smile, teeth showing as she pushed her bench back, " Please,"

Luna pulled her hand back, staring at her girlfriend in question, before swiftly turning around - a loud annoyed scoff escaped Luna's lips as she does, "

What do you want, Malfoy? "

My breaths hitched, my heart suffered beating - fuck,

I didn't dare to look over at him at first, knowing that he stands there, waiting for me to turn around and face him - I felt myself swallowing thickly as I took the deepest of breaths,

And then, I met his blue eyes, instantly narrowed in mine, a devilish smirk curled up on his lips, '' You forgot this the other day.'' He shouted, for everyone to hear as he stretched his hand out, and my heart completely stopped by the look of it,

My bra - resting in his palm,

I felt myself blinking quickly as my hitched breaths strived to clock back, staring into his evil centers, " Mature, really mature, Malfoy," Luna spat at the cruel boy, feeling a comforting hand rest on my lower back, " Why don't you take that, and get the hell out of here,"

Draco didn't care about Luna's words; he didn't even spare her a look as he kept blue eyes narrowed in mine - he rose a brow at me, " Not so tough anymore, are we?" He laughed, " That's how it goes when you fuck a Hufflepuff,"

I tore my sights away, staring down at the stone covered ground, and the second he noticed, he bowed down to my level - his hand roughly clutched my cheek, bending it back with force to look at him, " You will learn to look at me, when I speak to you, filthy mudblood,"

My views snapped to his in a heartbeat as a shaky breath left my lips, sensing his cold hand wrapped around my chin, cold rings digging into my flesh,

" Let go of me," I uttered with a trembling lip,

A peel of laughter left his lips, " Make me, Riddle,"

Blank - that's how it felt when his tone hit my senses, and by that exact word - Riddle - I snapped,

I launched myself off the bench I was seated on, and with all the force I possessed - I pushed him, making him stumble back, " Don't you dare touch me, ever again," I spoke as my eyes pooled,

A trail of gasps left the students around us, and every stare reached ours,

Draco's chest breathed heavily as his tongue ran over his lower lip, taking slow, threatening steps towards my trembling figure, " What did you say?" The blonde one hissed, " What did you fucking say?"

My eyes locked in his as he stands close, and for a moment, I could almost hear his blood boil; he's not mad anymore,

He's fucking furious,

He scoffed, biting his lower lip as he towered over me, " I asked you a question - I asked you, what you fucking said," He holds, as a curve tends in the corner of his mouth, " Riddle,"

And without thinking - I felt my hand collide with his cheek as his head shifted to the side - I slapped him, with no remorse - I'm done being intimidated by him because I didn't do one single thing to upset him, merely as if he woke up one day and simply decided to make my life a living hell,

His face turned to stone, jaws clenched, teeth gritted as blue eyes snapped back to mine, and without a doubt, his hands flew to my throat - squeezing it roughly,

A muffled whimper suffered my lips as I felt myself panic by the air running out of my lungs - the sustain of oxygen is overwhelming, my hands sought to find his, trying to pry his hands away - but to no use, his rings only tugged deeper into my sore flesh,

My eyes begged his, my touch pleaded him, but nothing, his eyes grew dark as his hold tenses, not even a single flash of humanity ripped through his dull eyes - all he wanted to do at this moment was to hurt me, almost as he craved to hurt me,

One single drop of liquid rolled down my cheek, one plead for this to stop, for all of this to end,

And from nowhere, like a sign from a fallen angel, his eyes turned soft,

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the human in him - because he was a monster, a son of the devil himself,

I felt Draco's hands around my throat loosened as he got pulled back, " That's enough, Draco," A dark but calm voice spoke, and he did as asked,

He let me go,

And my body dropped to the floor; my skin collided with the cold ground. I felt my body crumble as I crawled away from him, and his urge to torture me,

He hurt me, he was the one who caused me harm - yet I was the one who crawled up on the floor, ashamed,

Nobody dared to move, to blink - nobody even dared to breathe at this moment because nobody knew what he was capable of but still - everyone knew.

I laid there, frozen, humiliated by his deeds until I heard his footsteps, waking away - and a breeze of fresh air tore through my lungs. I could breathe again - my heart found its beat as I felt her hands wrapped around my shaking body, my best friend,

Her arms squeezed around me in comfort, and by the sound of her voice as she whispered into my skin - the touch of her - the touch of home - I broke.

I broke down in her embrace as my sobs echoed throughout the hushed hall, and I could almost sense her heart break inside of her chest - Luna's heart broke for me and all the pain the blonde one had caused me,

Her voice shredded through the tension, '' Why are all of you still doing here?'' Her arms around me pulled me even closer, '' There is nothing to see here, leave.''

I felt my heart aching, my hands trembling, my senses are torn away,

And all because of him,

_______________________

The flashes of sun tickled my eyelashes as my eyes peeled open - hurt,

That was all my mind could think as I sealed my sights closed again. I wasn't ready. I wasn't prepared for another day, a new day - I wished for all of this to an end last night. I couldn't do it anymore - I didn't want to,

My head pounded in pain as the world became dizzy, my chest held heavy while striving to clock my views broad - I walked into my bathroom, and for a moment, I didn't dare to look at my own reflection - too scared to see how he had marked my body with his abusing hands,

I felt myself gasp the second my eyes placed in the mirror.

My skin was bruised, all the way from my chin down to my collarbones, and the sinking feeling I had held the last couple of days,

Drowned me,

From the inside, out,


	6. F i v e ,

I walked my way to class, my arms braided with my two favorite people on this earth - my two lifesavers. Even if neither of them had spoken a word to me, all day - I knew - I felt how much they cared.

After I had fallen asleep last night, I heard them talking about me and how they don't know what to do anymore, and I can't blame them - not even I know what to do anymore,

Luna pushed the door open as Hermione dragged me inside, and as expected, the whole class hushed, every stare turned to me- the girl everyone pitied at this point,

And I hated it,

I hated that people pitied me - that they felt sorry for me because I didn't. I wasn't sad - I was hurt, mad, furious - I hated him so much.

But I hated myself more,

I hated myself because I didn't blame him - I blamed myself,

I slipped down in my seat next to Luna, burying my head in my book - avoiding every eye clocked to mine - every stare seeking to pry.

'' Are you sure you're up for this?'' Luna's voice caused me to cringe as my neck snapped to hers, '' You don't have to be here, you know that, right?'' Her eyes pleased mine, her hand sought to stroke my back as I laid bent over my desk,

I stretched my back as I shot her a slight nod, chewing my lower lip - sinking into the chair as I felt my eyes drifted, staring out over the class and out of all eyes mine could choose -

They choose Draco's.

He gawked at me, wide-eyed - fists clenched as his eyes narrowed into mine, and for a slight second, I let them. I allowed his stare to seek my soul - for mine to seek his and then, I looked away,

He was the devil in human form, and I hated him.

I shook my head, swallowing thickly as I stared to the front of the class - impatiently waiting for professor Snape to get started, craving for my mind to concentrate on something other than him and his stare burning into my skin. I felt my eyes roll as Luna nudged me to the side, '' What?'' I huffed, looking at her with solemn eyes, but she didn't have a chance to answer my question before Snape rushed his way over to us,

My eyes snapped to Snape's, "You've been excused." He mutters as a strand of black hair fell into his eyesight before he hauled an envelope on my desk, quickly turning around - marching back to the front of the class.

Luna clutched the letter before I had a chance to even look at it, '' It's your mother,'' She heaved, pointing towards the seal on the back, '' What does your mother want? It's been a week, don't tell me that Amber-,'' She hushed as she meets my bothered stare, snatching my letter back from her,

'' That's right, Luna. It's my mother,'' I rolled my eyes at my best friend, '' Stop being nosey,'' - a chuckle left her lips at my words, '' I'm not nosey - I'm just mad that she didn't send me anything,'' She talked, '' She usually sends me an owl, and not you,'' Her eyes stared softly in mine as a proud look climbed her front,

I huffed, sending her an annoyed look as my fingers eagerly ripped the letter open,

"

My lovely June.

Words can not describe how much I miss you. I hope you are doing well and that you are taking good care of yourself and the people around you.

Unfortunately, I have to ask you to leave school for a few days. I need you to come home. We have matters to discuss.

Travel safe.

Love, Mother.

"

Her words left me clueless - confused as to why she needs me to come home in the beginning of a school year, '' What did mum say?'' Luna smiled, shouldering me to the side, '' Wait,'' She blurted out, clasping the letter - her sights rushed over the ink, '' She wants you to come home?'' 

I felt my shoulders shrug as I rose a brow, '' Apparently - I don't know why she's never done this before,'' Luna's brows furrowed, her lips twisted into a firm line - probably as confused as me,

'' Well - you better get going - we can't have mum waiting,'' She snickered - reaching to tuck a curl behind my ear, letting the spine of her hand stroke my pale cheek, '' Be careful, please.'' She held, '' I love you, grumpy,''

Her words caused my heart to melt as she sent me a soft look, '' I love you, silly,'' I murmured into her hand before I pushed my chair back, straightening my skirt - walking out of the classroom,

The door closed shut behind me, turning in my tracks, '' Oh god - I'm sorry.'' I blurted out, floundering back from the student I just walked into - his hand grasped my arm the second he realized that I almost fell back,

'' Are you alright there, June?'' He asked as I felt a shiver rushing down my spine -it was the same voice that told Draco to let go of me yesterday. My eyes snapped to his brown ones,

I felt myself gulp, clearing my throat as my eyes grew wide, '' Blaise?''

His eyes stared softly into mine, a smile curled onto his edges as he towered over me, '' In the flesh,'' A snicker left his lips before his face turned serious again, '' Is everything alright? - you seem a bit off,'' I could see how his eyes traveled down my neck, holding at the bruises Draco caused,

'' I'm fine, thank you,'' I tried to convince him, but he didn't let go of my arm - his warm hand held me in a steady grip as he kept smiling, '' I have to-,'' I stuttered, lowering my sights at the ground -

'' What the fuck-,'' His hoarse voice yelled as he forced the door open - both of our necks snapped to the raging blonde-haired one as his face twisted in disgust, '' Zabini - hands off her, right now.''

Blaise's eyes caught back to mine, sending me a friendly smile, " You'll have to excuse him, June. He's acting like a bloody fool," He stretched the last word, glaring evilly at his friend before his sights locked in mine again - he caught a step back as the heated hand slipped off my arm," Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

I forced a humble smile onto my trembling lips, " Thank you," and with that, Blaise walk into our classroom, shouldering Draco as he goes - earring a scoff from the blond one,

I ripped my stare away from Draco's as I turned around, ready to leave this madness for a few days, " Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Draco cursed, feeling a cold hand clutching my wrist as I tried to walk away, " What was that letter all about?"

Suddenly, his infuriated demeanor changed in concern, his eyes bored through mine, trying to yank my wrist away, " That's none of your concern, Malfoy," I spat at his front,

I felt myself staring daringly into his sights as a smirk stretched onto his edges, " That's where you're wrong, mudblood," He corrected, " Do you really think that you're the only one receiving a letter from mum?"

I felt my insides twist as a sickening feeling lingered within, " Let me go, Draco. Right now." My eyes snapped down to his hand digging into my wrist, as the hatred for this boy chews my bones, " I told you never to touch me again,"

He shook his head, huffing amusingly before his face turned to stone, catching another step closer to me, " Then tell me where you're going, right fucking now," His minty breaths fanned my skin, nostrils filled with his cologne, standing too close for comfort,

In another attempt to yank my wrist back, my hair falls off my shoulders, and in a blink of an eye, his eyes snapped to my neck - his whole face fell when his views caught the bruised throat of mine, a shaky breath snuck his lips,

I immediately look away, taking a step back - I didn't want him to see me vulnerable - weak - hurt, at this moment - I didn't want him to look at me at all.

I hated him,

" June - I-,"

My eyes clocked his again, and to my surprise, all I saw was regret. His eyes flashed in guilt as he scratched the back of his head, running his ring coated fingers through his hair,

I stared at him for another second before I took another step back, " Just," I huffed, releasing a trembling breath, " Just leave me alone, Draco." I swiftly turned around, walking away from the boy I despised more than anything - I did, I loathed him, and yet my heart ached as I marched further down the hall, catching Draco cursing below his breath, slamming a fist into the wall,

_________________

Two days was all I got to spend with my mother this time, and even if I cherished every second of it - I missed her even more as I left. I hated leaving her alone at home - especially with everything that's been passing with my father and he rumors circling his name,

The hot water rushed over me as I let out a loud huff - relieved to be back at school again, but I still couldn't get all she spoke about out of my head,

\- she was more than pleased to hear that Cedric and I had called it quits, and to be honest, so was I. My mother wasn't too surprised at his actions - she never liked Cedric and always made that very clear,

The real reason she craved for me to come home was to talk about him, my father - She used to share all kinds of tales about him, how they met, how deeply and utterly they fell in love and how he later shattered her heart into a million pieces by becoming the most hated man among us,

But she was strong, my mother. She was a graceful, honored woman and never allowed my father's deeds to tear her down - to tear me down.

He used her to keep his bloodline intact - to have a child to carry on his legacy if he one day was domed to die, and he did, he did die while my mother was still carrying me, and then, he returned.

My mother always ensured me that I was safe - that he could never lay a hand on me or seize me to be the child he always wanted because I wasn't. I never grew to be the child; everyone feared me to be - I never became like him.

And that shocked our whole world because I was the dark lord's daughter - the offspring of Voldemort himself and still became a loved, cherished young woman.

All because of her, my lovely, brave mother.

I couldn't help to feel scared for her because she was alone with my father still out there, knowing that she kept his daughter hidden from him. I was pleased to hear that Narcissa and Lucius visited her at least once a week, checking up on her, and then my mother asked me about their son. I did my best to avoid the subject of the blonde-haired boy, but I could tell that she knew something was up -

I shook my head, wrapping a towel around my dripping wet body as my damp hair rested perfectly on my shoulders. I strived to look at my reflection in the mirror - still shocked by my bruised neck - the hurt of the marks increased more by every day that passed - I rolled my eyes at myself, sensing my insides twist again by the humiliation of Draco and what he did to me,

My hand tugged the lock of my bathroom door, striving to unlock it, but before I had the chance to - it forcefully swung open, icy air nibbled my skin as I flinched - my eyes snapped to blue, furious ones - narrowed in mine, '' Draco?'' I gasped, still in shock by him forcing himself into my bathroom,

Draco's breath heard heavily as he caught a step into my steaming bathroom - jaws clenched when his sights snapped down to my figure, realizing that I have nothing but a towel wrapped around me. His raw demeanor closed the space between us as he pushed me into my sink.

'' Draco, what are you-,'' I rose but is quickly cut off by him clearing his throat. His tall body towered my small one. I stared into his eyes with furrowed brows, scared of what he could do to me - I hugged myself as my back arched over the sink, tending away from him as much as I possibly could, '' Stop it, Draco.''

" Where the fuck did you go?" He shouted, inches away from my face.

I felt myself heave for air,


	7. S i x ,

This chapter contains violent actions. Please read with caution.

____________________

" Where the fuck did you go?" He shouted only inches away from my face — His words caused me to swallow thickly — not owning the courage of speaking my mind.

All my mind could process was how close he stood, " For fucks sake — just answer me," He cursed again, eyes narrowed in mine,

I inhaled sharply, sucking my bottom lip in between my teeth, " That's none of your business, Malfoy." I tried pushing my palms into his chest, wanting him to leave, but he didn't budge — his tongue rolled on the inside of his cheek as he caught a step closer — placing his hands on each side of my trembling body, trapping me in,

My heart pounded out of my chest when his lips nearly brushed against mine — his minty breaths fanned my skin, " Draco, please." I begged, noticing the furious look flashing through his dense eyes,

But he merely ignored my pleads for him to back away. Instead, I felt his cold fingers traveling up my nearly exposed back — a trail of goosebumps traced across my damp spine as he goes,

Even if I resisted it, with every bone in my body - I still couldn't help but to crave his touch - it consumed me,

I felt a gasp escaping my lips when his hand gripped a handful of hair, yanking my head back to please his eyes, " You have a bad habit of not listening to me, June." He spoke silently,

I felt my blood boiling at his words, " That's because I told you not to touch me," Staring intensely into his blue eyes,

He only scoffed at my words, " You don't want me to touch you?" He cooed as I chewed my lower lip,

I do,

I want you to touch me,

More than anything,

But I can't give in — I refuse to.

The tension between us clung touchable, " No,"

But he ignores my statement. He tightens his grip around my neck, pulling my head back even more, pressing his body onto mine.

" If you leave without telling me, ever again. I will make sure that you don't come back." He threatens me before he lets my hair go, pushing himself off the sink, taking a step back from me.

'' Also, make sure to stay away from Blaise. '' He mutters, giving me one last look before he turns around and storms out of my room.

Leaving me leaning against the sink with his scent surrounding me.

I turn around, hovering over the sink as I let my eyes run all over my reflection in the mirror in front of me, still breathing hard in doubt of him;

What is he doing to me?

But more importantly —

Why am I letting him do this to me?

Trying to wrap my mind around what just happened, and suddenly, I feel it.

The longing for his cold eager touch;

The longing for his skin to touch mine;

Fuck.

__________________________

I slipped down to my seat at lunch, next to Luna and Hermione as usual, ashamed for leaving them — even if they told me numerous times that they didn't mind — I still felt terrible, but that was only another thing to add to the list when it comes to why Luna is my best friend — is that she's always giving me the benefit of the doubt, every time, without questions asked.

I felt a smirk growing onto my lips as I thought about it — how lucky I am, '' What are you smirking at?'' Luna chuckled as I shook my head, snapping out of my mind, '' You look — like you're up to something,'' She smiled, shouldering me to the side as she leaned closer, not for Hermione to hear,

'' Whatever it is — can I join?'' Her curls tickled my nose as I shoved her back, eyes rolled between us,

I looked at Hermione with annoyed eyes, '' She's mental this one,'' I smirked, gesturing to my best friend beside me, earing a slap on my arm because of it,

Luna's face twisted in a grimace as a peel of soft laughter heaved her lips, '' I'm the mental one?'' She hissed, pointing a finger towards herself, '' Well, if that's the case — this crazy one needs to do her homework,'' — she pushed herself off her seat, planting a kiss on Hermione's cheek before she turned back to me, '' See you later, silly,''

I snatched her hand in mine, stroking it carefully before she walks away — My sights clocked back to Hermione as she's looking after her lover, sipping on her glass of pumpkin juice.

I felt my views wander, staring over the busy hall of students and chattering, and then — my eyes matched his — the blond-haired Slytherin, blonde strands of hair messy over his temples, jaws clenched. I chew on my lower lip as I caught myself staring lost into his eyes, not even bothered by the brown-haired girl seated next to him — stroking his arm,

'' What are you gawking at?'' Hermione's voice caused me to tear my sights away from his, looking at her instead — my cheeks flushed, still feeling his eyes bored through mine — ''What do you mean?'' I shrugged, trying to shake the feeling of him off me, '' I'm not gawking, Hermione,''

Her eyes sought mine, trying to figure out who I was looking at before her views fell to the table — her colored cheeks turned pale, '' June, maybe we should—'' But before she had the chance of finishing her sentence — I peered over my shoulder, shocked by the grey-eyed Hufflepuff storming towards us,

Cedric holds an inch away from me as I stood up to level him — heavy pants fanned my skin as he shoved me back, '' Fucking around now, are you?'' He cursed at my startled front, earning a furrowed look from me, '' Fucking answer me,''

I felt my insides twist in disbelief — I haven't talked to him in over a week — not even to confront him about being with Cho the night he fucked me — and still, he dared to walk up to me and humiliate me in front of everyone,

I narrowed my sights in his as he caught a step closer — towering over me as my blood begins boiling, '' What is wrong with you?'' I challenged him, '' You have no right to come in here and start—''

His hand clutched my wrist, yanking me back to look at him, '' Did you fuck him?'' He seethed as the grip around my wrist tensed, '' Malfoy?'' — Cedric's words caused my veins to ice, shivers fled my spine as I looked into his grey eyes, pleading him to stop,

I shook my head, feeling dizzy of everything passing, '' What? I—,'' I breathed, seeking to find the right words,

'' Don't you dare lie to me,'' He hissed, teeth gritted as he flung my arm away, '' Cho saw him leave your room last night,'' — my stomach turned as a sickening feeling washed over me — it was true then — He used me — Cedric fucking used me.

I tore my eyes away — not owning the strength to look at him right now, '' I hate you — I fucking hate you,'' — a cruel curve climbed his lips as he took another step closer, '' You have no right to talk to me like that, Cedric — you were the one—''

'' Like what?'' He smirked, pure venom dripped off his tongue, '' Like the whore we all know you are?''

I stood frozen, my eyes snapped back to his as he let out a peel of provoking laughter, '' And you have the marks to prove it,'' Grey eyes traveled down my neck, clocking the bruises left by Draco's hands —

And by that — I didn't own any control over myself anymore —

I slapped him, hard.

Leaving a red mark on his cheek as he grasped it with his hand — looking shocked at me before something inside of him — snapped,

Cedric snatched both of my arms, '' You fucking—,'' He rose, roughly squeezing his hold of me, and I felt myself trying to shove him back, terrified of what he'd do to me '' You're nothing but a fucking whore, June — You disgust me,''

'' That's enough, Cedric.'' Hermione's voice heard from behind, but he didn't care — he was too angry — too furious to let anything get to him as his hands were beginning to hurt around my skin,

'' Let me go, Cedric,'' I demanded, still trying to yank myself out of his grip, but to no use — he was trapped in hatred, and just as my temper was failing me,

I sensed him — the ice-cold presence behind me as a frozen hand pulled me away from Cedric's hold, my eyes clocked him again, '' Calm the fuck down, now.'' Draco cautions me before his eyes shot Cedric a death glare, '' He's not worth it,''

Cedric merely scoffed at Draco's words, eyes rolled as I forced Draco's hand off me, '' I can take care of myself,'' I seethed before taking steps away from the two angry boys — my shoulder struck Cedric's as I pushed myself past him,

'' You truly are a whore,'' The brown-haired Hufflepuff mumbled as I walked away — his words caused me to stop in my tracks, and just as I was about to turn around to face him,

His body dropped to the floor like a trail of blood is splattered onto my skirt,

I didn't find the words to speak at this moment — I stood terrified, peering down at the squirming Hufflepuff laying close to my feet, as sobs echoed through the hushed hall — my views stared in shock, before snapping up to Draco — standing tall, fists clenched by his deeds,

'' Draco,'' I breathed, and by the sound of my voice, his numb eyes flickered to mine, '' Draco, what did you do?'' — a string of light breaks through his numbness by the sound of my voice. I looked at him, still startled by what he'd done — He stood there, blue eyes bored through mine before he kneeled, next to the wounded boy, whimpering on the ground,

'' If you as much as look in her direction again, you're dead.'' He threatened through gritted teeth, visibly shaking before he leveled up to me again — placing cold hands on my waist, '' You need to leave — now,'' His eyes begged mine,

But I couldn't move — I felt my breaths hitch as Draco shoved me back, '' Draco, please,'' I pleaded, feeling his heavy pants caressing my skin, '' Please,''

His head snapped to Hermione as she placed on her seat — terrified of what just happened, '' Granger,'' He seethed, voice low, '' Take her out of here — now.''

I felt my insides twist in question as Hermione rushed her way up to me, evilly glaring at Draco before wrapping her hands around my shaking figure, '' It's okay, darling.'' She whispered into my hair, '' Let's go,'' 

______________

Hermione left to find Luna — she was the only one who could calm me in times like these, the only one who understood me — I felt my eyes pooling, still in shock of what Draco did.

I feel terrible for Draco — I never wished for him to do what he did, but still, in some way — I was grateful for what he did. Cedric deserved much more he had ever received — I hated him — He used me, but yet I was scared — scared of how my mother would react if she found out about this — scared of Draco's father and what he would do if—,

'' June, are you crying?'' A humble voice spoke before me as I clocked out of my thoughts, '' What happened?'' I felt myself stumble back when I meet his brown eyes, staring into mine,

'' I—, Blaise I—,'' I breathed, not being able to form my words as he took a step closer, shoving his books into his bag, '' I just—,'' My sob caused my tears to fall — my body shaking as I hugged myself,

Blaise's arms wrapped around me, pulling me close into his warm embrace, '' It's okay, love.'' He mumbled into my head, '' Come with me,'' 

_______________

Blaise stretched the glass of water out for to take, '' Here,'' He spoke as he tilted his head, sending me a concerned stare, '' You should drink something,''

My shaky hands reached for the water as I shot him a humble smile, '' Thank you,''

He paced around in his room, back and forth as he rushed his hands over his head, '' Tell me precisely what happened,'' He heaved, '' Tell me what Draco did,''

And by that — we took place on his bed, and I told him everything — everything that happened today — everything that had passed with Draco, Cedric, my father — I'm not sure of why I would do that — why I told him everything, but there was something about Blaise, that made it all easier,

His knuckles rubbed the heavy brown eyes as he tried to gather his words, '' First of all — are you alright?'' He tilted his head to rest on my shoulder, '' Because I know in first hand what Malfoy and his games can do to a person,'' I peered down at the boy resting beside me, noticing his fingers nervously tugging the sleeves of his sweater,

'' I think I am,'' I huffed, '' I just—, It's not normal, for a person to act the way he does — I don't understand it,'' I felt a drowning feeling lingering within as I thought about it — how Draco almost chocked me to death the other day but now he protected me?

He turned in his position, looking at me with wide eyes, '' What do you mean?'' He questioned me, '' I just—, He's been ignoring me for years, Blaise, and now? From out of the blue — he cares?''

A smile rose on Blaise's edges when he caught onto my words, '' He tried to kill me, Blaise. This isn't funny,'' I spoke, my voice scored low,

'' You can't honestly be that surprised, June,'' He snickered, placing his head on my shoulder yet again, '' He even told me to stay away from you,''

The words leaving Blaise's lips earned a shocked look from mine,'' Why would he do that?'' I scoffed, annoyed at Draco for even trying to interfere with my friends, '' Because he's Draco — he doesn't make any sense most of the time,''

His hand sought to find mine, fiddling with my fingers, '' Doesn't the two of you spend Christmas together?'' He chuckled as he inspected my painted nails, '' Can you do this on me sometime?'' He asked, changing the subject as he trailed my hand up, pointing towards my nail polish, '' It's pretty,''

My heart flushed at his request as I sent him a slight nod,'' Of course,'' I smiled as he pushed himself up, shoving me to the side, a concerned look coated his features, '' Are you sure that you're okay?'' I shook my head at the boy next to me before I shoved him back,

'' Are you sure that you're okay?'' I mocked him, as he shoved me once more — causing me to fall over the edge of the bed, grasping his hand to pull myself up but instead — he dropped down next to me — His chest felt heavy against mine, '' You bloody fool,'' He laughed trying to prop himself off me, '' Look what you did,''

I felt my stomach bend in pain by all the laugher, eyes pooling in joy — '' I'm the bloody fool?'' I gasped between chuckles, '' You where the one pushing me off the bed,'' I felt his breaths fanning my blushed cheeks, and just as he pushed himself up —

The door slammed open, causing both of our necks to snap to the blonde-haired boy standing frozen in the doorway. I pushed Blaise of me, sitting up in fright as I watched Draco's face drop — pale skin turned paler of what he'd just witnessed, '' Draco,'' I gasped — but to no use, his defeated look swiftly turned to a furious one, before he turned around —

And stormed out.


	8. S e v e n ,

This chapter contains violent actions. Please read with caution.

__________________

I looked over to Blaise in despair as he pushed himself off the floor, taking quick steps to follow his best friend, '' I'm —,'' He cooed, standing in the doorway,

'' Go, Blaise,'' I uttered as he continued chasing Draco — I felt the tears pooling in my eyes because Draco had never looked at me like that before out of all the millions of times he'd meet my eyes — this was the time humanity showed and I hurt him — he would never admit it, but I know I did,

My body trembled throughout the hallway as I tried to find them — scared to death of what Draco would do, veins iced as I heard loud cursing from the common room — my sights immediately snapped to the two arguing boys, noticing Draco's hands tensely tugging Blaise's throat, '' Draco — please,'' I begged, running towards them,

My hands flew to pry Draco's off, hearing Blaise's need for oxygen, '' Draco — please stop. You're killing him,'' My cries echoed through the deserted room — but Draco didn't budge, he wouldn't even look at me, his eyes bored through Blaise's with spite, '' Please,''

Draco was too upset, not even noticing that both Blaise and I did everything possible to make him stop — he was too furious, nothing could break through his trance of hatred. My fists repeatedly collided with Draco's figure, doing everything possible for him to snap out of it — for him to stop.

My heart ached to see Blaise being treated this way, '' Nothing happened between us, Draco,'' I uttered, my eyes pooled — tears flooded down my cheeks as Draco's breaths hitched, his neck snapped to mine before an icing cold hand roughly grasped my chin — he stared at me, blue eyes stabbed through mine and then — he forced me back, causing me to stumble back into the glass table,

The sound of my whimper as my body dropped to the floor mixed with the shattered glass flying everywhere caused Draco to snap out of his state, looking at me wide-eyed, '' Shit—'' He cursed as he pushed Blaise back to the couch, kneeling beside me, '' June, I—,''

I felt my body twist in pain as the glass had tore cuts into my tender skin — the pain was overwhelming, fragments of glass embedded in flesh caused blood to flow everywhere — my head felt dizzy, not being used to seeing so much blood, '' Draco—,'' I breathed, looking up at the blonde one. Cold hands wrapped underneath my back and knees before he pulled me up, close to his chest, carrying me towards the stairs,

'' We're not done talking about this,'' He endangered to his best friend, placed on the couch, breathing heavily, with his head buried into his hands, '' I'll deal with you later,''

As Draco carried me up the stairs, he refused to look at me — his touch was warm, caring, but his front looked stone-cold, his slightly damp strands of hair resed perfectly over his temples — dark eyelashes surrounded the blue eyes most breathtakingly — I could see every mesmerizing detail, every perfect flaw embedded into his skin,

_____________________________

Draco placed me onto the sink without a word spoken — he merely looked at me while settling my sore figure on top of the cold marble counter.

A trail of whimpers left my lips as his hands tensed around my skin — he felt scared to cause me any more pain, and by the taste of that, blue eyes met mine as they flashed in regret. I held his minty breaths caressing my face as his eyes traveled down my form — jaws clenched as he looked over the tears in my skin, '' Fucking hell,'' He cursed underneath his breath as he turned away,

The lump increasing in my throat caused my eyes to water, '' It's fine, Draco,'' I uttered, startled to be this close to him, alone — but wasn't scared of Draco — I frightened the state he consumed himself into when the hatred took over, but I didn't fear him,

I looked around in his bathroom, noticing how clean everything seemed — how fresh it scented — the walls coated in black marble with the small dark green towels Narcissa always brought with her, was placed in every corner,

Draco cleared his throat for attention as he closed in with a towel resting in his hand, '' May I?'' He asked, gesturing towards the cuts on my legs — I simply nodded my head, '' This will hurt,'' He mumbled before towering over me, leaning towards the shreds in my skin — and it did — it stung more than anything had ever stung before in my life,

I chewed my lips, holding my breath as the blonde one tried to clean the cut, '' Why are you doing this, Draco?'' I spoke quietly, gazing over his devastated self,

His jaws clenched at my question, veins popping off his neck, '' Does it hurt?''

'' What do you think?''

Silence,

He rolled his eyes — annoyed with my attitude as he once again soaked the towel with that harsh smelling liquid, '' It hurts a bit,'' — a trail of huffs left his lips as he concentrated on removing the fragments, '' Fuck,'' I breathed out at the fabric sored my skin,

'' Keep still,'' He muttered back, placing a cold hand upon my thigh as his eyes sought mine, '' Just keep still,'' My eyes looked over the boy as he cleaned my wounds, '' Draco?''

'' Yes?''

'' I'm sorry,''

His eyes snapped to mine in a blink of an eye — breath hitched as his face twisted in uncertainty, '' What are you on about now?'' He scoffed, staring at me with wide eyes,

I sucked my lip in between my teeth, feeling lost in his eyes, '' I told you not to do that,'' He snapped, clutching my wrist, '' Stop — fucking stop doing that lip thing,''

I rolled my eyes at him, '' I don't blame you — you know,'' Draco's sights grounded at he tended away, '' You should — you should blame me,''

I felt my brows furrow at his words as he took a step back, releasing the grip off my wrist, '' Nothing is going on between Blaise and me, Draco. It was stupid — I shouldn't have—''

'' Don't you dare blame yourself for this — I did this, no one else,'' He snapped,

'' Well — then I suppose it's no one's fault,'' I smiled, his eyes leveled mine again, a small curve arched on his lips — cold hands found their way down my waist, gently helping me down,

'' All done,'' He grinned, tilting his head for a better view of me, hands still glued to my waist, '' Are you alright?''

'' I'm fine,'' I stuttered, frozen in his grip,

He took a step back, and his arms dropped to his sides as his eyes kept staring through mine. I pushed myself past him, halting in the doorway, '' Well — thank you for this, and for the other thing,'' I smiled as he furrowed his brows, looking confused,

'' What other things?'' Draco questioned me, still eyeing me down,

I felt a chuckle leave my lips as he stood clueless to what I meant, '' Punching Cedric, of course,''

His tongue licked his lower lip as he tried not to smile, hands shoved into his pockets, '' Don't flatter yourself, June — I've been waiting for a reason to knock that bloody prick out for years now,'' He chuckled, white teeth showing, '' I should be the one thanking you for giving me a reason to,'' Eyes rolled at his words before I turned around,

Not having the chance to do so before a cold hand wrapped around my wrist, pulling me closer again, '' I still despise you — you know?'' He shot me a daring look, raising a brow,

I hissed at his remark, yanking my wrist back, '' I expect nothing less from you, Malfoy,'' I turned around in my tracks to open the door, '' Likewise,''

'' I have to ask something of you,'' His voice scored low as he looked at me with pleading eyes,'' I need you to talk to Diggory,'' — noticing the grimace he held by speaking Cedric's name, '' I can't risk my father knowing out this — you know how he gets,''

This was hard for him, asking something of me after he'd hurt me, and I didn't want to. He didn't deserve it — but what his father would do to him if he found out would be worse. I sent him a slight nod, '' I can try,''

Draco's jaws clenched at my words, stiffly bowing his head, '' Blaise will accompany you — I don't want you meeting that bloody fool alone,'' He demanded — his face turned hard, the crease in his forehead showed,

'' Watch it, Malfoy'' I grinned, '' You nearly sound concerned for me,'' His eyes rolled as he took a step closer, trapping me in between him and the door,

'' Besides, didn't you tell me to stay away from Blaise?''

Blue eyes clocked mine, twisting his mouth as I felt warm breaths fanning my face, '' Yes, I did — but you have an ugly habit of not listening to me, June,'' He spat, inches away from me, '' But I highly doubt that Blaise would ever touch a mudblood like you anyway."

My jaw dropped at his words, forcing my palms into his chest as he stumbled back, granting him an evil glare, '' He just did,'' — and by that, I slammed his door shut behind me, storming off.

I hate Draco Malfoy — I hate Draco Malfoy — I hate Draco Malfoy.

He's the devil — I have to hate him.


	9. E i g h t ,

This chapter contains violent actions.Please read with caution.

___________________

I watched out over the deserted hall, impatiently waiting outside of Cedric's classroom — usually, I would enjoy having a free period, generally spending it with Hermione and Luna. But not today — today was different,

I was supposed to talk to Cedric yesterday with Blaise present, but I refused. I avoided the two best friends all day, till it was too late. I refused to let Draco have his ways with me — therefore, I told Blaise that I would meet him later,

I know that there's no way Cedric would agree to anything with Blaise present. He despised them — he hated everyone that was in Slytherin. I never found out to know why he did. He never told me, but I could tell that they were competitors in quidditch, and I think that the completion followed him off the field.

At this point, I wasn't certain he'd even listen to me, not after what passed at dinner a few nights ago — he was wrong in his doings, I know he was — but he also has a bad habit of not letting things go. On my sixteenth birthday — I was gifted a lovely silver necklace from the Malfoys, and by Cedric being Cedric, he refused to talk to me until I agreed to take it off,

But I have to try talking to him, even if it bothered me — Draco defended me, he stuck up for me, even if he wanted to deny it. I owed him this — It's a funny thing, me, owing Draco Malfoy something.

The entry to the classroom flung open, and swiftly the quiet, somewhat peaceful hallway was now filled with students and noise — a trail of students shoving each other out of the way before my sights caught onto the tall, brown-haired Hufflepuff strolling past me.

He winced back as I tugged his arm, grey eyes bored through mine, wide-eyed, '' What do you want?'' Cedric spat at my startled front, yanking his arm back — I meet grey eyes as I stared at him with spite by his heartless demeanor, '' Well — speak up,''

Cedric's lip still coated bruised by the other night, '' What's your problem, Diggory? I questioned him, causing his brows to furrow, lips pressed into a firm line, '' I need you to do something for me —,''

His arms crossed over his chest as he eagerly waited for me to speak my mind, '' Why would I ever do—,''

'' Because you owe me, Cedric — because you hurt me,'' I snapped, his face slightly fell at my words as his eyes grounded, '' What you did to me — was cruel and mean, and I'm asking you to do something to make it up to me,''

He nodded at my words, still staring down at his feet, '' I need you to be quiet about what Draco did to you.'' Cedric's neck jolted up at my words as a curve arced on his lips,

'' Is that so?'' He taunted me, sounding amused by the situation, '' You want me to protect your beloved little boyfriend?'' I felt my temper failing me as I clenched my fists — not even caring about the fact that he called Draco my boyfriend, '' How about, no?''

I chewed on my bottom lip, trying to gather my temper together, '' Not even to protect your beloved little girlfriend?'' I fired back as I rose a brow, earning a shocked look from the boy — eyes bored through mine with hatred as his breaths heaved,

'' You wouldn't,'' He snapped, voice breaking in uncertainty, shoving his clenched fists into his pockets, '' You wouldn't do that,''

'' I would—,'' I smirked, leaning onto the wall behind me, twirling a curl of hair between my fingers, '' And do you know why I would do that, Cedric?''

'' Because you called me a whore, when you were the one dating Cho behind my back — you deserved what Draco did to you.'' My words left him gulping. He looked at me in disbelief running a hand through his hair,

'' Fine,'' He stated, gently placing a hand on each side of me, trapping me in his hold, '' I can keep your boyfriend's little secret, on one condition,'' He grinned evilly as he licked his lower lip, biting it after, '' Does he make you cum,''

The words leaving Cedric's tongue caused me to choke on my spit, several coughs left my throat as he stood solemn before me, heated breaths fanned my cheeks, ''Does he?''

I searched his eyes — trying to find the sweet, gentle boy I once held feelings for — but nothing. He's not the Cedric I knew anymore,

'' He did, '' I spoke, raising a brow as he furrowed his, '' While you fucked me,''

"What did you just say to me?" He shouted as a hand flew to my chin, gripping it roughly, '' I asked — what you said to me,'' His cheeks flushed in anger, nostrils flaring as he gawked intensely into my eyes,

A peel of quiet laughter left my lips at his reaction, knowing that I set him off, '' I said — he was able to make me—,'' With those words leaving my lips, something inside of Cedric snapped,

He slapped me,

He fucking slapped me,

My face ripped away from his as I sucked my breath in, once again chewing my bottom lip not to whimper in pain — my cheek flushed red as he stared at me shockingly, regret climbed his profile as he looked down at his hand, '' June—, I—,'' He stuttered,

I forced myself off the wall, shoving my way past him as I turned in my shoes, '' Don't you ever touch me again—,'' My chest heavy as I stretched my hand up to cup my cheeks, '' Or Draco will be the least of your problems,''

I caught him calling out for me, trying to get me to stop, but I refused — I wanted nothing to do with Cedric anymore — he's done enough.

_______________

I rushed my way through the crowded hallways, heading towards the great hall — repeatedly stroking my sore cheek, feeling it heated below my shaking hand —Draco can never know about this — he would kill Cedric, and he would kill me for meeting him without his blessing,

I cringed out of my thoughts as I heard a voice calling my name from afar, turning in my shoes to see Luna, hurrying up to me, '' June,'' She breathed, walking closer as she rested a hand on my shoulder, catching her breath, '' I've been looking everywhere for you. You took off after class, and I couldn't—," Luna halted in her words as her sights placed on my colored cheek,

My sights ripped from hers as I stared down, swallowing thickly, '' What is that?'' Luna confronted me, tugging my arm back to look at her — her face faltered as she scored an exact look of my redden skin, '' Who did this to you, June?''

I felt myself gulp — not owning the strength to tell her, but my best friend keeps a lively imagination and quickly jumps to conclusions. She spins in her shoes; silvery eyes searched the hallway around us before snapping to a certain blonde-haired Slytherin,

She marched her way towards him, shouting as she went, '' Draco Malfoy,'' Her voice tore through the noisy corridor, making students snap heads at her, '' Did you do this?''

Draco looked at her with spite, pushing himself off the wall he was leaning against — taking a stride towards the upset girl, '' How dare you to speak my name — you filthy,''

She snapped her fingers, making him hush down as he narrowed blue eyes in hers, '' Did you do this to her?'' Her words caused his face to twist in hesitancy, and then, she pointed the finger at my stunned figure,

'' Answer me, Malfoy — because if you did I swear to—,''

Draco's eyes locked to mine, ignoring every word leaving Luna's lips as he pushed past her — I turned around quickly, afraid of the temper I knew was coming down on me, taking a swift step before he yanked my shoulder back, '' Who did what to you?'' His voice ripped through my ears as he forced my arm further back, wanting me to look at him,

Brown strands of hair fell over my face as my eyes floored, feeling his eyes burning through mine, '' Look at me, June,'' He demanded, sounding hostile — his impatience seized the best of him as a hand flew to my chin, arching my jaw up to match his eyes, '' What the—,''

'' Diggory?''

My insides twisted as I felt the guilt wash over me, '' Answer me, right now — did that filthy half-blood lay his hands on you?'' He already knew the answer to that question, staring intensely into my eyes as he waited to catch me in a lie — I was so startled by Draco that I didn't even notice his best friend walking up behind us,

'' Draco, please—,'' I begged, blue eyes dared mine, jaws clenched as he loosened his hold of my chin, '' You don't have to do this,''

The look he gave me at this moment caused my knees to weaken, my heart slightly pounding as I felt his minty breath match mine, '' For fuck sakes—,'' He breathed, annoyingly,

His eyes watched over his shoulder, shooting Blaise a glare — my eyes searched him, my face twisted in disbelief as his best friend nodded at his remark. Draco slowly shook his head as blue eyes found their way back to mine — a shaky breath left his lips before pressing them together into a firm line,

I heard him swallow harshly as jaws tensed, and with that, he pushed himself past me, his friend quick to follow, both storming off towards the Hufflepuff basement.

_______________

My heart is hammered roughly within my chest, drops of sweat rushing down my pale forehead as I marched through the hallway, headed to the basement.

Stupid.

How can I be this stupid?

Draco's father will be furious with us, making our lives living hell if he establishes that Draco spent his time punching people because of me. My eyes snapped to the two best friend's walking fast before me,

" Draco, please—, " I begged through shouting, my voice scored throughout the corridor. He winced out of his violent state by the sound of my plea, peering over his shoulder as both of them clocked their necks to mine,

" June—, It's really not the time to—, " Blaise rose, catching a shoe towards me, but my eyes are quickly locked in Draco's, causing Blaise to hush down.

My eyes begged his, pleading for him not to do this,

" Draco—, " I breathed, and as soon as I do, his tensed, icing hands clutched my waist, forcing my trembling self into a wall — I suffered my breaths for a fleeting moment as my spine roughy collided with the stone,

Blue eyes narrowed in mine, nostrils flaring in anger, '' What are you doing to me?'' He heaved underneath his breath, shaking his head in doubt before his stare is once again pierced through mine,

I let out a shaky breath as he stood close, feeling heavy pants fanning my shocked features — Draco's face turned to stone, jaws clenched tightly, " This is your fault — what I'm about to do, is on you," He endangered, pure venom dripped off his tongue,

I felt myself swallow, chewing on my lower lip as I stood frozen in his hold — terrified of what he would do, " Please, Draco—," I begged once more, eyes flickering over his furious front, blonde strands of hair messy over his temples,

The hold of my waist became firmer as he leaned closer, nose brushing against mine, " You should've listened to me." He spoke, voice scored low, " I told you not to meet him alone, but as the stubborn fucking mudblood you are, you had to do it," His teeth gritted at his final word, and I felt numb, my views grounded because I knew he was right,

" Look at me." He demanded, teeth still gritted, firmly pressing his body onto mine. And I do, without thought — I meet his blue eyes in a heartbeat, and a smirk formed his lips as I obeyed him,

Blue eyes flew wide over my expression, " This is on you." He spat, forcing himself off me before he poured off. His rapid, sharp footsteps echoing through the hallway as I let my body slide down the wall, my heart shattered,

I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging myself as my figure crumbled — what have I done?

My pooling eyes failed me as a sob left my lips, " Please don't cry," Blaise begged, causing me to tilt my head up, leveling his kind, brown eyes as he kneeled beside me — He stayed.

I quickly wiped my tears, shaking my head. I felt ashamed, stupid — Draco was right, he had all right to blame me for this - I deserved it, " I'm sorry,"

Blaise stroke a comforting hand over my hair, tucking a strand of it behind my ear as he smiled at me, " No need to apologize - he's the mental one," He spoke, kindly, gesturing to his best friend that just fled us, " You have nothing to be sorry for,"

I felt a shy chuckle leaving my throat as I stared at him, " Come with me," He stood tall on his feet, reaching to grab my hand, pulling me up beside him,

___________

The rest of the night Blaise and I spent locked inside his room, talking — we talked about everything from him and his blonde-haired best friend, to the dress I thought to wear to the ball - he even let me put nail polish on his nails — he decided to go with black, before painting mine with a light yellow one,

He had a beautiful mind, such a kind soul, and he was kind, breathtakingly kind, and after hours of laughter — he fell asleep, with his head heavily rested on my lap. I couldn't help but cherish his charming features, his tanned skin, his dimples solidly embedded into his cheeks. He truly is beautiful, from the inside, out.

___________

I felt my breaths stuck in my throat as my eyes placed on the fuming blonde-haired boy, resting on the couch as I tried to sneak out of Blaise's room, unnoticed. Blue eyes immediately snapped to mine as he heard me take the last step off the stairs, '' Leaving in a hurry, are we?'' He spoke, tiredly,

Shivers fled my spine by his raspy voice as I stood frozen before him, '' Are we?'' He repeated himself, pushing his body up to sit correctly — Draco released a loud sigh, rolling his eyes at my quiet self,

'' Sit down,''

He patted the material of the furniture, indenting for me to join him in his misery, and I was hesitant at first, thinking that this was a bad idea, but his eyes narrowed in mine in the most daring way,

I seated myself on the far end, crossing my legs, '' What do you—,'' I rose, but he quickly shot me down, making me chew on my lower lip,

'' Is Blaise asleep?'' He asked, nodding in the direction of the boy's dorm, causing a strand of blonde hair to fall in his eyes,

I slightly nodded, nervously twiddling with my fingers, '' He is,'' Draco stared at me with hooded eyes, studying me purposefully for a second before we both snapped our sights away, staring into the fireplace, flames sparkling — but somehow, my eyes couldn't stay away, flickering back to him — he looked exhausted, numb, almost lifeless as he leaned his head back,

I sucked a deep breath in, '' Did you and Cedric—,''

'' No—,'' He muttered, '' I didn't—,'' His chest bent forward, elbows placed on his knees as he buried his head in his hands, '' I thought about it—, but no.''

'' I'm glad,'' I hissed as he tilted his head to look at me, brows furrowed before he pushed himself closer to me, making my cheeks flush in color by the scent of him, the smell of his minty breaths fanning my shoulder, '' I didn't mean to—,''

'' What — ignore everything I told you?'' He snapped, resting close to me, '' He laid a hand on you, and he will pay for it,'' My sights immediate grounded, scratching my forehead in embarrassment before his hand sought mine — cold fingers brushed over my knuckles,

'' He's a bloody fool — forget about him,'' My neck clocked to him again, his face clenched, but his eyes stayed soft, feeling my heart pounding because of it,

I shook my head before I quickly pushed myself off the furniture, stepping around it as his eyes followed mine, looking confused. I settled my hands on his shoulders from behind, feeling his toned muscles tensing by my touch as I leaned to trail my tongue behind his ear,

'' So are you,''

With that — I shoved myself off him, rapidly walking out of the room,

_________________

I flung my door open, suffering my breath after almost running my back to my room — I dropped my wand as a shaky breath left my lips, by the figure standing close to the window,

'' Narcissa?'' I questioned her, remarking the brown and blonde curls in a perfect mixture, '' What are you—,'' She turned to face me — but her face shunned dark, empty and not kind as it usually did, her eyes flaming red, tears flooded her pale cheeks.

She let out a sob before stumbling towards me, '' June—,'' She gasped, swallowing thickly '' Your mother—,''

My heart shattered,

" She's gone—, "


	10. N i n e ,

This chapter contains scenes of self-harm. Please read with caution.

______

'' She's gone.''

I stumbled back out of Narcissa's hold, feeling my spine colliding with the door. My face twisted in disbelief as every thought imaginable flashed through my mind,

This can't be happening.

My eyes pooled as I fought my urge to cry, " How—,"

'' The death eaters, your father—,'' Narcissa hewed me off, as well as herself, seeking to find the courage to tell me about my mother. Both of us stood frozen, scared to realize the truth. '' They took her away.'' She mumbled, stretching her hand to her ashen face to wipe the tears off her cheek,

My mind sought clouded by her words,

I couldn't think clearly. Everything my head flashed was my mother's last words to me,

'' Now go. I'll stay safe here. Don't worry about me. It's my job to worry about you.''

This is all my fault. I shouldn't have left her.

This was my job, not hers.

It was reckless of me to leave her alone in these mad times. I was supposed to stay with her — I knew that, and yet I did. I left her. She spent my entire life taking care of me, guarding me, keeping me protected. I was everything to her, and I couldn't keep her safe even when she needed me to.

Narcissa's eyes leveled mine, seeking words to express her sorrows, but she wasn't able to. She stood blank, empty, hollow — just like I did. I felt the color draining from my face, " Why?" I uttered through trembling lips, " Why would they do that?"

She shook her head, swallowing thickly, '' June, your father; he—,'' She pleaded, and I could tell how hard it was for her to speak about this. Both her and my mother always tried to spare us the torture of knowing. " The dark lord is capable of many cruel things, dear. I'm not certain there even is a reason to why he would do something—," She held her breath as she fought the tears,

My heart broke into millions of pieces, and every breath heaved heavier, my chest narrowed. My fingers clenched into fists, nails scoring in my palms to feel the pain and the relief that followed,

But nothing, everything hurts just as much at this moment. " I can't, Narcissa —, I can't lose her—," I cried out. My mind missed me as my hands roughly tugged at my hair, tears drowned my pale cheeks,

And then, I cried, I sobbed, I let it all out.

It wasn't possible to stay strong, not when everything within crumbled, everything came rushing down.

Narcissa tried her best to comfort my trembling self, but I shoved her off every time she closed in. I wasn't strong enough for this; my mother was the strong one. She was the one to take care of me — a shaky whimper left my lips as I buried my head in my bleeding palms. Every feeling possible chewed my bones, ached my heart, soared my core.

The pain felt overwhelming,

I was about to give up, give in to my mind, letting my thoughts get the best of me as my knees raised to fail me,

Darkness.

________

My head is pounded in hurt as my mouth felt dry — a cough escaped my lips, slightly pushing my eyes open, only to be greeted by the numbness circling me, the feeling of losing something chewed within but no recollection of what came to mind,

I flinched back the second my eyes reached the blonde-haired boy resting close, leaning over the bed frame with his head resting over my arm — the soft strands of hair brushed gently against my sore skin, and without even thinking about it, a shy smile managed to arch onto my lips, by the sight of him,

'' Enjoying your view, are we now?'' His voice came friendly, yet unexpected from behind, making me wince once again, meeting the kind, brown eyes of my new found friend, resting in a chair on the other side of the hospital bed, '' He's charming, and if you look close enough—,''

'' Are you completely mental?'' I hewed him off, rolling my eyes at his attempt to mock me, but still not daring to move too much, scared to wake the boy who's sleeping peacefully next to me,

Blaise rolled his eyes, propping himself up in his chair, '' I'm the mental one?'' He grinned, placing a comforting hand on top of mine, '' I'm not the one sleeping in an infirmary bed, June,'' The vocals taunted me, the laugh following provoked a chuckle to flee my lips,

I felt my insides twist in agony; my mind dizzy in question as I tried to breathe, slowly, '' What happened?'' I tried asking, my eyes flickering out over the deserted hospital wing, '' Why are we here?''

Blaise quieted down from his mockery, his eyes fell hooded to the floor as he swallowed the guilt flashing within, '' You had a fall and hit your head—,'' He mumbled, scratching the back of his neck, but even if I hadn't known the brown-haired by for very long — I could tell when he was dishonest, '' Don't lie to me, Blaise. You need to tell me what—,''

My breaths stuck in my throat, my eyes immediately pooled at the thought my mind strived to forget, '' My mother—,'' I gulped, almost choking on air as I pushed myself up, causing Draco to jolt back, quickly standing up to grasp what's passing. I forced myself off the bed, the freezing feeling of the stone-covered floor ached beneath my bare feet, but I didn't care,

The second I tried to take a step, my knees weakened, my body failing me, '' Fuck—,'' Draco growled, before wrapping his arms around my stumbling self, pulling me into his chest, '' Are you out of your mind —, you just woke up? You can't just—,'' He quieted his yells down, noticing the tears rolling down my cheeks,

I felt everything within crumble at the thought of her, my mother being out there in the hell of the unknown, all alone, with no one to care for her, because I was the one who believed in doing that. I should've kept her safe, but instead, I left her, all by herself, like a pray in plain sight — for my father to seize whenever he pleased to,

I couldn't stand the feeling of touch, especially not Draco's touch, every bone in my body caved as I tried to push myself off him, the trail of cries repeatedly leaving my lips echoed loudly throughout the room, '' Calm down,'' He tried to comfort, but nothing in this time could ever make me calm down, because he had her. My father and the death eaters following him had her,

My fists collided with Draco's chest, pushing, shoving, hitting him to let me go, yet he refused to do so, my acts only caused him to hold onto me harder, tighter, '' Fucking stop—,'' He spoke, harshly, '' I need to tell you something, can you just—,'' I managed to force him back, to create a slight space between us, before he pulled me back in,

'' June, can you listen to me—,''

I shook my head, tears kept flooding, '' I can't, Draco—,''

'' She's gone. I can't—,''

The cold hand wrapped around my waist moved without hesitation up to my head, forcing it into his shoulder, seeking to calm my trembling self, '' You need to listen to me.'' He hummed, '' I need you to listen to me, can you do that?'' My heart hammered roughly; my breaths hitched as I nodded into the fabric of his suit,

''I'm right here—,'' He cooed, close to my ear as the scent of mint and cologne trapped my every sense, '' I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere,'' He continued, stroking his hand down my back and I felt my body caving at his words, my figure giving into his as he tried to keep me steady,

'' Draco, perhaps we should send for Madam Pomfrey?'' Blaise asked, still hunkered down in his chair, looking more than startled at the both of us, '' I think she needs to sleep, Malfoy — she hit her head, she needs to—,''

The nod I felt Draco shooting him cut him off, the clinking sound of Blaise's shoes faded away before the door slammed shut, and there we stood, the heartless, vile Slytherin and I as I cried onto his chest, '' I'm sorry—,'' I whimpered, my hands moving in between us, burying my head in them, '' I don't know—,''

'' You have nothing to be sorry for, so don't you dare apologize for this,'' He whispered, prying my hands off my face, '' I need to tell you something—,'' The cold hand snaked to cup my cheek, bending my head up to look at him,

The blue eyes bored straight through mine, his thumb gently wiping the stains off tears off my drained skin, '' Your mother is safe, June — my mother found her, she went into hiding—,'' He held as I stepped away, brows furrowed in disbelief, '' It's alright, she's safe,''

I shook my head, feeling the ache throbbing within, lips parted to speak but not a sound could escape them, '' You weren't supposed to found out. She didn't want to risk your safety by telling you about hers—,'' The tensed look coating his features, shifted into a soft one, the eyes which usually tore in hatred, lit up in honesty, '' You can't tell anyone, but it's true—, she's safe,''

My hand slapped over my mouth, trying to muffle the whimpers, leaving them, '' She's okay?'' I breathed out, '' You're sure about this, she's safe?'' The blonde strands of hair fell messy over his temples, his lips pressed into a firm line,

'' She's safe—,''

_________

The headmaster granted me to stay in my room for the rest of that day, due to Narcissa's letter, informing him that she had found me unconscious on the ground when she meant to visit, and she made it more than clear to both Draco and me not to tell a single soul of what had passed,

I wasn't allowed to tell Luna, the girl I always confided in, and lying to her was going to be one of the hardest things because she had the ability to look straight through me and the lies I told her in the past, but this was different — this was about my mother's wellbeing, and I knew, if she ever found out about the lies I've been keeping — she'll understand,

Even if I didn't, I couldn't possibly understand why my mother kept this from me, why she let me believe that they had taken her, instead of making me promise not to tell anyone. She always sought to protect me from my father's dark mind and everything that befalls him, but this only caused more harm than good,

_______

I spent the rest of the night, resting in my bed as the darkness enclosed around me, and even if I tried not to, my mind constantly flickered back to the blonde-haired boy, thinking about what he did for me today, that he comforted me, that he was everything he usually was not,

Because he despised me, and I hated him, that would never change, yet something did, something between us had changed, and I needed him more than I ever thought I would,

It's a strange thing, needing someone you can't stand, craving to be near to a boy you hated,

______

My feet scored cold upon the hallway floor as I rushed my way through the corridors, striving not to get caught on my way down the dungeons. I knew how stupid this was, how much of a fool I tended to me, for feeling this way about a boy who did nothing more than break me, over and over,

But I couldn't help it. I needed to see him, and nothing else mattered,

I forced the massive door to the Slytherin common room open, nearly stumbling my way down the dimmed stairs, feeling the excited, longing feeling flushing through my blood,

Until I took my last stop of the stairs, my eyes grew wide, breaths hitched the second I watched them,

Him, resting on the couch,

With Pansy straddling his lap.

Running her hands through his hair.

My veins iced, my heart ached by the look of them, moving against each other in the darkness. I tried to walk back, but my tracks trembled as they both noticed, the blue eyes snapped directly at me, boring through me with spite, '' We're kind of busy here, mudblood,'' Draco smirked, pure venom dripped off his tongue before he roughly wrapped his hands around Pansy, tracing kisses down her neck,

My eyes pooled as I flung around, storming out, the sinking feeling trapped me, my chest felt heavy as I dropped to my knees,

I take it all back.

I fucking hate Draco Malfoy.


	11. T e n ,

I hate him. I hate Draco Malfoy more than any other soul lighting up this world. I've been avoiding the blonde-haired boy for nearly a week, every time he sought to speak with me, every burning stare I felt melting in my back in class, at dinner, in the hallway — I managed to stay clear from.

The haunting images of him and Pansy continuously flashed through my mind as I thought of him, the aching feeling scoring through my heart, hurt a little more every time it did,

But I didn't hate him for being with her because he wasn't mine. I knew that. He was more than free to do whatever he pleases.

I hated him for being with her, that night.

The night I needed him, the one night I wished for him to be with me, but at the end of the day, the boy I hoped would do better, was still the heartless, cruel boy I always knew him to be, and to be surprised by his actions was only me being a fool.

Nothing that boy does should come as a surprise,

Except for all the moments that had passed these last couple of weeks, the slight change in his demeanor tended to be more than confusing, misleading. 

The way he defended me, the way he cared for me, how he comforted me when no one else was able to. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, the hopeless thoughts of me wanting him to be better, me hoping for him to change.

_______

Luna didn't give me one single moment alone during these days. She stayed put by my side from dusk till dawn, waiting for me after the classes we didn't have together, walking me to the next — she even skipped classes at times to be with me in the course of my free periods.

Although this made her lover more than upset with both of us, that in her mind, we were reckless and didn't care about the education we needed — but with Hermione, being the strong-minded, stubborn girl she usually took portray to be, they agreed to take turns, practically guarding me against the blonde boy and his abilities to crawl beneath my skin,

After days of sleeping next to my two friends — I couldn't take it anymore. I finally convinced Luna to allow me to sleep in my own bed because if I had to go through one more night of Luna's snoring, her tossing and turning into me every two minutes or Hermione's freezing feet sneaking to warm themselves up onto my thighs, 

I would lose it.

I needed my own space, and even if I was more than grateful for their support and comfort — I wanted to be alone, to process everything that had passed by myself.

____________

I was strolling down to the great hall, meaning to join Luna and Hermione for dinner, but as soon as I rounded a corner — I stumbled back, slamming straight into a familiar chest. The grey eyes I had grown to loath stared directly through me, the lips I had cherished kissing, pushed into a firm line,

Eyes rolled at the brown-haired boy standing tall in front of me, arms crossed over his chest, '' Can't manage to stay away, can you?'' I mocked him, narrowing my eyes in his, '' What do you want, Cedric?''

His jaws clenched at my talks, not used to me snapping at him, but ever since I last saw him — how he treated me after our time together, he deserved nothing more than what I now granted him with,

'' I need to speak with you—,'' He muttered, a hand moving to brush through his hair, '' I know you might not want to—,''

'' Go ahead.''

Cedric's head slightly leaned in, as it always tended to do when he wanted to walk, his vocals scored low, for no one but me to hear, '' I—, I have to—,'' He rose, but quickly hushed again, the guilt climbed his temples as he dug to find the courage to speak his mind,

'' I need you to hear me out, to listen what to I have to say, and if you still want to hate me afterward, that's fine. But I want you to hear what I have to say,'' He sucked in a harsh breath at my nod, still with his eyes locked in mine, 

'' I'm sorry, June—,''

I shook my head the second I caught onto his words, not having any strength in doing this right now — the chatting noises of students strolling past us echoed loudly as my mind clouded by the acts of the Hufflepuff holding before me,

I shoed back, striving to walk away from him, to flee my way down the hall to my best friend I knew was waiting for me, '' Cedric. I can't do this right—,''

'' No, you don't understand,'' He urged through begging, making a face at my resistance, '' I need to say this,'' Diggory's hand flew to snatch my wrist, hauling me closer as I sought to walk away,

My eyes grew, my jaw dropped at the sudden touch he granted me with, my eyes snapping between his hand, firmly holding mine and the eyes glinting in a mixture of hurt and sorrow, '' Don't—,'' I yanked away, but to no use, he quickly tugged me back in — holding no respect at the fact that I didn't want him close, '' Cedric, let go of me, right now—,''

I forced my palms into his chest, doing everything possible to forge space between us, but the mind of the Hufflepuff was set — he needed to speak with me, with or without my consent.

The panic and anxiety of a certain Slytherin catching us, catching me speaking with Cerdic, flooded through my veins because I knew that if Draco heard about this, or nevertheless watched as Cedric refused to let me go,

He would lose his mind,

'' June — well, who do we have here—,'' The husky voice rose, but the second his eyes placed on the boy holding my arm in a rough grip, the soft, gentle look always soothing on his temples, flushed away, the tension grew as he shoed closer, '' Let go of her, right—,''

'' Walk me to dinner? Would you? Blaise?'' I broke the tension, seeking for Blaise to look at me, to break the evil stare he held in Cedric, '' Blaise, please?'' The brown eyes flickered to mine, swallowing thickly before he shot me a slight nod, agreeing to leave this humiliating situation,

'' What the fuck—,'' His furious growl came from behind, making my eyes roll to match Blaise's, '' You fucking half-blood,'' - and without faltering, Cedric dropped my arm, while turning to face the shouting blonde-boy behind us fully,

Draco's long strides clicked thoroughly within the halls, pushing the startled Hufflepull back from me, '' What did I tell you, Diggory?'' Draco spat at him, teeth gritted as he forced himself in front of me, '' Do you have a deathwish?''

'' Do you?'' Cedric bites back, stepping closer to Draco's visibly fuming figure, '' What in the bloody hell is your problem, Malfoy?'' The air thickened around us as I felt more than responsible for the chaos swirling around us. I always tended to blame myself in these situations, even if nothing I did could ease the blonde one's temper,

'' My problem?'' Draco hissed, chuckling darkly to taunt the boy, '' My problem is that you can't keep your filthy hands to yourself — I told you to stay away from her because you're nothing more than a halfwit, but even then, you fucking slapped her,'' - pure venom dripped off his tongue at his tells, eyes locked in Cedric's grey one's,

I felt Draco's temper failing him completely, his hands curled into fists, the veins coating his skin almost popping out, '' Draco, please—,'' I sought to plead him, stepping between the two bickering boys, the minty breaths tasted sweet on my lips as I leaned closer to Draco, doing everything possible to take his attention off Cedric, to calm him down,

For a slight second — Draco's eyes snapped to mine, brows furrowed as two, freezing hands snaked around my waist, pulling me away from him, '' Stay out of this,'' He mumbled, before yet again, facing Cedric.

The brown-haired boy stared at Draco's gesture, hurt flashed through his numb eyes, '' Are you really the one to talk, Malfoy?'' He scoffed, narrowing grey eyes, '' As I remember it — didn't you choke her?'' - by those words, I felt the air tighten in my lungs, the tension increased as I looked at Blaise, his jaw dropped at the last comment made, both of us shaking our heads,

Draco bit his lower lip, huffing amusingly as he took another step closer, '' I did, but do you know what I did before that?'' He smirked, coldly, standing his ground, '' I made her cum, while you were fucking—,''

'' Shut up, right now, Malfoy. Shut that filthy—,'' Cedric rose as he forced his curved fists into Draco's chest, pushing him back, daring the blonde one even further, '' You don't know anything, so stop acting as if you do,'' I could tell by the breaking voice, that Cedric was more than hurt over his — that he regretted everything passing between us. 

Still, doing what he just did, by shoving Draco, laying his hands on the boy who had the reputation of losing his temper at the slightest thing, he made everything worse, '' What don't I know, Diggory? That you're less of a man than all of believed you to be?'' He snickered, drawing his ring-covered fingers through his hair, '' That you can't get over a girl you slept with—,''

'' She's not just a girl, Malfoy — I loved her,''

My eyes grew wide, breaths hitched at the talks he nearly shouted, making the students walking past us snap their heads to get a small glimpse of what's occurring, '' I loved her, alright? But she didn't want me.'' I swallowed thickly as I felt the anxiety triggering within,

'' She broke my heart,''

Lie.

I didn't. I didn't mean to do what he accused me of. I wasn't ready to love anyone when he wanted me, and when I felt ready — when I believed that I was, he was the one who had moved on.

Cedric cleared his throat, scratching along his jawline before shooting me a guilty glare, '' So I had to break hers,''

No.

No, no, no.

He did that on purpose,

He led me on,

He fucked me,

And then he left me,

All on purpose,

All because I wasn't ready to love him back,

I gulped, almost choking on my own spit as I stood petrified, sensing Draco's stare burning at me, more than furious at what Cedric admitted — the mixture of jealousy and spite filled the space between us as he broke the silence, '' Well, isn't that unfortunate—,''

'' That's enough,'' All three heads snapped to mine, shaken to my yelling — but I had to. If this went on any longer, someone was more than doomed to get hurt, '' Both of you are acting like complete fools,'' I quieted down, feeling Draco's eyes seeking to match mine,

'' What did you call me?'' Draco spat, turning fully to face me, '' Answer me—,'' He endangered, taking a booth closer, the former amused, devilish look on his temples faded into a raging one,

I shoed back, feeling my back colliding with the wall behind me as I sucked in a harsh breath, knowing that what I'm about to do, is something I'll live to regret later, '' I said, that you're acting like a fool, Draco.'' 

His jaws clenched at my words, nostrils flaring in anger, and before I even had a chance to wrap my head around what he was doing, his hand flew to my neck, cold fingers dug deeply as he pinned me against the wall.

I knew I shouldn't, but by that touch, even if it lived to be a rough violent one — his skin felt fluttering on mine, '' Really, Malfoy? Choking me, again?'' I tried to dare him, challenge him for once — he rose a brow at my demeanor, letting out a peel of dark laughter, '' Why? Did you miss it? Whore—,''

Whore.

He called me a whore, when he knew how that word made me feel the last time someone used it against me. He knew, and he still said it.

My heart lightly dropped, insides twisted as I felt sick, nauseous, disbelief pushed through my veins — out of all the words he had the record of calling me, of all the things he had spoken, he called me a whore.

Silence seized us; either Cedric or Blaise uttered a single word as Draco eyes stared intensely into mine, heated breaths tasted sweet on my lips,

I felt my eyes prickling, the lump in my throat growing as I sought to pry his hand away — not wanting anything to do with him anymore, '' I hate you,'' I whispered in a stutter, tearing my sights away, '' Let me go, Malfoy.'' My words struck a nerve because, for the first time, — he did as I asked. 

He pulled his touch away and stepped back, looking after me as I pushed myself off the wall, walking away from the three boys in utter silence.

I was done. I was more than done. I hated him. I hated Draco Malfoy more than anything, and this showed — that he hated me as well.

________

I wrapped a towel around my soaked self, still drained by the things that passed earlier, even in absolute disbelief of what happened. I didn't want to this anymore. I didn't want anything to do with anyone. I was done. I am done.

Draco is more than free to sleep with whomever he wishes, and I'm the whore?

Pathetic.

My fingers scored cold around the doorknob as I shoved my door open, only to cringe by the boy hunched down on my bed, his head buried in his palms, '' Leave, Draco—,'' I tried to warn, but as the stubborn boy he was, he didn't even look at me — he kept his head in his hands, huffing loudly,

'' Is it true?'' He questioned, raising his front to look at me, '' Did he love you?''

My face twisted in a confused grimace, my temper held on the far edge as I turned around, aiming to lock myself into my bathroom again — I didn't want to do this anymore. I had no strength left to fight him, '' Fine, then I'll go,''

The sound of his heels storming close echoed throughout my room before a hand gripped my upper arm, yanking me back to face him, '' You're not going anywhere—,'' He hissed, teeth gritted, 

'' I need to know, did you love him back?'' His vocals tore low yet threatening; he grew more than impatient with my resistance to answering his questions, his eyes pierced through mine, lips pushed into a firm line,

I sighed, giving in to the hold he knew he had of me, '' No. I didn't love him back,''

''Are you happy now? Now that I'm just as awful as you? Do you hate me even more now, Draco?'' I snapped, my temper failing me altogether, '' Are you proud of me now, that I finally admitted not to love a boy who clearly loved me?''

The blonde one's eyes broad, breaths ragged as his chest moved roughly, biting his lower lip in hesitation before forcing me back from him — his hands tugged his hair back as he paced back and forth in front of me, '' I don't fucking hate you. That's the problem,'' He finally admitted, annoyingly shaking his head at me, 

'' Don't you fucking understand that?''

I stood breathless, confused, startled — in the loss of words as he kept going, '' I don't know what I'm doing, June — I don't have any fucking clue to what I'm supposed to do with you, to what I feel...I don't—,'' He held, frustratingly hauling at his tie,

'' You don't know what you want?'' I hissed, nearly mocking him, '' But do you know what I want, Draco?'' I chewed on my bottom lip, his eyes flickered to please mine, 

'' I want nothing to do with you, and do you know why?''

'' I hate you, Malfoy. That's why,'' 

With no time wasted, he pushed his palms into my chest, causing me to collide with the wall behind me — Draco pressed his body onto mine, hands slipping around my clothed waist to keep me in place, tilting his head to look straight through me, but not a word is spoken. 

The blue eyes darted between my eyes and lips; his chest heaved heavily against mine as I studied him, letting my sights flickering over every inch of his features, the corner of his mouth twitched, his fingers dug deeper into my flesh. He was so close, nearly breathing the same air as the tension grew,

I want him. Having him this close, looking over every strand of blond hair falling perfectly over his forehead, seeing how the dark eyelashes are framing his eyes in the most fascinating ways, the things his scent does to me.

I couldn't resist him, even if I tried.

It was time to stop lying to myself.

I wanted him.

My hands pushed into his chest, creating a small longing space between us, noticing him rolling his tongue inside his cheek, '' You don't know what you want, Draco?'' I spoke sweetly, sucking my lower lip in between my teeth, earing a look shredding in desire and spite to study my every move — his hands shoved in his pockets, eyes pleading mine as I slowly reached for the ends of my towel,

I need him.

Even though I hated him,

The need for him was graver, 

His eyes burning, his skin flushing as I dropped my towel to the floor — standing entirely exposed in front of the blonde boy,

'' Is this what you want, Draco?''

'' Do you want me?''


	12. E l e v e n,

Mature content ahead.

_________

" Is this what you want?"

His eyes flickered all over my exposed body, breathing in every detail and every flaw possible before they snapped up to satisfy mine again, '' Is this what you want, Draco?''

'' Do you want me?''

He stood as frozen, not moving a muscle, '' Fucking perfect,'' He breathed out, before taking long, dangerous strides up to me, '' Absolutely perfect,'' He whispered again, underneath his breath. The tall body in front of mine pushed us both back, making my back slamming into the wall, and the blonde-boy wasted no time, his hands moved wild, exploring every inch of my bare skin with his cold fingers — paths of goosebumps shivered down my back as he went, '' I changed my mind—,''

My eyes locked in his, the minty breath tasted sweet on my lips as he held close, noses brushing against each other, '' I do fucking hate you,''

Draco's words caused the longing feeling between my legs to ache, to starve for his touch. His head dipped down, his lips roughly tasting the tender skin of my neck, kissing, sucking, biting his way down my chest, my fingers tangled into his hair, tugging the blonde strands of hair back, '' Good because I hate you more—,''

I did. I hated Draco Malfoy more than anyone else.

I felt him smirking at my words, his fingers moving down to pinch at my thighs, wanting me to jump onto him — and I do, without faltering.

He let me down on the top of my bed as he backed away, raising a brow at the truth in front of him, that I'm laying, wholly exposed for him to do whatever he pleases, '' Draco—,'' I breather out,

I was starving, hungry, eager for his touch. I wanted him, and I was more than impatient for the touch he brought, '' Draco, please—,''

'' What is it?'' He grinned, slowly licking his lips at the sight of me, '' Needy girl,''

A jolt of electricity shot throughout my nerves, my body almost flinching at the feeling as I clocked my eyes in his, '' Touch me,'' I sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth, knowing it would provoke him,

'' You want me to touch you?'' He mocked, slowly unbuttoning his shirt — my eyes grew wide with each button, the slow, gentle pace caused my breath to hitch, my hues fluttering down to watch the pale, porcelain skin,

'' Answer me,'' He charged, flinging his shirt to the floor as he towered over me — the toned muscles flexed against mine, '' I need words, June. I need you to —,''

'' I want you to touch me, Draco,''

His lips inches away from mine as he pulled away, hands gripped my thighs before placing them over his shoulders,

The touch of his cold fingers digging coarsely into my warm flesh soaked me wet,

He kneels back, stroking his nose over my body as he goes — the touch he brought, the eager, hungry touch affected me too much,

With his head right in between my thighs, he lets out a peel of dark laughter, '' I have you right where you're supposed to be, don't I? Needy girl.''

My back arched in pleasure the instant his lips kissed my inner thighs, teeth scratching my sensitive skin, '' So fucking perfect,'' Draco groaned, blue eyes bored through mine as his freezing hands shoved underneath the gap between my mattress and lower back, dragging me closer to the edge of my bed, — giving himself all of me, every inch of me is now, at this moment, his.

'' And so fucking wet,'' He hummed, leaving a kiss on my stomach, my fingers grasped at my covers, clenching hard around the soft fabric, '' You're only this wet for me, right?''

The demanding vocals made me wince, my toes curling as he lets his tongue out, slowly trailing it over my skin, over my chest, up my neck all the way to the sensitive spot behind my ear, breathing hard in it, '' Right?'' He snapped again, '' You only taste this good for me?''

I felt my legs squeezing together, my head nodding at this question as my hair spilled out over the sheets, '' Such a good girl, for me,'' He smirked, nibbling on my ear before finding his way down my neck, leaving small, purple marks,

I'm his now,

This was his way of showing me that no other by could ever touch me in the way he did,

That his touch was the one I shook violently for,

The one my body trembled beneath,

The one my skin melted for,

And I did. I craved him, in more way I even believed to be possible,

I wanted him in ways I never wanted anyone before,

Draco's hand traveled up to my throat, fingers gripping around it as the other hand sought to find mine, braiding our mixture of cold and warm fingers together, pinning them over my head,

I was lost in the pleasure, and he hadn't even touched me in the way I starved for — all I knew was that I needed him, the boy I hated, the boy who hated me, even more, was the boy I craved to the fullest,

The minty breaths bolting his lips turned hot, heavy — he needed me, he wanted me perhaps more than I wanted him, his touch turned rougher, more impatient, '' I need to feel you, now,'' He sighed, catching his breath as he once again kneeled back, '' Now—,''

My mind wandered as his fingers seized the buckle of his belt, tugging it open — the thoughts of him inside me, filling me up,

'' Cedri—,'' I moaned,

And the second I did, the instant I realized what I just had spoken — I suffered my breath,

The jolts of electricity pounding throughout my veins turned numb,

Fuck.

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling his nails digging coarsely into my skin, ''What the fuck did you just say?'' He growled, inches away from my shocked features, '' Look at me,''

But I refused to, too startled, too scared of his temper to flay my eyes wide, '' I said — look at me, you pathetic whore,''

I was dead. I knew that because if this — I was doomed to him,

I peeled my eyes broad, feeling the raging breaths fanning my cheeks as he narrowed furious eyes in mine, '' I asked what the fuck you called me,''

I shook my head at his gritted teeth, the pure venom dripping off his tongue at his talks, '' Draco—,''

The cold hand burst around my throat, his fingers clenched to hurt me as I whimpered at the brutal touch, '' You're nothing more than a desperate, filthy mudblood,'' He spat at the panicking look of me before forcing himself off, grabbing his shirt off the floor and just as he was meant to slam the door shut — he turned in his marching, sending me the most deathliest of stares, '' Remember that—,''

I crawled back in my sheets, my heart broke as I came to mind of what I just had done,

He was gone, and the little piece of Draco Malfoy I was granted — I would never have again.

_________

I buried my hand in my palms as I caught his severe step storming into the library, avoiding every stare I felt burning into my skin — even if two days had passed since the night I was more than foolish,

I still couldn't find any strength in looking at him,

How would I ever face him after what I did,

The humiliation of what happened chewed my bones as I noticed how he was staying clear of me. He didn't mock me for what happened, Draco didn't tell his friends, he simply stayed away, and the feeling that what I did, the sense of me saying someone else names in the situation I did, made me think that I hurt him, more than he would ever let on,

The books slamming onto the table made me jolt back, '' Hello ladies—,'' Luna smiled, standing gracious in front of me, meeting the exhausted look on my face. My looks made her giggle, rolling her eyes as she slipped down to the seat next to mine, '' Or not—,'' She mocked my dense behavior,

My head dipped down to my book, rolling my eyes at her, feeling her hand gently stroking over my bent back, '' Are you still upset about you know—,'' Her vocals hushed as she leaned closer, '' Malfoy,''

'' Because that was days ago, June—, you need to...''

'' Luna—,'' I snapped, my eyes bored through hers, '' Learn when to shut it, please—,'' My tells earned a laugh to flee Hermione's lips, her hand slapped over her mouth to muffle it, cheeks colored in red,

'' I will,'' She smiled, cheekily, shouldering me to the side, '' When you learn how to behave. What happened to your manners anyway—,''

'' Well, well, well —, what's so funny over here?'' The irritating, high pitch voice came from behind, causing both Luna's and Hermione's amused looks to fall into an annoyed one, '' You can hear that little laugh of yours from miles away—,''

Luna spun around in her seat, glaring the brown-haired girl down as she walked closer, '' What now, Pansy?'' Luna scoffed, raising a brow,

'' I asked — what's so funny over here, looney—,''

My palms slammed into the table as I flung around, facing the mean girl, '' What did you call her?''

'' She speaks,'' His voice tore my entire existence, shredding every bone caving. My eyes flickered to please him as he stormed closer with an evil smirk plastered to his lips,

I couldn't do this.

I couldn't face him, not after what I did.

I grabbed my book, forcing my chair back as I was about to leave, feeling the warm, little hand that always brought me comfort wrapping around my wrist, '' Please don't go,'' Luna uttered, knowing that this was more than I could handle yet she wanted me too.

She always wanted me to face the fears in my life. She wished for me to stand my ground to not bend my ways in the wish for others,

'' Yes, June — please don't leave,'' He taunted me through sarcasm, halting only a foot away, '' We don't want our precious little princess to flee, right?'' His head turned to Pansy's, provoking a laugh to leave her lips,

I hated him. I hated him for doing this when she was here.

I tried to ignore him, to walk away from the scene I felt more than ashamed to be in, only waiting for his next move, '' I'll see you later, Luna—,'' I forced a smile, my eyes snapping to Hermione's to give her the same solace,

'' I heard you had a fun time the other day, isn't that right, June?'' Pansy laughed, patting my back — I bolted around, staring the girl down, in complete disbelief to what she said, '' I didn't know that Cedric had it in him, to finally put you in place—,''

A gasp shakingly escaped my throat — This wasn't about Draco and me.

He didn't tell her, even if I thought that he did,

My mind swirled in question as I looked at him, meeting the blue eyes that always captured me before I eyed her down again; the blood rushing throughout my veins boiled at her mocking as I felt even more triggered at Draco's snickering behind her,

With a thick swallow, my books clenched to my chest, '' If you thought that was funny, why don't you ask your boyfriend what he did the other night instead?'' A shy smiled climbed my lips, and even if I spoke to Pansy, my eyes narrowed in Draco's, '' Or shouldn't—,''

His temper failed him as he pushed me back, my spine collided heavily with the table behind me, '' Shut your filthy mouth, right now,'' He cautions, teeth gritted,

I gawked at him, feeling the heated breath flaring — but he didn't say anything else, he merely pierced his eyes through mine, trying to find some truth in all the unknown, but I couldn't.

I refused too.

My strides past him, cut short by his hand forcing me back, '' Where the fuck—,'' He rose, sounding more than angry at my tries to walk away, his head shaking, making the blonde strands of hair fall over his temples, '' On your way to strip naked for someone else, perhaps?''

I shut my eyes closed, trying to breathe through the tears I felt urging. The color drained off my face, my heart slightly breaking within my own chest,

He can't do this.

I can't keep letting him do this to me.

My eyes flayed wide, the salty liquid glinting, '' So what if I am?'' I raised a brow, '' Don't tell me you're jealous, Malfoy?''

His hand flew to my cheek, icing rings scratching into my skin, '' Don't—,'' He sought to warn, but to no use — He made it clear that he didn't want me, even if everything he did, told me differently and the intrigued mind I lived to have,

I had to know.

Once and for all,

My sights grounded in his hold, whispering the words I was terrified off, '' Tell me not to, Draco,'' - only for him to hear, still feeling the curious stares around us. Still, nothing mattered, no matter how much he'd hurt me, if he chose the right words, if he decided to be honest and speak the mind, I knew he held for me. I would forgive everything, without question.

Draco's body pressed against mine before he shoed back, the cold surface fell into a soft, guilty one, '' I had you, but gladly — I walked away,''

My heart broke.

My breaths stuck in my throat as I nodded, pushing myself off the table,

I knew that what I was about to say, that the words leaving my lips would hurt him, but I had to do it,

Because he didn't want me — I turned in my steps, walking out of the library, smirking devilishly through my pain,

'' Then I will tell Cedric that you said hi—,''


	13. T w e l v e ,

I hurried my way out of the library, and I couldn't possibly rush any faster than I already did. I avoided every stare, every student that tried to greet me as I stormed by,

I couldn't think clearly.

The blonde-haired Slytherin clouded my mind, and nothing else made sense.

My steps echoed heavily as I walked over the courtyard's stone-covered ground, stumbling to the bridge, leaning over the edge of the railing, the darkened woods, the chilly breeze soring against my cheeks caught my attention for a split second, and everything that held heavy across my heart stunned in relief,

I hated him.

I hated him so much for having the hold of me we both knew he had.

I hated him for making me feel, only to rip my heart out of my chest,

I hated him for causing me to want him, to need him.

I never needed anyone before, except for my mother and my best friends, but right now — I couldn't be with her either, and I missed her, so much — more than words could ever come to describe,

No words could define the loss I held at this moment, the hurt of not being able to be with my mother, the need of the boy my heart ached for,

I felt my insides twist; the sickening feeling scored my senses as I tried to focus on the night — many people would fear the eclipse, but not me. I never minded the darkness, the untold, the not recognizable, and it was more than likely something I had inherited from my father,

The fearless senses, the intriguing feeling of always wanting to know the things you shouldn't — except for grief and loss. Those lived to be my greatest fears,

'' Are you bloody mad?'' His voice shredded the peace I felt lost in, his footsteps clinked loudly, '' What the fuck are you doing out here—,''

My eyes rolled at his words as I gripped the stone tighter, '' Go away, Malfoy,'' I whispered, not knowing if he even heard the spoken words,

The cold hands gripped roughly around my arms, striving to turn me around, '' I said — What are you doing out here?'' The fingers digging into my flesh made me dizzy; the touch he brought, even if it was meant to be a cruel one, affected me more than anything,

The blue eyes bored through mine, the strokes of moonlight lightened the pale skin, '' And I told you to leave, Draco—,''

His head snapped to the side, brows furrowed, '' Are you going to see Cedric?''

'' Because if you do, I swear to god that I will kill that little—,'' He arose, but the startled look on my face shut him up, he hushed, jaws clenched into sharp lines, '' Answer me, are you going to—,''

'' No,''

'' No what?'' Draco spat, the temper failing him terrified me, '' And don't you dare lie to me—,''

'' Why do you even care, Draco?'' I snapped, pushing the blonde-boy back, '' Why do you care about who I see and not? You made it more than clear that you didn't want me,''

I couldn't take it anymore, the constant battle in my mind, hoping that he one day would wake up and realize what's standing right in front of him, and the truth of him never doing so,

Silence,

My tells left him speechless, numb to a point where he didn't even fight back, '' For a Ravenclaw, you're more than stupid at times,'' He growled, rushing a ring-coated hand through his hair, '' Leave. I don't want you out here at this hour,''

My face turned in grimace, staring confused at his sudden change of demeanor, '' Draco, you can't just—,''

'' I said, fucking leave,''

And without thinking — I did as he demanded,

I walked away. Leaving him alone in the darkness.

________

Days slowly passed without Draco speaking one single word to me since the night in out in the courtyard, but perhaps that's for the better, us not even looking in each other direction,

It eased my mind, not fretting his temper to cause me more pain.

Because it did,

Everything he did to me has caused me such great pain.

But the letter Narcissa granted me allowed me to breathe through the hurt; she penned that she kept in touch with my mother, that she could not write me herself due to my father and the evil search of her, but she wrote me her words — that when all of this was over, we would never be apart again, and even if that was plain torture at this time,

I intended to hold her to that promise,

Narcissa made me swear never to tell her son about my mother since the loyalty he kept for his father was graver than all of us. Draco trusted his father more than anyone, and ever since Luna told me that her father caught whispers about my father looking for me, no one in my mind could ever be trusted.

_________

'' You're doing it again,'' Blaise chuckled, making me wince by the surprising words. My eyes snapped to his, giving him an annoyed look before looking out over the lake again, '' Oh, is this how it's going to be?''

'' What?'' I huffed, my knees pushed up to my chest, '' What am I doing?''

His shoulder scored against mine, nudging me away, '' This is exactly my point, you see—,'' He smirked, white teeth showing in a cheeky smile, '' You're not here, or — you are,'' He held, his fingers brushing over his head, scratching it after, '' But you're not, does that make sense?''

I felt more than bad. My mind wandered a lot these days, even if I wished it not too and falling lost in my thoughts wasn't a rare thing anymore,

I forced a smile, peering up at the gentle boy next to me, '' No—, I'm sorry. I just...''

'' I have so much homework to do—,'' I lied, even if every bone in my body caved for me not to — I did. Because he deserved so much better than the painful truth of reality, '' I'm sorry. I'll try to do better—,''

'' Don't say that,'' He spoke, tilting his head to look at me, '' If a lot is going on, I'm here for you. You know that, right?''

I nodded, stray strands of hair fell over my shoulders as he smiled at it, softly tucking it back behind my ear, '' So can you, you know?''

'' I know,'' He hushed, the brown eyes glinted in guilt as he shook his head — his mind fought between right and wrong, '' I do... I do need to tell you something,''

'' What?'' I nearly whispered, my head dipping to rest on his shoulder, '' What does Blaise Zabini have to tell me this time?''

Moments of silence passed as he hesitatingly held his breath, kindly brushing his cheek against my head, '' Mr. Malfoy came to see us earlier today, and he asked if you—,''

'' He did what?''

My body jolted up from the grass, standing tall in my shoes in front of him, '' Tell me what he asked,'' I urged, in need to know why — to understand if this was another attempt for him to find out more about my mother.

'' He wanted to speak with you, but Draco refused to let him see you. He said that you—,''

''Where is Draco now?'' I spat, feeling my temper flooding through every vein — he always did this. Draco still took my decisions from me and turned them into his. Not once am I allowed to decide something for myself when the blonde one is involved,

Blaise's face frowned in skepticism, eyes gazed to our homework laying on the ground, '' But you were supposed to help me with—,''

'' I'll find you later, just—,'' My chest closed in as the air in my lungs tightened, '' Just tell me where he is,''

His hues rolled in annoyance, releasing a sigh before he nodded against the castle, '' He's in our common—,''

But before he even had the chance to finish his sentence, I stormed off.

_________

With sharp heels, I rushed my way through the dungeons, making my way to his common room,

I was furious.

No,

More than it,

He had no right to speak for me, to lie on my behalf without me even knowing about it,

This had to be about my mother, and I knew that Lucius had information about her that I needed, that his wife needed, yet Draco once again took that away from me,

My body shook in fury as I forced the doors open, causing every student in the common room to snap their head to mine, staring at me in dubiety as my eyes searched the room, clocking the blonde boy resting on the couch with a girl plastered to his side,

With a harsh swallow, I stepped down the stairs — glaring every student and their curiosity down, '' Everyone out, right now,''

And without question, the students served me. That's simply the only thing I held dearly with the name Riddle — every student in Slytherin always did as I asked, more scared of my father than of me,

Draco stood tall from his seat, his eyes watching me as I booted closer, my palms struck his chest, ramming him into the wall, '' What the—,''

'' Fuck?'' I finished for him, my teeth gritted as I once again forced my fists into the toned chest, '' That's what I'm asking you, Draco—,''

'' What the fuck are you playing at?''

My words made Pansy let out a devilish giggle behind me. I locked my eyes in hers, turning around to face the provoking look on her face, '' I told you to leave,'' - but she simply rolled her eyes away from mine, staring directly back at Draco,

'' Sit down again, Draco. She's not worth—,''

I shoed closer to her, my hands gripped the collar of her robe as I forced her up from her seated position, '' I. said. leave.'' I watched as her eyes flashed in fear, her lower lip slightly quivering,

Draco cleared his throat behind me, two cold hands wrapped around my waist to pull me away from her, '' Leave, pansy.'' He growled, feeling the minty breaths fanning my shoulder as I stared at her,

And she did. She obeyed him in a heartbeat, my hands off her as she sprinted out of the common room, leaving me alone with the boy who triggered my temper,

I felt his fingers tensing around my waist, almost as he pulled me closer, '' Draco—,'' I breathed out, struggling out of his grip, '' Why would you do that?'' My eyes narrowed in his, '' Why would you tell your father that I—,''

'' What?'' He spat, his face shifted in stone, the crease in his forehead faded as the vein popped out, '' What did you say?''

'' Your father was here, and you told him—,''

'' And who told you this? My mother?''

My brows furrowed, my mind swirled in question, '' Why would your mother—,''

'' Then who?''

My arms crossed over my chest as I stayed silent, refusing to betray my friend, '' June, I swear to—,'' He snarled, '' Oh. Blaise?'' He slowly shook his head, a scoff left his lips as he scratched his hand over the sharp jawline,

'' He's dead,''

Draco pushed past me, storming off towards the entrance — my fingers rushed through my hair, tugging it back in defeat, the panic flushing through my vessels drowned me. He can't do this. He's in his wrong mind, not me, not Blaise, him.

'' Don't you dare walk away from me, Malfoy,''

He halted in his steps, the suit jacket stretched around his shoulder as he cracked his neck, '' What was that?'' He turned to face me, '' Don't I dare?'' He mocked,

I felt my bravery failing me, slowly stepping back as he stepped closer, '' And what are you going to do about it? Slap me again?'' The corner of his lips twitched, upper lip curling into an amused smirk, '' Please, enlighten me. What are you—,''

My sights dropped to the stone-covered floor, arms fell to my sides as I was utterly pitched underneath his trance, '' I hate you,'' I whimpered to myself, '' I hate you so much,''

An iced hand reached under my chin, fingers bending my head up to match his evil stare, '' What was that?'' He taunted me, provoked by the disgusted look shattering my temples, '' You hate me?''

'' I do—,''

The blue eyes rolled, his head slowly nodding, '' Then it's a good thing that I hate you too,''

I sucked in a thick breath, chewing my bottom lip as I prepared myself to argue my cause — to confront him with all the cruelty he always used on me, but before I knew the word of it, the instant my lips parted to speak,

His lips crashed into mine,


	14. T h i r t e e n ,

MATURE CONTENT AHEAD.

_______

His lips crashed into mine.

All I wanted to do was to pry him away. I didn't want his lips kissing mine, his hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer by the inch,

I hated him.

But my body failed me,

The feeling of him, close to me, his body pressed against mine, scored everything else out of my mind — my arms clung around his neck, tugging him entirely into me. The kiss was rough, his tongue battled mine,

His scent, that scent caused my knees to grow weak, every time,

The smirk curling up on his lips made me tear away, eyes leveling his as he breathed heavily, '' Such a needy girl, aren't you—,'' He bit his lower lip, rolling his tongue over it after,

His hands moved down to my thighs, burying his head in my neck as he picked me up, gently placing me on the table as I forced my lips against his again; my fingers dug into his arms, pulling him over me,

Draco strived in between my legs, hands placed on each side of me as he kissed me back, '' I want to feel you,'' He groaned into my parted lips. The words leaving his lips, the husky, low tone caused my core to clench, the tension grew as he hauled back — staring at me as lust thickened the air around us, '' May I?'' He grinned, nodding towards my skirt,

My lower lip sucked in, my teeth chewing at is as I hummed, '' Yes,''

He leaned in, my neck arched to give him all of me, to let him trail hot, wet kisses down my neck, his hand dipped down in between us, toying with my underwear — the soaked fabric earned a grunt from him as he looked at me, '' So fucking wet for me,'' He mumbled, the tip of his finger slightly brushed against my clit, and only that little touch made my back arch, my eyes fluttering close,

'' Don't—,'' He endangered, '' I want you to look at me,''

My hues flayed wide, meeting the blue eyes as his thumb started moving in circles over my clit, '' I want you to watch me while I make you feel so good,

'' I thought you hated me,'' My words snapped his head up, the blonde strands of hair slightly messy over his forehead,

'' I do. I hate you,'' He breathed, a finger teasing my entrance, '' But can't I do this—,'' Draco thrust his touch inside me, making me gasp at the sudden move, my head fell to his shoulder, '' And still hate you?''

I knew he loved this.

I knew that he loved his hold of me, that he could speak those words while thrusting his fingers inside of me, that he had the nerves to wanting me yet still hate me,

But I didn't care, not anymore.

My head is thrown back in pleasure, the overwhelming feeling of his thumb rubbing over my bundle as he quickened his fingers speed — trails of muffled moans bolts off my lips as I tried to hush it, my hand covering my mouth as my other hand is clenching around the table, my nails boring into the worn wood,

'' Draco, I'm close—,'' I heaved, trying to keep my eyes open to look at him, just as he demanded me too — the feeling of his fingers roughly pounding in and out of me, in a mixture with his eyes intensely studying me as I trembled in his grip, almost caused the coil in my core to drop,

'' No—,'' He smirked, slowing down his speed, '' You won't cum until I tell you to do so, am I clear?''

I nodded, quickly, my eyes lightly rolling back as I tried to hide it, '' Please, Draco—,'' I begged, he kept me on the utter edge,

'' I need you to promise me something before I let you cum, can you do that?''

I nodded again, sucking in a harsh breath as he kept going, his fingers pumping, '' I want you to promise, never to cum for anyone else after this,''

'' I am the only one you can let yourself go off, understood?''

I nodded once more, not even paying attention to what he spoke — my entire self shook, my legs wanting to squeeze shut as I was close,

So close,

Too close,

'' Such needy girl,'' He mocked, his hand kept forcing in and out, pounding harder with each thrust, '' And only for me, right?''

'' Only for you, Draco—,'' I whimpered, my back arched as my hips bucked into his hand,

I need the release.

I needed to let go,

'' Then cum for me,'' He mumbled as he mounted over me, his nose brushed against mine, '' Let go for me, right now,''

And I did,

My body shook violently as I suffered my breath in absolute euphoria,

Every inch of me broke in pure pleasure, hitting my high as he watched,

My eyes still locked in his as he slowly pulled his fingers out, '' Good, good, girl, soaking my fingers,'' He stretched his fingers up to his mouth, gently sucking the taste of me off them,

I felt my spine colliding with the furniture, my chest heavy as I tried to gather myself, and the realization of reality hit me, like a train at high speed,

What have I done?

Jolts of electricity shoot throughout my body as I forced myself off the table in attempts to stand straight on my shaky legs,

I glared over at him, his back leaning against the wall as he waited for me to collect myself,

But I can't do this,

This isn't me,

I can feel this way for the blonde boy I hated,

I panicked, my hands brushing my skirt down as I shoed back,

'' I—,'' I stuttered, nervously brushing my fingers through my hair, '' I need to—,''

'' What?'' He snapped, taking long strides up to me, '' Where are you—,''

'' Blaise—,'' I lied, needing an explanation to leave, '' I promised Blaise that I would—,''

His dense, confused look fell into a raging one, jaws clenched together as he yanked me away, '' Then fucking leave—,''

He tore around, marching up the stairs to his dorm, leaving me alone in his common room,

I didn't want to do this,

But I had too,

Because if I stayed,

I wouldn't be able to leave,

_________

My back rested against the chilly wall outside the great hall, reading a book Professor McGonagall gifted me with, and ever since she did — neither Blaise nor I had the strength to stop reading it, '' Wait, you're going too fast,'' He mumbled, his fingers stretched over my shoulder to turn the sheet of paper back, '' There you go—,'' I peered over to look at him as his eyes rushed over the paper,

His eyes suddenly snapped to mine, slightly nodding for me to keep going, '' Go ahead,'' He smirked at my rolling eyes,

'' You really are a—,''

'' A what?'' He bites back, hir upper lip curling into a cheeky smile as he pushed his chest closer to my back, letting his chin rest on my shoulder,

He huffed at my silence, '' That's what I thought—,''

'' Now turn over, I want to know what is happening after the girl and the boy—,''

'' Excuse me, miss—,''

Both Blaise and I jumped apart at the low voice, spinning around to face the boy speaking, '' Is this boy bothering you?''

My eyes matched his green ones — the exciting shift in his features spread wide as my eyes flickered to Blaise's, waiting for him to introduce the boy holding in front of us,

Blaise shyly shook his head, '' Hilarious as always, Adrain,'' The annoyance in his vocals twirled into a scoff, '' What are you doing—,''

'' Don't be rude, Zabini,'' Adrian hewed him off, the corners of his mouth twitched, his eyes narrowed, '' I think instruction is in order, don't you?''

Blaise shrugged, turning to me, '' This is June, she's a—,''

'' A Riddle?'' Adrian cut him off once more, taking a boot closer, '' Interesting,''

My eyes scrunched together at his words, the blood pumping through my veins fumed,

'' And the heir of Ravenclaw, isn't that right?''

With a swallow, I sharply nodded, '' I am,''

Blaise's hand moved to my lower back, gently stroking it as he chatted with his friend,

I knew about Adrian since before. He was a friend of Draco's and a well known Slytherin, yet not to me. I had never spoken with him before, our paths had never crossed, and the reality of him wanting to talk with me now scored suspiciously inside,

'' I have a question for you, June—,'' Adrian clocked me out of my thoughts, peering up to look at him; his shoulder firmly rested against the wall, slightly towering over me, but before he had the chance to speak his mind,

The blonde boy stormed up, pushing Adrian's arm off the wall, pushing himself in between us, '' Malfoy,'' Adrian greets him through spite,

I didn't dare to look at Draco, to meet the raging stare I felt burning through me. I was more than ashamed of what we did yesterday, and what I did after, walking out in him,

'' So how did it go with Pansy last night?''

No.

No. No. No.

He wouldn't do that,

I caught Draco's breaths ragged, his hands shoved in his pockets as he ignored Adrian's question, sending me the guiltiest of looks,

I shook my head, my hand shakingly tucking a curl behind my ear as I swallowed the sinking feeling, '' You had a question for me, Adrian?'' I broke the silence, my eyes flying up to please his, 

'' I have—,'' He smiled, his fingers rushing through his brown hair, '' I wanted to ask you if you would meet me after practice tomorrow?''

My nerves rushed in excitement as Draco snapped his head to Adrian, nearly visibly shaking in anger, '' I would love to—,''

'' She's busy,'' Draco spat, jaws clenched, '' Isn't that right?'' I finally met his stare, my bottom lip sucked in between my teeth as I hesitated — the fighting I knew would come of this wasn't worth it. I prized that, but he was with Pansy last night.

After being with me,

'' I'm not—,'' I rose my head, politely smiling at Adrian, '' I would love to meet you tomorrow,''

I turned to Blaise, facing his startled self before I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him close, '' I'll see you later then?'' I whispered into his shoulder before stepping back,

'' You will—,''

And without another word — I walked away from all of them, almost running into the nearest bathroom, locking myself inside as I bent over the sink, desperately staring at my own reflection,

All I could think of was him,

Draco,

The vile, heartless boy I hated, yet I couldn't get him out of my mind,

The way his eyes studied me,

The way he was protective of me,

The way he touched me,

The way his lips kissed mine,

Him.

Him.

Him.

All of him.

I flinched back, my head rose to meet the blue eyes as he forced the door open, slamming it shut behind him,

He strode up to me, frustratingly pushing me into the sink — his face inches from mine, noses brushing against each other,

The way his chest heaved heavily, how his breaths fanned hot,

He was upset, no — he was more than it,

My lips parted to speak as he twitched his head, a cold hand gripped around my chin, bending my head back for a better view,

'' What the fuck are you playing at, Riddle?''


	15. F o u r t e e n ,

'' What the fuck are you playing at, Riddle?'' He growled out, his face inches away from mine, utterly furious to why I agreed to meet Adrian; his hold of my jaw tensed, '' You're not meeting Pucey tomorrow — I hope you know that,''

I gulped at his tells, staring intensely into the raging blue eyes, '' You don't get to decide—,''

'' Don't try me right now,'' He bites back, shutting me up completely, '' You're not seeing him, and that's the end of this—,''

My heart ached at the look of him, how numb, hollow he watched to be. I fluttered a huff, giving into his hold as I wrapped my hand around his, prying his fingers off my skin, '' Draco—,''

He shoed back, his hand held onto mine for a slight second before he withdrew from me altogether — a ring-coated hand sped through his hair, tugging it back as he started pacing, back and forth over the tile floor,

My veins iced as his steps echoed loudly, his ragged breaths filled the quietness, '' Talk to me,'' I tried to speak, but nothing,

He was trapped in his own temper, '' Talk to me, please — Draco,''

The instant he caught onto his name, dropping off my tongue, his head snapped to mine, '' What?''

'' What is the matter—,''

'' The matter?'' He mocked, mimicking my voice, '' My fucking problem is that I saw how he looked at you—,''

'' I'm not stupid. I knew exactly what that fool was thinking,'' Draco's words almost broke in shouting, arms thrown in the air before eyes narrowed in mine, '' He can't have you...'' Draco breathed, taking long strides back to me,

'' I can't let him have you,''

Jealousy filled the space between us as he closed it, his body tensed and coldly pressed against mine, '' Don't let him have you,''

The suit covered arms placed on each side of me, trapping me in his hold, '' Do you remember what I asked of you?'' The blonde one questioned, so close, my senses filled with the scent of mint and cologne, '' Do you remember what you promised me?''

I shook my head as an answer, nearly too startled of his behavior to do anything, to say something that might set him off completely — the tension grew as his nose brushed against mine, hues flicked between my eyes and lips,

He was handsome,

More than handsome, and I never really noticed,

The way his blonde strands of hair fell perfectly over his head, how the dark eyelashes made his eyes shimmer even more,

Draco cleared his throat, nearly hesitant to what he was about to speak, yet as the cold boy he lived to be, he did it without doubt, '' That I'm the only one who's allowed to make you cum,''

No,

No,

No,

It will always be this,

Whore,

He will always see me like a whore,

My face twisted in grimace, the twirls off blood flushing through my veins scored coldly, '' What did you just—,'' I hewed myself off, shoving past him,

'' You actually believe that I would sleep with him?'' My tone broke in disbelief, my heart ached, '' I didn't even sleep with you, Draco — why would I ever...'' My feet stumbled past the tile floor, distancing myself from him,

The blonde one shook his head, hands tugged at his hair, '' No, you don't fucking listen—,'' He growled, booting inches away, his fingers cupped my cheeks to drag my face closer to his, '' I didn't—, I didn't say that,''

My sights grounded, not wishing to look at him.

I didn't want to meet his eyes because every time I did — I fell lost in them; they held too much power over me,

'' I'm always going to be that to you, aren't I?''

He held shocked, startled, even if he knew what he said, he grasped the used words, and how much it hurt me to hear them,

I forced him back, my palms repeatedly pushed into his chest, my fingers curled into fists, hitting, shoving, pushing him back, '' You're unbelievable, Draco Malfoy,'' I breathed, my entire self trembled as I wanted him to fight back, to stop my doings, but he didn't,

He let me take all of the rage and frustration I kept hidden inside, out on him,

Draco knew that, if anything, he deserved this,

Tears prickled my eyes, my vision turned blurry as I dropped my hands, caving into my own mess, '' That's the way you'll always see me like, right?''

'' A whore?''

The already sharp jaws clenched, his face held a cold look, but his eyes shifted soft, nearly as if he felt for me, as if he didn't want to do this,

Yet he did,

And I was done, because all I tended to be, to the blonde boy standing speechless in front of me, was a whore,

I shook my head, annoyingly huffing at him before I strived to turn around, to leave him with the imagination that I would do the thing he asked me not to, that I would meet Adrian,

But the second I sought to leave, he once again grabbed me, his fingers roughly snatching my wrist, yanking me back to him, '' Don't you dare meet him, June. I need you to promise me that you won't do that, that you won't meet him,''

His eyes searched mine, looking for any signs of remorse, '' You don't get to tell me what to do, Malfoy,'' I hissed, feeling my temper missing me as I hauled my arm back, grabbing the door handle,

'' I swear to—,'' He held, sucking in a harsh breath, his toned chest moved heavily, '' If you meet him, we're done,''

''Isn't it a good thing we never got started then?'' I dared him before slamming the door shut, marching my way back to the great hall, and as I do — I hear his voice through the walls, shouting, cursing as he threw things across the room,

It hurts, but I can't care,

I can't do this anymore,

__________

I settled that night in Luna's room, frightened that the blond-haired boy would come searching for me if I stayed in my own dorm,

It was either her room or Blaise's, but if I stayed in his room, I would most definitely run into Draco,

And I couldn't handle that right now,

I couldn't even look at him, not after what happened,

My heart was not built to take another heartbreak,

I told Luna what happened, everything that had passed between Draco and me. I even spoke to her about Adrian and his comment about what the blonde one had been up to with Pansy.

But no matter how hurt I was, and how many times she'd warned me about the deemed Draco Malfoy — she never told me '' I told you so,''

Not one single time,

She didn't lecture me about how thoughtless I was,

How my actions lived to be reckless,

How I should've known better than to let him in,

She merely hugged me as I sobbed into her arms. My breaking figure always found comfort in hers. Luna held me for hours while she hummed calming, gentle words into my neck before my exhausted body fell asleep hugged in hers,

My heart was bursting over a boy I hated,

Over a boy that hated me.

___________

'' Daydreaming, are we, miss Ravenclaw?'' Professor Snape mocked me, hovering as his voice sternly broke through my clouded mind,

I jolted back, my spine slammed against the backrest as I pretended to be fiddling with my book, '' No, sir,'' I stuttered, ashamed that he caught me off guard — he suspiciously nodded, before swiftly spinning around, marching his way back to the front of the class,

''Are you alright?'' Luna asked with a tap on my shoulder, making my head lock at hers, '' Do you want to—,''

'' Absolutely not,'' Hermione rose, turning in her seat to face us, ''You two are staying right here,'' She held a more than disturbing look, eyebrows frowned as she had her arm crossed over her chest,

'' See—,'' Luna bite back, '' This is why she keeps spending time with Blaise and not us,

'' Because you always do this, Granger,''

Hermione's features slightly fell at Luna's talks, looking hurt by the assumption she just made, '' You don't mean—,''

'' June, if you'd like — we can do something after dinner,'' She smiled, avoiding the stare of her blonde-haired girlfriend,

Hermione shrugged at what passed, her eyes flickered to mine as well, '' Yes, we can, when class is over,'' She mocked Luna, earning an annoyed look to lift on her highlights,

'' Now you're just being ridiculous,'' Luna huffed, slamming her book shut before her hand grabbed mine, '' Besides, I think June has plans for tonight—, isn't that right?''

Hermione's face dropped in confusion before a spark of curiosity shuns through the dense look, '' What? With who?''

'' Don't tell me it's that Mal—,''

Snape sighed loudly as he stormed closer. His hand coated Hermione's head for a brief moment before he sent it straight to face her books instead of talking to us,

My sights grounded in the pages, a shy smile arched in the corner of my mouth, thinking about the boy I had promised to meet tonight, how the flush of excitement rushed through me, yet not —

I needed this. I needed my mind to swirl around anything else but the blonde-haired Slytherin and the brown-haired Hufflepuff,

I didn't deserve this. I knew I didn't. But Draco had me in his hold, to play with as he please, even if I wished to do everything to pry out of it, to never have to see that boy ever again,

I couldn't,

Because I was stuck here, in this school, within these walls and there was no way to leave, so I had to manage it, to manage myself,

My eyes flicked up, striving to focus on the words spoken by Snape, but my focus repeatedly missed me as my views wandered, looking over the studying students, and in the midst of all the small mumbled, tiny chatter — the blue eyes caught mine, staring evilly through mine,

The way he looked at me, how his gaze bored through mine, took my breath away,

I couldn't be here.

I didn't want to,

Without reason, I urged my chair back, gripping everything that held on my desk in a flying movement — scared to Snape would falter me before I the chance to leave,

I snuck out, unnoticed as I stepped down the hallways, headed towards the library to study in the calmness between old, dusty books and the humming librarian,

I flinched back the instant I turned the corner, feeling a cold hand snatch me back, '' Date?'' He seethed through gritted teeth, not even giving me a chance to look at him before he accused, '' I thought I told you not to see him,''

I faced the blue eyes, his face tensed by the shocked look of mine — with a harsh swallow, '' You said that if I walked out—,''

''No, I said if you meet him, and still, you plan to do so?''

'' Yes,''

'' Yes?'' He hissed, dangerously pulling me closer, '' You have an ugly habit of not listening to me,'' I felt the minty breaths fanning my flushed cheeks,

'' That's because I don't have to—,'' I sought to convince, '' You don't own me, Draco. I can do as I please because I don't belong to anyone,''

I stood my ground, feeling confident about what I had just spoken, but not the blonde one. His eyes grew dark as the provoked smirk spread — his hues glared in pure evil, '' You don't belong to me?''

I shook my head, taking a shoe back, nearly frightened at his persona, '' No, I don't belong to anyone,''

Silence,

He stood tall in front of me in utter silence before he suddenly shoved me back, his hand gripped around my neck as he dragged me down the hall, '' Well —,'' He held, hauling at his wand to unlock the closet, '' Let me show you, who you belong too,'' He flung the door shut, making me stumble back into the shadowed room,

'' Draco, you can't—,''

His fingers coarsely dug into my waist, pulling himself on to me, his head dipped to my ear, trailing his tongue behind it,

'' Spread your legs,''


	16. F i f t e e n ,

Mature content ahead.

_________

'' Spread your legs,'' Draco demanded, his tone harsh as he fiddled with his wand, muttering, '' Muffliato'' underneath his breath before turning fully to face me,

But I didn't move, too startled of what just happened to move a single inch; my silence and my obedience to his asking made him more than impatient,

'' I said, spread your fucking legs,''

His hands wrapped around my waist, tugging me inches away from his tensed front, '' Don't make me say it a third time because I swear to god—,''

'' Do as I say,''

I shook my head, even though I wanted to do exactly what he pleaded for me to do. I wanted him more than anything at this time, but if I did as asked,

Draco would win; he once again would have the hold of me he knew he had,

The cold fingers tensed as he growled, '' For fuck sakes,''

The blonde one's hands dipped to my thighs to pick me up, wrapping my legs around his waist; his starving lips found mine, kissing me with force while placing me on the counter,

'' I want to taste you,'' He breathed heavily, '' I want to feel you cum all over my mouth,'' His hand cupped my cheek, a ring-coated thumb brushed over my bottom lip as sucked in a harsh breath, nodding at his tells, because once again — I was trapped in the mesmerizing embrace of him,

He bit his lower lip before crashing his lips against mine, '' Fuck—,'' He grunted into my mouth, '' Fuck you're irresistible,''

'' No matter how much I try to stay away—,''

'' I can't,''

My underwear soaked at his words, my core caving as I tangled my fingers into his hair, '' Then don't, Draco—,''

'' Don't stay away,''

He tended back, raising a brow as he studied me in the dark, '' Are you. wet for me?''

I nodded yet again, trying to catch my breaths — he strived in between my legs, dropping to his knees before placing heated, wet kisses on my inner thighs, '' Yes you are,'' He mumbled, his finger hauling at my underwear,

The finger slid up my soaked slit, before tending away, with my juice collected on it, he paths it up to his mouth, licking it clean, '' Fuck—,''

My head thrown back as he did his deed yet again, slowly tracing his thumbs in circles, '' Feel good for me,'' He teased, his finger gently thrusting inside, '' I want you to feel so good for me,''

Draco licked a flat stripe up my cunt, earing a soft moan from my lips as he did, '' Draco—,''

'' Such a needy little girl,'' His eyes locked in mine, his tongue playing with my clit as he pushed in another finger, '' Does that feel good?'' He smirked, still working his tongue,

'' Y—, Yes,'' I purred out, my hips bucking into his face as he kept going,

The coil nearly dropped before he pulled away, his quick fingers slowed, '' Are you going to cum for me?'' He grinned, going in a dangerously slow speed, '' Promise to scream my name when you do, and I'll let you cum,''

I nodded, feeling the ecstasy rushing throughout my veins. His hand searched for mine as he dipped down again — intertwining his cold fingers with my warm ones,

'' Draco, I—,'' I heaved, rocking my hips onto him as he sucked on my clit, making me feel more than good. My body shook in pleasure, my back arched, tears prickled as my head washed over me, '' Draco—,'' I squealed out, trying to push his head away,

But he wouldn't move; he wanted to taste me, to feel my walls clench around his fingers as I completely shredded in his hold, my every sense on edge as my core caved,

'' There she is, such a good girl for me,'' He tended away, straightening his spine as he stood tall in front of me,

He sucked his thumb off before forcing it into my mouth, grinning as he did, '' Feel how good you taste?''

I swirled my tongue around his thumb, before pulling away, my hands clung around his neck to pull him closer, '' Do you want me to taste you?'' I whispered into his lips, noses brushing against each other as the savor of mint scored sweet on my lips,

'' No, this was about you—,'' He held, his fingers still braided with mine, '' And how you'll think of me when you're with Pucey tonight,''

The blonde one pushed his body close to mine, his mouth close to my ear, '' Remember how good you feel with me, how good only I can make you feel—,''

He stepped back, stretching our entwined fingers to his lips, placing soft kisses on my knuckles, '' Now—,''

'' Tell me you don't belong to me,''

Draco's upper lip curled, the blonde strands of hair messy,

'' I dare you—,''

His eyes pierced through mine, and by the look of them, how much he wanted me to say it — how he nearly demanded it,

And I wanted to,

All I wanted to do was to give in,

To allow him to have me,

To be his,

But I could never do that because he wasn't mine,

I tore my sight away from his, drawing my fingers out of his grip, '' I'm not yours, Draco—,''

'' I don't belong to you,''

The blonde boy's brows furrowed, his breaths ragged as he stepped back, disbelief pushed through his nerves as he emptily stared at me,

'' I can't belong to you, Draco—,''

'' Not knowing if you belong to me,''

Silence,

Complete silence,

His entire face fell, his shoulder sunk for a brief moment and then—,

Anger flashed through his numb eyes, his body tensed, hands curled into fists, sharp jaws clenched even sharper,

'' I will never be yours,'' He spat, turning in his shoes before slamming the door shut behind him,

Leaving me entirely alone behind, my heart shattered, tears pooled, not knowing that his only reason for doing this—,

Was because the blonde boy knew that one day, he had to break my heart in a way graver than the way you read in books,

_______

I leaned against the fence, glancing over the quidditch field as I waited for Adrian — I wasn't sure of coming here tonight, since things passed rather aggressively between Draco and me, but after hours of talking, Luna convinced me to do so,

She believed it would be better for me to get the vile Slytherin out of my head, and I did something I usually wouldn't do,

I listened to her,

And here I was, holding as the chilly breeze kept soring at my cheeks, taking in every tiny piece of being out here,

I rarely am. I never took an interest in quidditch; it didn't make much sense to me — riding around on a broom, chasing things around,

I rather spent my time with my head stuck in a book,

The boy standing on the grass, waving his hands at me, caught my attention, how he gently urged for me to join him,

I stumbled down the stands, finally reaching close to him as he smiled, '' Finally—,'' He held, stretching his hand to brush some hair off my cheek, '' You got me thinking that you weren't showing up,''

I felt myself chew on my bottom lip, playfully shaking my head at him, '' Well, if that happened to be the case—, I have a strong feeling that you've come looking for me,''

Adrian rolled his eyes, gesturing with his hand for me to sit down on one of the benches, '' Really?'' He smirked, seating himself next to me, '' Then it's a good thing you did show up because I don't walk up all those stairs to your common room just for anybody—,''

I raised a brow at his words, gently hitting his arm, '' Just anybody, you say?'' I mocked, earning a chuckle to flee his lips before he held in silence for a brief moment,

'' You're not just anybody,''

'' I know,'' I smiled, my fingers twitched as the air scored bitter, he noticed, and without doubt, he reached for my hand, gently holding it in his,

Even if it was just a simple touch,

Not anything to complain about,

It felt more than wrong,

Because Draco did that,

Draco always held my hand when he felt the need to, and to feel another touch against mine, where his touch should have been, caused my insides to twist,

That was his way of calming down, to take my warm hand in his cold one, braiding out fingers together — nearly as it was his way of showing me emotion, his way to speak to me, was him touching me, our fingers entwined,

We spoke for hours, about everything and nothing.

Adrian was sweet, caring, friendly — he was different.

He wanted to know things about me, something that no one else ever asked, about my family, about my friends, about Draco,

But the subject that triggered his curiosity about me was my father,

He had never-ending questions about the dark lord, how it was possible for my mother to ever fall for such a cruel man,

But she did — my mother loved him, in ways she never tended to love another person, but he had her fooled, beyond explanation, because Tom Riddle wasn't a man capable of loving another human being, he held such darkness inside of him,

The sort of darkness that could never be spoken about, and all he sought to do with my mother, was to keep his legacy intact, to create a flawless bloodline, for someone to take over when he fell,

Even though he had admitted to my mother that she meant nothing to him, that he only used her to his fullest extent — I still believed that he did, that he did love her, that she lived to be someone he held dearly, even if he existed without emotion,

I hoped that somewhere, deep inside of that hate and spite he held,

That my mother and I lived to be more than a bloodline to him,

Adrian listened closely, and that felt more than pleasant, to have someone who listens to you, who causes you to feel heard and seen in a world where everyone already seems to know everything about you,

He told me numerous things about himself as well, about his family, his friends — he had one particular friend in mind as he spoke,

Draco,

Only hearing his name ached my heart, my veins iced as I thought about the words he uttered before leaving me earlier today,

'' I will never be yours,''

The blonde one's words echoed loudly throughout my head,

Over and over and over again,

I sought to not let it get to me, not to let him ruin another chance for me to find happiness, yet he did,

'' Here—,'' Adrian broke through my clouded mind, smiling politely at me as we walked our way back to the castle, '' You look cold,''

'' What?'' I snapped, my neck clocked to his, noticing his robe being held out for me to take, '' Oh, no I'm—,''

'' Don't be stupid,'' He mocked, halting in his steps to wrap the cloak around me, '' There you go,'' - but he didn't shoe back, he lingered as he let his hand stroke against my frozen cheek. I met the piercing gaze he brought, staring deeply into those green eyes,

Adrian's skin felt soft on mine. His touch was gentle, kind, respectful, and I couldn't help but smile as his thumb brushed over my surface,

'' I think we should go—,'' I broke the silence, clocking him out of his thoughts as he shook his head, shyly smirking,

But the brown-haired boy didn't speak much as I continued walking towards the great hall; he merely looked lost in his mind as he stayed quiet, sauntering close to me,

I peered over at him as we closed into the dining hall, '' Adrian—,'' I called out for him, nudging my shoulder against his, '' Adrian, what's wrong?''

His head matched mine, turning to face me in the entrance of the hall, but even if students were to chatter around us — I only saw him, his eyes held in mine as he hesitatingly parted his lips to speak,

'' I have to ask you something,''

My face fell into a confused grimace, brows furrowed as I nodded, '' Of course, go ahead,''

Adrian bit his bottom lips, rolling his tongue on the inside of his cheek, '' Is there something happening between you and—,'' He held, swallowing thickly,

''Between you and Malfoy?''

I sensed my breaths stuck, my eyes scrunched together by the embarrassment I felt in his question. I shook my head, flaying my hues wide,

'' Really?'' He breathed out, almost as if he felt relieved, '' Because he told me earlier, that if I ever touched you — I would live to regret it,''

An annoyed scoff left my lips as Adrian kept telling,

'' But that doesn't make any sense to me, since...''

I rose a brow, my eyes searching his as I waited for him to finish,

'' Since he's with Pansy, right now—,''

I felt my jaws clench, my eyes flickered from Adrians, and without even a second passing, they locked in Draco's,

His chin rested in his palm, but the blue eyes were already glued at me; with a daring glimpse, he narrowed them in mine — his coiled cold, emotionless as I let my gaze drop to the table, only to realize,

His hand,

His. 

Hand.

Resting in hers,

My heart dropped, the sinking feeling flooded over me as I tried to keep a straight look, swallowing the lump growing in the back of my throat,

I glared back at Adrian, forcing a smile, '' No—,'' I lied,

''Nothing is going on between Malfoy and me,''

Even though it always will be something happening between us,

I couldn't admit it,

I refused to,

The boy's upper lip curled into a smirk, looking proud at my confession. One of his hands moved to the wall behind me, trapping me in as the other one placed gently onto my waist, '' Are you sure?'' He grinned, leaning closer, '' Because I would really like to do something, but I can't do that if you feel something—,''

'' I don't—,'' I hewed him off, arching my neck to face him fully, '' I don't feel anything for Draco,''

His breaths fanned over my skin, the softness of him made my heart soft as he stared deeply, '' Good—,'' He held, '' Then I'm allowed to do this,'' Before reality even had the slightest chance of hitting me,

He softly pressed his lips against mine.


	17. S i x t e e n,

He softly pressed his lips against mine,

And without a second thought, without even as much as a heartbeat missing — I kiss him back, my hands moved up to his jaws, gently cupping them as deepened the kiss, pulling me inches closer,

This kiss was soft, and I had never held a kiss of this kind before — both Draco and Cedric always kissed me with such force, and hunger but this,

This was sensitive, needing, gentle,

And for some reason — I never wanted it to end,

I sucked in a harsh breath before tugging our lips apart, my eyes flickered up to please his; the peace looking eyes stared through mine before snapping down do watch my swollen, glossy lips,

'' If you don't mind—,'' He smiled, his other hand dropped to my waist, '' If you don't mind, I would love to do that again,''

I tilted my head in a slight nod, pushing myself up on my toes to reach his lips once again, '' I don't mind—,'' I smirked into his parted lips, my hands grasping at his neck,

A warm hand leveled my jaw, kindly stroking it as he towered over me, bending my head back — and just as I stretched back, my eyes peeled open to catch my breath,

I lose it completely,

Someone forced Adrian back from me, making him stumble back in the hallway as he followed; Draco had a rough grip around his friend's throat and without question,

The blonde one slammed Adrian into the stone-covered ground — my eyes pooled as I watched, pushing myself off the wall to stop them,

To stop him,

My steps echoed in pace with their raging breaths, Draco forced a knee down into Adrian's chest, his wand digging into his neck as he lost himself to his temper,

'' Draco, stop—,'' I called out for him, trying to pry him off, but to no use. In this mind, in this state, he's lost,

'' What did I fucking tell you, Pucey?'' He spat, through gritted teeth, dagging more pressure on the knee bored into Adrian's chest, '' I told you to stay the hell away from her, you filthy—,''

'' That's enough, Draco—,'' I tried to warn, '' Please stop, you can't—,''

Before I could speak my mind, I noticed Adrian's hand curling into a fist, knuckles white as he swung it, colliding roughly with Draco's jaw, yet the blonde one didn't budge — not a muscle moved at Adrian's tries, he was too angry, to upset,

Instead, his hand flew to his throat, squeezing his skin coarsely, '' I dare you, Pucey, do it again,''

'' Hit me again, and I'll have a reason to fucking end you,''

My hands sought to push him off as Adrian's eyes rolled back, in need of oxygen, '' Draco, stop this, right—,''

Draco pushed his arm back, causing me to tremble into the wall behind us. My head whirled, the muffled whimpers fleeing my lips caught his attention; he shoved himself off Adrian in a heartbeat as my hooded eyes, tiredly sealed together,

Darkness,

_____

'' Why?'' The voice tore through my senses, '' Why would you do this, Draco?''

'' Why would you do this over a fucking girl?''

My head clouded by the harsh tones arguing back and forth, my eyes heavy as I tried to clock them wide,

'' She's not just a fucking girl. She's—, She's—,'' He trembled, before shoving the door at the person standing in his doorway, '' I don't know what she is, just get the fuck out of here before I throw you out,''

The loud slam of the door forced closed made my body flinch, my spine flew off the mattress as I looked at him, seeing his back bent, his forehead against the wood,

'' Fuck—,'' He frustratingly shouted, his fist heavily collided with the timber, over and over and over again,

I crawled back, my eyes wide in panic as I called out for him, '' Draco—,''

He flung around, eyes broad as his jaw dropped, '' June—,'' He stepped close, kneeling next to the bed, '' It's alright,''

I shook my head, my knees dragged up to my chest, '' Where am I?'' I whispered, trying to grip what had passed, why I was here,

Draco hunched down on the bed, close to me as he wrapped an arm around my struggling self, '' The teachers wanted to bring you to your room, but I—,''

He quieted down, his head rested on mine, '' I didn't—, I couldn't let them,''

'' I needed to make sure that you were safe,'' - and then it hit me, this was his room, the room I only visited once before the first time the blonde one managed to hurt me,

'' So I took you here, to my room,''

My fingers twitched as I peered up at him, his eyes swollen, red, his bottom lip slightly quivering, '' Are you alright, Draco?''

He raised a brow, the arm wrapped around me tensed at my question, '' Am I alright?'' He scoffed, '' You're the one who passed out, and you're asking me if I'm alright?''

He seemed more than surprised, almost bothered that I dared to ask him such a question, but I had to — he had been crying, his pale skin was drained, '' Why have you been—,''

I gasped as I clocked the bruised jaw, my hands dipped to grasp his, noticing the swelled, bloody knuckles, '' No, no, no, Draco—,''

'' Draco, tell me you didn't—,''

'' Tell me you didn't do this,''

The blonde-one stayed hushed, tearing his eyes from mine as guilt climbed his front — his jaws clenched, '' He fucking kissed you—,''

'' I told him to stay away, and what does he do? He kissed you,''

My eyes waved, my hands forced into the sheets as I pushed myself off the mattress, '' Tell me what you did, Draco. Tell me what you did right now,'' I nearly begged him, needing to know what he did to Adrian, to know where he'd left him,

'' He kissed you—,''

'' Yes, he did, he fucking kissed me, Draco, and what am I supposed to do about that now?'' I snapped, my hands rushing through my hair, hauling it back in defeat, '' What do you want me to do? You didn't want me. You told me that this—,'' My fingers gesturing to the both of us,

'' That this would never happen, so what? I can't move on? I can't meet someone without you, completely losing your mind?''

'' He fucking kissed—,''

'' I. don't. care, Draco,''

He stood tall, taking long strides up to me, his hands clenched around my waist as he pulled me in, '' Only I can kiss you—,''

My eyes matched his, my lower lip sucked in between my teeth as I thought of it, what he had done, moments before I kissed Adrian,

His hand,

Placed in hers,

His words, '' I can never be yours,'' Echoed more than loudly,

He didn't want me,

He petted me,

He felt sorry for what he did, but he didn't want me,

He wanted her, and I wanted Adrian,

And by that single thought, that image flashing through my mind — my head didn't spin anymore, my eyes cleared as I backed away, '' I—,''

'' I can't do this,''

Adrenaline pumped through my veins as I shoved past him, '' Where are you—,''

'' Just, don't Draco, don't do this,'' I huffed out, stretching down to pick my books up, '' I'm sorry but I can't—,''

My hand scored cold around the doorknob as I felt a hand, yanking mine away, '' Don't leave,'' His chest hugged my back, his arms snaked around my waist, '' Please, stay here,''

He had such a hold of me, a hold I didn't have over myself,

I didn't want Draco Malfoy — I needed him,

Even if I spent my whole life resenting him,

He always had sought to make my life as miserable as he possibly could by stealing my sweets at the Christmas dinners as kids, storing them in my mother's shoes, and when it was time for us to leave, the chocolate had melted.

My mother was infuriated with me every time because no one would ever believe me when I told them that Draco was the one who did it,

Or the time we got home from spring break, and I had to stay at the Malfoy Manner, he always snatched my belongings when I showered and soaked them wet in the sink, leaving me with nothing to wear when I was ready to go back to the guest room.

He made my life an existing hell until one day, he stopped.

He ceased speaking to me, and we didn't talk for years, avoided each other at the Christmas dinners, did everything imaginable not to have to sit next to each other in class.

I was pleased with that,

Satisfied with the truth of him holding no part in my life anymore, until that night in detention a few months back and now,

Now I can't imagine my life without him,

Yet I hate him for everything he'd done, every heartache he'd caused me, every tear that escaped my bravery because of him, every time he sought forgiveness without apologizing.

I hated him with every bone in my body, with every nerve attached to my skin, yet my skin still craved his, my heart ached for him,

And because of that, I hated myself even more,

I hated myself for finding peace in his violence.

Draco's hands pulled me back, '' You need to rest—,'' He spoke, softly, letting my body sink into his as he leaned against the headboard, '' Is this alright?''

His arms hugged me, his chest fell lightly against my spine, '' It is—,''

Silence,

My head fell against his shoulder as I peered over my shoulder to look at him, to study the boy who brought to much mystery — his eyes closed, his lips pushed into a firm line, '' Stop—,''

My head snapped back, my body froze as he caught me, '' Stop staring at me. It's rude to stare,''

I felt my lips arch at his tells, slightly blushing as his hands sought mine, braiding our fingers together, '' You're not even looking at me, Malfoy,''

The blue eyes flayed open, his face twisted in disgust, making my eyes roll at his childish demeanor, '' Fine—,''

I closed mine, sinking further into his chest, '' Better?''

'' Much better—,''

I couldn't help but feel curious, to ask him why he requested Adrian to stay away — when he was the one who didn't want this,

I sucked a harsh breath in, my lips hesitatingly parted, '' May I ask you something?''

He nodded, his chin rested on the top of my head, '' Why did you tell Adrian to stay away from me?''

Draco's fingers clenched around mine before he pulled away, shoving himself off me, '' Why do you always have to do this?'' He growled,

'' Why do you always have to ruin everything?''

My eyes watered, my breaths hitched as the disbelief washed over me, '' Excuse you?''

'' I'm the one ruining everything?'' I stood tall in front of him, facing him fully as the courage grew within, '' I'm not the one hurting people, Draco. I'm not the one fucking kissing them, dragging them into closets only to tell them that I don't want anything—,''

'' That's you, Draco — that's on you,''

The blonde one looked startled, frozen before me as he slowly shook his head, the corner of his mouth arched, '' I didn't mean to do that, and you know it—,'' He let out, breathing heavily, '' Do you think I want this? That I want to hurt you? Do you really believe that I want it?''

'' Because I fucking don't. I wished I could do everything differently — then I could have another chance with this, but I can't, alright? I did something, and I can't—,''

'' I did something, and I can't have you anywhere near it, do you understand?''

I booted back, hissing at him as I strived to turn around, '' You know what, Draco? This was a mistake. You're more than right. We shouldn't do this,''

He took a step closer, '' I didn't fucking say that—,''

I slammed the door shut, without giving him the curacy to speak,

I was done,

I left him, as I should've done months ago,

_______

The night I left Draco's room, I immediately went to look for Adrian. I felt the need to apologize to him for his blond-haired friend's behavior, and I needed to know what Draco did to him.

I found him in his room, seated on the bed with Blaise holding him company. They explained what Draco had done moments after I passed out — He punched and booted Adrian to the point where he had to be taken to the hospital wing.

But Adrian didn't seem to mind. He kept assuring me that he only thought about me the whole time, wishing that he was the one who could've comforted me following what happened.

I stayed in Adrian's room, placed on his bed with his head on my shoulder, gently stroking the strands of his brown hair, and I could tell he almost fell asleep by that,

And for once,

I didn't think of Draco Malfoy,


	18. S e v e n t e e n ,

'' No, you have to eat all of it,'' Adrian spoke, grabbing my fork to pick the last pieces of potatoes off my plate, attempting to push the fork into my mouth, but my efforts to pull away made his eyes roll,

'' Stop being childish. You didn't eat breakfast, so I need you to eat all of it.'' He pushed in a quiet tone, shooting me an annoyed look, '' Come on—,''

We spent the last week trying to spend as much time together as possible. It was challenging to find time between our schoolwork and his quidditch practice, so we made it our thing to meet up during meal periods,

Spending time with Adrian had become the highlight of my day — He made everything feel easy, light. He was sensitive with me, humble with my feelings — He encouraged me to keep my head up and not to let the effects of anyone tearing me down;

I suffered to tell Adrian about my past with Draco. I didn't want to; I only spoke about the shallow parts, not wishing to expose myself or the emotions I kept deeply hidden inside.

I finally meet his bothersome grin, rolling my eyes at him as I parted my lips, allowing him to serve me the last pieces of potatoes,

'' Happy now?'' I laughed, nudging him to the side, causing him to let out a slight huff,

" No, but I will be if you take one more bite, please?" He begged, tipping his head to the side, biting his lower lip, " For me?" - and there was no reasonable way for me to tell him no,

I completely melted at his acts,

" Fine, but only one." I smiled, lightly shaking my head, " The things I do for you, Pucey." I allowed him to slip the fork in between my lips one more time,

His eyes locked in mine as his hand reached for the stray strand of hair that kept falling over my forehead, gently tucking it behind my ear, '' Can we go now? I want to—,'' I rose, but before I could finish what I was about to say, a raw, intense growl shot shivers down my spine,

'' Well, well, well,'' The voice tore through me, ''What do we have here?''

I didn't have to turn around to see the smirk stinging into my neck — I felt it,

'' Isn't it Pucey and his lovely little girlfriend?'' Draco mocked, his tone darkly in sarcasm,

Adrian spun around in a swift move, rolling his eyes at the blond-haired boy behind us, but I didn't. I held my eyes locked on my plate, silently begging for him to leave me alone, to let me and all the crave he held in taunting me, go,

Ever since I walked out of Draco's room last week, I haven't seen him much, only a few times in class and at dinner, almost as if he had avoided me,

'' We should probably—,'' Adrian tried speaking, his eyes are glaring in mine with the urge of wanting to leave — as did I,

I noded, about to force myself off my seat when Draco crouches down next to me, sloping Pansy onto his lap. My whole body tensed as I watched them, the devilish smirk still plastered to his lips as he eyed me down,

He knew exactly how much he hurt me at this moment.

Draco's eyes caught mine for a fleeting moment before my sights flicker down to learn how he's slowly stroking his hands along Pansy's thighs,

With a thick swallow — I looked back at Adrian, and how he noticed how much Draco and his childish games played me,

I shook my head, feeling a peel of provoked laughter leave my lips as I pushed my chair back. My palms slammed into the table,

'' Did you really have to bring the trash to the table, Draco?'' I grinned, chewing on my bottom lip in the way I knew set him off, '' That's not very clean of you, is it?''

Adrian burst out on laughter behind me as Draco's amused face fell into a raging one, the sneer faded into a furious look — I turned, my arm braided with Adrian's as I pulled him up next to me,

'' See you around, Malfoy,'' I dared him before both of us marched out,

Leaving both him and Pansy speechless behind,

'' Are you alright?'' Adrian asked as we walked out, '' Because that was... intense,''

I stopped, tugging his arm back as he stepped into me, '' I'm fine,'' I smirked, '' As you said — I shouldn't allow him to treat me like that,''

'' That's right,'' Adrian held, his hand softly cupped my cheek, '' May I?''

My eyes fluttered close, standing on my toes as I nodded — his lips met mine, tasting the soft, gentle touch he brought,

Zoning out from everything and everyone around us,

__________

My mind kept shaping the fact that Narcissa hurled me a letter last night, to pen me that she's coming to see me in a few days,

I couldn't quite wrap my mind around my beliefs towards her visit that she urged to speak to me in person, and that could solely mean one thing — that there's something severe going on.

" No, no, it's not like that,'' I huffed, rolling my eyes at my two friends, '' We're not dating,"

" We're just friends. How many times am I supposed to tell you this ?"

" Well, that's not what Adrian said last night at practice." Blaise laughed, shouldering me to the side; I meet his eyes with a doubtful stare, " He said that you two had done things."

My veins rush in wonder at what Blaise spoke, and the concerned feeling I had about the letter was followed with an offended one,

We haven't done anything more than a kiss,

So why would Adrian say that?

" You should've seen the look on Malfoy's face,'' Blaise pushed, '' He was bloody mad."

Blaise let out a trail of chuckles as he sought to impersonate the look on Draco's front, making Luna laugh at his act,

" And then he stormed off before he could listen to the whole—, " He hushed down, noticing the startled look on my front,

" I mean... I didn't—, " The boy scratched the back of his head in embarrassment, " I'm sorry,"

'' What whole story?'' Luna snapped, raising a brow as she turned to me, looking at me with a curious gaze,

'' Did you two do something?''

'' Of course not,'' I mumbled, still in my wrong mind as to why he would speak such lies, '' You know that I would tell you if we did.''

'' Nothing happened.''

As those words left my lips, Blaise let out another chuckle, '' Well, something sure did happen at dinner a few days ago.'' He grinned at me, desiring to expose me for what I said to Draco and Pansy,

'' Did you hear about June's little stunt with Malfoy and Parkinson?''

'' What is this? Am I invisible nowadays?'' My blond-haired best friend sighed, her arms thrown in the air as she shook her head at me,

'' Why am I the last one to know everything?'' She pouted, shooting me an evil glare, ''You better tell me right now, ''

I chewed my bottom lip in uncertainty, my arms crossed over my chest before I nervously gazed away. The shame of what I told Draco washed over me,

I held in silence, only hearing the chatter of the students walking around us,

'' She called Pansy trash,'' Blaise burst out, breaking my shy silence with his loud voice — I caught my head up to face his,

'' Learn when to shut it, Zabini,''

Of course, he had to do this,

It's Blaise.

'' Finally,'' Luna scored in relief, a festive look spread over her angelic features, '' Someone would've had to tell her that, eventually.'' But as soon as her silvery eyes are placed in my blue ones, she twists her face in pity,

" June is over, Malfoy, isn't that right?" Luna spoke, giving me a modest smile, her dimples slightly showing before wrapping her arm around my tensed figure.

"Besides, Adrian is a much better fit for her anyway."

I shrugged, forcing a smile to curve onto my lips, trying to hide the fact that I wasn't,

I'm not over Draco.

I act like I am,

I truly wish to be,

I'm doing everything in my power to forget the cruel boy,

But it's hard, letting go of a person that had made such an impact on your life, even if Adrian had blessed my being for the better,

I felt the sinking feeling flooding, my heart lightly pounding inside of me as my sights glared over the busy hallway, feeling the anxiety of all the people surrounding me crawling up my back.

'' I'll be back. I just have to use the bathroom.''

Luna hugged me goodbye, holding me tightly for a fleeting moment before letting me go, almost as if she knows that talking about this is hard. I turned to Blaise, providing him a mean scowl as I walked away.

I walk around a corner, headed towards the bathroom at the end of the hallway as my mind wandered again — thinking about what Blaise said,

If Adrian told his whole quidditch team that we slept together, especially in front of Draco, wouldn't he had killed the both of us by now?

Perhaps he knew that I wouldn't do that,

I didn't even feel comfortable holding Adrian's hand because of Draco.

The thought of my and Draco's fingers braided together still halted deeply inside of me, and the idea of someone else touching them caused me to feel sick,

Just as I pushed the door open, catching a step inside, I felt two cold hands wrapped around my waist, causing me to out a quiet squeal before a strong hand are muffled the noise,

My senses filled with the minty scent, the cologne that always caused my knees to grow weak. His chest hugged my back, my breaths ragged as I tried to push him off me,

" Calm down, darling,'' Draco spoke with confidence into the back of my head, '' Be a good girl for me and keep that pretty little mouth shut,'' He breathed out, slowly loosening the grip of my mouth as his hand traveled down to my throat,

'' What the hell are you playing at, Draco?'' I snapped, feeling his rings marking my neck, '' This isn't funny, let me—,''

" A little bird whispered in my ear that you fucked Pucey,"

My breaths stuck as I choked on my own saliva, '' Excuse me?'' I urged, still utterly locked in his grip,

" Did you?"

I shut my eyes closed — feeling the shame washing over me. Adrian really did that, he told them that we slept together,

" Let me go, Draco," I mumbled, bending my back, seeking to push my elbows into his toned figure; " Right now."

He released a chuckle at my demand, taking a step back, with my back still pressed against his front — his spine rested onto the wall behind him,

" I will if you answer my question."

I shook my head, '' This isn't funny, Draco, let me go, ''

But I felt my body giving in to his, knowing that there's no way he's letting go of me, '' I never said it was funny, darling.''

His hand holding my figure steady starts to travel lower, down over my clothed chest, grasping at the waistband of my skirt. '' Did he make you—,'' He hewed himself off, his teeth pinching my neck,

'' Cum?''

My breaths hooked at that question, sensing his fingers tugging their way down to my underwear,

'' Does he touch you the way I do?''

Draco's heated breaths fanned heavily against the back of my shoulder, his head dipped to trail kisses on my pale skin.

'' Does he make you cum, the way I do?''

The tension grew, the air around us thickened,

'' Draco—,'' I breathed out, letting my back sink into him,

'' Yes, darling?''

'' I didn't—,'' I held, hesitation flayed through me,

'' You didn't what?''

I swallowed, feeling his fingers still rested on my inner thighs, '' I didn't fuck Adrian,''

The silence tore around before he sighed, letting his forehead fall to the crook of my neck. The blonde hair tickled my skin, '' I knew you didn't,''

'' Because if you did, you wouldn't be so desperate for me to touch you,''

My veins froze, ice-cold shivers rushed down my spine,

He played me,

The only reason he did this was to prove that he still has power over me and that he's the only one that can make me finish,

My eyes grounded, my bravery fell as I pushed him back, '' Get off me, Malfoy.'' Hatred burst through my soft voice as my hands found their way to his, once again attempting to pry him off me.

But he refused to budge. Instead — his hand that's been lingering my underwear leveled its way up my figure, tilting my head back, forcing his thumb over my bottom lip,

'' No, you did something bad, June—,''

'' You spoke badly to me,'' He growled, '' And now I want you to make up for it,''

My eyes widen at his threatening tone,

'' Get down on your knees,''

'' Right now,''


	19. E i g h t e e n ,

"Get down on your knees, right now—,''

He slowly freed the tight hold of my body, and I force myself off him in a heartbeat, sensing my blood boil within,

He played me,

I flung around, facing his stare filled with desire, his entire body longed for mine, '' What did you say?'' I spoke, my fingers brushing through my hair, taking tender steps back to him, pushing my body against his,

'' Do you want me to get on my knees for you?'' I mocked him, my thumb moving to drag his lower lip down,

My sudden doings caused his breaths to hitch, jaws clenched as his eyes gawked into mine,

'' Do you want me to feel you, Draco?'' I battled my eyelashes at him, slightly pouting, '' Do you want me to taste you?''

He swallowed thickly, his breaths ragged by my behavior, '' Y — Yes,'' He stumbled on his tongue as the air around us throbbed in starving, '' I want you to taste me, darling,''

I rose a brow, placing both hands on his chest as I leaned into him, lightly brushing my lips against his, ''Do you want this, Draco?''

Slowly stroked my fingers over his torso, down to his pants as I began unbuckling his belt, '' Do you want me?''

My figure is close to his, fingers battling with his belt as his hands wrapped around my lower back, the touch filled with passion,

'' Say it, Draco,''

I whispered into his parted lips, pulling his belt wide,

'' I need you to tell me how much you want me,''

Draco's hands pushed me ultimately into him, our lips collided, '' Fuck, I want you—,'' He growled, '' I want you so fucking bad,''

But he quickly stops as he realized that I wasn't kissing him back, tending back as he held a shocked look, '' What are you—,''

'' Then it's too bad that I'm not yours to have, Draco,'' I smirked, chewing my bottom lip — his face shifted in anger, his veins popped out as he forced himself past me,

'' You're going to regret this, Riddle, you foul—,''

'' No, there's where you're wrong, darling,'' I chuckled, my hand tensed around the doorknob,

'' I won't,''

______________

I immediately left to find Adrian, still infuriated with him for spreading lies,

We didn't sleep together, so why would he say that we did?

I felt this sinking feeling rushing over me as I poured my way through the dungeons, not understanding why he would do this. I liked Adrian a lot, and I didn't want to believe that he would do this,

I wished for all of this to be lies, for Draco to be lying to me,

But as it usually held with me,

This was probably too good to be true,

The heartbreak and the suffering I have lived through these past months has been too much, all the way from my mother not being able to come out of hiding to Cedric wanting to break my heart, and lastly, Draco actually breaking it,

He broke my heart, and yet, I refuse to blame him for doing so,

I can't impute him because Draco made it clear that he hated me — he even told me he did.

And I hated him,

So what did I expect?

That he would fall completely and utterly in love with me?

For a kiss?

For him touching me?

I'm not even sure that I wished for him to do so, for him to love me, because what I felt for him — wasn't love. It was desire, compassion, need, but it wasn't love,

I'm too messed up to love anybody,

I wasn't even capable of loving Cedric back, and he loved me, he wanted to be with me, but I couldn't,

I couldn't feel anything for him, except lust,

The two people I have ever loved in my life was my mother and Luna.

I'm too conflicted in my own mind for anyone else. I never seem to get my feeling under control — I never held someone to understand me, never had someone to relate to, except for them, my loving mother and my angelic best friend,

And that's why I didn't let Adrian touch me like that, that's why I didn't sleep with him because he was too pure for me — my mind was too dark for his, too clouded by darkness I inherited from my father, maybe that's why I was drawn to Draco?

Maybe he was just as fucked up as I am?

He has to be.

There's no way that a person like himself, that cruel and heartless, could love someone,

I felt my face twist in disgust as my mind spiraled back to the blond-haired boy — shoving the doors to their chambers open, making my down the shadowed stairs,

My eyes staring over the dimmed room, and then, my eyes caught to his, Adrian's. He rested on a couch, his head leaning against the armrest, fingers fiddling with the book in his hands — he was handsome, he looked so at harmony, reading his book,

I nearly missed how upset I was with him by the easy look on his face. It

His eyes snapped to mine the second he heard my footsteps marching down the stairs, " What are you—," - by the sound of his voice breaking through the shivering silence of the fireplace sparkling, my mind clocked back to presence again,

I stormed up to him, '' Why, Adrian?''

'' Why would you do that?''

His face fell into confusion as he pushed himself off the furniture, '' What the hell are you—,''

'' You know exactly what I'm talking about, you told your whole team we slept together, Adrian,''

My breaths ragged, standing feet away from him, '' I didn't—,'' He held, his eyes bored through mine, '' It wasn't like that. I only said so, because Malfoy, he kept—,''

My brows furrowed, my hands dropped to my sides as I caught onto his words, '' Draco did what?''

'' He kept talking about how fucked I was for being with you, how you'd never let someone like me in,'' Pain tore through his vocals, '' And I had to say something because —,''

His tells and how he's speaking them made me swallow thickly, not grasping what's about to happen, what he means with all of this.

I shoed closer, stretching to take his book away before he rips it apart in frustration,

'' I feel for you, these past weeks with you has been—,'' He huffed, a hand rushed through his hair, '' I can't explain it, but there's something about you, something I never felt before,''

'' I've been a total idiot my whole life. I've been treating people like garbage, but now, with you — I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be better for you.''

My entire self melted at his words. He was too pure, too honest for me,

'' Adrian—,'' I heaved, in need to tell the boy before me that I couldn't do this, that I could never feel for him the way he feels for me and that breaks my heart, '' I can't—,''

'' Don't—,'' He shut me up,

'' Please, don't say what I think you're about to say,'' Adrian whispers, taking a track closer to me as his hands found their way to cup my cheeks, his eyes pierced through mine,

'' I know about the other boys. I know about Diggory, and I've heard all the rumors about you and Malfoy—, but I'm not like either of them,

'' I won't hurt you.'' His thumbs traced soft circles on my skin, the warmth of his touch spread throughout my whole body,

'' I promise.''

I strive to force myself back from him, sensing every nerve in my body panic— but he won't let me, his hand sought my chin, tipping my head back to face him fully, '' I'm no good at this, Adrian—,''

'' I can't promise that I won't hurt you, and I—, ''

'' I know you can't—,'' He whispered, cutting my stutter off as he leaned closer, '' But even if you do break my heart, you would still be worth it.''

His hand around my waist hauled me closer, pulling me into him and the safety he brought — the moment of silence put both of us into peace,

Maybe I can do this.

Perhaps I can be enough for him, the way he wants to be enough for me, maybe I can—,

As I gawk into his eyes, my thoughts are swiftly interrupted by the door being flung open. The both of us rips our sights away, facing his raging blue ones,

But the second Adrian grasps that the person who entered the room was Draco, his head clocked back to mine, and the hand caressing my chin is quickly placed around my neck, '' Give me a chance, and even if it all goes to hell, at least we tried, right?''

My sights are still coated on the handsome blond boy, dressed in his black suit, holding petrified in his steps,

I look back at Adrian, shredding my eyes away from the boy my heart ached for,

And without doubt, our lips collided, and the shivers spread within me, the moment his soft lips clashed with mine, my heart ceased aching, every worry, every thought simply faded away, and I adored that he had that effect on me,

___________

I snuck my way back to my room, nearly wishing to run into Draco — hoping that we would come looking for me,

But he didn't,

As I locked my door open, thrusting it broadly — I gulped,

Not prepared to see her standing inside of it,

'' Narcissa?'' I asked, and she quickly turned around to greet me, but something was wrong,

Her skin was paler, she suffered to put her red lipstick on - she always puts her red lipstick on. And her eyes, even if she looked calm and tried keeping her act straight, her eyes weren't lying, just like her son's eyes never lie,

My veins ruched in anxiety at my discovery, even if she looked still,

I could tell that something was terribly wrong.

'' Narcissa, what's wrong?'' I asked softly, taking marching steps towards her, '' What happened?''

Her brave act fell as my arms wrapped around her, her body was cold and tense, her arms lingered around mine, '' Lucius, he—,'' She spoke, her lips quivering,

'' He granted our manor to the dark lord today, June,'' Her voice crackled in despair, '' It wasn't thought to happen in a few months, but your father arrived today,''

I felt my blood boil at her words.

I had heard all the chatter on the radio, the people that's been going missing, the body's that been found, and it all comes back to this,

To him,

My father.

Luckily, I had never been around when my father was at his worst. When he killed people to the far and left — when he shattered lives, and in many ways, I'm thankful for that, grateful for the fact that I was a newborn and that I didn't have to watch everything around us break into pieces, 

But I am now.

I'm more than ready to face everything he's done, every despicable, unforgivable act,

Because I won't fear him,

I refuse to.

'' I'm so sorry, Narcissa,'' I murmured, holding her head closer to my chest, begging that I could take all her pain away like she's always done for me. '' We will fix this, I promise—,''

She tended away, drying the pale skin underneath her eyes, '' No, love. This has nothing to do with you. You shouldn't have to hear about this, '' She breathed out, and a brave smile arched on her trembling lips.

'' You are too young. This shouldn't be your concern. ''

I glanced at her with warmth — watching the woman that always has done everything for me, that would give her life for mine.

'' I won't let him hurt you,'' I spoke honestly, striving not to let my tears fall.

She granted me with the most humble smile, her fingers seeking to tuck a curl behind my ear. '' You have grown up to be an extraordinary young woman... I wished your mother was here to see it— '' She held, signing out a shaking breath. '' But if you truly believe that I would let you anywhere near your father—,''

Her voice is quickly interrupted by a loud path of hammering on the door, both of our necks snapped to it,

I looked back at her in hesitation, she raises her hand up for me to hold my thoughts for a slight moment, but the hard knocks on the door keep growing,

She stiffly nods her head, allowing me to open my door, but the instant I yanked the door open,

I wished I didn't.

His blue, raging eyes are burnt through my startled ones, hatred radiating off him, '' Drac—,'' I breathed, but before I even had a chance to conclude my sentence, his fingers snatched me by my throat, hauling me out of the hall as he slammed me against the wall,

'' Was it good?'' He spat, '' Because I saw him take you to his fucking room.'' He growled into my frightened features, gazing into my eyes, without giving me a chance to catch my breath,

His rings bit into my sensitive skin, his hand tightly wrapped,

'' Fucking answer me. Did he fuck—,''

He held the shouting the second he noticed my eyes flickering into my room and then back to him, but I couldn't speak —, his hands were coiled too stingy around my throat, cutting my oxygen off.

His neck snapped to the side, and his whole demeanor weakened,

'' Mother?''


	20. N i n e t e e n , part one.

I want to put out a trigger warning for self-harm in this chapter. Please read with caution.

______

" Mother?" Draco spoke, frightened; his hands dropped off my throat, making me gasp for air as I fell to the ground, striving to catch my breath.

Draco's eyes flickered down to my struggling body, and he immediately kneeled beside me, wrapping his hands around my figure — helping me stand straight,

" Draco? What on gods earth are you doing?" Narcissa snapped, marching towards the both of us. " Why would you speak such coarse language to her?''

''Are you out of your mind, son?"

Draco helped me inside my room again, and as soon as his mother closed the door behind us, I pushed him away from me, provoking him to flounder back, his furious stare bored through mine,

" Well?" Narcissa spoke again, " Will either of you explain to me what this is all about?" Her eyes caught to Draco's, sending him a severe look, " What are you doing here, Draco? It's after—,"

" It's my fault, " I uttered, cutting her words off, the both of them turned as I hunched down on my bed, " I played a stunt on Draco earlier and—,"

" June, it's not acceptable to lie. I thought you better than to be dishonest with me." She lectured. My face twisted in embarrassment, feeling my veins wince as she caught me lying,

" Draco, do you care to tell me what you are doing here, in the middle of the night?''

The blonde boy's stare rushed between his mother's eyes and mine before he rolled his, sanctioning a loud huff, taking place next to me on my bed as my heart sped by his thigh brushing against mine,

" She was with Pucey," He sighed, my eyes grew wide in disbelief at his words, my entire frame turns to him,

" And the only reason Pucey was with her was to get back at me for spending time with Pansy."

My heart dropped to the floor as those words left his lips, my eyes pooled as I looked away from his sharp features,

I caught Narcissa and her son arguing, but I couldn't hear a word of what they yelled,

I knew Adrian was too good to be true,

He used me,

Just like everyone else did.

And then, it hits me,

Adrian kissed me the first time, in front of Pansy.

He wanted to leave dinner, when he placed his eyes on her.

He later kissed me in the hallway, when she saw us.

And then, he told the whole quidditch team that we slept together, because he knew that they would say it to her.

I felt my nails digging into my palms, but I didn't mind. I needed the pain. I wanted to feel the hurt of something else that that aching feeling within, and by feeling my nails, delving deeper and deeper into my sore hands, helped.

I clocked out of my thoughts the instant I sensed Draco's hand reaching mine; his cold grip shelters around my warm one. He wanted me to stop hurting myself, he never liked it when I did this, not even as kids — he braided our fingers together between our thighs, not for his mother to see.

And at this moment — I didn't care. I didn't try to force his hand away. I simply allowed him to hold my hand, to be here for me,

I wished to be mad at Draco. I wanted to shout and scream at him for not being honest about Adrian. I desired to push him away and keep pushing, shoving, hitting him to let Adrian grow close to me,

But I couldn't do that,

I couldn't be angry with him.

Because he did this for me, he didn't want to break me one more time. He tried saving me from the pain of finding out, and I can't hold that against him,

I would've done the same thing.

Once again, he sought to protect me. It made it more than challenging for me to hate him,

" Why would he try to use June against you, Draco?" Narcissa asked, perching down on my chair as my sights locked up to hers. She's shaking her head at the both of us. Her brown hair strands collided with the blond ones, working to figure out how all of this happened,

" I could never in a hundred years understand why Adrian would do that, Draco. If he wanted to take revenge on you, why would he involve June?"

I caught Draco gulping thickly, clearing his throat as his fingers tensed around mine, " Because I —, " He stuttered before his whole face shifted in attitude, blue eyes grew wide,

" Why does that matter, mother?" He seethed, missing his temper by his mother's questions,

" Why don't you tell me what you're doing in her dorm at this hour — does father know—,"

" Draco, " She hewed him off softly, learning how her son's temper is about to explode. She looked at me with pleading eyes, begging me not to reveal what she informed me of earlier.

I had always known that she didn't want to involve Draco with the dark lord, and I would do anything not to bring him into this,

" I was coming here to deliver a letter her mother sent, and I felt required to give it to her as soon as possible."

" Your father doesn't know, Draco. I would appreciate it if we keep it that way. Is that understood?"

Draco stiffly nodded his head at her — my sights catch down to the hand that isn't holding mine, his fingers fiddled with his rings, he's anxious,

I could tell.

Every time he felt pressured, or if something lived to be difficult for him, he starts fiddling with his rings — he always has,

'' June, please.'' She begged, rising from her seat to grant me the letter. I hesitatingly look at her, feeling Draco's hold slipping out of mine, peering over to him, jaws clenched, his blue eyes bolted to the ground.

'' She hurled it late last night, but because of—,'' She resisted, her sights widened when Draco glanced up at her with a doubtful stare, '' Because of certain events. I allowed all your mail to be addressed to me,''

I nodded as I strained myself off my bed, using slow steps towards her. She spun around with the letter in her hands, and by the sight of it, the way the blue envelope shone in the dimmed lights — my eyes started to water,

It really was my mother.

Narcissa's palm stroked my cheek for a spare moment, heeding the look on my face. I met her kind eyes, and she smiles, the way only she smiles, causing the warmth to spread through every nerve in my body as she folds her arms around me, holding me close,

'' You know how powerful you are, love. Don't let anyone take that away from you.'' She whispered into my head before she pulled back, walking past me to hold her son goodbye,

'' I will be back soon, my dear.'' She told, granting me the most gracious of looks before she let Draco go, quickly opening my door, and with that, she left.

I turned to Draco. He let out a muffled huff before throwing himself onto my bed again, letting his hands rest underneath his head — staring up at the ceiling,

'' Why are you behaving like this? I thought your mother was safe?'' His face twisted in confusion as I gaze over at him with an astonished look,

'' I—,''

''She's—,'' I stuttered before lowering my sights to the envelope in my hands, thinking about my mother's safety,

I'm not supposed to tell him.

I knew that,

'' She is, she's just—,''- and the instant I said those words - he sucked in a sharp breath, noticing the beat I'm untruthful,

'' Don't lie to me,'' He growled,

'' I thought mother told you not to lie,''

He pushed himself off my bed, taking long strides up to me, '' Tell me, right now. I know you've been hiding things from me, ''

For every step he takes towards me — I catch one back, terrified to tell him that my mother isn't safe, that she's still in hiding, and that his own mother doesn't trust him, but I can't.

I can't do that to him,

I don't want to.

'' Draco, please, trust me with this.'' I begged, still taking traces back from him, faltering into my desk behind me, '' Draco—,''

He mounted over me, his tensed chest panting heavily out of violence, nostrils flaring, '' Trust you?'' He yells with his eyes narrowed,

'' How the fuck am I supposed to trust you?'' He seethed, placing a hand on each side of me, his fists clenched around the corners of the counter.

'' You want me to trust you?''

He favored even closer, his cologne filled the space between us, making me shove myself up on the desk, as he strides in between my legs,

" Then stop lying, every fucking chance you get,"

His breaths fanned my pale skin, allowing my gaze to study his looks, his eyes are burning in rage, lips squeezed into a firm line,

" I'm—, I'm not lying, " I lied, holding on to my letter,

" You're not? " His eyes widened, raising a brow at me, " Then read the fucking letter, "

I froze, in complete disbelief of what to do — he snatched my wrist, bending it up between us, the letter glued to my hand as he stared at it, before looking back at me, '' Well, go on—,''

I shook my head, swallowing the sinking feeling that kept washing over me, '' I can't do that, Draco—,''

He scoffed at my words, his hands moved to my cheeks, cupping them roughly to bend my head back. His face held an intense gaze, filled with anger — but his eyes were soft, empathy shattering through the concrete surface,

'' Tell me, you can trust me with this. You know you can.''

His words scored straight through my soul,

He usually spoke to me with hatred and spite, but this — this was calm and truthful,

He meant it.

'' My mother, she's—,''

'' She's still—,'' I breathed out, knowing that I one day was going to regret this,

'' She's still in hiding, and I couldn't tell you, because your father—,'' I spoke, fast, blurring everything out,

'' My father? He knows about this?'' He bites back harshly without giving me the possibility to conclude, blue eyes narrowed in mine as I nodded, not wanting to betray Narcissa's trust more than I already had,

'' That explains it,''

His face fell, so did his demeanor; he impatiently started pacing through my room, his hands towed his sleek blond hair back even more by every strode.

'' This is my fault—, ''

'' This is my fault—,''

'' This is my fault—,''

I caught the panic breaking through his slight voice, '' This is my fucking fault—,''

'' Draco, what are you talking about?'' I tried to get to him, leaping off the desk to make my way over to his panicking figure, but as soon as I laid my hands on his shaking frame, he pushes me away,

'' Don't fucking touch me,''

I flinch back, '' Draco, stop, please—,'' I pleaded,

His breaths grew more massive each second, his hands still hauling his hair, and his sights are bored to the ground,

'' Draco, stop, this isn't your fault,'' I shouted, making his eyes snap to mine before he shoves me back,

My back collided with the door behind me, '' This is my fucking fault, you filthy—,'' He scowled into my shocked figure, brows furrowed at his words,

'' Then fucking tell me, Draco, tell me what you did—,''

He gawked at me in silence, his hands planted on each side of me, trapping me in.

'' I did this—, '' He gasped, '' I fucking did this,''

The blonde boy held his breath for several seconds before letting his head fall to the crook of my neck; his body is quivering and without knowledge of what I was doing,

I wrapped my arms around his figure, allowing him to be vulnerable for me, letting him let it all out, and he does,

He cried into my skin, causing me to flinch, with him glued in my grip. His voice broke, his lungs missed air as he lets his hands off the wall, sneaking their way around my waist, drawing me even closer,

I felt his fanning breaths on my neck as he holds on to me tightly.

My heart shattered for him,

If there's anything Draco knows much of — it's how complicated family can be. His father never loved him, not the way his mother did,

Not in the way he wished for him to do,

We stand there, both of us petrified by what's passing, and after a while, he stepped back, too ashamed to meet my stare,

" Read the letter, " He demanded, hunching down on my bed again, burying his head into his hands,

And without hesitation,

I do,


	21. N i n e t e e n , part two.

This chapter contains mature content, and I would like to put out a trigger warning for self-harm. Please read with caution.

______

And I did — I opened the edges with my shaking hands as Draco rose his head, his sights pierced through mine,

" Dear June,

I have held the opportunity to visit the castle,

Please, attend me as soon as you can,

I can't wait to meet you again, my love.

Mother. "

My mind is dizzy, my body weak,

How is that possible?

She hasn't been able to come out of hiding for months, but now she can go home?

" What does it say?" He spoke with a questioning look on his front as my eyes snapped to his, but not a single word escaped my parted lips, " Tell me, what the fucking letter says," He shouted across the room, but I didn't even cringe at the sound of his hoarse voice,

Silence,

I couldn't speak, my entire body trembled, my eyes watered as he forced himself up, sauntering over to my numb shape, and before I even could react, he snatched the letter out of my hand, staring into my vein eyes before his views rushed wild over it,

He swallowed, looking up at me with no emotion on his face, " You can't go, June." He breathed, " It's a trap," He flung the letter to the floor as his cold hands wrapped around my upper arms, striving to flourish sense into me,

" Promise me you won't go."

I felt my face twist at his words, the anger heating up within me, " Stop telling me what to do, Draco." I shouted, feeling the tears crumbling through my surface, not being able to manage everything that's happening,

" You can't decide this for me.

''It's my mother."

His entire frame altered when he caught on to my words — he let his tongue run on the inside of his lower lip, tensing his grip,

" What the fuck did you just say to me?"

" You heard me — this is my mother, Draco. I haven't seen her in months—,''

'' I have to see her," The tears keep settling down my cheeks, my voice fractures in desperation,

" She's home, Draco,"

'' I don't fucking care who it is, it's too dangerous.'' He uttered, and I couldn't believe him. He had taken so much from me already, and now, he wants to take my mother away too,

His hands moved up to my chin, cupping my cheeks gently as his blue stares into my pooling ones,

'' Please, June, think about this.'' His thumbs stroked away the tears that keep coming,

'' Think about it, she hasn't written you in months, and now, out of the blue, she does? Asking you to go home when all of us knows that your father is doing everything possible to get his hands on you?''

His words cause me to swallow thickly - maybe he is right? Perhaps this is a trap?

But either way,

I had to find out by myself, even that meant that I had to him — I reached his hands with mine, bending them off my skin,

'' Draco, why—,''

And by that, my whole self entirely breaks down.

I fell to my knees, my head buried in my hands, letting out every sob that I've been fighting to keep in,

'' Why—, why does this keep happening to me?'' I whimpered, trying to catch my breath between all the tears,

Draco didn't move a muscle; he stands in front of me, peering down at me as I break down,

My mind is flooded with everything that's been occurring the past hours, finding out how Adrian used me, to my mother being able to come home, and everything passed in front of Draco, the person I least pleaded to be here,

My sobs echoed loudly throughout my room as I clench my fists together again, needing to feel the ease of my nails digging into my skin, craving to feel the relief that comes with it,

I feel worthless, weak, misunderstood as the blood from my palms flooded down my wrists — begging for all of this to end,

'' Fuck—,'' Draco grunted when I ignored his tries to get to me, knowing that he can't do anything to tear through my trance,

He kneeled beside me, throwing his jacket away before I felt his cold biting hands wrapping around my thighs,

He carried me to the bathroom, placing me down in the shower as he turns the water on,

I felt myself gasp — clocking back to present as the cold water hits my back, breathing heavily, my eyes fluttering up to his,

He's soaked, the strands of blond hair is a mess over his forehead, drops of water flowed down his front, over his shirt, his lips shuddering of the cold water,

His enchanting blue eyes consumed me for a fleeting moment; he's so handsome, the way his dark eyebrows reveals the pale skin, his black eyelashes outlining his perfect eyes — and once again, without thinking,

I forced my lips against his, needing to feel something,

Something else than the hurt of everything around us,

Needing to feel his skin on mine,

He kissed me back in a heartbeat, ramming me against the wall behind me,

My palms ran wild over Draco's hair, earning their way down his neck, over his torso — unbuttoning his drenched black shirt as he deepened our kiss, his tongue battled mine,

I pulled away, heaving for air as he yanked his shirt off, reaching for mine only to drag it over my head,

" Are you sure?" He breathed out, allowing his gaze to flee down my bare chest,

" I am—," I sighed, flinging my arms around his neck, he pulled my skirt and underwear down before attending his belt — the cold water had turned warm as our craving bodies are eager to taste each other,

The steam of the heated water closed around us as he shoved our pile of clothes and shoes away with his foot, taking steps back while studying my every move,

" Fucking perfect," He groaned — falling to his knees, his teeth nibbling the sensitive skin on my thighs,

'' Spread your legs, now.'' He charged, and I serve him in an instant, sliding my feet apart on the slippery tile floor,

I let out a muffled gasp as he licked a stripe up my slit — sucking his lips around my longing clit.

His cold hands firmly wrapped around my legs, rings digging into my skin with force,

'' I've missed the taste of you,'' He mumbled with his mouth still working my heat — My hands tangled into his hair, running my sore palms over it

I felt a tingling sensation in my abdomen as he thrust two fingers inside, his cold rings adding more sense to it, making me whine out in pleasure, my eyes rolled to the back of my head,

'' Does that feel good, darling?'' He grunted, serving for me to reach my climax,

His fingers hit lower, deeper into my tight opening as I tugged his hair back with every jolt of electricity shooting through my body,

'' I want you to cum for me, darling—,''

With my head thrown back, sucking my bottom lip in between my teeth not to scream out in satisfaction, he kept licking, rubbing, sucking,

'' I'm close, Draco—'' I whimpered as my whole world shivered within me,

'' Cum for me. I want to feel you on my tongue,''

His fingers kept hitting in and out of me as his tongue teased my clit — rubbing hard stripes up and down,

'' Fuck,'' I moaned, arching my back as euphoria shredded through my every vessel — my entire being is about to split in two,

" Good girl," He smirked,

'' Always such a good girl for me,''

I felt my legs tremble beneath me as he hauled away, standing up again, his hands exploring their way up my bare form, cold fingers pinching around my hard nipples as his lips matched mine, allowing me to feel the taste of myself,

" Come here," He whispered into my parted lips as his fingers sought to clutch thighs in need of me. to jump onto him,

His hands wrapped around my thighs as my back crashed into the cold tile wall, making me whimper by the rough deeds,

My arms over his shoulders as one of his hands dipped down to his growth, tenderly stroking it up and down — taunting it against my dripping pussy, and it caused me to moan, sensing his length smoothing its way up and down my entrance,

" If you don't want to do this, speak up right now—,

'' Because I will fuck you till you cry—,"

I sensed my cunt vibrating at his words, his husky tone is enough for me to finish once again, " I want you, Draco,"

He slackened his grip on me, letting his dick slip inside me, and I wept out in pleasure as he forced his tip in,

His hips thrust back and forth, his bulge working its way deeper inside me, " Fuck, Draco—,"

" Don't fucking speak," He growled, pounding harder, not letting me adjust to his size. I felt my walls tighten around it, my eyes shutting as he tends back,

'' Look at me—,'' He craved,

''I want you to look at me when I fuck you,''

My eyes clocked open at his words — digging his short-cut nails into my skin, and it's causing me to whimper out in a mixture of pain and pleasure, almost as if he's punishing me,

I bucked my hips, striving to match his gestures, " Fuck, you're so tight," His breaths caressed my neck as the warm water kept washing over us — I held onto his neck, leaning in to nibble his ear, " Is this what you wanted, Draco?" I whispered, sensing his toned muscles clenching against my skin,

" How does it feel to finally fuck me?"

He arched his head back, bolting his burning eyes in mine, with my forehead against his, the drips of water fleed my skin, over to his,

" Fuck, I want you—,''

'' I want you so fucking bad,"

We breathed the same air, moaning into each other's mouths with each thrust before I collide our lips once again, scratching my nails down his back, feeling my peak close inside me, and it's causing him to pump into me even harder,

My look twisted in desire — my blood speed through me, saturating every nerve with tension as I'm about to reach my pitch, and he can feel my clenching body against his, and it's making him go wild, pounding his length into me even faster,

" Fuck—, " I whimpered,

My eyes rolled once again to the back of my head as my peak flooded over me, but he kept thrusting, one of his hand attempts to mine, tangling our fingers together, pinning them up over my head,

He continues ramming in and out of me, through my high, slowly sliding his cock out before coarsely pounding it back in.

Draco's head fell into my neck, sucking and biting on my skin, trails of soft moans kept dropping, 

" Fuck—,'' He growled,

'' I'm going to cum,"

And he did, he came hard, roughly as he filled me up, pumping lightly through his high before he pulled out,

Our body's sunk into each other, both of our chests heaved hard, " Promise me one thing—," He sighed into the crook of my neck, " Promise me you won't leave, "

I wrapped my hands around his head, tilting his head back to look at me; his eyes gawked into mine with disbelief, the water kept flowing down his flushed skin, my thighs clinging around his waist, " Draco—,"

" No—,''

''I need you to promise me that you won't leave because I—,''

''I—, " He stuttered, blue eyes narrowed in mine, his minty breaths still heavy, " I can't lose this,"

His words are made me grimace, furrowing my brows as my entire face twisted in doubt,

" I can't fucking lose this,"

Silence, only the shower jet saturated the room,

My eyes grew broad at his words; a startled look spread onto my features as he looked at me, his eyes growing in discomfort for opening up to me,

" Forget I said anything." He mumbled, attempting to turn around, but my hands pry him back, grasping my fingers around his arm, dragging him back into the hot stream,

" Don't leave, " I begged, allowing my hands to stroke over his chest, looking all over his toned, sharp body,

" Please."

I don't know what it was, but something inside of me begged him to stay,

I craved his touch,

I craved him,

" Then promise me—,'' The blonde one rose a brow,

'' Promise me, and I won't leave,''

" I promise."

________

" Didn't I tell you not to stare at me?" Draco lectured with his eyes closed, provoking me to quickly seal my eyes as my cheeks blushed rosy — he once again caught me staring,

" Didn't I tell you to stop telling me what to do?" I grinned, dragging my sheets over me, but before I knew what was passing,

He seized my hands, pinning them over my head in a severe move,

I felt my eyes clock open by his deeds, minty breaths fanned my surprised features, " Don't make me fuck you again," He endangered as a smirk grew onto his lips,

" Because I will."

The look he gave me at this moment created my sore heat to throb again, my breaths hitched as his cold hand worked their way beneath the covers, pushing a finger to trail over my leg, haling right at the edge of my underwear,

" But on second thought—, '' He mocked,

'' I don't think you would be able to handle me one more time — You're still shaking."

He released his hold on my hands as laughter fled his smirking lips, sitting down beside me again, " You're a bloody idiot, you know that?"

" Watch that filthy mouth of yours, darling." He snickered, twisting around in my bed to face me, " I have no problem with walking out of here, right now."

His words fused my blood to boil, " Then leave,''

'' I don't need you here." I dared him, " I'm perfectly fine, sleeping alone." His blue sights narrowed in mine, jaws clenched as he watched my lip being sucked in between my teeth,

He stared at me with a fearless look for a brief moment, the silence embracing the both of us before his whole face shifted soft,

" I hate you, you know?" He sighed as his figure is closing into mine, his arms snaked around my shoulders, tugging me onto his chest,

I felt my heart fluttering as I settled my head on the warm skin; his cold hand trailed down my back to hold me — It's strange, how his hands could be this frozen while his chest was heated,

" Good, because I hate you too," I mumbled as his beating heart soothed me,

His heartbeat traced slower, and his pants quieted down as he fell asleep in my bed, with me placed on him, and I can't help to peer up at him again,

My views gazing all over him, how gentle and kind he looks, how his strands of blonde hair caressed his forehead perfectly - sensing his chest slowly moving up and down,

But being here, with him made me feel sick because I knew what I had to do,

I knew that I had to go, even if I promised him not to,

I gently strived out of his grip, whispering his name to see if he's fully asleep, and he doesn't answer, he simply swallows in his sleep as I force myself off the bed,

I got dressed — seizing my wand before granting him a quick look, trying to convince myself that I have to go, but before I do,

I take quick steps to my desk, grabbing the first piece of paper my eyes could found, penning him that I'm sorry,

I had to do this, even if it meant that I broke his trust, but hopefully, one day, not far from now, he will be able to understand why,

Why I did this, why I was so selfish, knowing that he'll be remarkably furious with me — knowing that he won't forgive me,

But it's my mother.

I turned around in my steps before opening the door,

Leaving the boy, my heart ached for behind,


	22. T w e n t y ,

My whole body quivers as I'm wandering through the gates to the Ravenclaw castle - everything appeared so distinctive - the lowering clouds wavering over the rooftops produces the complete embrace to feel bitter, frigid, as the stinging wind brushed my cheeks,

I gained my way over the driveway, athwart the lawn - moving up the stone covered steps only to remark that the entries are open - not by much - but enough for me to notice.

I hastily glance around, but not a single being in eyesight, not even the house-elf's strolling throughout the garden.

They usually rush to welcome me, to carry my belongings, and direct me to my mother, but not now, not this time. This time the reticence greeted me,

I urge the great wooden doors open as a blast of dusty wind sails towards me - I seal my eyes locked, burying my head in my hands, avoiding the dust, and then everything shifted quietly again, the silence greeted me once more, a terrifying stillness - the prosperous castle held comatose, not a single flash of light brightened up our otherwise gracious and welcoming home,

I spin around in my prints, blenching back by the doors banging closed behind me - my eyes passed wide as the lock turned itself, '' What?'' I pant - grappling with locating my wand from my coat pocket, tensing my fist around it - something isn't precise.

'' Mother?'' I breathe out

Silence,

My eyes fluttering all over the shadowed entrance, '' Mother, are you here?''

Silence,

Not even my voice is rending in desperation echoes through the forsaken castle. I swallow thickly before using tender steps across the hall towards the lounge room, the floorboards squeaking below my shoes, a drowning sensation is showering over me - Draco was right - I shouldn't be here.

The salon keeps becoming more cryptic and more profound for each track that I'm taking - shivers bolting down my spine in fright. I peer over my shoulder, hoping that this is just a trick, that this isn't real.

That my mother is reaching out to scare me at any second - assuring me that all of this was simply one of her numerous stunts, but she's not - she's not coming. She's presumably not even here,

Fuck.

Why do I continue settling myself through this?

Why can't I merely listen to people when they're ordering me not to do something?

Why do I always have to be so fucking unreasonable.

I take my final steps, holding outside of the dining hall,

'' Mother, please.'' I mumble - locking my eyes closed, not ready to handle the reality that she's nowhere to be found, '' Please, please, please be in here.'' I plead to myself before pushing my shaking hands against the glass-doors, sensing the frosted glass score into my palms - exercising the deepest of breaths,

As the entries are crowded open, I free my sights - releasing my views to glace over the room,

Before I heave in shock - suffering my oxygen as my eyes are instantly settled on the man perching down at the table - his long greasy, blonde mane perfectly placed on his sharp shoulders - his harmful grey eyes narrowed straight into my innocent soul,

A devilish smile climbs his front the instant he clocks my terrified reaction, '' Miss Riddle, how pleasant of you to finally join us,'' He speaks, his hoarse voice causes me to cringe. I've shared various holidays with this man, however, every time his eyes match mine, he overawes me, more than he should, and he perceives that.

'' Lu-, Lucius-,'' I greet him - my tongue trembling on my terms as fluttering breaths pass my rims, '' What-, Where-,'' I stammer, clearing my throat '' Where is my mother?''

The cruel smile on his edges stretched even wider by my question as he slowly forces his chair back, producing an awful squeaking noise to cleave through my vessels, '' Why on gods earth would you think that your mother would be here?''

I held my face to turn in doubt - furrowing my eyebrows at the blond-haired man before me, '' The letter said-,''

'' Ah. I understand that you received my letter,'' Lucius beams, cutting me off.

'' I'm pleased to see that my wife is good for more than speaking tales these days.'' He scoffs - the smile that just painted his shell, vanished and the wrinkles in his forehead caught its place,

'' Your letter?'' I ask, quietly - still attaining in the doorway, my wand firmly gripped in my fist. '' What do you mean, your letter? I received a letter from my mother, not from-,'' A decreased gasp willed my lips when I caught on to what he meant - and by that, something inside of me snapped,

'' You filthy-,'' I raise through gritted teeth, taking prompt moves towards him, my wand pointing up at his throat. '' Tell me where she is, right now. ''

'' Filthy, you say.'' - satire tearing through his threatening voice '' I assume that you've been spending time with my son?'' He defies me - stretching for my wand with his forefinger, shoving it away from him before he lets out a peal of provoking hilarity, '' If you truly believe that you frighten me, young lady. You're as unwise as your mother.''

My body visibly tensed at his words - affecting my blood to boil, every nerve swelled with hatred - '' You should've seen the look on your mother's face when she was the one to march in here, looking for you.'' His voice hollowed,

The blood that was raging within me a moment ago instantly froze to ice - my whole front fell - I gulped, doing everything in my power to speak, but not a single word emerged my numbed lips - I look around in despair, my gaze exploring every inch of the largened room - striving to find her - seeking to see if she's in here,

'' She was very anxious to find you when she received your letter - informing her that you were the one in danger.'' - He's taking heavy steps around me, his cloak skimming upon the floor as his cane thumps the ground coarsely for every step he's taking, the horrible noise creates my form to quail,

And then - The most unbearable scream breaks through the walls,

My heart ceased the moment I recognized her voice, my mother.

My eyes rapidly clasped up to reach Lucius again, breaths hitched, '' Please.'' I blurted out, my courage abandoned me the second I caught her screech - taking a step in backward from him, but he locked his cane in front of my tracks,

'' Please,'' I beg, '' Please don't hurt her.'' I sense my eyes water, '' I will do anything you ask, please don't harm her, '' my whole self fracturing in hopelessness,

'' Excellent, that means that I hold your attention,'' He smiles, " Please, take a seat." - gesturing his hand towards the chair, '' And I will be holding on to that for the time being,'' He snatched my wand out of my hand without hesitation, leaving me exposed - not possessing a possibility to defend myself from what's about to occur,

But I serve him, without thought - descending onto the chair, turning my head to the blond-haired man before me, staring at him with doubting eyes. '' We have matters to discuss,''

With my startled frame turned to him - he hunkers down across the table, planting his cane and my wand on the board. I tasted the salty tears flowing down my pale cheeks, all the color drained from my profile as I caught her scream out for me again, my mother's throbbing voice rips through my hearings - but I can't do anything - I can't protect her.

'' How was detention?'' His voice vulgar in irony as he's drawing an even more probing stare from me,

My breathing flounder, '' No,'' I gasp, sensing my entire existing aching, '' He wouldn't,''

The thought of Draco repeatedly shouting '' This is my fault, this is my fault, this is my fucking fault,'' replays over and over and over in my mind,

Maybe he did?

'' Don't tell me that you truly believed that my son needed a tutor?'' He laughs, placing his hand on his chest in an attempt to soothe himself down, '' He performed his part well.''

I felt my face twist in disbelief as the hurt stains over me, '' Draco wouldn't do that,'' I utter, seeking to negate the truth that the boy I gave myself to - kenned about this.

'' Of course not, not now when his mind is affected by you - but before. He had no difficulty with being a part of our plan,'' He lectures, signing his pale, boney fingers fiddling with my wand,

He did,

He fucking did.

'' I will admit that you caught me by surprise, June.'' He grins, dumping my wand back onto the table as he dips back into his chair, '' I could never have guessed that my son would fall for your innocent self,''

My sights developed broad at his words, still staring the blond-haired man straight through his centers.

'' And don't be mistaken, you suit well for my son. I admire you, June.'' He mounts his voice, '' I admire the way you retain your darkness tamed within,'' He thrusts his seat back, clutching my wand into his pocket - practicing crawling steps - tracking his fingers over the table as he's obtaining his trail over to me,

'' Stop,'' I pause, tearing my sights away from his - my breaths shifting heavy, '' Please, just stop.'' He halts directly in front of me, planting a cutting grip on my shoulder, neglecting my shrug to evade his touch,

'' How do you manage all that darkness inside of you, knowing that my son betrayed you?'' Pure venom dripping off his tongue as he bows down to my level, feeling his sodden breaths against my surface.

'' You're more similar to your father than you'd choose to admit-,''

'' Stop.'' I roar, '' Stop, just stop.'' - my loud voice prompts him to step away from me - peering down at me in malice by my attitude. '' Your son means nothing to me, just like you will mean nothing to my father when I'm done with you.'' I threaten him, straining my chair back to confront his vice stare,

'' And I'm nothing like my father - In fact, I'm worse.'' I spat at his shocked features - my eyes stabbing through his, tired of feeling helpless, tired of not being able to protect my mother.

'' Speaking of your father, there's someone I'd like you to meet.'' He endangers, gawking evilly into my centers, he tends back - '' Someone that has been waiting a lasting time for this moment.''

I felt myself swallow, hard - comprehending what's about to occur. I clench my fist together even tighter, sensing my hands quivering as I suffered a tremulous breath,

Lucius tears away, marching quick steps towards the entrance, but I can't look - I can't think clearly - I shut my eyes closed, soaking back on the seat - pleading for my mother to be alright - I know that I would give my life for hers in a heartbeat, without a second thought.

No matter what's about to follow, everything I can wish for at this precise moment is that she'll be alright. I know that she will survive without me. She will live a long and peaceful life, for the two of us.

She and Narcissa will hold each other; they will have their tedious Sunday feasts - gossiping about everything and nothing. Luna and Hermione will be happy together - they will have Blaise to keep them in check - and all three of them can visit my mother over breaks so that she won't be alone. Drinking her beloved lemon tea and sharing tales about how I never made it to class in time or how I always manage to mess up my nail polish, and how me and Draco...

My heart pained by the thought of him, the feeling of his skin on mine, his touch sending my entire being to places that I didn't even know existed,

Draco - my sworn nemesis. The boy I was raised to despise with every bone in my body, the boy I hated more than anything in this universe - the boy who I found out betrayed me, in the worst imaginable way - is also the boy my heart beats for - the boy who was the love I never saw coming - the boy my drained soul arose to care for -

'' Stand up,'' Lucius roars across the room; my mind clocks back to being - his commanding voice is creating me to comply, raising from my seat as my whole body keeps trembling - planting my hands on the table before me - every possible thought spinning through my head,

I held my eyes seal again - nearly as if my body is attempting to preserve itself from what's to come, a wind of misty clouded blast cut through the dining hall - the massive windows in front of me is flung wide by the wind as the curtains almost rip off the bars - the crystals dangling in the roof tinkles,

I sense an ice-cold presence infiltrating the room - but I don't dare to force my eyes open; my whole figure is staggering -

Silence,

Complete silence as everything around me turned dark,

" My daughter, we meet at last."


	23. T w e n t y - o n e,

This chapter contains violent actions, please read with caution.

____________________

" My daughter, we meet at last."

Horror, death, fright,

Was all my mind could process as his tongue tore through my ears - the bearing around him was horrendous, vile, but still in an unusual form, soothing and familiar,

I didn't strive to open my centers thoroughly - I refuse to because it would signify that he was able to see the startling squint in my eyes, and I could never provide him the pleasure of fearing him,

Ever.

I felt his presence hovering around me - cramming me up and down, examining every detail embedded into my skin, each strand of hazel-brown locks resting on my shoulders. Then I held his touch, his ice-cold claw hunting over my cheek - the longspun nail scored into my tender skin.

The touch was biting, raw but yet sympathetic, warm - as if he could feel my every emotion through it,

" Look at me," His voice orders; his tone stayed observant, sharp but not ominous. " Open your eyes."

No,

No,

I can't,

I don't want to,

But I do - I have to, cautious of what he pleasures do to me if I don't comply,

I clock my sights broad open at his command as my heart halted, my veins turned in ice - facing the deemed eyes in front of me - he stared straight into my soul, his eyes saturated with hatred, merely as if he never felt love, in some way, it was similar to viewing a reflection, his eyes in mine -

The room around us had turned dull; his horrifying embrace coated the walls with malice, " Finally," he shouts as I signed my gaze to linger over his front. - his coat was colorless, nearly dusty as purple veins caressed his outside. I could sense his pants upon my skin, stabbing my pure act - searing cold, precisely similar to his touch.

" Speak," He charges, requiring to hear my voice - although not a single word equipped to fly my trembling rims - " I said, speak." He roars,

But I can't,

Not a single word could escape my lips,

I was too scared,

To horrified by his looks,

By his act,

I hear Lucius's strides, marching closer, " June, please." He begged at my silence, troubled about what my father's command do if I don't serve him.

" No," I huff out, catching the flutter I've been sustaining in for moments, " I won't do anything you ask of me until you take me to my mother,"

My fathers cover tensed at my terms - I could heed how much he loathed my disobedience; he caught one pace back, his cloak hauled behind him as he poured around - clutching a chair in a solid grip, inhaling sharply through his jaws, " You will do what I ask of you." He speaks, " When I ask it, do you understand?"

" No, not until you lead me to my mother," I declare, my voice bursting in the thought of my mother, and he revolves around, his optics reamed into mine as his hand grips around his wand - I cleared his patience, " Take her downstairs, Lucius," He says, steering towards the entries, my eyes wavered to the blond-haired man as he attains astonished - the confident manner he possessed a few moments ago - faded,

'' My lord-,'' Lucius pleads, seizing his cane in uncertainties, but the murderous stare my father is granting him with is enough for Lucius to back down - stiffly nodding towards my violent father,

'' Yes, my lord.'' Lucius swallows before snatching me by my arm, drawing me out of the dining hall; his hold around my arm tenses as he yanks me closer,

'' Behave, June.'' He grumbled into my hair as he dragged me athwart the corridor, below the stairs to the cellar,

'' You have no thought of what he's capable of,''

He shoved me away from him in the abandoned basement, producing me to flounder back on the rock-covered ground. My breaths chained by the sudden shift of environment - I haven't stayed down here in ages; it was hidden, drenched, and hardly a window insight - I loathed being down here, my mother frequently defined me from placing a foot below the stairwell,

I peered throughout the cellar in confusion, owning no trace of why we're down here - my eyes flicker back to Lucius, his eyes pleaded for mine, furnishing me a vicious look - almost as if he starved for my mercy as we heard steps wandering down the stairs, - I caught several steps back as my father makes his way down to us,

'' I don't tolerate being forced by a naive, little witch as yourself,'' My father speaks, using a last step of the stairs,

'' My daughter or not, this will teach you not to defy me,''

And by those words dropping off his edges, he studies me with brutal, inhuman eyes, '' Hold your breath, my dear,'' He laughs, unveiling his crooked teeth in a wicked smile - raising his wand in my path and before I knew the word of it, a green string cuts through my entire body - the feeling if a thousand daggers stabbing my soft skin entirely at once - the cutting sensing shredders within every vessel, every nerve,

My outcry felt senseless - I couldn't hear it - I held my lips, parting in struggles to squeal, to shout, to illustrate the torture shredding through me, but not a pitch willed them.

I sought to think about my mother, the way she always greets me when I step through the doors, how mighty I embrace her every time we've been apart - striving to visualize how it felt to have Luna's encouraging arms coiled around me, or how her stupid remarks cause me to laugh so much that tears escape my centers, but nothing - I can't feel anything except the agony my father is inserting me through -

I sought to imagine how it felt when Draco's lips strained onto mine, how the passion rushed through my variety when his lips caressed mine - how I blush every time he assures me he despises me, knowing that he means the definite opposite, - At this moment I would do anything to block the pain out,

It hurts,

It hurts more than I ever imagined that anything could hurt,

I heaved for oxygen, but I couldn't feel my breaths anymore - a massive feeling ambushed my chest as my hands darted to grasp my throat, my nails boring into the delicate skin to feel something, to breathe - the stinging sensation clamped around my heart. Even if I did everything possible not to, it spurred me to drop to my knees.

The ground scraped against my surface - my already bruised palms clasped every rock on the basis, seeking to taste something different than the pain, attempting to find my strength - I was trapped inside myself, paralyzed by my fathers spell - holding no possibility to escape his evil act,

He hated me,

My father hated me,

Maybe it was because I looked like my mother,

I talked like my mother,

I reminded him too much of my mother,

So he had to punish me for it,

After moments of unbearable cruelty, he finally split his wand away, causing me to obtain my missing breath as I collapsed utterly to the ground,

'' Stupid girl,'' My father seethed at me, awarding me the most despicable of looks, before looping around, stomping up the stairs again - I laid motionless in the icy vault, pulling my knees up to my chest, hugging myself - not aspiring to do anything else to upset him, not wanting to be tortured once more - my entire body was quivering, my lips shivering as the tears drowned down my flushed cheeks, it hurts - everything hurts,

I hate it,

I hate him,

I hate everything that has something to do with him,

But most of all,

I hated myself,

I hated myself for revealing weakness - but nothing else was possible at this moment - the endeavor of my fathers dark magic caused me to whimper, regret showering over me as I work to conceive my breaths,

'' You need to stand up, right now - he won't hesitate to return.'' Lucius rustles as he takes immediate steps to my vulnerable figure, bowing down beside me, '' Stand up.'' He threatens me, alarmed that my father wishes to punish me again,

And I do; I urge my palms toward the ground, faltering up on my feet again, feeling his cold hand holding me for support - doing everything in my ability not to look at Lucius, sealing my eyes closed,

The stinging sensation grows in my chest when I hear my father's tracks above us again, '' What did he do?'' I blow, doubling in a struggle to relieve the pain, '' Why does it hurt?'' I whine before my mind fastens back to presence,

I've read about this, the green chain of light shattering through the body in an attempt to divide a soul in half; my eyes immediately snapped up to Lucius as I stand level, '' Tell me he didn't.'' I utter, grasping at my chest with my aching hands, '' Tell me he didn't manage to split my soul in two-,''

'' No.'' Lucius grouses - that's why my father marched away, he wasn't competent off splitting my soul in two, '' He's not worthy to break your soul - yet.'' His hand brushing against his keen nose - twisting his face, '' But believe me, Miss Riddle. He will be back, and he will try again.'' He tows his collar nervously, scrutinizing down at my shaking figure,

'' How? How could he-,''

'' Your soul is too pure, June. Your mind is inexperienced-,'' He begins, before holding his breath - gloom is rending through his devilish grey eyes, '' The dark lord will execute this sort of magic on Draco as well.''

No,

No,

This can't be happening,

This can't be true,

Not Draco,

His words send me into a state of panic - even if I was heartbroken by Draco's deeds, he didn't deserve this torture, the unbearable strain I went through - I wouldn't wish that ache on my worst enemy, and particularly not Draco.

My heart ached by the thought of his eyes matching mine, the way my undivided self lacked his touch at this moment,

I missed him,

So much at this moment,

His skin on mine,

I hated him,

But I missed him even more,

'' No, he can't handle it.'' I speak, taking a step back from him, '' He's not strong enough - we have to do something-,''

I have to do something,

'' Don't you think I know that?'' He explodes at my frightened front, launching his arms out in the air, shaking his head at me, '' I am well aware of how my son would react to this'' His words causes me to swallow, clearing my throat,

'' Of course," I argue back, '' I don't want Draco to get hurt any more than you do,'' I possess my sentence, remarking the pain in his eyes - he loves his son, he would never confess to it, and would never speak it out loud, but he does love his son.

'' Is there anything-,'' I urge, but he learned my mind long before I had the chance to settle my sentence; he turned from me, exercising heavy steps towards the stairs,

'' No. The dark lord has decided this,'' He sighs, '' We don't know when, but it will be soon enough.'' - hesitating in the doorway, as he peers over his shoulder to look at me,

I can't let this happen,

He's not ready,

" I will come to collect you when you're needed,"

I solely nod as an answer, tasting my whole purpose being clouded by what we just conversed.

There has to be something we can do - something I can do to prevent this. In the last letter, Narcissa penned that she had concerns about her son and the truth that my father craved him to shift a death eater - and I shared that anxiety with her,

I can't lose him,

I need him,

Draco wasn't fit for this, even if he acted ominously - it was all an act, he's too pure for this, his soul is too emotional to go through this.

I always deemed him to be cruel and heartless, and he is - he truly is - but still caring for the people dearest to him, he's protective in the most heeding way - he's passionate though his touch - he's always malicious through his words - his touch never lies.

Not to me,

His touch never lied to me,

The way he touches me - the way his skin felt mine caused my whole presence to melt in a heartbeat,

Fuck,

Why do I keep putting myself through this -

I can't feel this way about Draco,

But I can't resist him either,

I need him.

I slid down against one of the pillars, permitting a huff as I'm sensing my bruised chest with my trembling fingers - it still hurts - I'm not quite sure of what hurts, if it is the longing for the blond-haired boy - the solicitude for my mother or the pain of the crucifixion,

" June." A hoarse voice yells from overhead, breaking through my clouded mind - I force myself off the floor, taking keen trails towards the stairs as I sense a peal of relief washing over me - I train up the dimmed stairs, finding my way over the darkened castle - taking a distant breath, terrified to confront my father again,

But I didn't - that's what produced the feeling of relief earlier - he's gone, everything sparked the instant he retreated our castle, the vague hovering embrace my father brought vanished as he left.

My mind went orderly to my mother; my eyes wavered over the room, reaming into Lucius's firm figure, bending with both hands planted over the dining room table, " My mother?" I falter, seeking to stand tall, to encourage myself, but it's difficult when I keep hearing is her outcries, soring through my vessels,

" She's not here. She never was," Lucius speaks - lifting a brow, " You need to stop being easily deceived, June." He twists around to seize my wand out of his pocket, setting it on the table,

She wasn't here,

Of course, she wasn't.

And as soon as he does - I clutch it in my fist - spinning around in my steps as I ran.

I ran as fast as I possibly could, away from my home. I caught Lucius call out for me as I continued, but I didn't bother because my mother wasn't here -

She was safe,

I leap out of the castle, into the woods encircling it, plunging around between all the different trees and greenery, trying to find some peace of mind, but all thoughts imaginable is hastening through my head,

I wasn't surprised that my father and Lucius used my mother to get their way - they played me to get what they coveted, to use me as a pawn in their wicked way to split my soul in two - anger building up within me as I think about it, my father did this to me; he harmed me - and I didn't feel sufficient telling anyone about this,

I realize why my mother disappeared now, why she took everything and left because he owned no limits, he was the devil in human shape -

He was the devil himself,

All I can wish for while walking through the woods - feeling branches scratching my bare legs - is to be with the one spirit that could earn me peace at this time,

____________________

I flounder over the courtyard as the eclipse diminished over Hogwarts - the sun departed hours ago, and as soon as it did, everything shifted cold - that October, biting air prickled into my cheeks as I caught faint footsteps,

" Oh, my-, June," Luna calls for me, across the yard, the breezes hauling into every piece of my clothing as she rushes closer - her blond, nearly white curls are whirling free in the blow around her,

She's beautiful,

The warmth caressing her,

The safety surrounding her,

Her highlights dropped the moment she placed her sights on me, scanning the dried tears painting my pale cheeks - my hair tangled from tugging at it in hopelessness - my clothes disordered -

" June," She pants out again before wrapping her arms around me, and once I welcomed her embrace, the warmth of being near her - I sank to my knees, repeated sobs shook my lips. I buried my head in the curve of her neck - allowing her to hold me,

This is where I strived to be,

With her,

She repeatedly asked me what happened - where I've been - but I couldn't answer her - all I let out was my plaints, my aching sobs and she turned quiet - she didn't urge anything else - she didn't force me to explain what had passed when I was missing,

She merely hugged me as I suffered all of my emotions, stroking my back - tucking my hair behind my ear in the ice-cold nightfall. I felt the bricks burning into my uncovered knees,

She propped me up - encircled her arm under mine to help me walk indoors. She granted me the most humble glimpses as I tended against her shoulder, finding our way to the Ravenclaw tower. My eyes fluttered over all the students around us, providing us with skeptical stares - I felt insecure, ashamed, and small due to what happened with my father; even if I knew that no one else kens about this, it still bothers me - knowing that I'm marked.

Marked by him,

The man I despised more than anything,

And just as we stepped around a corner, a cold hand coiled mine, yanking me back - I could recognize his touch without seeing him.

He's here,

He found me,

The boy my whole existence craved for,

" What the fuck-," He rises, but immediately locked speechless when he saw the shape I was in - the swollen red eyes from crying, the cuts on my neck I caused when trying to survive the spell my father cast - his eyes softened as they found their way down my thighs, seeing the scratches on my legs,

" Leave her alone, Malfoy." Luna shouts in his profile, but he doesn't blench; he merely keeps his eyes bolted in mine as his grasp of my wrist slackens " Leave Draco. She has been through enough; we don't need you to-,"

" Why did you leave?" He roars, possessing no control over his emotions, '' You fucking promised that you wouldn't leave,'' He stretched, neglecting Luna's attempts to speak; her impatience with him became evident as she turned around to face me again, her eyes begging mine to leave,

But I can't,

I can't leave him,

I just got him back,

I glanced up at him as I swallowed thickly, striving to find the courage within me, " Did you know?" I question him, drawing a startled look from his offensive form - sensing my eyes water by the thought of the pain my father put me through, " Did you know what he planned to do with me?"

I had to know,

I had to know the truth,

I needed to.

His sights increased at my terms, guilt growing all over him before he shreds his centers away, jaws clenched,

No,

No,

He couldn't,

" Did you know he tortured me?" I utter again, holding the tears gushing down my cheeks, " Did you know he tried to rip my soul in two?"

" Enough," He shouts, forcing me back from Luna, " That's fucking enough." He quotes himself, his nostrils visibly flaring as heated, minty breaths escape them through sharp pants,

I gawk into his eyes for a fleeting moment, seeking to learn if he truly knew what my father had in mind,

" June," Luna puffs again, and my neck quickly locked to her - forgetting that she stood there to listen to what I spoke about my father, and then something happened that I haven't viewed in ages - her eyes rose to pool - small paths of clear, precise drops ruched down her slightly flushed skin,

" What did he do?" She murmurs, trying to hide the breaking voice fleeing her quivering edges.

I wrapped my arms around her, squeezing her delicate shape close to mine, " I'm sorry - I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you - I should've," She whines amidst her tears, " I should've been there for you,"

No,

I'm sorry,

I'm so fucking sorry for always putting you through this,

For always messing up,

Leaving myself for you to clean up,

I'm the sorry one,

I signed my hand's stroke over her white hair; my fingers untangled her ends, " It's not your fault," I whisper into her head, hugging her even closer, " It's mine - I shouldn't have left,"

" I'm so sorry,"

And just as I thought to leave Draco behind, taking Luna back to her room - Hermione hurried up to us, she witnessed the look on her sweethearts front. Hermione didn't pronounce a word; her eyes simply shot between Luna's and mine, startled by what she just heeded,

" Take her to her room. I'll be there shortly," I speak - Hermione agrees and does as I tell, leaving me and the blonde one alone in the corridor. I meet his eyes again - they haven't left mine in minutes; his eyes always sought to find my blue ones,

His eyes,

They could either raise you to the skies,

Or bring you down to hell,

" Did you know?" I ask, using a step back from the boy before me - and he lets his gaze travel all over my figure, scrutinizing the tears on my skirt - the way my father's nail willed a red, bleeding mark on my skin and then, he sees my palms, how I once again forced my nails into the skin,

'' June,''

''No,'' I speak, my eyes narrowed in his,

'' Answer me. Did you know?''

'' Do you truly believe that I would let you go if I did?'' He finally reveals, his eyes bolting through mine, as his whole self drained - me leaving him, even when I promised him not to, took a toll on him. He looked bewildered, tiered, but still relieved that I'm home,

With him,

And there's no way he'll ever let me go again,

We stand there, an inch from each other, in complete silence.

I know that Draco needs to ask me about what happened - what my father did - how I was feeling - if I was hurt -

But he didn't - he didn't prize how-to, and I don't blame him for that - I can't hold that against him,

He wasn't raised the way I was; he never learned how to express his feelings - if he had any,

I think he does - I think he has plenty of feelings trapped inside his pale crest - that needs to get out before he explodes,

I have to tell him,

What his father told me,

'' I hate you for what you did.'' I admit, seeing his darkened brows groove at my words, '' I know what you did.''

He looks at me for a fleeting moment, trying to figure out what he'd been lying about this time until he grasped it,

His sights fell to the ground in humiliation; he didn't dare to look at me when I exposed him for his actions earlier this year,

'' It was different then,'' He mumbles, shrugging his shoulders before he peers back at me, '' We didn't-, I didn't-,''

My silence speaks for itself - I'm tired of him being dishonest - I'm tired of him hiding truths for me,

" You always do this - you always put meaning in my words," He shouts out of the blue, frustrated with me, " You always fucking do this."

He's UNBELIEVABLE,

I look at him as anger boiling through my veins, " What, Draco? What is it this time?" I shout back, feeling my temper failing me, " How is this my fucking fault?"

" You lied to me - You used me - and for what? To please my father? To please yours?''

With those words leaving my lips, he shoves me against the wall, thrusting his tensed frame against mine, " Shut the fuck up, right now."

His breaths became uneven in difficulty, the veins rising to caress his neck, '' Don't you dare put words in my mouth.''

" No,"

"No?"

I look at him with burning eyes, his lips close to mine, the tension throbbing around us, " No - I won't shut up - because you are the one who always does this.''

He rose a brow as he looked at me; his blue sights darted between my eyes and lips - his teeth gritted,

'' Fuck,'' He groans, changing around to strike his fist into the wall behind me - still trapped between his arms,

'' Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.'' He shouts, as his knuckles repeatedly collide with the wall, paths of blood stained his black suit jacket,

'' Draco, stop.'' I whimper, sensing the pool in my eyes to water up once more as I take a step towards him, stirring his shoulders back, '' Please, please stop.'' I beg, and he complies,

He shifts in his actions, peering at me with despairing eyes,

'' I'm fucking sorry - I never meant-,''

'' I don't want to hear it,'' I look up at him with honest eyes, not owning the strength to go through this again, '' I'm sorry, but I can't do this-,''

'' Please,'' The blonde boy pleaded, spreading his bruised knuckles over his hair, his hand traveling down to grip his chin, '' Fuck,'' He curses again, looking around us before he bends down to my level, closing the longing space between us,

''Please, meet me in the morning,'' He breaths close to my lips, minty pants fanning my skin, '' Your study spot, by the tree.'' I glance at him with hesitation written all over my features,

'' Please,''

" I have to tell you something,"


	24. T w e n t y - t w o,

This chapter contains mature content,

___________________

Draco Malfoy;

I didn't hold the depth in straining my eyes open to look at her, to see her innocent face - I was exhausted; this was the first time I slept, a real deep sleep in months - I sought my hands to drag her warm body closer to mine, too sense that harmless, gentle comfort she always hugged me with,

Fuck,

I clocked my centers open, feeling nothing but her cold pillow beside me - gazing over the empty bed,

I woke up in her room, alone.

Fucking alone.

I prized she was going to do this - she never fucking listens to me. I attempted to stay awake. I did everything imaginable not to fall asleep, but I couldn't - it was not possible when I had her so close to me, her head ceased so tranquility on my chest - her warmth caused me to feel this peace - a peace I haven't sensed in ages, and in some way, I didn't despise her for it, how could I?

I hurried out of her room - getting clothed as I went, scrunching the pathetic excuse of an apology she had left behind in between my fingers,

A note?

Really?

Holding each stare of all the pathetic Ravenclaw fools gawking at me as I sped by, of course, these bloody nerds are up at this hour, don't they have a life? - As I reached the door, I crashed into her best friend - She watched me with big eyes, remarking my shirt being partly unbuttoned, '' Where is she?'' I seethed through gritted teeth, feeling my temper leaving me,

'' What?'' Luna uttered with challenging tastes, '' Who, June?''

'' Aren't you in fucking Ravenclaw, Luna?'' I felt my stomach twist in an unfamiliar way, '' Who the fuck do you think I'm talking about?''

She simply scoffed at me, '' Did you scare her away again? Because I swear to god, Malfoy, if you did something to hurt her, I will-,'' But before she possessed the opportunity to finish her sentence - I had already roared off, hurrying down the cursed stairs,

I gained the way back to my common room, headed undeviatingly to Blaise's dorm - without another heed - I booted his door in, provoking my best friend to launch himself out of bed,

'' What the fuck-,''

'' Where is she?'' I speak - my blood steaming within me, '' Do you know if she left?'' His look curved at my words as he reeled his head,

'' June?'' He utters, sounding drunken from snoring a few moments ago, stretching for his shirt to drag over his bronzed upper body, '' Yes, she was here late last night, why? Did she leave?'' I felt a drowning emotion at his words,

Why would she come to see him but leave without speaking a word to me?

Fucking mudblood,

Whore,

Everything I ever dared to call her, she is.

At this moment, she is.

'' What did she want?'' I ask, setting my elbow to rest on his dresser - feeling annoyed with myself for acting nosey, but the stinging feeling of envy is burning through my veins of her going to him instead of me.

'' She just left this,'' He strains to pick out a letter from his nightstand, '' She said to hold on to this, and to give it to Luna if she didn't come to see me before tonight," My eyes instantly locked to the envelope resting in his hand, and before I grasped what I was doing, I snatched it from his hands,

'' Draco,'' He pauses, staring at me with searching eyes, his jaw dropped - striving to decide what I was up to, '' That's not for you.''

'' I don't care.'' and with that, I stormed out of his room, neglecting the fact that he yelled for me - stepping up the stairs to my room before slamming the door shut behind me,

My breaths hitched, by the sight of her letter, resting in my palm.

My heart ached,

It scented just like her - the rich coconut and fresh floral fragrance she always carried; it was truly mesmerizing, and you could smell it perfectly in the crook of her neck - the most delicate part of her entire body was that courteous, perfect crook,

Fuck, I miss her,

I ripped the corners of the envelope off before shredding the letter out with might,

''

My dearest Luna,

I am about to do something,

something foolish,

something you would have stopped me from doing,

but I have to.

I have to know if my mother is safe, that my father didn't lay a hand on her,

I know that I'm most likely to walk into a trap, but who would I be if I didn't make sure that she was okay?

Who would I be if I let something happened to her?

But it is stupid,

so fucking stupid,

That's why I couldn't share this with you, that's why I left this letter with Blaise.

Because I know that you would be the one to stop me from going,

I need you to promise that you won't hate me if I don't come back,

That you will take care of Hermione and Blaise and that you will tell Draco that I'm sorry for leaving him,

But if I do -

if I do come back, I will be the one to promise you something,

I will promise to tell you everything,

I pinky swear,

I'm sorry,

I love you,

June.

''

I felt my breaths devising my lungs; the suffering of oxygen is baffling - a heavy feeling crawling in my chest as I read her words, over

and over

and over again,

She knew,

She fucking knew what she was getting herself into, and she did it anyway; that's so typical of her.

She always does this; she always put herself at risk for everyone else,

I hate her,

I hate her so much for lying, for leaving me.

'' Fuck'' I groan out, throwing the letter to the ground, reaching down in my pocket to find the little scrunched up note she left me with,

'' I'm sorry, please forgive me,''

That's all she wrote - what if her father did something to her - then she would have left me, without anything - I pace around in my room, grabbing a vase off my bookshelf, hurling it into the wall before me - shouting - cursing - feeling the dread cutting through every nerve in my body,

The panic of losing her before I even had her,

Why do I feel like this? Why do I even care?

It was deemed to be one assignment, a task to get her to see her father - but the instant I watched her study that stormy August night in the library, I knew I couldn't do it - the way she tucked her hazel-brown hair behind her ear - how she scrunched her nose to conceal that gorgeous smile of hers as she read something funny - how her scent overwhelmed my whole being,

She was too bright for me - and after seeing that bloody blood traitor Diggory, fuck her - the way I wanted to fuck her, catching her moan his name instead of mine - I couldn't linger away, and I resented her for doing that to me - I needed her,

I never felt this way before - I resented her growing up - I continually sought to get her into trouble because my mother minded for her more than she ever did for me, and that set me off. Every time she visited the Manor, I craved for her to leave; she was a filthy blood traitor and the daughter of Voldemort himself - I wanted nothing to do with her, and then, she grew up. She deliberately changed into a pleasing young woman, which simply produced me to loathe her even more. She was beautiful - caring - gracious. Everything I was drawn to - she was,

I was not too fond of the force she had on me, even when she slapped me in the great hall the following day after catching her fucking Diggory - I craved to kill her for embarrassing me - but I couldn't.

The moment I beheld her eyes pooling, it was over.

I was hooked,

And I swore to myself not to be a part of my father's wicked plan anymore,

All I ever did was to protect her; every deed, every word - was to keep her safe from my father, her father,

And from myself.

The evening her mother went missing - I cried.

I haven't cried in ages, but I did for her.

Witnessing her lifeless, unconscious shape in my limbs as I brought her to the infirmary after my mother hurled for me was too much,

I couldn't risk losing her, and then she woke up,

Only to let all of her emotions out on me, and that's when it cleared - that I couldn't be with her,

I didn't deserve her,

Because I did this to her - and yet, I couldn't manage myself to stay away.

She was irresistible - the way she spoke, the way she laughed, the way her smile was capable of lighting up an entire room, the way she fucking tasted, the way my hand grew warm in hers, the way her lips touched my lips when she kissed me, the way she always halted her chin in her hand when she was paying attention, the way her skirt slipped up when she squatted down, revealing her pale, flawless thighs, the way she worried for people - the way she worried for me - everything about her,

This wasn't about what I wanted anymore; this was about what I needed,

And I needed her,

________

The moment I stepped into the classroom, my eyes immediately caught her seat - but she wasn't there because she fucking left. It was with onerous tracks I strolled up to my chair, taking a center next to Blaise as he's providing me an annoyed look,

'' My door, Draco. You have to fix it,'' He sighs, hearing the irritation in his voice as I rolled my eyes at him, '' Don't be a dick, just fix it.''

'' You're a real pain in the ass, you know that, Zabini?'' I exhale, leaning back in my position, feeling him poking me to the side, '' What?'' I seethed,

'' Did you read her letter?'' He rustled, remarking professor Snape entering the room, and my eyes snapped to Blaise's - I could feel the rage brewing up within by him speaking about her,

'' No,''

'' Don't lie to me, Malfoy.'' He grumbles, nearly signing out a chuckle, '' I know you read it. What other explanation would you have for being this rude? Where did she go?''

'' Mind your damn business, Blaise.'' I hissed, more strident this time, narrowing my tastes in his, '' It has nothing to do with you, stay out of it.''

My eyes fluttered back to her seat, out of reflex, wishing that she would've walked in, hoping that she wouldn't have left, but of course, her seat was vacant - just like I was,

'' She is my business, Draco.'' He lectures - I felt myself gulp, thickly - doing everything in my ability not to punch him in his face, '' She's my friend too.''

'' No, she's not, she's not your fucking friend - and she's not my friend either. I'm not telling you again. Stay out of it.'' I glance down in my book, holding every nerve in my body on edge.

Remembering last night - How fucking perfect she looked, standing exposed in the shower as the water flowed over her - how good it felt when her nails dug into my back while fucking her - how starved I was for more when I laid near to her in her bed.

'' Mr. Malfoy.'' I hear Snape call for me, bursting out of my daydreaming, '' You have been excused.'' I peer around, puzzled as to why he would say that, sensing everyone gawking at me as I launch my chair back, marching out of the classroom,

I slam the door behind me, catching a few strides before I learn her voice,

'' Dear, I need to speak with you.''

'' Mother?'' I ask, turning around, mixed in my footsteps, '' What are you-,''

'' Not here,'' She hews me off before she spins around, walking towards the building entrance. I followed her with immediate steps as she urges outside - I face my mother's sights as she swifts around to confront me, '' What have you done, Draco?'' She uttered softly, but the disappointment sliced through her formal tone - I could perceive it in her eyes, she was bothered with me,

'' I don't know-,''

'' June, Draco.'' The second my mother vocalized her name, that twisting sensation in my stomach returned, '' What did you do, son?''

'' Mother, I-,'' I breathe out before my views lowered to the ground; I didn't own the nerve to look at her - prizing what I've done, because I know how much June means to my mother; she has cared for June her whole life.

I told her - I told her everything about my father's plans for me to get close to her, to trap her into meeting her father. I also informed her how I later did everything to protect her - to keep her safe, and then - then I told her how I failed because she left anyway.

My mother was dissatisfied with me, to say at least. She was overthrown by the fact that my father arranged to deceive her -

'' Where is she now?'' She charges, her mature figure slumped at her words because she did everything conceivable to make sure that the dark lord wouldn't get his hands on June,

'' The letter told her to go home; she left late last night,'' I spoke, truthfully as I glance up at my mother, remarking her hair being cluttered; her front turned more drained by everything she just uncovered. I split my sights away again, feeling ashamed for what I've caused.

'' Draco, you did everything precisely. There was not a single thing you could have done to make her stay; she made up her mind the second she read that letter.'' My mother encouraged me, and I smile rose on her red flares, '' I'm confident that she meant no harm in lying to you.''

" What will the dark lord do to her?" I ask apprehensively, my hand hunting to haul my tie,

" I don't think-,"

" Tell me."

She grants out a loud sigh at my words, " The dark lord is capable of many things, Draco." She speaks, striving to soothe her pain. I can see how hard this is on her, " I believe he will seek to split her soul in order to-," My face crumpled at her terms, how frightful it sounded, to split her soul.

To split her beautiful, harmless soul - I felt my eyes water, '' To?'' I utter, pressing my lips into a firm line, not needing her to see them quivering.

She looks at me with kind eyes - her hands falling to straighten her already accurate dress - She's nervous.

'' In order to make her a death eater, Draco.''

Right there and then - I suffered my flutters ultimately, taking a step back to lean against the brick wall - my head fell as every image of her clouded my mind - anyone but her, please, they can't do this to her.

" But I'm certain that the dark lord won't manage to do so; she's too pure, she has never harmed another human, and that the only way to do so."

I hated myself for showing my mother weakness,

'' It's her fault. She left me, and she lied, mother.'' I argue, forcing myself off the wall as my blood started to boil by the thought of it. How could she do this?

'' And I don't care, she can do whatever she pleases.'' My mother tended in, coiling her arms around me, and my hatred faded in her hold - that's something my mother's embrace always caused me to do - to be vulnerable - exposed - weak - to feel - just like June did.

'' You are entitled to love her, Draco.'' She whispers into my ear, hugging me tighter, '' There is no shame in falling in love with someone - to mind about someone. I think it's about time that you hold someone to worry for.'' She continues, tending away to stroke some of my hair off my temples, '' I'm pleased that it's June. She truly is astonishing,''

She truly is.

My mother takes a step back, releasing her gaze to fall all over me before her hands attend my collar, straightening my tie, '' You know, son. They say that the kindest souls have been through the worst pain - and I couldn't say it better myself.''

'' June has been through much, more than you can even begin to imagine, and I'm convinced that she needs you too.''

Her words left me speechless - they applied utterly in on her - she truly was broken - just like me.

How is that?

That two broken souls fit perfectly into one?

'' Mother, I don't love her,'' I lied, not even convinced about what love means - how do you love someone when you're not worthy of loving yourself?

Do I love her?

'' Keep lying to yourself, my dear.'' She smiles, bowing her head in a graceful act, '' I will see you soon,'' She speaks, before looping around to wander away from me, leaving me bewildered and revealed in my thoughts.

_____________

This day has so far been the most hurtful in my life, not prizing if she's alright, not kenning if he managed to turn her into a death eater, or worse - not knowing if he killed her.

She grasped that she shouldn't have left, she knew that she could get hurt, and still, she fucking left,

She fucking promised me,

And she lied.

I can't get over the truth that she lied to me - even if I would forgive her in a heartbeat,

I tread within my room - feeling the walls closing in one me - tugging my hair, shirt, tie - everything possible - my nerves crawled inside of me,

I felt so restless, so anxious, so fearful - I'm scared for her,

I didn't contrive to go back to class after my mother left. I didn't want to; all my mind sought to think about was her - the girl that tore through my barrier, the girl that got under my skin without even trying.

I winced by the noise of beating on my door, shredding it open with force,

'' Hermione?'' I urge her, shocked by the expression on her face - shocked of why she was standing in my doorway. '' What the fuck are you doing here? ''

I felt my face twist in disgust of her standing close to me, fucking mudblood.

She trembles her head, out of breath as he leaned against my doorframe, '' Luna found her,''

My heart shattered; what does she mean by found her?

I swallowed thickly, batting my eyes quickly, striving to form words to speak,

'' She's okay.''

And by those terms - I shouldered myself past her as I brushed the fabric of my suit of, in the place my shoulder touched Hermione's - pouring out in the hallways, hunting for her slender figure.

I searched everywhere, in every hall - every corridor - every bathroom - and then,

I eyed her, and complete warmth rushed through my every vessel.

She walked next to Luna. My heart attained it's beat again - by the look of her, seeing her pure form, her mesmerizing centers, the way her brown hair falls perfectly over her pale skin, after nearly twenty-four hours of suffering -

It struck me, like a train at high speed -

I love her.

________________________

June;

He begged, and pleaded and then urged some more for me to join him in the morningtide,

And even if I desired to, even if it was all my body craved for - I was reluctant, doubtful, because he has done so much to hurt me, and I can't endure to find out about more -

It would break me,

I forced myself off the bed, catching heavy steps into the bathroom - peering at my reflection in the mirror - I seemed numb, lifeless, broken - dark circles surrounding my eyes as the share of my father's touch tore a cut through my skin,

I gave the whole night sobbing into Luna's chest, just as she cried into mine - I ended up telling her everything, and with that I mean everything,

Everything that I've retained from her these prior moons, and it would be an understatement to say that she was flustered with me,

She was infuriated.

Furious at me for not speaking to her, for holding her in the dark about these things, and I don't blame her - if she was the one to be this dishonest with me - I would have smothered her.

I felt a sinking feeling embracing me - spreading my fingers through my hair, exposing the marks on my neck from yesterday - I can still sense the pain in my chest from my father's efforts, the struggle to split my soul in two,

It seemed similar to a dream, merely as if non of it was real, but it was - and I owned the scores to prove it,

I hugged myself, still staring into my reflection - I loathed myself,

I cursed myself for what I'd become, for everything that's passed these last months - even if I didn't have a choice in most of it - I hated myself for it - I turned the water to my shower on, yet determining if I should meet Draco or not.

'' I have to tell you something,''

What can he possibly say that he hasn't told already -

My head clocked out of the cloudiness by the bulky poundings on my door - I slipped my silky robe on before sprinting out of the bathroom to the door - as I unlocked the holder,

The door thumped open,

I faced his fierce blue eyes, seeing his nostrils flaring in violence, '' You didn't show.'' He spat at my startled front, clenching his jaws to my appearance - I swift around to glance at my watch on the nightstand, fuck, a courter past eight,

'' I'm sorry, I thought-,''

'' You thought, what? That you could go back to ignoring me?'' He shouts as he thrusts himself past me, marching into my room. I immediately sealed the door behind him - I felt terrible, viewing his tall figure holding there, in front of me - in his school uniform looking more handsome than ever,

I missed his touch,

'' No, don't say that, Draco.'' I utter, tasting petite by his attitude, '' I thought the time was-,'' I signed out a loud huff, grasping he won't believe me no matter what I speak - instead, I catch faltering steps towards him, boring my eyes into his as I go,

I sneak my arms underneath his robe, barring them around his chest, '' I'm sorry - I was on my way.'' I whispered, resting my head onto his chest- sensing his entire figure melt at that, by my touch - he throws his books on my bed before sheathing his arms around me, hugging me back - warmth, that was all my body filled up with, the warmth of him.

We attain like that, for moments - holding each other, feeling his head ceasing on mine,

It brought my entire being to harmony,

To a well-needed harmony,

'' I missed you,'' He grumbles, as I felt his hold tensing around me, his back muscles clenching beneath my palms - his words created butterflies to swirl around my abdomen,

'' I missed you too,'' I spoke, truthfully,

I did,

I missed him so much,

I did, for some rare reason - I didn't hold resentment towards him, I craved him, every time he wasn't around, I needed him,

I manage back, facing his piercing stare once again - this wasn't like Draco - he never touched me softly, he always served to me with such force, heat - but not now, this - this was thoughtful, gentle - his cold fingers stroked against my flushed cheek as he tucked some hair behind my ear. He tilted his head, looking at me with wide eyes - his gaze explored all over my features, studying every detail before he bowed down to plant a kiss on my lips,

And without a doubt - I found myself kissing him back, his tongue strived to find mine - his other hand served my waist, slowly drawing me closer to him, deepening our kiss,

'' Don't ever leave me again,'' He puffed into my severed lips as I hauled away, perceiving the desperation shredding within his enchanting eyes, his eyebrows furrowed, '' Promise me,''

I lightly nod, '' I promise, ''

'' I don't believe you,'' He mumbles, tensing his jaws, earing a guilty look from me - I don't blame him - I promised him I wouldn't leave, and although I did - he had all right not to trust me,

'' Here,'' I smile, stretching my arms away from him, reaching for his hand. '' I pinky swear,'' - I intertwine his little finger with mine, raising them to my lips, setting a soft peck on both of our braided fingers. His eyes grew, and a smile spreads on his front at that - not the typical Draco Malfoy smirk he usually grants me with, this was a genuine smile, an honest one,

'' I promise, Draco.''

He endures there, with one hand stubbornly glued to my waist, but he doesn't speak a word - presumably not knowing what to say,

'' Luna always does this, every time she wants me to promise her something, not just promise - you know, a promise, promise - a real one, she always makes me pinky swear, and now - I promise you, not to leave you again, '' A chuckle escapes his edges,

His optics flicker up to mine, gently nodding as a grimace overdue the handsome smile he just held, '' You are something else, June.''

I felt my face twist at his words - my dimples revealed in a cheeky smile, '' Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?''

He rends his centers away, huffing at my question, '' Maybe a bit of both?''

'' Acceptable,'' I laugh, reaching on my toes to touch his lips again, and he caressed them in the most magical way - our kiss strained more rooted, more desirous - both of us craving more,

I allowed his finger to slide out of mine as he dragged my closer, towing my waist, running his hands all over my silky robe - I clung my arms around his neck, sensing his chest breathing heavily against mine, still buried in our kiss,

'' Fuck,'' He groans, hauling away as he narrowed his eyes in mine. I let my tongue run over my swelled lips, collecting the mess he created,

I let out a grin as I felt his throbbing bulge against my skin - sucking my bottom lip in between my teeth, '' Don't do that,'' He spoke, his eyes darting down to my lips,

'' And why, may I ask?'' I teased him, doing it once more as I batted my eyelashes at him, hungry for his touch,

'' That's it.'' He spits before forcing me back, causing me to stumble onto my bed - without a word, he stripped me naked, and then himself - I gasped as the cold air embraced my warm skin, he threw our clothes away - shoving his books off the bed.

He gawked at my exposed body, his eyes clocked to the mark on my chest that was left by my father's spell - his complete expression dropped as his jaws tensed,

I propped myself up, wrapping my hands around his face, feeling his soft skin rubbing against my palms - forcing him to look at me, '' It's okay, Draco. It's okay.'' I ensure him, pouring my hands through his blonde, sleek hair as he stared deeply into my eyes, and I could see the guilt speeding through them,

'' Kiss me,'' I whispered, sinking into his parted lips, '' I want you to kiss me, Draco.''

And he does, without uncertainty - he pushes his lips on mine, caressing me coarsely as he mounts over me, making me sprawled on my back again.

His cold hands traveled over every inch of my unclothed body, the cold rings searing into my skin with might - drawing whimpers from me as he goes, '' Do you want me to fuck you?'' He groans, breaking our kiss apart, his cock whetting against my heat, '' Because I surely want to fuck you, right now.''

'' Then fuck me, Draco. I want you to fuck me.''

My words formed his face to tense as I look into his orbs, drips of sweat fleeing his hairline as he rests on his knees, setting my legs on his shoulders - he seized his throbbing length, slowing taunting his tip up and down my drenched slit,

'' Is this what you want?'' He grunts out, '' Do you want me?''

I arch my back by his touch as he lightly slaps his dick against my scorched clit - noticing the satisfaction I held in his doings, " Answer me," He demands, proceeding to slap his length against my dripping moist pussy,

" Y-, Yes," I purr out, feeling my eyes rolling to the back of my head, " I want you,"

And by my confession, he shoved himself inside me, and I whimper as I sense his cock forcing its way through me; without hesitation, he pounds his whole dick inside of me - not letting me adjust to his size,

" Fuck," He moans, bucking his hips back and forth as pure pleasure fulfilling my every nerve,

He prompts more aggressively, each thrust is loaded with violence, and he's using all it out on me; the tingling excitement in my stomach swells at his wild speed,

'' Draco, fuck - please,'' I shudder, every word is cut off by my loud moans, '' Slow-''

'' Slow down?'' He seethed, '' Do you want me to fucking slow down?'' He mocked me, hammering even harder - I feel my walls clenching around his erection - his hands massaging my body utterly, our bones matching perfectly into each other - nearly as if we're made for one another.

This is it,

This is what I wanted,

I wanted him,

No,

I need him.

'' I'm-, ah-, fuck-,'' I wail out, holding my solid body clenching underneath his as one of his hands seeks mine, branding our mixture of cold and warm fingers together in a perfect mess,

Because it's what this is,

What we are,

Him and me,

A perfect mess,

'' Cum for me, darling,'' He smirks, grasping what that word does to me at this moment, tasting his cock pounding inside me - droplets of steam, rolling down from his forehead onto mine as I whine into his divided lips, fanning the same air-

'' Draco, I-,'' I complain, the hand that's not holding his is delving into his back, my nails scratching their way down in pure pleasure as I'm catching my peak,

'' Cum - cum on my cock, soak me,'' He pants out, locking the desiring space between our lips, and I do.

I feel my whole body twisting beneath his as his thick length is sending me places,

My legs are trembling; my orgasm is taking over my every sense - my whole existence,

It's creating me to chew his lower lip, too hard - tasting the tang of his blood, but in some strange way -

It merely turns me on even more,

'' Bloody hell,'' He keens, tending his face away from mine, sailing his thumb over his lip, collecting the blood caused by my teeth on it - a smirk shift onto his edges when he sees my trembling body under his, still pounding me coarsely,

And without faltering, he forces his blood-covered thumb into my mouth, '' Suck it,'' He charges, and I do; I swirl my tongue around his large thumb, still whimpering by the brutality in his hammering - his cock gliding in and out of me with force,

'' Such a good, needy girl for me, aren't you?'' He flutters out, drawing his thumb out of my mouth, trailing it to haul down my bottom lip. His words throw me over the edge once again, my nerves speeding in pleasure, not being able to take it anymore,

'' Cum for me, Draco'' I moan, provoking him to sink to my level, gripping my throat with both of his huge veiny hands, his ice-cold rings boring into my delicate skin - and I suffer my oxygen - not being able to breathe, and just as my eyes were to roll to the back of my head, he loosens his grip - delivering me gasp for air,

'' Fucking perfect,'' He cooed into my rims - staring intensely into my starving eyes, my walls squeezing around his cock - my heat throbbing like never before - I clutch both of my hands around his neck, yanking him closer as he stalls down his rhythm,

'' Fuck, I'm-,'' He gasps out before his warm, thick ribbons are released inside of me, and with that, I caught my high once more - sealing my eyes as my back arched - bucking my hips up to cry my way through it, sensing my nails scoring into his pale skin,

Draco collapses on top of my chest, our pants heavy in sync, our hearts beating at the same speed, his sweaty skin on mine,

He rolls off me - peering over to his exhausted, exposed body, his chest moving up and down massively, the blond strands of hair is sodden by sweat, his cheeks flustered - but even at that,

He's beautiful,

The way his pale skin is settled, like porcelain - the firmly sketched veins crawling up and down his toned arms, the strongly shaped bony knuckles, the rings hugging his large fingers,

Fuck, he's handsome,

Everything about him is,

Silence,

Complete silence circling us, only our ragged breaths touring the room - the stream of the shower jet echoing in the bathroom,

" What did you want to tell me?" I spoke, breaking the serene embrace around us,

" Hm?" He hummed, stroking his hand over my arm, trailing a path of goosebumps by the cold touch,

I chew my lip in hesitation, not knowing if this will set his temper off - but I have to know, that's the reason he wanted to meet me - " You said yesterday that you wanted to tell me something,"

He sighs, plainly " We have to get to class,"

What?

My eyes meet his for a passing second before he launches himself off the bed - stepping to the pile of clothes on the floor,

He got dressed quickly in silence, not uttering a word before looping around to satisfy my questioning stare, " I'll see you later," He cooed, setting a soft peck on the top of my head,

" Draco?" I call out for him, but he's already out the door, closing it closed behind him, devising me alone in my thoughts,

___________

The whole day passed swiftly - and all my mind could speculate about was Draco, how enormously I yearned him being near me,

" Can you stop doing that?" Luna hissed at me, annoyingly watching me lean against the wall,

" What?" I blurted out, not paying notice to either her or Hermione,

" We have to go; why aren't you listening to me?" She lectures, dragging my arm towards her, " You and your bloody daydreaming are making us late,"

I clock onto what she's talking about - twisting my arm with hers as we began sauntering to our next class,

" Are you okay?" She urges, granting me with her pleasant smile, " You seem a bit off,"

" I'm-, I'm fine."

" Darling, you're doing it again," Hermione hews me off, strolling past the both of us, holding before us, " You need to stop hovering,"

Luna pauses, in her tracks, narrowing her eyes in Hermione's, " What?"

I roll my eyes at the both of them, recognizing how Hermione's grimace twists in frustration, " We talked about this. We should give her time. Stop asking how she's doing every five seconds - how would you feel if-" She scolds but is suddenly skipped off by Luna, straining her lips onto Hermione's,

Luna's actions throw Hermione off. Her eyes widen as my blond-haired best friend stretches away, " Shut up, will you?" Luna smirks at her, tucking some of her lover's wavy coffee-colored hair behind her ear,

" I-, I-, That's not fair. You can't kiss me and then tell me to shut up. You need to give June space." Hermione frowned - arms crossed over her small chest - she regularly does that when she's delivering her point,

'' I'm right here, you know.'' I chuckle - seeking to mangle my lips together, sensing that it's not the most suitable time to laugh at them,

" Ah, for gods sakes, let's just go." Luna sighs, rolling her eyes before stretching for my arm again, drawing the both of us across the corridor,

We stepped into class - taking place at our usual spots - Luna next to me and Hermione in the desk in front of us, and as soon as I'm seated - I feel his eyes flaring into my form,

I look up, facing the blue eyes my soul melted for - I felt myself smiling, but he doesn't - he glared at me with clenching jaws, fists curled up into balls - and then I notice his eyes snapping down to my thighs before flickering back up to satisfy my sights,

I immediately scan down, discerning my skirt had slipped up, exposing too much of my thighs; I hastily yank my skirt back down - feeling my cheeks blushed - glancing back up at him, and he slightly nods for approval, biting his lower lip as he rubbed his jaw with his ring coated fingers - staring into my centers with a smoldering desire,

Professor Snape bangs the door locked behind him, causing me to break the throbbing eye contact with Draco - looking down at my books instead,

Fuck.

" I'll be right back," I groan, shoving my chair back, but before I could stand up - Luna clutches my wrist,

" Where are you going?" She whispered, frowning her eyebrows - staring at me with a guilty look, 

" I forgot my book in Professor McGonagall's class, " I speak, trying to flip my hand back from her knocker, but she refuses to let go of me. Instead - her fingers tensed around my skin, " Luna, please-,"

" Promise that you are only going to get your book?" She flutters out, desperation rending through her kind cores - I twist my face in skepticism, sensing the panic rushing through my veins - scared that Professor Snape will catch me without the proper books,

" The last time you walked out of class, you were gone for two days. You can't blame me for asking." She huffed, and my entire self softened at her words - because it's true - I have devised her too many times now, and I can't blame her for worrying,

I extract my wrist of her grasp, seeking her little finger, breading it with mine " Pinky swear," I murmur, stretching our hands up to my edges, setting a soft peck on them,

My acts cause her tensed frame to decrease, gently bowing her head for permission. With that - I let go of her hand, walking out of class - progressing to the class we attended before this one, and just as I implied to push the entrance open - a well-known hand brutally tugging me back, making me flounder back into the wall,

" What the fuck?" I whimper, scraping the back of my head before my eyes clocked to his enraged ones, clear venom-filled eyes stabbing through mine,

" Adrian?"


	25. T w e n t y - t h r e e ,

I would like to put out a TW for this chapter - signs of rape,  
___________________

'' Adrian?'' I exhaled, contracting my breaths from being shoved into the wall,

'' Missed me?'' He grins, yielding me with a sly smile, but something wasn't right - his bearing varied; he acted differently, nearly as if he taunted me, '' I have one question for you, June.''

I reeled my head, gazing up at his husky body - my eyes snapped to the swollen blackened bruise coating his eye, '' Adrian, what happened to you?'' I gulped, stretching to stroke his mark with my thumb, sensing his surface softly smoothing against my finger,

'' This?'' He buzzed, gesturing up to the wounded eye, tensing his jaws together, '' Malfoy.''

I twist my appearance in doubt, practically shocked by his answer; why would Draco do this to him? He didn't seem too upset by the fact that Adrian used me,

I wrenched my hand away, shoving it inside the pocket of my robe, '' Why would he do that?''

His lips instantly curled into a smirk at my terms, '' Because he saw me kiss you again - but that's not relevant.'' He spoke, '' The important part is where he went to find you right after you left my room, and didn't come out of your room until the morning after, care to explain?''

Pure venom dripped off his tongue as he spoke, seeming pleased by the truth that he exposed Draco for staying in my room the entire night - even if I left long before he did, '' I don't have to explain anything to you. '' I seethed, remembering what Draco told me that night - reliving how Adrian used me,

" And the only reason Pucey was with her was to get back at me for spending time with Pansy."

Draco's words echoed through my head as I gawked into Adrian's eyes - the smirk on his face dissolved once he caught onto my words - he inhaled sharply as he shut his centers, rolling his shoulders, and the instant Adrian unfolded his eyes again - he stared at me with violent eyes - the courteous, gentle boy I talked to a few days ago had vanished - and this threatful boy held his place, 

'' You don't?'' He challenged me, as a devilish smile rose, '' Then please, answer this one simple question and I'll leave you to it,'' I held his ragged breaths fanning my skin - I loathed it, having him so close to me after learning what he did,

He deserved whatever Draco did to him,

The only thing I was sorry about,

Was the fact that I wasn't the one who threw the punch,

'' Did you fuck Malfoy?''

His words caught me off guard - provoking me to choke on my spit, '' What?'' I breathe out, clearing my throat, '' How is that any of your business, Pucey?''

He rose a brow at me for calling him by his last name, pouring his tongue over his lower lip, nibbling on it after, '' I thought we had something, Riddle,''

I sensed my temper deserting me as I swallow thickly, my eyes narrowed in his, '' What did you call me?'' I hissed, clenching my fist around my wand inside my pocket,

'' I called you Riddle, June.'' His sneer only spread wider when he saw my reaction to him labeling me by my father's name, '' Isn't that your name? Isn't that your beloved father's name?'' He defied me, satire leaving his curving edges,

'' Say that again,'' I confronted him, '' I dare you,''

'' Was that a threat, Riddle?'' and as soon as that name dropped off his rims - I slapped him,

I fucking slapped him, hard.

His face locked to the side as my palm struck his cheek, but he didn't bother, he didn't budge - Adrian simply shook his head, glaring back at me with intense eyes - the stare cutting through mine was loaded with venom, despite - but still amused - amused by how he yet could sneak beneath my skin,

'' You shouldn't have done that,'' He beams before shoving me back, even more, causing my back to strike with the wall behind me - sealing the space of hostility between us,

With his bones strained against mine - I could feel his sickening, coarse hands exploring their way up and down my waist, his fingers fiddling with the waistband of my skirt,

'' Get off me,'' I roared through my gritted teeth, prying my fists into his chest, doing everything I could to thrust him away from me, but he didn't budge, '' I know what you did, Adrian. I know that you fucking used me.''

He halted in his actions, tipping his head before bending close to my ear, tracing his tongue behind it, '' That wasn't a secret. I'm surprised you needed Malfoy to spell it out for you,''

I continued to push him away, although he was too strong - he had me in a steady grip, and there was nothing I could do.

My arteries iced the instant I tasted him setting a peck on my neck, and another, and another, leaving marks behind for Draco to find, '' Adrian, please, stop.'' I shouted again; the dread sped throughout my body, comprehending what he's about to do,

'' Please, please, stop.''

'' Why?'' He rustled into my skin, '' If Malfoy can fuck you, so can I.'' He tended apart from my neck and forced his greedy lips onto mine - I held my front grimace, attempting to haul it away, but as he felt my moves to avoid his touch - he simply caught onto me tighter, putting a knee between my legs to retain me in place,

'' Stop, Adrian. I don't want to do this, please.'' I pleaded, but he didn't care. He wanted me, he saw this as a wicked game between him and Draco, and I was a pawn, ready to be put to use - the boy ignored my pleads, my screams for help; he didn't mind about what I wanted or not, he craved to fuck me, and he would do it with or without my consent. 

I bit on his lips, as hard as I possibly could to hurt him, so I could take the opening to shout - scream - call for help, '' Mh, I like it when you're rough.'' He puffed into my flares - caressing me even more aggressively,

I tried screaming - I tried shouting, but nothing, the hallway echoed empty - without a single soul in sight,

I felt his hands moving up and down my thighs; I bucked my hips, twisted my upper body, doing everything to evade his embrace as his lips were glued to mine; I sought to reach my wand, but his knuckles gripped mine down - digging his nails into my wrists,

It hurts,

Feeling this helpless - powerless - weak - hurts.

He's forcing himself onto me, and there's nothing I can do,

I inhaled, slowly through my nose, before shutting my eyes closed - striving to picture anyplace but here -

Flashback,

'' June, stop.'' Luna shouted from behind the tree, '' It's not fair.''

The snow created her greys eyes to glisten even more than they usually do, and I could hardly see her hair; it merged perfectly with the white coat around us,

'' It's not my fault that you don't know how to throw them,'' I chuckle - feeling my stomach rising to hurt from all the laughing, '' Come out from there, you're such a coward,'' I launched another snowball at her, heeding how it hit the tree she's hiding at,

'' No, you are mean.'' She yells, sneaking her crest out from behind the tree, '' Stop being mean, and I will come out,'' Her purplish mitts hugged the tribe of the tree thoroughly,

I reach my hands up in the air in defeat, feeling the bitter winter breeze lurking its way underneath my coat, '' I surrender, '' I smirk, and before I knew what was happening, she urged her way up to me, throwing herself into my arms, and by that, we both tumbled onto the slippery ground,

I felt my insides wrenching as I burst out in laughter once more, noticing how her hat had slid up - her hair was messy - her cheeks grew red - she looked ridiculous in that bulky, bright pink hat with two balls as tassels on top,

'' Stop being mean.'' She snickered, prizing that I laughed at the way she looked, '' June, I'm serious, stop being mean, right now - or else,''

Her threat only made me laugh harder, so hard that I suffered my breath. She shoved her holds full of the white, fluffy snow and stuffed it all in my face,

I sensed the ice-cold slush streaming down my neck, into my jacket, and I heaved for air - it was too cold, '' Bloody hell, Luna.'' I snorted, swiftly rising from my lying posture, towing my gloves off to dig the snow out of my clothes,

'' Maybe that will teach you some manners,'' She smiled, before laying down on her back, sticking her arms and legs back and forth,

I peered at her with a blurred stare; what the hell is she doing? '' Luna, what-,''

'' Lay down, I want you to do one too.'' She spoke, still jostling her limbs back and forth in the slush,

'' Do what?'' I grinned as I shook my head; this is it, she's gone bloody mad,

'' Snow angels, of course, silly. Just like mother and I used to do,'' And by those words leaving her lips, my face fell - of course, her mother adored the snow - she always used to say that the cold made us see the warmth in other things - not that I held an idea of what she meant - her mother used to speak such delusional things at times - but somehow as the years went on, all of the things she told when we were kids, slowly made sense,

I gazed over to her, seeing her once again in that absurd hat, and my heart softened - I didn't deserve her - but god, I'm lucky to call this crazy blond-haired fool, my very best friend.

I took place beside her, seeking to copy her movements, but as soon as I do, she stands up, stepping around to lay down on the other side of me - I snapped my head at her doings,

'' Luna, why did you go? Are you still mad at me?'' I spoke, feeling my toes turning numbed off the freezing weather,

'' No, crazy. We need to do one for mother as well.'' She smiled before shoving her arms and legs out once more.

We both stood up, observing the masterpieces we just formed. I gazed down at her before dragging Luna into a hug, '' I love you, you know.'' I whisper into her chilly head,

She gaped up at me, facing my easy stare, '' I know, I love you too.''

We both blenched by the touch of my mother's hands sheltering around both of us. I swift around to look at her as she holds there, shivering by the cold climate in nothing but her dress, heels, and her beloved apron; she strolled around with that apron everywhere '' I love the both of you, '' My mother stuttered, '' But is fourteen a proper age to be playing out in the snow?''

'' Yes,'' Luna and I lectured at the same time, chortles escaping our lips,

'' Very well then, my loves.''

'' Dinner is ready.''

_______

I clocked my eyes broad open when I felt his finger extracting my underwear to the side - unbuckling his belt with one hand as the other one held my body in place,

'' Please, stop," I begged, '' I don't want to do this." - but nothing, he didn't even look at me, so I shut my eyes locked again, catching a deep breath - seeking to distance myself from the presence - perhaps it won't hurt as much if I try not to feel anything,

" Adrian, stop."

I overheard his pants lower to the ground, the clasp of the belt smacking the ground with a clinking vibration - and it's breeding me to cry out - I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to provide him the satisfaction of crying - but I couldn't keep my tears in - they drowned my pale cheeks, and there I was, sobbing as he tried to violate himself on me,

I felt weak - lifeless - numb.

I craved the ground to swallow me whole,

I wanted to die.

And just as he equipped himself to enter me, I caught shouting - cursing -calls closing in on us, and everything that passed was a blur.

I collapsed to the floor with my sights still sealed, my hands covering my breaking front - I didn't desire to view what passed around me,

'' June?'' His soothing voice summoned out for me, and out of the comfort in recognizing his voice, I waved my eyes free to be greeted with his figure kneeling beside me,

'' Blaise?'' I gasp, welcoming the feeling of relief he brought, and without uncertainty, I heaved myself into his arms - he hugged me tightly. I clutched my arms around his neck, clinging onto him and the sympathy he served as if my life depended on it.

'' What did he do to you?'' He seethed, his figure heated in anger of what he'd witnessed, '' June, answer me.''

I gaze over his shoulder as he led back, observing Dean pinning Adrian upon the wall - Adrian's pants still shoved down onto his ankles - a path of blood is flowing down his lip - Dean's fists are tensing around Adrian's neck and by the look of that a hidden, clouded spirit established inside of me - controlling my every sense,

I shove myself off the ground - my darkened orbs stabbing into Adrian's frightened ones. I seize my wand out of my pocket, aiming it at the boy who just attempted violating himself on me and with no remorse -

I spoke the forbidden word,

'' Crucio,''

Adrian's body fainted to the stone covered floor - his outcries imitated throughout the hallway. I felt Blaise hauling me back - calling my name, striving to break the trance of hatred I was caught under,

But I couldn't maintain it. I didn't own any control over myself at this moment - my insides screamed for help, but the dark, vicious spirit within me suffocated my struggles to do so. Yet in some wicked way, it felt good watching Adrian fight the torture I caused him - viewing the body that tried to violate me, squirm - twist - bend in agony. It pleased me to hear his outcry bursting in pain - the voice he used to silence mine with when I was desperately crying out for help.

Blaise pushed himself past me, shouting my name and inch apart from my front, and by that, his voice, caught me back to being, pulling my wand away.

My breaths hitched as my eyes shot between Blaise and Adrian; his body stopped squirming, his plaints hushed. I lock my eyes in Blaise's, feeling my eyes pooling; what did I do? What did I do? What did I do?

'' What did I do?'' I gasped, '' Did I do this?''

I couldn't believe what my centers beheld - I didn't have a harmful bone in my entire body, how could I be capable of such horrible doings?

Did I really do this?

'' Bloody hell, June.'' Blaise complained, '' What the fuck did you do? What if a teacher saw you?'' He steamed - grasping his hands over his scalp in distress, staring at me with shocked orbs as the tears kept gushing down my cheeks,

He swiftly shifts around, watching Dean holding over Adrian's body, '' Fuck'' Blaise blasted, panic tearing through his voice, '' Take her to Malfoy's room.''

I held the fright speeding through my veins, not for my welfare, but Adrian's - once Draco learns what Adrian sought to do with me, the torture I settled him through is nothing matched to what Draco will do,

'' No, no, no, Blaise, please.'' I begged, drawing his arm back to face me, '' Please, don't tell him. He will lose it,''

Blaise looked at me with big eyes; his solid body tensed at my words before he yanked his arm back, kneeling beside Adrian's unconscious body, '' Dean, take her away, right now.'' He sighs,

" Carry her if you need to. I don't care, just take her away. She can't be here."

And so Dean did, even if I resisted - even if I tried to step away, Dean lifted me and carried me to Draco's room,

" I'm fine, Dean," I whispered while examining his front - He had the most generous highlights, he looked so gentle yet visibly furious,

" Are you sure?" He smiled down at me, seeking to hide his real emotions - '' Because Blaise said-,''

'' Well, Blaise needs to mind his own business.'' I uttered quietly in between his words '' Don't get me wrong - I love Blaise, but sometimes he's really-,'' I quieted down, not aspiring to speak badly about Blaise after he rescued me,

'' I know,'' Dean groans, '' He really is,'' I glance up at him again, noticing the creases growing into his temples - he seemed upset, but this wasn't about me, this was about Blaise, why would Blaise be with Dean anyway?

He placed me in front of Draco's door, signaling for me to open it, " Go ahead," He spoke softly, and I did,

I picked out my wand and whispered the spell to unlock it; the door clicked open,

I stepped through the doorway, and I felt myself puff - my views eyed over the mess Draco had created - shattered glass everywhere - books thrown all over the wooden floor and - I gulped,

My letter to Luna, why does he have my letter?

My mind clocked to Blaise in the second as I picked it up,

I'm going to bloody murder him.

I spun around to face Dean; he looked surprised, lowering over Draco's disorder, " Please, Dean," I begged, " You need to talk to Blaise. He can't tell Draco." I worked my hands through my hair in frustration, tugging the collar of my shirt, setting all of my emotions about Adrian aside for the moment, too fearful for whatever Draco will do if he finds out,

'' June, I'm sure that it will be-,''

'' No, you don't know Draco, the way I do.'' I blurted out, '' He will-, He will-,'' Dean gaped at me with doubtful eyes - he certainly had no idea of what Draco is capable of, and with that, I signed my views lowering to the ground - huffing loudly,

Both Dean and I clasped our heads to the door as I swung open, and there he was - the enraged Blonde-haired Slytherin, his breaths throbbed heavily, his gills flushed from rushing his way here - with his best friend accompanying him.

Draco's eyes instantly spotted mine, '' What happened?'' He hissed, teeth gritted; I gulped, peering over at Blaise in panic, wishing that he would've told him everything - so I didn't have to, and Blaise read my mind as he slowly shook his head, '' Fucking look at me when I'm speaking to you,''

My optics flashed back to Draco's, learning the violence in his voice - but not a word could leave my lips - I was senseless, staring into his blue eyes - I couldn't tell him - I didn't want to,

'' June, I swear to god, if you don't tell me what happened, right now,'' He fumed, his eyebrows furrowed - but still nothing.

I stood petrified - scared - lifeless -

'' For fucks sakes,'' He caught quick steps up to me, and the second I sensed his touch, his hands clasping around my upper arms - I crumbled down, my head collapsed into Draco's chest as the tears welled down, wetting his black blazer -

His hold recalled me of the hold Adrian had of me moments ago, how he attacked me against the wall.

'' What the fuck?'' Draco uttered, shocked by my actions as he glanced down at my trembling figure before completely covering his arms around me - he held me encouragingly.

'' Blaise, tell me what the fuck is going on, right now.'' He roared, spinning us around to front Blaise in a swift move, still with my head embedded into Draco's chest; I heard them talking, arguing back and forth before something inside of Draco snapped.

'' He did what?'' Draco smoldered, jerking my body back from his, forcing me to satisfy his eyes,

'' Did he force himself on you?''

I swallowed, not prizing how to explain it, not cherishing what to say. I wanted to tell Draco everything, but I couldn't; the humiliation drowned me from the inside out.

His tastes bolted down to my neck, and his face sank when he viewed the emblems Adrian left behind from his horrendous act, " No," He panted out, his eyes turned soft - he felt so much for me at this moment - merely as if he could feel my pain and then, his eyes turned black,

" He's dead."

Draco shoved me back as his entire bearing deepened - stainless malice reflecting in his eyes, " Draco, please." I sobbed, '' Please don't leave,''

He neglected my cries and headed towards the door, but Blaise stood in front of it, obstructing any chance of leaving, '' Get out of my fucking way, Zabini,'' Draco spat at his best friend, but Blaise didn't move - he stood his ground - Draco never frightened Blaise - he kenned his best friend,

'' Draco, listen to me. She did something-,''

'' I don't fucking care what she did, Blaise.'' Draco exploded, launching his fists into Blaise's chest, '' I don't fucking care because he touched her, and no one touches her.'' Draco shook his head, running both of his hands through his blond, sleek hair in defeat, the blazer tightly gripped around his shoulders, before looping around to face me again,

'' No one touches you, do you understand? You're mine, and no one fucking touches you. ''

You're mine,

He really said it,

The one thing I've been longing to hear,

And he finally said it,

I'm his,

'' Now move,'' He threatened again, narrowing his eyes in Blasie's, his nostrils flaring out of rage - but my mind couldn't concentrate, and somehow my heart gained it's beat again as I studied the blond-haired boy before me,

'' No, Draco. She needs you right now. She doesn't need you to beat the hell out of Adrian. She needs you here.'' Blaise stated, stirring his best friend back - it was accurate, I did. I needed Draco more than ever - all I craved was for him to hold me in his embrace, to kiss me - for him to take all my pain away,

'' You need to know what she did,'' Dean spoke, and Draco's neck snapped to his; a look of disgust grew onto Draco's front as he observed the Gryffindor boy standing in his room, '' I'm sorry, June. But he needs to know.'' Dean's loving eyes meet my saturated ones - feeling that drowning sensation scouring over me, disappointed in my self for what I did to Adrian - not that he didn't deserve it - he did - but that I was the one who did it - I didn't recognize myself,

'' What did she do?'' Draco charged, but soon as he took a step back, both of the boys quieted down, gawking at me, nervously tugging the sleeves of their shirts. I let my sights fall to the ground, catching a deep breath, '' What did you do?'' He repeated himself,

'' I-, I-,'' I stammered, still glaring at the ground,

Draco held firm steps towards me, clothing both of his hands around my cheeks, arching my head back to view him in the eyes, and I do - I meet his startled eyes, '' June, what did you do?''

I swallowed thickly as I took another deep breath, but before I owned the opportunity of speaking up, Blaise did it for me,

'' She used the cruciatus curse on Adrian,''

Silence,

Complete silence,

Draco stared emptily into my eyes - not a single emotion in his pose, and that's the first time I've ever seen Draco Malfoy speechless, he gulped, quickly peering back at Blaise and Dean, before his neck locked back to mine,

'' You harmed someone?'' He grumbled, his whole figure tensed impatiently waiting for me to answer him, but I couldn't - the thought of harming anyone drained me, '' Please, tell me you didn't harm anyone.''

I looked away, ripped my sights from his - I couldn't look at him - I felt shameful - uncomfortable, his hands slowly lowered from my cheeks as he turned around facing the two boys behind us, '' Take care of Adrian, he can't remember what she did.''

'' What do you mean?'' Blaise urged, eyebrows furrowed; he restlessly hauled his tie before he caught onto Draco's words, '' No, Draco. I can't master that spell yet, you know I can't.''

'' Yes, you can,'' Draco took a pace closer to Blaise, setting both of his hands on Blaise's shoulders, '' I believe in you, Blaise. Take Dean with you. June and I have to leave.''

His words provoked me to look at him again; seeing him encourage his friend caused the warmth to course through my veins, tearing through the numbness that's embracing me; I reached my hands up to wipe off the tears that kept coming, '' Where?'' I uttered, and all three of them watched me with wide eyes,

'' Malfoy Manor.'' Draco spoke coldly, jaws clenched, '' Blaise, please. Take care of Pucey before he says anything.''

'' Why can't you do it? We can stay with her-,'' Blaise rose but is instantly hewed off by Draco clearing his throat.

'' No. I can't leave her and if ever see Pucey again, I will fucking kill him.'' Draco curses, '' I'm serious, Blaise. Now, go. Send me an owl when it's done.'' And by that, Blaise and Dean walked out, leaving me alone with the boy my heart belonged to,

I lasted frozen in time, watching Draco shutting the door behind them, planting both of his hands onto the door in front of him. He huffed out in frustration. I took a step back to take a seat on his bed, drawing my knees up to my chest,

'' I'm sorry, Draco,'' I whispered, burying my head in my position. He curled around to look at my trembling figure,

'' Don't you dare apologize,'' He spoke aggressively, taking quick steps towards me, '' This isn't your fault.''

Silence,

He placed himself next to me - doing nothing more than to look at me, he just sat there, twisting the ring on his finger in different ways, and I didn't mind it - holding next to each other, the quietness stifling around us,

I was scared. My head spun in every way possible - questioning everything. What would happen to me if Blaise can't make Adrian forget? Why do we have to leave? Why was Draco upset with me for harming someone?

'' What did he do to you?''

Draco's words split through the silence, and my eyes snapped to his - he didn't look furious; the creases in his temples vanished, his eyebrows weren't furrowed, his jaws relaxed - he looked sad - anxious - heartbroken,

My heart throbbed by the look on his form, how numb he looked - how much he sensed my pain to be his - how much he felt not for me but with me,

'' Draco, I can't.'' I sighed as I stretched for his hand, wincing at how frozen it felt, '' Talking about him won't-, I don't want to talk about him.''

The silence took over again, and it hit me, he didn't know how to do this, how to comfort me - or that's what he believed. If he only knew how many times his touch has saved me from drowning, how many times his eyes caused me to feel again,

" I'm so sorry this happened to you. I-, I-, should have been there." I rose my head, gawking into his globes, the eyes I fell completely and utterly in love with,

" This isn't your fault, Draco." I whispered - although I could see how guilty he looked, he held himself liable for this - he always did his best to protect me, and when he couldn't, he blamed himself, " Draco?"

" Yes,"

'' Thank you,''

My words caused him to frown, his face twisting in uncertainty, but we stayed silent; I smiled through my misery, wanting to render him every bit of kindness I could before I had to explain to him what Narcissa informed me with, a few nights ago - that my father had seized the Malfoy Manor,

" We can't visit the Manor, Draco - my father-," I rose, but he hurriedly cut me off, tensing his fingers around mine,

" Not anymore."

" My mother was devastated with all the death eaters in our home. So father convinced the dark lord to move bases," He looked at me with gloom scribbled all over, his thumb rubbing the top of my hand, " To where?" I asked silently, nearly comprehending what his answer will be,

" To the Ravenclaw castle,"

Of course, my father had to take away the one place I could call home - he had reaped so much from me already - but that wasn't enough.

" Malfoy Manor is safe. I promise." He uttered, but the doubt sowed throughout me; they had already misled me too many times, what if they did it again? What if this, right here, was another attempt to deceive me?

" Draco, why do we have to go? I don't understand how leaving will do us any good right now?" I sought, earning an annoyed huff from him, he grasped that I didn't fully trust him yet,

'' You need to see my mother. There are things that you don't know about, June - and I can not be the one to tell them.'' He countered, sincerely - I peered over him, extending my hand to smooth some strands of his blonde hair off his temples, gently stroking my fingers over his pale cheek - he grants his head to lean in my hand for a sudden moment, settling a soft kiss in the palm of my hand,

'' I know you have your doubts about trusting me, and I can't hold that against you,'' He spoke with his cheek still lounging in my palm, '' But I want you to know that I won't let anyone hurt you again, do you understand that?''

His words melted my entire being - I adored this side of him, the human side of him.

'' I know,'' I murmured as he yanked his head away, mangling his lips together, " I will go with you on one condition,"

His eyes increased as a sneer curled onto his flares.'' What makes you think you have a choice?"

" Really?" I scoffed playfully, my eyes narrowed into him, tugging my hand away, " We need to tell Luna where we're going. I can't lie to her anymore."

He rolled his eyes at my request, huffing loudly, " Fine, I will have Blaise inform her," his smirk still glued to his lips, " Is that good enough?"

I couldn't help but smile at him as I nodded my head - it was good enough, everything he ever did would always be good enough- he's so troublesome, but yet so easy.

'' Very well then, shall we?''


	26. T w e n t y - f o u r ,

I would like to put out a trigger warning for self-harm -

Mature content ahead,

_______________________

The gravel crackled beneath our steps as we hurried our way up to the entrance; my fingers felt numbed of how tight Draco had been squeezing them - he refused to let go of me; he held onto me as his life depended on it, the whole way here.

My eyes snapped to his shaking body when I saw his fists coarsely collide with the wooden door before us, " Calm down, Draco, please." I pleaded, feeling the frigid breeze towing at my flushed cheeks,

He ignored my words as he caught a step back from the door, unbuttoning his black blazer to pluck his wand out, but before he had the possibility of doing so - the door twirled open, and a startled Narcissa peered out, '' Draco, what on earths-,'' She arose, but hushed down the second her orbs placed on mine and her eyes turned soft in a heartbeat,

'' June?''

Draco didn't even bother to greet his mother; he urgently forced himself past her into the mansion,'' We need to speak with you.'' He demanded, spreading his hands over his silky hair, '' It's urgent, is father home?''

She shook her head at his question and took a step out to the cold to cloak her sleeves around my small figure, '' I missed you,'' I whispered into the locks of her hair, hugging her back tightly - breathing in safety the surrounding her,

'' I missed you, dear.'' She leaned back as a smile curled up on her red painted lips, '' Please,'' Her tone was soft and calm as always - gesturing for me to enter her home, and I do - my views flickered all over the remarkable entry, even if I have spent numerous occasions here - Narcissa and her taste in furnishing never ceased to amaze me,

'' Beautiful, isn't it?'' She smiled at me as I twisted around to view her elegant figure, '' It was a gift from your mother if I'm not mistaken.''

I peered over at the statue placed into the far corner of the hall, '' I thought that it could bring some light into these-,'' She holds, glancing at me with pleading eyes, weaving her fingers together in uncertainty,

'' Into these hard times,''

'' Mother, we don't have time for this,'' Draco muttered, making both Narcissa and me look at him - his hands are tucked into his pockets, striving to conceal the fact that he's visibly fuming - staring impatiently at his mother,

'' Draco, please.'' She begged, not charmed with her son's behavior, before taking hurried steps towards him, " I'm so glad to have you home," she spoke softly, drawing him into a warm hug - warmth rinsed through my variety when I heeded how much peace it brought him - holding his mother, " Shall we?"

All three of us took place around the table in the saloon - they indeed did have a beautiful home, the walls covered in paintings from other eras - the crystals dangling from the ceiling sparkled in the shades of the rainbow when the sun caressed them.

I gazed over to Draco, wishing for him to satisfy my eyes, but he didn't spare me a single look as he seated himself next to me. Why is he acting like this?

Narcissa calmly planted her hands onto the table, twining her fingers together - nodding for her offspring to speak his mind, '' What is all of this about?''

Silence,

Draco's breaths hitched, and he didn't utter a single word; he stayed quiet for moments, chewing on his bottom lip, his veiny hand nervously tugged at his jaws - blue eyes were dropped to the table as his fingers hauled at his rings - he looked so bothered,

I rolled my eyes away from him, giving his mother a humbled smile, '' I don't know why Draco felt the need to bring-,'' I rose, but the instant he caught on to my words, he cleared his throat sternly, hewing me off, making me bite my lip in hesitation,

'' She harmed someone, mother.'' He revealed, gawking intensely into his mother's eyes, his fists clenched around the edges of the wooden table, '' She fucking harmed someone,'' He spoke once more. I felt the rim of my mouth twist in disbelief as I shot him an evil glare -

My sights lowered to the table again before I sealed them - my arteries iced by the thought of Adrian - still feeling his hands keeping me down with force - still tasting his lips aggressively forced against mine - still hearing the sound of his belt clinking to the ground,

I zoned out of reality, striving to do everything imaginable not to cry - don't you dare start crying right now - he doesn't deserve your tears. I sensed my nails soaring into my palms - not wanting to know the pain Adrian caused me - I needed to feel relief, and the comfort of my nails digging deeper into my flesh eased everything.

I caught the blonde-haired boy and his mother arguing - shouting - blasting back and forth, but my mind was too clouded by everything else to pay them any attention - I didn't want Narcissa to know about this - I didn't want to bother her, she had too much to deal with already,

My mind clocked back to the present when I felt Draco's hand is seeking for mine - thrusting his fingers in between mine as he shot me a hurtful frown. I knew he hated it when I hurt myself, but I couldn't help it - I needed to ease the pain,

'' I want him gone, mother.'' Draco steamed, hewing his mother off, causing me to wince by the sound of his loud voice as his hold found its way down to my thigh, clasping it roughly,

'' I want him gone, for good.'' I sensed his fingers biting deeper into my flesh as his temper flunked - I immediately freed my nails from my palms, settling my hand on top of his to calm him down, '' Draco, please,'' I begged as my eyes pooled,

'' No,'' He roared at my trembling form, causing me to let out a shaky breath, '' He touched you, and I thought I made myself clear when I said that no one touches you.'' His broad, furious eyes narrowed in mine as his breaths once again hitched, '' I want him gone.''

'' I know, Draco.'' His mother cleared, bursting through the heated tension between us, as her eyes darted between our blue ones, '' He will be. I will see to it, myself,''

She let out a heavy huff as she brushed the textile of her shoulders off, '' But for the other part, June.'' Her centers stared deeply into mine, '' We haven't been honest with you.''

I instantly felt weak - anxious - worried, not prizing what they held from me this time.

'' The reason your father wanted you home, that night, was in order to-,''

'' Split my soul in two - I know.'' I spoke silently, scoring Narcissa off, a feeling of relief pouring throughout me- striving to gather myself, " Lucius told me, "

" Yes, dear. But there is a reason why the dark lord needed to split your soul," She stretched, watching me with pleading eyes.

" What?" My eyes darted between her and her son's - my breaths ragged and the feeling of relief faded away in a heartbeat, " What is it?" I sought to clench my fists together again - to ease everything - but he didn't let me; he gently planted his hand on mine,

Narcissa inhaled sharply through her nose, tensely sweeping the table in front of her, " He wants you to be a death eater - and that can only be done if you caused someone harm," She holds,

No,

" You caused Adrian harm, June."

My heart stopped pounding, causing my skin to drain of color.

This can't be happening,

This can't be real,

Flashback;

'' One day, I won't be here anymore. I won't be here to protect you from every horrible thing your father sought to put you through, and I need you to promise me something, June.'' My mother spoke softly, cupping my cheeks in her tiny hands as a tear rolled down her pale skin,

'' He will come for you one day, and if I'm not here, I need you to promise me to be strong, to be brave, to carry this legacy - our legacy - on with grace. I need you to promise me to never give in and to never give up. I need you to be the woman I always have known you to be.''

I looked at her with wide eyes as she tucked a curl of hair behind my ear, '' You are deemed for greatness, my love.''

She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into the safest of holds, '' Promise me, June. I need you to promise me that.''

'' I promise.''

_______________

I felt a sinking sensation suffocating me from the inside - what if my mother knew about all this - what if she knew that this was deemed to happen - what if that's the reason she left me?

I shook my head at my thoughts, trying to pry that feeling off me when it struck me, like thunder from a clear, blue sky - Narcissa's terms embraced my mind, '' We haven't been honest with you.'' -

''We''

" Say something," Draco's voice prompted me back to being as my neck snapped to him - my sights ran wild over his face, trying to seek the answer I needed - did he know about this - did he know that my father wanted for me to become a death eater?

And then - I saw it.

How the guilt of misleading me tortured him as he did everything possible not to reveal it - but his eyes never lied.

I lock my eyes closed as a tear rolled down my pale cheek,

He lied to me,

I tried to gather the small pieces of strength I had left within me before my eyes flayed open again. '' You knew?'' I doubted him, my voice breaking in despair,

" You knew - and you didn't say anything?" His eyes held bolted in mine as the crease in his forehead grew wide - the grip around my thigh loosened,

He ripped his sights away from mine - looking down at the table, not owning the nerve to look at me, knowing what he did - knowing that he lied.

I felt myself swallow thickly before forcing my seat back; it caused his hand to slide off my thigh. " I'm sorry, but I can't do this right now," I spoke tranquility as I wiped the tears coating my cheeks before storming off,

I heard Draco shout my name as he forced his chair back, but I couldn't look at him right now. I didn't want to because he promised me not to lie, and he did.

He lied.

_____________

I didn't leave my bedroom the rest of the night, not even when Narcissa called me down for dinner -

I didn't want to see him - I was too unsettled and the one person I wished for at this moment was Luna - she was the only one that could calm me down in times like this - she always spoke the wisest things, at the precise times - she would curl her arms around me, my front holding on her shoulder while she hummed her gentle words into my head,

'' Of course, you have the right to be upset, silly, but please, remember to choose your battles. ''

And it was the most real thing I prized, her comforting me; she always grasped how to do this. I reeled my head at my thoughts, clutching my stomach - maybe I should've joined them for dinner after all,

I tasted the stinging feeling in my stomach increase the longer I overlooked it, causing me to pace around in my room, restlessly, striving to shake the feeling away - I peered out of the enormous windows coating the walls - darkness.

This place indeed had changed these last couple of moons - and not for the better,

I caught reluctant footsteps down the stairs, scared to death that Draco will show up out of nowhere - he has a habit of doing so - '' May I come in?'' I asked Narcissa quietly, witnessing how she's holding, completely noiseless with both of her palms placed onto a counter, her head sunken in frustration -

She turns around in a sudden move and her whole grimace softened at the look of mine, '' Please,'' She pressed, '' Would you care for some tea?''

With her apron still hugged around her waist, a mix of blonde and brown curls falling over her shoulders as she sauntered up to me, tenderly tucking a lock behind my ear, '' I would love that, thank you, Cissy.'' I smiled as she rose a brow at the nickname I ceded her with, effecting me to frown, '' If you want me to keep calling you-,''

''Nonsense, dear.'' She smiled, stepping up to the counter '' I love it,'' I felt the warmth rushing through my variety because of her, how she always contrives to be this kind and courteous even if everything in her life is on the brink of falling apart,

I took a seat at the table - listening to the loud sounds of her doings; it sounded safe, at home, hearing the potts slammed against one another, the sound of the water boiling. She looked at me with gentle eyes as she seats herself next to me, putting two cups of hot, steaming tea in front of us, '' Is it mother's favorite?'' I asked, a simper arced onto my lips as I remarked the sugary lemon scent,

'' No, it's supposed to be lemon.'' We both laugh out simultaneously, impersonating what my mother used to say when she was served with anything other than her sweet lemon tea.

She hushed her laugh down, scowling her eyebrows together as she lifted the mug to her flares, '' I miss her,'' Narcissa uttered quietly, taking a sip of the fuming tea as I glanced at her with big eyes, '' I miss your mother very much.''

'' But not as much as you do, of course.'' Her centers pleaded for mine as I spurted her a slight nod,

'' I miss her so much it hurts, at times. It's just that - She's-,'' I huffed out, lowering my views to the furniture, '' I don't know her anymore, Narcissa. There's a lot of things she never told me, and the longer she's gone - the more secrets I find out about,''

My terms left her placid; she merely stared at me with troubled eyes before lunging over the table to squeeze my hand in hers, '' That's not true, dear. You know your mother, she would never do such a thing to you.'' Her words reamed right through me - she was right, how could I ever question her, the person who gave me life, and then gave her life up - to keep me safe.

I shook my head, clasping the heated mug with my hands, '' I know - I'm sorry,'' I mumbled into the edge of the cup before tasting the burning tea firing down my throat,

Narcissa cleared her throat, tensely pricking the bulge of her mug, '' I have to speak with you about something - or about two things actually,'' Her eyes narrowed in mine, drawing a bewildered look from me,

'' Of course,'' I spoke, silently - nervous about what she required to talk about,

'' First of all - I did not get the chance to tell you how sorry I am for Adrian and the way he treated you,'' My puffs hooked at her words, looking away, '' I want you to know that he was expelled, immediately, and is no longer a student at Hogwarts,''

I sensed my eyes snap back to hers, a sinking sensation flooding over me, '' What?'' My lower lip quivering as I let out a shaky breath,

She gracefully bowed her head - noticing the startled look on my form, '' Unfortunately, it will take a day or two for his transfer to go through, and I don't want you anywhere near that boy until he's gone - both you and Draco are more than welcome to stay with me,'' She spoke, softly as a smile climbed her rims, '' It's so lonely out here, and I would love the company,''

I squeezed her hand in mine again, as we clutched each other's fingers, '' Of course,'' I gasped out, thankful for the woman seated before me, '' - and thank you. You didn't have to do-,''

'' Don't be silly, dear.'' She lectured, her smile still glued to her red lips,

A moment of silence laved over us as I marked her profile twist in emotion, '' There is something else,'' Her voice cracked in uncertainty as she cleared it for a second time, '' It's about what happened - with the curse,''

I swallowed thickly - my elbows placed on the table, hugging myself, '' What about it?''

Her eyes shunned mine, gawking out in the hollow kitchen - I felt my heart hammering hard inside my chest, not grasping if this is another thing Draco suffered to tell me, '' You mentioned a feeling you had when you cursed Adrian - have you ever felt that before?''

Her eyes flickered back to mine as she watched me shake my head, '' Would you mind to explain how it felt?''

I chewed on my lip in difficulty before signing out an unsteady breath - seeking to find the words to describe how it felt, '' I felt powerless in my own mind - almost as if I wasn't the one in control if you know what I mean?'' I urged, my hold around myself tensed, '' I think that was the first time I felt pure hatred, it was - dark - like my mind was clouded by something,''

I huffed at my terms, understanding how ridiculous it sounded, '' I'm sorry - I know this sounds-, mental.''

She gaped at me with wide eyes before reeling her head - standing up to put her mug away. I could tell that she wasn't satisfied with my answer, quite the opposite - she seemed frightened, favoring against the counter, '' Narcissa, what's wrong?''

Her black eyes matched my mistaken ones, '' I believe that there's a reason you harmed Adrian, June. But it's not because he-,'' She rested, still to overthrown with his actions to talk about him,

'' It's alright,'' I encourage her, ceding her a humble smile.

'' It's not because he forced himself onto you. I believe that you have the same mind your father has,'' She uttered as I stood up; her words made me drop the cup to the floor - porcelain shattered everywhere as both of us cringed at the clinking noise it caused,

'' I'm so sorry, let me-,'' I rose, but she clutched my wrist, hauling me back before I had the opportunity of dropping to my knees,

'' Let me take care of that." She smiled, "Would you do me a favor and please go and talk to Draco,'' She met my questioning eyes, cupping a hand around my cheek, '' Please, dear. He was distraught at dinner,''

I felt my heart hurting, deeming about Draco and how I treated him earlier -

Even if he lied, and he did, he did lie - I lied too, I lied first - I left him,

'' Are you sure-,'' I asked Narcissa, gesturing down at the crushed ceramics spreading the floor,

'' Of course. Now, off you go.'' She heaved, waving her hands for me to leave, and I do.

Marching my way up the stairs - through the dimmed hallway - and down to the end, it - halting right outside of Draco's door, sensing my heart beating out of my chest,

I let my knuckles strike the dark wooden door, and not even a trice later, he swung his door open, '' What?'' He seethed, still visibly upset, but I couldn't bear myself to argue as my sights gazed over him, standing before me, looking more handsome than usual in his black suit, '' Well, what do you want?''

I gulped, my sights traveling back up to please his, '' Can I talk to you?'' I hushed myself down, trying not to look down at his shirt, being half unbuttoned, overexposing a little bit of his toned torso, a smirk curled up on his edges when he marked how much I resisted not to look,

'' No,'' He grinned, before roughly clutching his hands around my throat, tugging me closer to him, sealing the heated space between us in the doorway, '' If you came here to talk, you can go ahead and leave,"

I chewed my lower lip as I peered up at him; his eyebrows rose in a swift movement, practically daring me to leave, '' You know what?'' I swallowed as his grip around my throat tensed,'' I'll just go then,''

As those words jumped my edges, he quickly let go of my throat as I shoved him back, '' What the fuck-,'' He growled out, returning the favor by forcing me into the wall behind me, booting the door closed,

I felt the corner of my mouth twist at his actions. His hands sought to grasp my waist, '' Don't tempt me,'' He staked me once more, thrusting his body onto mine, and I craved him - his touch did things to me,

Things I couldn't even begin to describe,

I met his dull stare, nearly stumbling lost into those enchanting, blue eyes, '' Or what? '' I smiled, my bottom lip sucked in between my teeth, '' Are you going to fuck me again?'' I taunted him,

But he didn't budge, staring at me for a severe moment before his face softened at my words, '' No, not today,'' He spoke truthfully, '' You have been through enough," He caught a step back as he shot me a guilty look,

Still standing against the wall, I let my arms fall to my sides, taking a deep breath, '' I'm sorry for walking away, before,'' I hushed down as my sights lowered to the floor,

He looked at me in silence, without a word leaving his lips - shrugging his shoulders, causing a few strands of blonde hair to fall over his pale forehead, his cheeks slightly flushed at my apology,

'' Come here,''

____________

The tepid water soaked over my figure as I flayed my eyes open - trembling as I glanced at the towering - pale - handsome boy before me; he stood there, watching me wide-eyed,

I sought for his cold hand, grasping it to draw him into the streaming shower jets. His arms gained their way around my waist as his chest hugged my back, '' I didn't mean to lie,'' He scoffed, sounding severe but yet not - stiffening the hold of my waist,

I felt a slight smile curl up onto my lips as I huffed, '' Was that supposed to be an apology, Malfoy?'' His arms shifted me around in a sharp move, meeting his stare,

'' No,'' He snarled as he rolled his eyes, groaning loudly, '' Yes.''

I let out a muffled snicker, stroking some of the soggy strands of hair out of his eyes, '' Apology accepted,''

His eyes narrowed in mine, jaws clenched as my fingers moved down his wet features - studying every detail, touching every flaw, '' I have a question for you,'' I spoke, seriously

His eyes searched deeply into mine, neglecting my words, making me roll my eyes at him, '' What's your favorite meal? - like your absolute favorite-,''

'' What?'' He hewed me off,

I chewed my bottom lip again, trying to strangle the chuckle eager to leave my lips as I mocked him, '' Yes,'' I huffed, '' What's your favorite meal?''

His brows furrowed as he threw me and frustrated glare, seemingly feeling pressured, even if it was such a simple question, '' What does that have to-,''

''Just answer the question,'' I cut him off. His lips mangled to a thin line, visibly annoyed with me,

'' Fine,'' He shouted, ''Cornish pasties.''

The amused look on my profile paled at his confession and his whole face twisted - his icy fingers bolted into my naked flesh, ice-cold rings stinging, '' What? What's wrong with that?''

'' Nothing,'' I grinned - actually disgusted by his favorite food - arching my head back to embrace the melting water washing over us as I had a solid grip of his arms,

A smirk grew onto his edges as he cupped my cheeks, angling my head back to look at him, '' What's yours?''

I tore my sights away, turning around to level the liquid again, '' I'm not telling you that,''

'' No,'' He breathed out, '' Don't tell me you still like eating that-,'' His smirk still coated to his rims as sarcasm broke through his hoarse voice,

'' Stop it,'' I chuckled, turning around to slap his arm, '' Stop it, Draco,'' His fists clutched around my wrists, holding me in a steady grip, and my mind wandered, imagining his touch, his skin on mine, his length pounding into -

'' Are you done?'' He spoke, devilishly as he rose a brow making me clock out of my heated thoughts, gawking at him,

I let my head fall back, huffing irritated at him, before he spun me around in his arms yet again, my back heavy to his chest as he planted soft, tender pecks on my shoulders, his hands spreading up and down my arms - a path of goosebumps trailed behind him as he goes, my heated skin in a mixture with his cold one,

I love you,

That was everything I could think about,

That was everything I wanted to say,

Everything I wanted him to know,

Everything I needed him to know,

Was that I loved him,

I don't even know how it's possible for a human being to love someone in that raw - honest - pure way that I loved him in,

It felt strange, longing for someone you hated most of your life, to crave someone you couldn't even look at, at times - to care for someone that betrayed you - to love someone who could shatter your heart in a blink of an eye - to let someone have that hold of you,

______________

He sheltered me into a towel and steered me to his bed, mildly tucking me in between the blankets before he laid down next to me, watching me with wide eyes,

'' What?'' I smiled, stretching the crisp layers over my flushed body - his eyes sparkled in the moonshine, his pale skin brightened up like porcelain,

He truly is beautiful,

But he didn't answer; he merely settled himself closer, his arm tugged at my waist, pulling me closer, '' Draco?'' I breathed out, sensing his puffs of minty breath fanning my skin,

His face was an inch from mine, our noses brushing against each other - and without a second thought -

I pushed my lips onto his,

His hand flew to the back of my neck, dragging me even closer between the covers as our kiss deepened. I felt a stream of courage as I climbed on top of him with our lips still glued to each other,

I straddled him, with a sheet shrouded around me as he pushed himself up in the bed, leaning against the headboard,

He pulled away, eyes snapped to mine, '' We don't have to,'' He breathed out, heavily as his grip around my spine tensed,

I felt a smile twisting in the corner of my mouth before I dipped down to his lips again, caressing them gently, whispering into his parted rims, '' But I want to,''

My words shipped him off the edge, his hands exploring my naked back as my hips grounded over his length - my hands sought to clung around his neck, and he propped himself up even more, almost sitting up against the headboard,

'' Fuck, '' The blonde one grunted out, his chest massively moving up and down into mine as his lips explored to mark my neck, '' You have no idea how much I love this-,'' He panted in between pecks, nibbling on my delicate skin, my heat grew soaked,

I threw my head back, granting him even more access to my throat - tasting his bulge throbbing underneath me,

It was something with the way he touched me,

The way his skin felt on mine,

That drove me insane - mad - wild,

His head yanked back as cold hands found their way up my thighs. '' Up,'' He demanded, and I obeyed - without another thought, my lips located their back to his as he tore the sheet between us away, devising both of us exposed - bare - naked,

I once again felt his thick cock hungrily waiting to enter me as he shot me a bold glare. I let my hips rock back and forth over him, the moist flares of my pussy slid perfectly over his dick - tilting back, looking at him as I'm doing so,

His eyes shot all over me in the darkness highlighted by the moonlight peering through one of his windows,

I felt my hips move faster as his tip teased my clit, '' Fuck,'' Draco groaned in pleasure as his fingers dug into my skin with force, one of his hands dived down to urge his eager bulge inside of me - and I let out a loud, shaky gasp when he does,

I shut my eyes closed, whimpering by his size harshly thrusting inside me, my nails delving into his skin, as pleasure satisfied my every nerve,

One of his hands locked up to my neck, gripping tightly around it - craving for me to open my eyes, and I do - I stripped my centers open to meet blue eyes,

I stared into his orbs for a fleeting moment as my hips rocked in high speed - this position caused me to feel everything - to feel every inch of his throbbing cock sliding in and out of me with force - my walls clenching around him, sensitively,

I felt waves of pleasure shudder through my whole existence as his hands found my hips again, grasping them coarsely to encourage me to rock harder - '' Fuck, darling, I fucking love-, '' He hewed himself off, my forehead sagging against his, eyes bored into one another - drops of sweat coursing down his temples over to mine,

'' Promise me something,'' He moaned into my severed lips, thrusting mercilessly as my hips served on top of his,

I felt my insides clench, the tingling feeling taking over my entire being as I fucked him - as he fucked me, '' What?'' I gasped, biting his lower lip,

Draco slowed his pace down, lightly shoving himself in and out of me - staring intensely into my eyes as we breathed the same air, '' Promise me to be mine, no matter what,'' He sighed,

I promise,

I promise to be yours,

Forever,

I looked at him with wide eyes; his words caught straight through my heart as I nodded,

'' I promise,''

A shy smile grew onto his edges, almost a cheeky smile as he looked at me with soft eyes. I leaned in once more, gently kissing his lips, '' I promise to be yours, no matter what,'' I spoke as I shot him a sweet look, but he missed his speed,

Draco stayed slow; his eyes were starved - hungry - needing - but his touch was kind - soft - loving - the slow pace caused my bones to clench again, even if I loved the severity he always fucked me with - this was different - better, my body had time to embrace every thrust - every sense,

'' Draco, I'm-'' I cried, my fingers flew to the headboard as my fists tensed around it - pushing my chest closer to his. He wrapped his arms around my waist, hauling me even closer, making his dick stretch spots I didn't even know existed, '' Draco, I'm cumming,''

His lips grazed my breasts, sucking on my nipples as he stayed pushing into me with tamed moves, '' Cum for me - fucking cum for me,''

And I did, my whole existence shivered as my eyes pooled - I arched my back and his body was so close to mine - feeling his sweaty skin slide towards mine as he pounded me from beneath,

'' That's my girl,'' He cooed into my breasts, hitting harder and harder - every thrust went deeper and deeper through my orgasm '' Fuck - I'm'' He grunted, his grip around me stiffed as warm, white ribbons filled my pussy,

His head immediately sunken into the crook of my neck, both of us out of breath, '' Never leave me again,'' His words scored into my soul, as I felt his chest heavy against mine, '' Fucking promise that you'll never leave me,'' His eyes begged mine, his touch pleaded me,

'' I promise, Draco,''

_____________________

I tossed and turned anxiously in the sheets of his bed.

Something felt - wrong,

He slumbered peacefully beside me, his eyes sealed, his chest lightly moving up and down - I felt myself smile at that - resting next to him,

I loved him,

I turned around to him again, and his fingers felt heavily on my waist as I buried my front into his chest, tasting his minty breaths fanning the top of my head - our heartbeats clocking in the same pace,

Even if everything around us was on the edge of bursting - I couldn't help but feel relieved and at peace here, with him,

I felt my eyes shift heavy as his warm skin hugged my flushed cheek - my mind traveled, into the imagination, the dreaming of things,

" June,"

" June, you need to wake up, dear,"

" June,"

I gasped as my breaths hitched, jolting out of bed with my sheet shrouded around me - her form stood restlessly before me, eyeing me down,

" Narcissa, what are you doing?" I yawned, rubbing my warm knuckles into my cloudy eyes - not certain if this was a dream or not, " It's late,"

Her eyes pleaded mine before catching down to look at her sleeping offspring - her lips smoothed into a thin line as her eyes pooled,

" I'm sorry, June. I truly am, but I need you to come with me," She spoke quietly, trying to conceal the truth that her voice split in panic. " They are already on the way,"

She rushed out of Draco's room, and I stood there, covered in a silky green sheet, nearly feeling my heart melting by the look of Draco, blond strands of hair messily framed his temples,

I shot the sleeping boy a guilty look before I poured off after Narcissa, hearing her heels echoing through the hallway, " Narcissa, please talk to me," I begged, seeking to find an answer in her watering eyes - but nothing, they cooed blank, " Please,"

She turned away from me in a brief moment, aiming to wipe her falling tears before peering back at me as I stood confused in the steps of the stairs, " Who's coming?" I asked again, feeling creeps crawling up my back, " It's the middle of the night? Who could possibly-,"

Her jaws clenched as she took a step up towards me, hewing me off - her hands cupped my cheeks, tucking a hazel-brown lock of hair behind my ear, gawking deeply into my centers, " Do you remember what I told you last year - about Draco?" She gulped, nearly suffering her oxygen, " About what he has to do? What he has to become?"

I huffed out, feeling every emotion imaginable rushing towards my edge, my courage being torn out of my chest,

This can't be happening,

Not Draco,

Please, anyone but him,

He's not ready,

I watched emptily into her kind eyes as I swallowed thickly," Yes,"

My heart stopped beating by the breaking look on her face; her lips parted, doing everything possible to form the words she's thinking. She looked so frightened for her son,

Both of us flinched by the sound of thunder and lightning embracing the Manor - I stared at her with panic tearing through my eyes,

" It's time. They will be arriving any minute now. "


	27. T w e n t y - f i v e ,

I looked at her with begging eyes, my hands tugging at hers, '' There must be something you can do — that I can do?'' I pleaded the woman before me, she stared at me with shocking eyes, '' Please, please Narcissa, let them do this to me instead, he can't—, I can't—,''

Complete silence as her eyes flew wild over me, still standing petrified in my steps, '' Narcissa, please.'' I begged once more, the thunder outside banging louder — the crystals hanging from the ceiling clinked,

A flash of light ripped through the room as the rain smashed at the windows around us. Her sights snapped back to mine, wide-eyed as she gripped my arm, yanking me back up the stairs, and without a word, she pulled me into Draco's room, shutting the door closed behind us,

I turned in my steps, feeling small by everything that's been going on around us. I looked at her, her eyes dropped to the floor, deep into her thoughts as another flash of light scored over us, and for a fleeting moment in the hast of the thunder, the whole room lit up, my eyes flickered over the blond-haired boy, cluelessly sleeping in his bed,

I caught Narcissa whispering to herself underneath her breath, causing me to hug the sheet around me, taking a step closer, '' This may work,'' Her darkened figure spoke, quietly, '' This may work,'' She repeated herself, louder this time — and I wanted to ask, I wanted nothing more than to ask what she meant — if she found a way to spare Draco all the hurt and suffering it takes to be a death eater, but the second my lips parted — oud shouting heard from downstairs, muffled by the thunder,

Both Narcissa's and my eyes snapped to the door, both swallowing thickly, '' I have a thought but only if you feel comfortable-,''

'' Anything,'' I hewed her off, my eyes begging hers, '' I'll do anything,'' and I would — somewhere, deep inside — I shared my father's mind, but I wasn't scared. I know that he's capable of many cruel things — but also what he's not, and killing me — isn't one of them,

Her jaws tensed as she sent me a slight nod, ''I know what to do,''

Narcissa told me the truth — that I couldn't be a death eater until my blood was unpure. Harming someone wasn't enough — I had to take an innocent life, and only then could his mark, my father's mark, be imprinted on my skin, and I could never do such a thing. And the only way for Draco not to be one was to be linked with me. I had to swear on my life to protect him, and if I ever failed to do so, even in the slightest way —

I would die,

Tears flooded down my cheeks as I stood frozen before her, '' He can never know, Narcissa.'' I pleaded her, '' He can never know this, you have to lie to him — you have to come up with something that he'll believe in — but he can't know that my life is combined to his.'' My voice cracked in despair — the thought of lying to him shattered my heart because I know how much he values honesty, but he can't know — not this,

'' You must understand what this means, dear —'' Her eyes caught her son turning around in his bed and then quickly back to mine, '' When they start the process of giving Draco the dark mark, you will—''

'' I don't care what they'll do to me, just— promise me that he'll never find out about this.'' I knew that I asked a lot of her, possibly more than she could ever provide me with, but I have to make her promise.

'' I promise, dear.'' She agreed, '' Wake him up — we don't have much time,''

I tumbled over to Draco, kneeling beside him — I felt my heart shatter once more when I stroked a few strands of hair off his forehead, lightly pushing my lips against his cheek, '' Draco,'' I breathed out,

Silence,

He didn't move a muscle, '' Draco, please,'' I whispered, louder this time, taking my hand in his; finally, after almost shouting his name, he jolted up, his frozen hand intertwined with mine,

Blue eyes darted between his mother and mine, '' What?'' He gasped, seating himself on the edge of the bed before he caught up with presence, noticing me standing in nothing more than a sheet,

'' What the fuck —mother, leave,'' He shouted, tugging me closer in between his legs, arms wrapped around my body to hide my almost naked self, '' I'm sorry, but she's—, you know—, almost—,'' His cheeks blushed at his last words, gesturing to my choice of outfit,

Narcissa merely rolled her eyes at his acts, walking up to us, '' Oh please, Draco.'' She sighed, '' We don't have a lot of time — get dressed, and meet me in the study.'' She spoke before pouring off; the door closed behind her,

I stood frozen, feeling Draco's hands squeezing around my figure, but I couldn't think — my mind was clouded by that dark, feeling of hatred — it chewed my bones, pained my nerves, the feeling made everything unbearable,

'' What was she talking about?'' His raspy voice brought me back to being — my eyes snapped to him as he scratched the back of his head, his eyes heavily tired.

I felt my body slip out of his grip as I walked with quick steps towards his dresser, roughly tugging the drawers open. I felt my patience leaving me as one drawer hitched, ''Bloody hell,'' I grunted out in frustration, forcing my palms into the dresser as a trail of curses repeatedly left my lips,

'' Stop, what are you—,'' He rose, catching a step closer to me — but immediately stopped when he saw the startled look on my face, his brows furrowed as to why I was acting this way,

I flung out my wand, mumbling a spell below my breath, and with a click, the drawer was pulled open. I picked out clothes for Draco before throwing them onto the bed, '' Put this on,'' I mumbled, stumbling into the bathroom to seize my clothes — we got dressed in silence, meeting his stare as I was done, '' We have to—,'' I spoke,

'' No, not until you tell me what the fuck is going on,'' He shouted across the room, his jaws clenched so as his fists — he looked angry as he narrowed his eyes in mine, '' It's the middle of the fucking night, why—,''

The sound of shattered glass from downstairs caused me to cringe as a confused look rose onto Draco's profile. I felt my chest breathing heavy, '' We need to find your mother, right now.''

His hand tugged me back, as he wrapped his cold hands around my waist, '' Not until you tell me—,''

'' No, Draco, we need to go, right. now.'' I endangered, knowing what was about to happen if we didn't make it to Narcissa in time — knowing that his life would forever be changed.

He rose a brow at my words, parting his lips to argue me once more, '' No—,''

But he didn't have the chance to speak his mind before I stood tall on my toes, pushing my trembling lips onto his, kissing him gently. His hands traveled to my waist as he pulled me in, closing every inch of space between us.

I needed to feel him, to touch him, one last time before the unknown had the chance to take my everything away,

The door swung open, making us jump apart, '' My apologies,'' His mother mumbled as she shoved the door shut behind her again, '' But there's no time.''

Draco shook his head, his jaws clenched as he took a step back from Narcissa and me, '' Do you remember what I told you about your father and the mind you're sharing?''

Her question iced my veins as I sent her a slight nod — knowing that she's dishonest, '' I was wrong. I read about it now—,''

'' Mother, what are—,'' Draco started, but both of us snapped our heads, looking annoyed at the blond one, making him roll his eyes as a trail of scoffs left his lips,

Her hands found my arms, holding me steady, '' We need to do a spell to save your life from Draco's mark.'' She lied, staring into my eyes, '' You need to be connected to Draco,''

I closed my eyes, feeling dizzy as the room around me spun - inhaling sharply through my nose, '' If you swear, on your life to protect Draco — both of you will be safe, '' She lied once more, eyes flickered up to her offspring,

I felt numb — I knew exactly what this meant. I was about to promise Draco, with the unbreakable vow to die if I wasn't able to keep him safe and he didn't know,

Because we both just lied to him,

I heard Draco and his mother argue, foul words and arms being thrown out in the air, '' A death eater, what the hell are you on about?'' His voice scored through the dull embrace,

'' Draco, stop,'' I gulped, sights raised to meet his as I clenched my fists — scrambling together the last pieces of courage left within me,

'' I'll do it,''

'' No — I won't fucking let you,'' He took a harsh step towards me, nostrils flaring in anger, making me take one back, '' Don't fucking do that to me right now, ''

My brows furrowed, '' Do what?''

He rolled his shoulders, visibly annoyed with me, '' Stop walking away from me, just — fuck —'' He shouted, both of his ring coated hands rushed through his sleek hair, '' Stop, just—, please. Don't walk away from me,''

I shook my head as I stood my ground, sucking my lower lip in between my teeth, '' It's not your choice to make, Draco.'' I muttered, my emotions forsake me, '' Let me make one fucking choice for myself - you can't keep-,''

I hushed down, chewing my lower lip — doing everything possible not to cry,

'' What am I supposed to do? What the fuck am I supposed to do if something happened to you? If you —, If you—,'' He stuttered, my pooling eyes caused his face to soften, his words hushed.

But Draco Malfoy was a bloody fool, not even concerned with the fact that he's deemed to be a death eater — he doesn't care. All he cared about at this moment was me, and that angered me, that he was so reckless with his own life — the life I will promise to protect with mine,

'' I'm sorry,'' I cried out as a tear rolled down my cheek - he shot me a guilty look —

'' Please, forgive me for this.'' I clutched his hand in mine, ignoring his attempts of yanking it back, nodding for Narcissa to whisper the spell, and the second her wand rose, our hands linked — a trail of light rose between us,

Narcissa cleared her throat; eyes flickered between Draco and me,

'' Will you, June — promise to protect Draco with your life?''

'' Yes, I promise,''

'' Do you promise to be bound to Draco and face the consequences if you fail to succeed?''

'' Yes, I promise,''

The shining thread of light meanders around our intertwining hands, and every time a promise is made, it shines even brighter, '' What consequences? '' Draco's voice scored the silence — my eyes snapped up to his as he shot me a hurtful look, trying to yank his hand out of mine,

'' It's done,''

My sights fell, not daring to look at him after I disobeyed him— ready for him to shout - scream - yell, but nothing,

Only the sound of pouring rain and muffled thunder cooed around us — I shut my eyes closed, releasing a shaky breath as the voices downstairs grew loud,

" We should join our guests," She spoke, softly as she tucked a curl behind my ear, probably noticing how scared I was — how much all of this frightened me, " It's alright, dear,"

I peeled my eyes open as she opened the door, gesturing for us to walk downstairs, and just as I was about to catch a step, Draco's cold hand tugged my wrist, pulling me in,

His head rested on mine for a fleeting moment, feeling his chest heavily against mine, " I love you," I blurted out - fuck,

I pushed myself back, avoiding his shocked eyes -— why in the hell did I do that? He wasn't supposed to know that, not yet,

But at this moment, there wasn't a thing I wouldn't do for him. I would do anything to look into those sparkling blue eyes for the rest of my life, to feel his breathtaking touch until the second I suffered mine,

I would bleed myself dry, in a heartbeat — I would give everything up without a second thought - and I would do it all, for him,

And that's when I realized that I had fallen deeply and utterly in love with him in the most heartbreaking way — I fell in love with his pain, and the pain he had caused me,

" Please, we have to go," Narcissa begged once again, and I did as she asked. I walked out of his room — leaving him petrified behind me,

My sights searched the darkened stairs, trying to recognize the two figures standing at the fall of them,

" Miss Riddle, such a pleasure," His hoarse screeching voice talked,

My eyes narrowed in his; my blood began to boil by looking at his pale features, the sleek blonde hair resting entirely on his shoulders, " Lucius." I spoke quietly - flinching by the cold hand that sought comfort on my shoulder,

" And, my dear, dear son," Lucius smirked, devilishly, stretching a hand out to greet his offspring, but Draco didn't move a muscle — he's placed behind me, with his hand resting on my shoulder,

" Father," Draco uttered coldly, as the figure still lurking in the dark catches a step forward,

His black, greasy hair messy over his temples and a black cloak dragged vividly behind him, " Malfoy," He nodded towards the blonde-haired boy behind me, before eyes snapped to mine, " Miss Riddle,"

" Professor," Draco greeted Snape as the grip of my shoulder tensed, my eyes grew wide by his words — "Miss Riddle," he has never called me Riddle before, but I guess that's all changed now, 

I tore my sights away from Snape's as they snapped to Narcissa storming out in the hallway, " Professor? " She stared confused at the man before her, " I thought my sister would—,"

" She's not — " He paused, peering over at Draco and me standing close before his neck snapped back to Narcissa's, " — Available,"

Her eyes hooded as she caught onto his words, and I could tell that she was worried — I had only met her sister once, and that one time was more than enough for me to wish that it wouldn't be a second time,

I turned my head to Draco, standing behind me on the last step of the stairs — even if he granted me with an encouraging shy smile — I could tell that he was scared to death,

'' Son, please,'' Narcissa begged her son, stretching an arm out for Draco to follow her,

________________

Draco Malfoy,

''I love you,''

Her eyes shunned mine the second those words left her pure lips, every concern I held in this life faded — because she was everything — everything I could ever need. I love her more than eternity could ever imagine.

I could see all the regret she consumed after speaking those words, but I didn't — I was dying for years, and she saved me, her love freed me,

I had dreamed about telling her how much my skin craved for hers when she walks out of the room — how much I needed her to feel alive — how much I love her,

That's when I realized that I had fallen in love with her in the most heartbreaking way — I fell in love with her pain and the pain I had caused her,

And then, she walked out — without even looking at me,

______________

'' Draco,'' June whispered as she gazed at me with wide eyes — the eyes that caused my knees to turn weak, '' We have to do this,''

I felt my jaws clench at the hatred of not knowing — not knowing what's about to follow, not knowing if she'll be alright. I blenched at her touch as her fingers found mine, tenderly hauling me down the last step of stairs, '' Go ahead.'' I spoke, subtly bowing my head at her, '' I'll be right there.''

She did as I prayed and marched after my father — my mother thought to do the same, but my hand grasped her wrist as I stretched her back,

'' I need a word,'' I silenced, my eyes watching after the girl my frozen heart arose warm for, before they locked back to my mother, holding shocked beside me,

Her hand cupped my cheek as she remarked how fearful I was — not for myself, but her. ''Draco, we need to do this. The dark lord—,''

'' I don't care about the dark lord, mother — don't you see that?'' I raised as my temper failed me, forcing my mother's touch of mine, '' I couldn't care less about what he will do if I don't become a death eater.'' She looked at me wide-eyed by my confession,

'' Can you promise me that this will work? That she will be out of harm's way?"

Her face lowered at my words as her hand stroked my back, " I know you love her, Draco — I do too, but you also need to have faith in her.'' I sent my mother a sparse nod before she seized me by the arm,

We stepped into the hall, and there she was, terrified but in some way, still breathtaking — her fingers nervously braided a lock of her hair as eyes caught mine. I took immediate steps towards her — I needed to be close to her, settling behind her as we overheard my father bicker with Snape and my mother — peering down at the girl in front of me as she leveled my look — giving me the softest of glances before she leaned her back to rest into my chest,

God, I love her,

Even at the worst times — she made everything feel safe.

'' Draco — it's time,'' My mother spoke softly, greeting for me to come to her — every bone in my body told me not to, every nerve urged me to stay with her, but I had to, deep down, I knew that I didn't stand a chance against her father,

I pushed my lips against the back of her head, breathing her in one last time before uncertainty seized us; my hands found their way to her arms, hugging her steady before she poured around, facing my stare.

Her hand brushed my skin, seeking to comfort me, and it caused my insides to twist — my heart ached, '' It's okay, Draco,'' She spoke, '' You'll be fine,'' I gawked deeply into her blue eyes before she stepped away and I did as my mother asked,

I walked over to my father and Snape, shoving my hands in my pockets, '' Draco,'' My father talked, planting a bare hand on my shoulder, '' Do you know what Professor Snape and I are doing here?'' I felt my jaws tense, sending him a slight nod, '' Good, son — then you know how not to disappoint me,''

My sights caught the professor as he took a step closer to me, his wand tightly held in his hand, ''Then let's begin,'' His voice provoked me to wince, peering back at June, standing small in the spacious room, my mother's arms swaddled around her - good, she has someone to comfort her if all of this goes to hell,

I seal my eyes closed, my heart pounding out of my chest as the room shaded, everything became quiet, " Wait," June begged, and just as I flayed my eyes open, she flung herself in my arms, " I'm sorry, Draco — I'm so sorry for this," Her sobs sounded throughout the quietness, " Please forgive me," Her chest fanned heavy against mine, for a brief second until she tore away, faltering steps back to my mother, devising me empty by her touch — confused,

My father let out a muffled snicker, " Young love," He taunted me as I shot him an evil glare, " It's time Draco, stop acting foolish,"

I shifted back to Snape, watching into his black eyes as shivers fled down my spine, " I'm ready," - but I wasn't — I wasn't ready — I was scared to death, but I couldn't let anyone see my weakness, especially not her.

My father snatched my arm, straggling the sleeve up, " Not a sound, Draco." He endangered as Snape raised his wand to my arm, and I once again shut my eyes closed, preparing for the pain.

I felt my heaves heavy as his wand stung into my pale skin and then, all hell burst loose within me — my cores bent in torture, cries of pain left my lips as tears flowed down drained cheeks, '' Stop — please stop,'' Was the only words my lips could form,

The hurt was unbearable as my eyes peeled open, witnessing the mark rising to form on my arm — I tried tearing away, but my father's hold of me was too strong, '' Be a man, Draco,'' He seethed as his nails dug into my bruised skin, '' Show the dark lord your allegiance,''

My bones ached as the wand dug deeper — and then — my heart froze,

Hearing my mother's outcries behind us as I snapped my eyes to hers — only to see,

The girl my skin craved,

The girl my heart needed,

Dropping pale and lifeless,

To the ground.


	28. T w e n t y - s i x ,

This chapter contains mature content,

_____________________

'' And that's the only way? I have to die for him to be safe?''

'' No, dear,'' — '' The only to protect Draco is to combine your life with his. The second the process begins and you're not there to defend him — you will be dying — but only for a minute. When they understand that turning Draco into a death eater will kill you, they won't do it,''

'' But you must understand, June — that this is only for a short moment, we will stop the second it becomes too much,''

'' Does it hurt? — Dying?''

'' No dear, merely to falling asleep.''

''I'm scared, Narcissa — what if they don't stop?''

''They will — they are not allowed to harm the dark lord's daughter,''

'' Will you hold me — when Draco can't?''

'' Of course, love. ''

I felt shivers racing down my spine, remembering what Narcissa informed me earlier, watching Snape brutally pressing his wand into Draco's arm — my heart pained the moment I caught his sobs shred through the room.

'' Narcissa,'' I gulped, peering up at the woman hugging me, sensing my chest stinging in pain — head cooed dizzy as my knees trembled, '' Narcissa, is this it?''

Her hands tensed around my figure, striving to keep me calm, '' I tried telling you this, June,'' Narcissa's voice shivered due to her son's loud outcries, '' I tried.'' I shifted in her arms, clasping her neck, doing everything possible not to drop to my knees, '' The vow, June. You're not protecting Draco from harm — therefore—,''

My sights searched intensely into hers as my cores twisted, '' Am I —,'' I swallowed, as the need for oxygen hurled, '' Am I dying?''

Her eyes ripped from mine, holding me close, '' Yes, dear.''

My body crumbled as my cheeks turned white, and all my mind was brought to was him — whishing what he wouldn't see this, hoping that the pain of the mark would consume him not to be bothered with me —

The pain prickled my bones, the desire of the vow to free him from harm smothered me, and then,

Everything became dark as my body collapsed to the ground,

Dream,

" What on gods earth are you doing, Draco?" I spoke between laughs. He glanced at me annoyed — striving to get the pieces together,

He rolled his eyes at the mess in front of him, throwing a piece of wood to the floor, " I can't do this, June," Hands rushed through his hair, towing it back in frustration, " I have no idea how I'm supposed to do this,"

I caught quick steps towards him, stroking his back, " It's alright, darling - we'll figure it out together," Draco stared at me with soft eyes as he shook his head,

" How am I supposed to do this," He complained, pointing a finger towards me as he dropped to the armchair behind him, " When I can't even do that," Gesturing at the parts of furniture on the floor,

A trail of huffs left his flares as I placed myself on his lap, cupping his cheeks in my hands, " You know what?" I whispered into his head, planting a kiss on his forehead, " Let's not do this, right now," I smiled, causing him to pull me closer,

" Let's just be for a minute, and then we can deal with this,"

Draco looked at me, the way only he did, " What did I ever do to deserve you?" He gasped, admiring me as he tucked a curl behind my ear, a cold thumb traced circles on my cheek,

" Both of you,"

His hand moved down to my stomach, gently stroking it. The one ring on his finger felt ice-cold — the same ring I had on mine,

" I don't know what I would ever do without you,"

His words still caused butterflies to swirl within me, after all this time, " You would surely not have a crib without me," I laughed, looking towards the mess on the floor, he rolled his eyes at my mocking — trying to lean away as I pulled him back,

Staring into the blue eyes I still fell in love with every day, noticing the blonde strands of hair messy over his temples — but I wouldn't have it any other way — this was perfect — this was everything,

" I love you, Draco."

" I love you more, June,"

___________

My body flinched, breaths heavy as I flung up in the bed — Darkness, everything around me held dark as I hugged myself, my skin felt sore, my insides ached, memorizing everything that happened — my hands sought to feel around me,

'' June — are you alright?'' Her voice caused me to cringe back again, '' Dear god —''

I couldn't even treat the fact that I was back in my room, at Hogwarts — all I could think about was Draco. '' Luna, where—'' I felt my throat dry as I coughed, her hand gently stroking my back, '' Have you seen Draco?''

Her brows furrowed, earning a blurred look from me, '' It's the middle of the night, June — why would—,''

'' Luna, please,'' I snapped at her, running my fingers through my hair, feeling the frustration eating me up, '' Can you just — have you seen him?'' She merely shook her head, blond curls falling over her angelic features. I dragged my knees up to my chest, holding myself,

'' Where were you?'' She prayed, still staring at me, '' You were gone for days and I—'' My neck timed hers as I cut her off,

'' What?'' I gasped, feeling unclear, '' Days?'' I felt my insides coil once more, my chest heavy, '' I was gone for days?'' My mind was so clouded with everything that had passed that I couldn't gather the words leaving her lips,

'' I'm sorry — I have to,'' I blurted out before struggling myself off my bed. I hurried through the halls, in nothing but my silky robe — the stone covered floor scraped my bare feet as I found my way down the Slytherin chambers,

My knuckles clashed hard with Draco's door — and by that, his door slowed open but nothing, his room cooed vain, '' What?'' I murmured to myself, remarking the book I gave him the first night of studying together, gone - for the past months, he had it on his nightstand, on that exact spot - but not anymore,

I turned around in my steps, urging my way to Blaise's door instead, '' Blaise?'' I yelled, hurling my fists into the wood, '' Blaise — open right now,'' and he did; he twirled his door open, staring at me with hooded eyes,

'' June, what are you—''

I pushed past him into his room, looking around in the darkness as a shape rose from the bed, making me let out a harsh squeal, '' Dean?'' I raised, '' What are you—''

Blaise sheathed his arms around my shattering figure, spinning me around in his hold, '' What happened?'' He asked, planting a soft kiss on the top of my head,

I reeled my head, shaky sighs left my lips as I gathered my words, '' Where is Draco?''

Blaise wheeled away from my grip, granting Dean a rugged look, my brows furrowed, '' What? What are you not telling me?'' I shoved my friend away from me — staring at them both, '' Tell me, Blaise,''

'' June — you shouldn't,'' He spoke softly, straining to pull me back in, but I took a step back as I rose a brow,

'' Tell me where he is, Blaise,'' I repeated myself, but his views lowered to the ground, resisting to tell me anything. The disbelief rushed through me, not understanding why he would do this,

'' You know what? Go to hell.'' I shouted before throwing the door shut behind me.

__________________

I sat at dinner with Luna — Hermione studied as always, and Blaise didn't even attempt to look at me after I urged him to go to hell — presumably for the better since I was still furious with him, for keeping things from me, for refusing to tell me where Draco was,

I slept in Draco's bed every night, crying myself to sleep in his covers. He's been gone for almost a week now, and every day it broke me even more — he was always the one who made me swear not to leave him, and then — he left me.

'' A penny for your thoughts?'' Luna smirked, taking a sip of her juice as I shook my head at her, deeply concentrated in my thoughts,

'' What?''

She huffed at my confusion, stretching a hand to brush hair out of my eyes, '' I said — a penny for your thoughts,'' Luna peered down at my hands, remarking my clenched fists — nails boring into my palms, '' June, I thought I told you—''

'' I'm fine, Luna,'' I forced a smile, loosening the tight grip of my hands, '' It's nothing,''

'' It's not nothing — you can talk to me,'' I felt a curve forming on my lips at her terms as she gaped at me with the most humble of looks, her look.

I gazed away- evading the subject of the blond boy, staring out of the busy hall as she jeered at me, '' Well — I can tell you my thoughts.'' She restlessly scratched the wood of the table, '' I think Hermione is leaving me,''

Her words caused my neck to clasp back to hers, frowning, '' Why would you think that?''

I watched as her face fell, the crease in her cheek grew — like it always does when she's upset about something, '' I—, It's—,'' She held, turning entirely to me, '' She's been busy with the two boys from Gryffindor, you know — Ron and Harry, and I think they're up to something,''

My face twisted as I placed closer to her — looking surprised as she noticed, '' No—, No, god no, not like that,'' She chewed her bottom lip in uncertainty, '' She's not honest with me anymore,''

The look on her highlights caused my heart to melt. It made me feel something in all the emptiness, '' You need to trust her, Luna — she'll tell you when she's ready. Perhaps this isn't something for her to speak, '' My words caused Luna's eyes to stretch wide, leaning back from me,

'' Do you trust Draco?'' Her words made my insides bend, my heart to ache, '' Do you?'' She rose a brow, impatiently waiting for me to answer her,

" Of course I do," I blurted out, staring blank into her centers, " Of course I trust him," I felt my fingers exploring to touch my necklace — the necklace I never dared to wear because of Cedric,

" You see, you trust Draco even after he left you, here, alone. But if you asked me if I trusted Hermione, right now — I wouldn't be so quick to answer that question," Her sights dropped to her lap, " It's hard - you know,"

" I know, silly,"

_________________

I laid exhausted in Draco's bed, as usual, crawled up underneath his sheets — doing nothing more than begging for him to be here, to have his arms wrapped around my body — that's nothing more than wishful thinking.

I felt myself fiddling with the necklace covering my neck for the hundredth time today as my mind strayed,

Flashback,

I flinched at the sounds of footsteps behind me, looking up at the boy sauntering up next to me, " May I?" He spoke softly, a hand scratching the back of his neck,

I rolled my eyes at his stumbling steps, " Had a little to much to drink, Malfoy?" I mocked him as he fell to his knees beside me,

" Maybe," Draco smirked, brushing the grass off his suit pants, " I don't kiss and tell,"

I felt a scoff leaving my lips at his words, glancing over his drunk self as he placed his hands behind him, staring out over the sunset — the golden strings of light flashed his skin, " So I've noticed,"

I allowed my sights to watch over the lake. Warm breezes of wind caressed my cheeks, " What are you doing out here?" He grinned, white teeth showing, " Shouldn't her majesty be enjoying her party?"

A trail of laughter followed his words, " You only turn sixteen once, you know," I shook my head at the blond boy, shoving a shoulder into his,

" Unfortunately," I spoke, " Besides, from the looks of it — you enjoyed the party for the both of us,"

His head fell to my shoulder as he pulled me closer,

" You look pretty tonight," I held my veins ice by the words leaving his lips,

" You're drunk, Draco — perhaps you should get some sleep," His head rose, blue eyes met mine as his fingers traveled up to stroke my cheek,

My breaths hitched by the touch of this freezing skin, " How do I not love you?" He slurred out before tending away, laying down on his back,

My heart fluttered at his terms as I watched him fiddling with his rings, " It's a good thing that you won't remember this tomorrow," I smiled, once again rolling my eyes at him,

" That's why I'm saying it," He chuckled between hiccups, " Wait," He heaved, hands flying down to his pockets to pull out a little black box, " Here-,"

Draco stretched his hand out, planting the box in my lap, " I picked it out myself,"

I looked at him as he smiled before resting his head on the grass again. I opened the little box with hesitant fingers before I saw the piece of jewelry inside, " Draco," I gasped, peering down at the silver necklace — blue diamonds embedded into the chain,

" It's beautiful,"

" Just like you," He breathed, eyes closed as he scratched his nose, " Happy birthday, June,"

I stared shocked at him as he rose his head, staring back at me, " It really is a good thing that I won't remember this tomorrow,"

" Back to hate each other, right?" I huffed as he placed a hand on mine,

" Right,"

_____________

I felt a tear surging down my cheek, holding myself tightly as I thought of it, and he didn't even remember because the later weeks, after giving me that necklace; he refused speaking to me — I didn't exist, I was nothing — but I didn't mind at the time — he was nothing to me too,

But now, he's everything,

Hours passed, tears rolled as my mind kept rambling — kept seeking for him,

I tossed and turned in the bed, breathing heavily into his pillow. The scent of him caused my heart to ache. I missed him so much — a week, without as much as a word was cruelty, the not knowing was torture — Narcissa didn't even respond to the letters I sent her, asking about what happened — they just left me, alone in the oblivion of not knowing,

My body cringed by the door unlocking, weak and confused I seated myself in the bed and there — he was,

Standing in the doorway,

Looking at me, blue eyes bored through mine,

And then — his face fell, a hand slapped over his mouth to cover his trembling lips, unsteady breaths leaving his throat. I couldn't move — my body felt listless in the bed, every thought imaginable echoed through my mind as I stared at him, noticing how battered he looked, how the dark circles under his eyes had turned purple, the sleek hair being messy, the light I always loved in his eyes flashed shallow,

" Say something,"

His voice made me wince again, fear tearing through his vocals, " Please say something,"

I sensed the nauseous feeling drowning me from within — all I wanted to do was to throw myself into his arms and hold him, but he left me,

He left me,

Without a word,

" For fucks sakes, June — say something," He shouted, slamming the door shut behind him as the fallen look on his face turned hard,

" What?" I gasped, thrusting myself up in the bed as a questioning look lifted his temples, " What do you want me to say, Draco?" I waved, running my hands through my hair,

Jaws clenched as did his fists the second he caught onto my words, " Don't fucking do that, you have no idea—,"

" Then tell me, Draco." I cut him off, pushing myself off the bed, " If there's a problem, you talk to me—, not—, not just—,"

He lasts frozen, the sharp eyes bolting through mine as he ranged to settle his belongings down, " Not just what?"

I held before him, studying him all over, analyzing everything that's changed about him the last week, " You left me, Draco," I chewed my lower lip in doubt, my hands nervously towing the necklace, " You left me, and I don't know what you expect—,"

" I didn't fucking leave you," He shouted, arms thrown in the air, " I wouldn't do that,"

" But you did, Draco—, you left me, for a week, and then you march in here expecting me to—,"

A finger raised from the blond boy, pointing at me, '' No— you left me. You nearly died, in my god damn arms and I—, I couldn't,'' His strength failed him as he took dangerous steps towards me, shoving me back to the wall — components placed on each side to trap me in, " I didn't fucking leave you," He exhaled, minty pants satisfied my every sense, nose brushed against mine," I didn't—, I promise—, I just—, fuck—,"

He pushed himself off, pacing back and forth in frustration, ring coated fingers hauling at his hair, " Where were you?" I asked the exploding boy in front of me, '' If you didn't leave me — tell me where you went,''

He halted in his tracks, pale skin turned paler, almost as if he was scared, " No, I can't— it's too dangerous,"

The words devising his lips left me shocked — I caught a stride towards him as he took one back, avoiding my hand trying to touch him, making me blink quickly, " Talk to me, Draco— please," I begged,

He turned away. His back leveled me as I swallowed, thickly — afraid to pressure him. If there was something I knew about Draco, it was not to push him,

'' I can't June,'' He breathed out, tensed shoulders sunk, '' I can't speak about this,'' He tended back to me, cold hands rubbed my cheeks as he pulled me into him, '' Please— trust me with this,'' I felt cold thumbs stroking my skin as my heart found its beat again — he came home,

My blue eyes stared through his, frosting palms find their way through my hair drawing me even closer, sealing the longing space between us, '' Fuck—,'' He groaned, shaking his head against mine, '' I missed you,'' The hand tangled in my hair arched my head back, a finger moved across my jawline, '' I missed you so much—,''

Draco's lips collided with mine as he forced our craving bodies to the wall — lips hungry for each other as he deepened the kiss. My hands tugged the buttons of his shirt as he squeezed my bare skin underneath the robe, '' Don't leave me again, Draco,'' I whimpered into his parted lips,

'' Promise me that you won't leave me again,''

He leaned away, lips were swollen, cheeks flushed, '' You have my word,''

With that, our mouth's connected once more — hands running wild over each other, impatient lips flew down my neck, sucking on the tender skin, '' I'm not leaving you, ever again,'' He heaved between kisses. I drew my hands through his hair, thrusting his head up to match mine, straining my lips against his,

He pulled me back with him, laying me exposed on the bed as he towered over me, '' You're mine — and I'm never leaving you again,'' His words caused my heat to grow wet, shuddering breaths escaping my flares as I rammed him back, climbing on top of him — leaning down, brushing my lips against his as icy fingers roughly dug into my flesh,

'' You left me Draco—,'' planting soft kisses down his neck, across his chest, '' You left me and now— I want you to make it up to me,'' A trail of moans left his rims as I continued leaving pecks down his abdomen, tasting muscles clenching of my touch. My fingers tugging at the waistband off his boxers,

'' May I?'' I fluttered my eyelashes at him, sending him a sweet look as I fell to my knees — he merely nodded, eyes stared through mine in excitement, and I did. I pulled his boxers down, causing his length to fling out, pleasing my eyes as I took it in my hands, slowly pumping it up and down,

Draco fell to his back again, seizing the sheets with his hands as I softly kissed the tip, my tongue teasing his head, '' Fuck—,'' He moaned out, stiff hands flew to my head, as his hips rose to buck up and down, fucking my mouth — my wetness soaking wet of his efforts, drool sipping out of the corner of my mouth as he goes harder, '' I—,'' He grunted, '' I'm fucking—,'' His cock spurted white ribbons down my throat as his whole body tensed, '' Fuck—,''

Heavy breaths filled the room as I took his cum, wiping the liquid off my lip. He propped himself up by his elbows. Eyes narrowed in mine as he patted his tighs, '' Come here, darling,''

I did as told, straddling the boy my body longed for, feeling his dick throbbing below me, '' I want you,'' He spoke, pushing his spine up, sheathing his arms around my naked figure, '' I want to tell you something,'' His breaths warm against mine, his skin matching mine entirely. His blue eyes traveled down, noticing the necklace — a smile twisted in the corner of his mouth as he rose a brow,

My fingers brushed a few strands of blonde hair off his front, stirring my lips against his as he held me tighter, '' Tell me what?''

'' I—,'' He smiled into my lips, '' I love—,''

Both of our naked figures jumped apart as the door swung open, '' What the fuck—,'' Draco yelled, gawking at the boy standing in the doorway, '' Blaise, what the hell?''

'' Oh god—,'' Blaise faltered, turning around, " My bad,"

Draco dragged a cover over us, covering me with himself, '' Well — what the fuck is it?'' He bickered with his best friend,

" I didn't know you were back," Blaise said, nervously scratching the back of his head, " I'm sorry, but I have to talk to June,"

After minutes of complaining from Draco, he eventually let me go. I stepped into Blaise's room, spotting him on his bed. I placed against the dresser, staring at him as he tapped his bed for me to perch next to him,

" I'm fine right here," I stated, sending him an annoyed look, " What is it?" A hurt look spread over his features, lowering his sights to the ground,

" I'm sorry - that I couldn't tell you." He huffed, brown eyes snapped back to look at mine, " Draco made me promise," I felt my cores twist at his words - knowing how difficult it is to betray the trust of the blonde one,

I took faltering steps towards him, seating myself close, " I know," I spoke softly, grasping to hold his hand in mine, '' I'm sorry — I was acting petty. It's not your fault,''

Blaise's face lit up at that, a simper rose on his lips, wrapping his arms around me and my heart softened at his touch, '' I love you, June,'' He whispered into my hair, squeezing me close,

'' I love you too, stupid,'' Chuckles left his lips, favoring back to stroke a hand over my cheek, '' I really missed you, you know?'' He smiled, shaking his head, '' Remind me not to piss you off ever again,''

I playfully struck his arm, earning a scoff from my friend, '' I wanted to ask you something,'' He revealed, nibbling his lip in uncertainty before turning to his nightstand, pulling out a small box of flowers, '' Since the ball is around the corner and Malfoy is taking Pansy — I was wondering if you'd like to go with me,''

My brows furrowed as a toxic emotion flooded over me, '' What did you say?''

''What?'' He smiled, his face soonly changed in confusion, '' I was wondering if you—,''

'' No— the other part,'' I gasped, sensing my heart drop in my chest, anxiety chewing my nerves, '' The Draco part,''

'' Oh, yes — Draco is taking Pansy,''


	29. T w e n t y - s e v e n ,

This chapter contains mature content, signs of self-harm and suicide attempt — words spoken can appear triggering. Please read with caution.

_________________

I refused to look at Draco the following days. I was more than upset with him for taking Pansy to the ball that I didn't even give him a chance to explain — I ignored him at my finest by locking myself in my room,

Flashback to a few nights ago,

The pounding on my door echoed loud as I pushed my palms into the wood, " Draco, please stop," I shouted from the back of my throat, " I don't want to hear it,"

" Open the door, June — right fucking now," He endangered, " I swear to god — if you don't open this door right now—" He hushed down, knuckles collided with the wood once more as I turned around, sliding down against it, drawing my knees to my chest,

" Draco, please," I begged through my sobbing, " I can't do this anymore," My head buried in my hands, tears drowning my cheeks as the door kept shaking against my back,

I caught him sigh loudly before his palms struck the door again, " Then let me fucking explain, please," His voice desperately broke in hurt, the torture of me shutting him out, the pain of me giving up on him, " Please, darling, please let me explain,"

" I'm sorry,"

" I'm so fucking sorry,"

My heart completely broke at his words, the sound of how heavily damaged he sounded as he did everything imaginable not so cry, " Please don't do this, June,"

" I need you,"

" I fucking need you,"

The tears kept on flowing, my body shuddering as he kept on striking the wood, " I'm begging you, please don't do this,"

" Please don't give up on me,"

I stayed quiet, smothering my cries as I heard him repeatedly punch the wall,

" Fuck—," He shouted once more before the silence greeted my trembling self.

__________

My heart ached in the worst way possible as the night of the ball rose,

I stood in front of my mirror, looking at my reflection. My dress was in smooth silk, midnight blue with thin stripes — Narcissa gifted me with it last week as well with a letter,

She told me everything that happened after I fainted that night. That Draco wasn't able to turn into a death eater until I had become one and that my father had found out about my efforts to work against him, she penned how important it was for me to stay at school — because the first chance my father held, he would take me away.

The most heartbreaking part of the last few days was that Hermione had left —

Flashback to the other night,

" Luna—," I breathed, looking at my best friend standing in the doorway, tears running down her cheeks, " Luna, what's wrong?"

She didn't answer me. She simply stood there as tears flooded, and that was the first time I have never seen my liveley — happy — joyful, Luna — numb,

She looked numb, broken, empty as I hurried my way up to her, but she backed away — she didn't even look at me. She stared blankly out over my room, holding her breaths,

Moments of silence seized, as tears kept falling down her drained features,

" She left me,"

Was all she could speak, her lips trembling,

" She left me without saying goodbye,"

My breaths hitched, noticing the bleeding cuts on her wrists, " Luna—," I heaved as my heart broke. I took a step closer again, wrapping my arms around her as she tried pushing me away. Her blood covered fists slammed my arms as I held her,

" She left me,"

" She left me,"

" She left me,"

The only words that kept coming were that Hermione left her. Luna tried with all force she had to shove me, hit me, and hurt me, but I refused to let her go. I merely held her as she completely broke down in my arms. Her chest felt heavy against mine as she tugged her hair, ripping strands of hair off before I could stop her,

" It hurts,"

" Everything hurts,"

" She was everything to me," Her voice shredded in pain as she looked up to me with hurting eyes,

" And she left,"

Her sobs echoed loud through the hallway behind us, " She told me that she loved me,"

I felt her knees weakening before we both dropped to the ground, " I loved her,"

" With all my heart, I loved her,"

" But still she left me,"

Her arms clung around my neck as if her life depended on it, and I pulled her even closer, holding her with all I had,

" Why would she leave me?" Her breaths fanned against my shoulder as she cried, everything she had held inside for years, she let out. Every time a sob left her lips, my heart broke even more - because I knew that there was nothing I could do for her now.

Hermione was the love of her life, the reason she even bothered to wake up in the morning after her mother's death. I had never seen anyone love someone as much as she loved Hermione. The love and emotion the two shared was everything, more than everything, more than eternity, and everything beyond.

" I can't do this," She blurted out, pushing herself out of my hold, " I can't do this anymore,"

She forced herself up on her feet, stumbling through the hallway, " Luna-, wait," I shouted after her, but no response,

I felt a breaking feeling tearing through me as I looked for her, everywhere — but she was nowhere to be found. The last place I thought to look for her was the Astronomy tower because I knew it was the last place she went before she came to me,

I felt the icing breeze biting my cheeks as I took the last steps of stairs. My breaths hitched as I looked over my best friend, standing on the edge, ready to jump,

" Luna, please," I begged, tears rushing down, " I need you,"

She still wouldn't look at me. She looked over the night as her pale hand held onto the railing,

" Hermione doesn't," She stuttered, leaning further out as the wind played with her hair,

" Hermione doesn't need me anymore,"

" But I need her, June,"

" I need her more than anything, and she left me,"

" I loved her so much,"

" I loved her so much it hurt — it hurt to love her,"

I took slow steps towards her, placing my hand on her cold one, " I know, Luna,"

I squeezed her hand in mine, bending over the railing to look at her, " I know you do, but I also know that she loves you — more than you could ever imagine,"

Luna took another step towards the edge, " Then why?" She whispered, her lips quivering, " Why would she leave me?"

And finally, her eyes met mine, and I could see the torture within her, how much she pained.

" I don't know, Luna. But it's Hermione we're talking about — she would never leave without a good cause to do so,"

" She left me,"

" But I'm still here, and I can help you, Luna,"

" Please, let me help you,"

" There's no point in living without her, June. I don't want to,"

Panic rushed through me of her words because I knew how much this hurt her, how grave her pain was,

" Please don't leave me, Luna. I can't lose you,"

Her eyes pleaded with mine, " I just want it to stop,"

" I know. I know you do. But this isn't the answer. This isn't you, Luna, please. Please don't leave me," I pulled her closer, " I promise never to leave you,"

She turned to me, looking deeply into my eyes as tears kept falling, " Do you promise never to leave me?"

" I promise, Luna,"

" It's me and you forever, remember?"

______________

I stared hopelessly at my feet; the black heels nearly killed me, and we haven't even left my room yet. I spared myself one last look, straightening my dress — feeling a bit uncomfortable with the makeup Luna insisted that I wore,

" We can stay in if you'd like?" I smiled as I spun around, almost heaving by the glimpse of her in her dress — light blue, with pearls covering the perfect dress, " Luna—," I blinked quickly, " You look beautiful,"

Luna laughed at my words, giving me a humble look as she stepped closer, " You're the one to talk," She mocked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I eyed over her angelic self, savoring the smile spreading her lips, " Are you sure you're up for this? Because I would love just to stay here and—,''

" She left me, June," Luna hewed me off, straightening her gown as she shot me a stern stare, " She left me, and that's alright because it's you and me, right?"

I felt myself swallow thickly, stroking the ridge of my hand against her cheek, '' Forever, Luna.'' I spoke softly, encasing my arms around her — breathing her in — she always scented like home, '' I love you so much, Luna, remember that,'' Luna hugged me back, tightly as she nodded into my chest,

'' I love you more,''

The both of us cringed at the knocking on my door; she stared at me confused as I twirled the door open — '' Ladies,'' Blaise snickered before his jaw dropped, '' Oh my—,'' His eyes fled wild over both of us, holding in the doorway dressed in a mahogany-red suit,

'' I'm—,'' He stammered, cheeks flushed in color, '' I'm one lucky man,''

Eyes rolled at his words as Luna let out a giggle, shoving him in the side — the moment I caught it — her laugh, even that vague one, my heart softened. I haven't heard her laugh in nearly a week, '' We should go — we don't want to arrive late,''

I felt the tension flooding over me as I imagined seeing Draco again, after ignoring him an entire week — fearful of how enranged he would be with me for doing so,

As we reached the stairs leading down to the entrance, my sights instantly caught the tall, handsome boy standing with his date at the end of them, and the second those enchanting blue eyes leveled mine — I missed my breath.

Every wrong thought I held, every unkind word I spoke, everything faded the very moment the curve of his mouth twisted by the look of me — sharp jaws clenched as he hungrily gawked at me,

'' Shall we?'' Luna greeted, provoking me to shred my views from the boy I loved, glimpsing at her instead, her eyes sparkled in peace as she held her arm out, twining it with mine, gripping Blaise's hand with the other. We strolled down the stairs, hand in hand — just like it thought to be — similar to what I dreamed it to be, my best friends and me.

My heart fluttered as we sauntered closer to Draco, sensing his intense stare boring through my pale skin — all I craved to do was to kiss him, to hold him close, to feel the safety he always embraced me with, but I couldn't — because he was with her, and not me. The moment we reached him, my heart burst, feeling a freezing touch, his hand stroked mine, iced fingers brushed over my knuckles, in secret — for only us to feel,

The great hall shone in grace, flickering lights spread the ceiling, drapes of silk coated the walls, the music spired throughout the dancing scholars, and every single one was dressed up in the most spectacular gowns and suits.

Blaise towed us in line to a table, right away, standing around it, " McGonagall really did the works in here," He smiled, gazing around at all the twinkling features, " She really did," Luna smiled back. Still, I could see how difficult this was for her — being here without Hermione. The bravery of my best friend never ceased to surprise me,

" Dance with me," I stirred both of them, moving back to the dance-floor, " Please?"

Eyes rolled as chuckles left their lips, staring at me like I was mental —

and perhaps I am mad, but we needed it. The reality crumbled around us, and all I desired was one night — one night where we didn't care about the horrifying certainty, one. night.

So we did, we danced and laughed the entire night away, every single second of it, and I felt more at ease there, and then — than I have in a long time, all because of them,

Luna hauled me to the refreshment table but suddenly vanished, devising me alone among the dizzy students — my head spun, heavily breaths after hours of dancing, tending over the counter to catch my breath before I flinched — sensing two cold hands shrouded around my waist from behind, pulling me close,

'' Fuck—, June,'' He groaned into my neck, icy ring coated fingers digging into my body, '' You look—,'' He breathed, leaning closer behind my ear,

"Breathtaking,''

Shivers rushed down my spine by his minty flutters fanning my shoulder, embracing me with his touch, and then, in a blink of an eye — Draco's touch suffered mine as my heart ached for more,

I swirled around, looking for the blonde-haired boy my heart belongs to, only to realize that he was nowhere to be seen. I rolled my eyes at his mystery before my sights clocked to Luna's, chatting with Dean and Blaise further down — waving for me to accompany them,

'' Dance with me?'' Dean greeted me as I made my way up to them, '' These two are too tired,'' He mocked them while sending Blaise and Luna a glare. Brown eyes snapped back to mine as he grabbed my hands, '' Please?''

I threw my head back, groaning loudly before I looked back at him, '' Fine,'' I took his hands as he pulled me out on the dance-floor, a warm hand wrapped around my waist as he took my hand in the other one, slowly moving us back and forth,

I peered up at him, noticing his eyes gazing over Blaise, '' You and Blaise, huh?'' I smiled up at him, brown eyes flickered back to mine as he tried to conceal his smile, '' Don't mind me — I'm happy that Blaise has someone,''

Dean gaped at me, wide-eyed as he spun us around, making my dress swirl vividly, '' He really is something,'' Dean grinned, cheeks blushing as I rested my head on his chest, '' But I love him,''

'' I'm happy for you,'' I mumbled through the music before my neck snapped up to his again, '' But — if you hurt him, '' I held, a curve arched on my lips, '' I'm the dark lord's daughter, Dean — make sure not to hurt my best friend,'' I mocked him, making him chuckle,

'' I promise — I won't hurt him,'' He spoke truthfully before pulling me closer to spin us around again. I let my gaze study the room before my eyes caught him — blonde strands of hair fell entirely over his temples, his blue eyes had the strength of lighting up an entire room, and then, he narrowed his eyes in mine,

I felt my breaths heavy against Dean's chest, noticing how Draco rose a brow, jaws clenched in jealousy. I chewed on my lower lip as he studied my every move, my every step — sucking my lip in between my teeth caused Draco to shove his clenching fists into his pockets, seeing how his whole face hardened at the glance of Dean's hand around my waist.

He dangerously shook his head before I ripped my sights away. I could look at him forever. He was everything I could ever wish for,

'' You and Draco, huh?'' Dean impersonated me, making my eyes lock his, brows furrowed, '' I'm sorry — I didn't mean to,'' He faltered, peering at me with concern,

I could sense the emotion flushing throughout me as I smiled to myself, '' I guess so—,''

'' You guess so?'' He quoted me, scratching the back of his head as I stopped in our movements, '' Why just — you guess so?''

'' Because he hurt me, Dean — he has an ugly habit of hurting me, even when he doesn't need to and I—,'' I sucked in a harsh breath as my sights floored — Dean coiled his arm around me once more, moving us to the music,

'' And you—,''

'' And I'm scared, Dean — I'm so afraid for him because my—,'' I swallowed thickly, frightened to reveal my feelings, fearful of showing weakness,

'' My father expects certain things from me, and I can't risk—,'' My centers pooled due to my words, the lump in my throat grew in high speed as my forehead fell to his chest, '' He can't get hurt — I would never forgive myself if he—,''

'' It's alright, June,'' He hugged me tightly, '' You know — there are things a human shouldn't have to go through alone, and this sounds like one of those,''

My neck clocked up to view the humble boy before me, '' I'm scared, Dean — I'm scared all the time.'' His heated hand stroked a tear off my cheek, '' It's alright to be afraid. I would be too, but you don't have to go through this alone,''

My heart throbbed at his words as he noticed, '' Go—,'' He smiled as he let his arms off me,'' Go find that bloody Slytherin,''

And I did — I looked for Draco everywhere, in his room, in the hallways, in the classrooms, even out on the courtyard, but he was nowhere to be found.

I marched back to my room, cursing underneath my breathe for messing everything up, '' Stupid, stupid, stupid,'' I grumbled for myself as I walked through the common room, still hearing the muffled noises of music playing,

My door clicked open as I stepped inside — my sights instantly fell to the blonde-haired boy lounging on my bed,

'' Draco?'' I gasped, staring shocked at him as he seated himself. The annoyed look on his features dropped as he settled blue eyes on mine,

Draco rose from his seat, catching steps towards me — still dressed in his handsome all-black suit, '' There you are,'' He mumbled, standing close, '' Did you have fun with Dean?'' He teased me with clenched jaws,

'' Did you have fun with Pansy?'' I snapped back, raising a brow. He seized a step back, shoving his fists into his pockets, sending me a glare,

'' Don't do that,'' He spoke, voice loud as he pointed a finger at me'' Don't fucking do that — you didn't want to listen to me. I tried to explain—,''

'' I know,'' I hewed him off, taking him off guard with my honesty '' It was stupid — I know. I should've listened to you,'' Startled eyes narrowed in mine as his features softened.

'' I had to go with her, June — my father promised her father that—,''

I shook my head at him, making him quiet down, '' I don't care, Draco — I trust you. I was acting childish and I—,''

'' Come here,'' He spoke softly, cutting me off — icy hands sought mine as he pulled me into him. The warmth of his chest drowned all my worries as I sheathed my arms around his neck, sensing cold arms flying around my waist,

'' We never got to dance,'' He murmured into my head. I felt my heart melting at his words, my mind clouded by the handsome boy before me, '' And I need to tell you something—,''

His chest heaved heavy, '' But life keeps getting in the way—,'' He moved us around slowly through the darkness of my room,

Silence,

Draco stayed quiet as he slow danced with me, holding me close — only the sound of our breaths shredded the quietness,

He served back, veiny hands cupped my cheeks — the icing taste of them lingered goosebumps on my skin, ''June?'' He whispered, gawking intensely into my eyes,

'' Yes?''

Thumbs traced circles on my skin as he tended closer, settling a soft kiss onto my lips — and I kissed him back, without question.

I tore our kiss in two — taking a step back as he stared at me, confused.

My hands explored the strap hugging my shoulder before I hauled it down, signing my hand stroke over my chest before drawing down the other one, without once breaking our intense eye contact,

My dress slipped off my body, falling to the floor as his sights followed — leaving me in nothing but my underwear. Draco's eyes gently made their way up to please mine as he chewed on his lip, slowly reeling his head at me,

I stepped out of my heels, using tender footsteps towards the blonde boy my skin pleaded for as he held frozen before me — I stroked my hands over his clothed chest, straining his jacket off — unbuttoning his shirt, devising him in nothing but his suit pants.

Draco's pale skin shimmered in the moonshine as he peered down on me, tenderly wrapping his arms around my figure before guiding me towards the bed,

He laid me down as he soared on top of me, praising my hungry body, slowly stroking a cold finger down my neck, over my chest down to my abdomen, '' Beautiful—,'' He panted out, running his tongue over his bottom lip,

My body begged for his touch as I stretched my back to push my lips against his — he deepened our kiss, urging me to lay on my back again, '' I hated you—,'' He spoke, softly — his hands traveled beneath my back to take the bra off,

'' I hated you so much—,'' Minty breaths fanned my neck as he left my chest exposed, planting pecks down my throat, '' For so many years — I despised you,'' A chilly hand grasped my thigh as he shoved himself closer,

Teeth biting on my sensitive skin as he kissed his way down my body, leaving marks as he went, '' Do you know why I hated you, June—?'' He groaned as he fell to his knees beside the bed, striving my legs apart,

'' Do you know why I loathed you all those years—?'' He carefully tugged my underwear down. Soft kisses settled on my inner thighs, his edges made their way down to my wetness, '' Answer me,''

I hunched my back as his tongue lapped a strap up my slit, '' I need you to answer me, June,''

'' No—,'' I raised as eyes rolled to the back of my head the second his lips sucked on my clit, '' I don't know why you hated me, Draco,'' My hands sought to find his, tangling my heated fingers with his cold ones as he rose his speed,

'' You don't—?'' He mumbled through the strokes of his tongue, my insides coiled in pleasure as my fingers tensed around his, '' Draco—,'' I wanted to squeeze my legs together, the things his tongue caused me to feel as it swirled around my clit, '' Draco, please—,'' I begged,

He tore away, running a thumb over his lips as blue eyes bored through mine, '' You were too honest for me—, '' He spoke, unbuckling his belt, shoving his pants and boxers down before mounting me again, '' Too warm—,''

I felt his hard cock eagerly, stroking up and down my folds as he placed kisses on my jawline — my every nerve was on edge, every inch of my skin tender burned in lust, '' Draco, please—,'' I pleaded for him to thrust inside me. I needed to feel him,

'' Too caring—,'' He cooed into my ear, thrusting his tip into my wet pussy, '' Fuck—,'' I breathed out as he kept my arms down, stroking his nose against mine,

'' Too pure—,'' His hips slowly bucked back and forth, before quicking his pace, '' Too good, you were too good for me—,'' My nails bored in his back as he forced himself deeper, '' I don't deserve you—,'' His lips matched mine, breathing heavily into each other,

'' I don't fucking deserve you—,''

His words caused my stomach to clench, my bones bending in euphoria as he pounded himself in and out of me, " That's why I hated you — for all those years-,"

My teeth sucked his lower lip as his minty breaths embraced my profile, moaning into each other's mouths, " All the nights I laid awake, thinking about your skin — how good I knew it would feel on mine—,"

His fingers searched for mine as he shook my whole being, fucking me with might, " Draco—," I whimpered, my back curved as he went deeper, every pound more intense, drops of sweat fled his forehead, " I wanted you so bad, so bad I hated you for it—,"

My body trembled underneath his as he pulled himself out, turning to lean against the headboard, " Get on top of me, June," He rushed a hand through his hair as he tugged me closer, and I did as told,

I climbed on top of Draco, tasting his hands stroking up and down my middle as I lowered myself over him, rolling my hips over his — chewing on my lower lip, feeling his cock striking places I didn't even know existed,

" I hated you so much—," He drew me closer, settling kisses in the crook of my neck, " This fucking spot—," He groaned, " I fucking love this perfect crook—," I felt my core aching in pleasure as I hastened my rate, wrapping my arms around his neck,

" Draco—, I can't—," I cried out, fanning heavily into his ear, " Cum for me, darling — I want to feel you cum all over my dick—," Cold hands cupped my cheeks as he tilted his forehead against mine, chests heaving against each other's, lips parted, " Cum for me—,"

And I did, my whole being wrenched on top of him as he pushed himself up, his length felt more in-depth than ever before, " Draco—," I shouted as my head sunk to his shoulder,

His hands rushed to my hips, striving for them to keep rolling, bucking himself up and down, " Fucking hell—," He panted out, sensing his warm ribbons filling my pussy as he bent his head back — blonde strands of hair messy over his temples,

He swallowed thickly, catching his breath as he stared intensely into my eyes, tucking a curl behind my ear. I felt my cheeks flustered as he smiled at me, still on top of him,

The spine of his hand stroked my flushed cheek, 

" I love you, June,"


	30. T w e n t y - e i g h t ,

Mature content ahead.

_______________________

The days grew darker, as the surroundings dimmed, and everyone held on edge, knowing that terrifying times approached us,

But in some way, I didn't fear the unknown as I thought I would,

Because I had him and her.

Luna and Draco caused everything to seem brighter, easier, plainer.

We spent our days with breakfast, class, lunch, class, dinner, sleep, and then it all started over again, like usual. The professors believed that our schedules should go on as it did before — for it to feel ordinary, even though nothing were,

The only thing different from before all this madness took place was the fact that Draco accompanied me everywhere, even to the bathroom — he simply stood outside and watched me like a hawk,

He didn't speak much when my friends were around — he made it clear that he didn't enjoy the company at all, which caused him and Luna to bicker, a lot.

But still, he stayed. He never left me alone,

Flashback to a few weeks ago,

" What is it?" I asked quietly. His chest hugged my back as his hands clenched around the railing. 

I tore my sights from the remarkable view the top of the Astronomy tower could reach, " Hm?" He hummed, resting his head on mine,

My head fell back to rest on his shoulder, feeling the icing winter breeze tugging my cheeks, " You seem—," I held, chewing my bottom lip in hesitation,

" You seem upset,"

I felt his chest tense of my words, his breaths rose heavy, but I had to ask, he didn't act like himself anymore. I felt this sinking feeling of him being dishonest with me,

" I'm not,"

I swallowed thickly before spinning around in his hold, blue eyes matched mine, " You can talk to me, Draco - you know that, right?"

Draco's face fell at my words. His arms let go of the railing and wrapped around my waist, pulling me close, " I know," He breathed out, creating goosebumps to trail down my spine,

And for a moment, the silence greeted us, only the sound of lively wind sneaking its way through the tower,

His body tensed before he leaned back, staring at me with soft eyes,

" There are things I can't tell you. Not yet."

My sights grounded as a shaky breath passed my lips — my thoughts suited. He did hide something from me, but at the same time, so did I.

His hand softly cupped my cheek, tilting my head back to face him, " This has nothing to do with—," He held as he swallowed, " Us, "

" But I need you to trust me with this — please."

My eyes searched his, looking deeply into the eyes I fell deeply for, feeling his thumb in circles over my skin, '' Will you do that for me? Will you trust me?''

" I will,"

He looked at me, in a way he had never done before, flashes of honesty seen on his features, before he held me,

'' Never give up on me,'' He mumbled into my hair, as the wind tugged our bodies,

''Everyone always gives up on me — no one ever has faith,''

'' And I won't make it if you don't have faith in me — if you give up,''

My eyes pooled at his words as I looked up at him, pushing my lips onto his,

'' I am never giving up on you,''

_____________________

I felt Draco twist positions before wrapping his arms around me again, " Can I ask you something?" He blurted out, breaking the quietness around us. His face held a look of concern, making my brows furrow. I stared up at him, meeting his blue eyes as they pleased mine,

" Of course," I spoke with uncertainty, nearly scared of what he wanted to talk about — his cold hand moved up to my cheek, rubbing it gently, he kept his eyes locked in mine,

Draco sucked in a harsh breath as I chewed my lower lip, making his jaws tighten, '' Does this frighten you?'' He asked before clearing his throat,

'' I mean — are you scared?'' I felt my face soften at his words, pushing myself closer to his chest. I felt the need of comforting him — he sounded broken, upset, and in need of the healing my touch brought him,

I nodded into the porcelain skin, feeling muscles flexing beneath me, '' Sometimes I am, sometimes I am not, but I'm scared for Luna, for Blaise and Dean, my mother, your mother —,'' I arched my head, peering up at the beautiful boy in front of me, blonde strands of hair fell messy over his temples, looking at me wide-eyed,

'' And you—, I'm scared for you, Draco,'' I whispered, before burying my head into his toned torso again. The scent of him caused everything to feel safe, and even if our lives were held hostage by the future — this right here,

Him and me,

Us,

Made everything easier,

His cold hands pulled me closer, my nose brushed against the crook of his neck as he sighed, loudly, '' Don't be—, you have enough to worry about,'' His tone scored in worry, fingers tangled into my hair as he brushed them through it,'' I should be the one scared for you,''

I felt my insides twist at his words because I knew that I was lying to him. He still had no clue what the unbreakable vow between us meant, and I knew that I could never tell him, '' Are you, Draco — are you scared for me?''

I felt his body tense, swallowing thickly as he huffed softly, '' Of course I am." He muttered, words fading at the last letters — I knew how hard this was for him, dealing with the emotions of us growing close,

I stayed quiet, not wanting to push him too far. He cares for me, loves me, and that's all I could ever ask for.

'' I don't want this to end,'' He mumbled, placing a kiss on the top of my head as he sunk lower into the covers. His chilly fingers traced goosebumps on my exposed back. I felt a smile curve onto my lips by that unexpected touch, my heart fluttering,

'' It won't—,'' I pushed myself up, climbing on top of him,

'' I won't let this end,'' My fingers trailed to brush the strands of hair off his forehead as he glanced at me; the look of worry faded into a calm one — he tilted his head to rest in my hand, planting a gentle kiss in my palm,

'' Promise?'' He almost smiled — that smile did things to me, unexplainable things. I leaned forward, coiling my arms around his neck, feeling him brush his nose against mine,

'' I promise,''

I could feel his heart pounding, how his breaths slightly hitched as he pulled me closer; the scent of mint and fresh cotton clouded my mind. I fell lost in his eyes, the blue eyes I would do anything for before his lips caressed mine,

His hands tugged my waist, rolling my hips over his, rings digging into my flesh caused me to whimper in his parted lips — He pulled away, smirking devilishly before he pushed me back, earing a squeal from my swelled lips,

Draco towered over me, and blue eyes flew wild over my shocked front before he leaned closer; warm minty breaths fanned my chin as he trailed a finger up my bare thigh, making my insides clench,

Draco Malfoy,

I looked down at her, her eyes bored through mine in the purest way — the things I wished to do with her at this moment, feeling her pale, soft skin against mine was enough to drive me insane,

I was dying to feel her, to feel her walls clenching around my cock as her body trembled below mine, to feel her nails scratch their way down my back as I fucked her with all I had,

I forced my lips against hers, immediately receiving the attention I craved from her. Hands flew to my hair as she hauled it back. Every tug, every time her fingers let go of the strands of hair to grip it later even rougher, caused me to harden,

'' I want you—,'' She breathed out, her words stuttered in a slight moan as she bit my lower lip, '' I want you, Draco.'' I pushed myself closer, pulling my thigh up between her legs, feeling how her hips slowly rolled themselves against it,

She was as wet as she could ever be for me, and that made me greedier, hungrier — her need to feel my thrusts consumed me, she finished me,

'' Do you want me to fuck you, darling?'' I whispered close to her ear, feeling how her entire self tensed beneath me,

I knew what my words did to her. I've been studying her body-language for months, how a slight change in tone can cause her to shift in anger, how a whisper makes her whole body tremble, how the word darling soaks her wet, how she melts by the look of me,

How I melted by the look of her,

Her hands tugged at my boxers, feeling her tongue swirled around mine, '' I want you to fuck me, Draco,'' She trembled into my mouth, the soft moans trailed goosebumps down the back of my neck,

I pulled back as my eyes sunk over hers, her cheeks flushed in color, her nipples on edge, her hazel-brown hair fell perfectly over her shoulder as she sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth,

That exact thing was enough for me to cum. I hated her for doing so because it made me feel something, it did things to me,

And then she chewed on it like she always did and fuck—,

I pushed my boxers down, my cock springing out, hard as ever. I noticed her eyes dropping to watch me slide inside her, to look as I filled her up, and the second I do — her back arced like never before, her eyes rolled in pleasure,

'' Do you like that, darling?'' I mocked her, knowing what it'll do to her, how her whole being is about to explode underneath mine. Her perfect hips followed my movements as I roughly pounded myself into her, her walls clenched around my dick, and if I let myself,

I would release right then and there,

But I couldn't.

I craved to see her pleasure as I slowly pulled out before coarsely forcing myself back in, breaths hitched as my head dropped to her shoulder, kissing, biting, tasting my way over her neck — marking her, showing everyone that this — this perfect everything is mine,

And mine only,

I pushed myself deeper, so deep that she nearly suffered her breath as my teeth nibbled her skin — I knew that she has been with other guys before me, and that causes me to fuck her harder, deeper, rougher. She's mine, and I want no one else's touch on her,

But mine,

My lips matched hers as she arched her chest up to mine, breathing heavily, her chest panted hard while her legs shook violently. I loved fucking her. I loved the feeling of her bones caving for mine,

I pushed myself off her, staring down at her shaking figure as I bucked my hips into hers — her head fell to the side, her mouth slightly open as moans, whimpers, cries repeatedly left the swollen lips. Her hands sought for mine, braiding our mixture of cold and warm fingers together,

'' Draco—, I'm—,''

'' No—,''

I shut her up, making her eyes snap to mine, her eyelashes batting as tears pooled in satisfaction, '' You will cum—, when I allow you to do so,'' I grunted out,

Fuck, the look of her right now, her pale soft skin pushed into the mattress as I force myself deeper, her eyes begging mine, her hands flying to her hair, hauling it in frustration — she needs to release. I know she does, but keeping her on her edge is graver,

I gripped her hips, drawing her closer to me as her body coiled — she was too close, and so was I. 

I needed to cum when she did. I needed to fuck her through it. My nerves clenched, and I couldn't take it anymore. She felt too good. The way her pussy hugged my dick was overwhelming,

'' Cum for me, fucking cum for me, right now,'' I demanded her, and she obeyed — her moan echoed through her room as she threw her head back,

'' That's my fucking girl,'' I groaned as I watched her squeal,

Her spine arched as her eyes rolled — her fingers shakingly gripped my arms, feeling her nails boring into my skin, and with that, shots of pleasure tore through me, releasing myself inside of her,

'' Fuck—,'' I grunted as my body collapsed on hers,

She laid down on top of me. Her head felt heavy on my chest as she fell asleep — she always fell asleep this way, every night since I got back, her chest slightly moving up and down as her heartbeat became slow and steady.

I gazed over her with hooded eyes, noticing her cheeks flushed in color, her eyelashes twitching every five seconds as she entered the world of imagination,

I hated myself for leaving her that week. She did nothing to deserve that — but I had to,

The night I was deemed to be a death eater, the night her life saved mine from becoming one,

Her father found out. The dark lord entered our home once again as her body was hugged tightly to my chest — he wanted to take her away, he craved to punish her, and the only way he agreed not to was for me to join him,

And I did, despite the fact that my mother cried for me not to — every bone in my body caved, resistant to tell him about her, but I knew that it was her life at stake, and I would never gamble with that.

But I never left her, not in the way she believed I did. I was here, every night, placed outside my door as my heart shattered by her sobs. I knew how much I hurt her by leaving — if she only understood that after she'd fallen asleep — I tucked her in, leaving a kiss on the top of her head, every night of that horrible week away from her.

I wasn't able to stay away from her, and I never will.

She was everything, and I would give anything up for her to be safe,

I tucked a curl behind her ear, making her turn around from me, and the second she did — I felt empty, alone, shallow. It was crazy how much she affected me, the impact she had made on my life,

I closed her door behind me before walking down her dorm. My knuckles collided with a wooden door, '' Draco?'' Silvery eyes stared for mine, looking more than confused as I pushed past her — marching into her room,

'' I know that you know where Hermione is,'' I spat at her startled front the minute she turned to face me, '' Spit it out, where is she?''

She tugged at the curls tied up in a ponytail, nervously twitching her fingers. I could see how fragile she looked as if she was torn between two sides, '' I don't know—,''

'' Don't you dare lie to me, Lovegood.'' I tried to warn her, narrowing my eyes in hers as my face tightened, '' This isn't about you or Hemione, or me even — this is about her,''

Luna looked at me wide-eyed before she tore her sights away, slightly pacing back and forth over the creaking wooden floor, '' Don't you think I know that?'' She snapped angrily, sending me a hateful glare,

'' Don't you think I know this can kill her — because I do, Malfoy. I do.'' She hushed, swallowing thickly.

'' I know exactly what this means, Draco — Hermione, Harry, and Ron left. I know. I'm not stupid.'' Her voice broke in emotion as my sights grounded.

Luna knew. Luna fucking knew, and she didn't tell her.

I felt my breaths heavy. My temper almost missed me the second I caught her lie, '' Why, Luna. Why didn't you tell her, this is her life, she deserves —,'' My mouth shut close as it clocked my mind — Luna knew about this, perhaps she knew too much.

''Do you happen to know what her father asked of me?'' My tone scored icy as her eyes grew even wider,

'' What did he—,''

I flipped around, clenching my fists as I thought of it — how I've been lying to her for the past weeks, how I've been keeping the truth hidden — how I'm about to do something, something so vile, cruel, forbidden, and I couldn't tell her,

I was all alone in this,

'' Malfoy,'' Luna snapped her fingers, looking annoyed, '' What did her father ask of you, Draco?'' She asked once again. My fingers intensely tugged at the sleeves of my robe, feeling creeps rushing down my spine.

'' Did Harry find any?'' My change of subject caught her off guard, making her face twist, '' Horcruxes, Lovegood — keep up.'' I growled irritatingly,

Luna's face fell, her skin drained of color, '' How do you—,'' She rose but quickly hewed herself off,

'' Does she know, that she's—,''

'' No,''

Silence. We both rested our breaths in complete silence as we realized the truth. June was the Horcrux her father never knew about. That was the real reason why he couldn't split her soul — it was already torn in two.

I felt Luna eyeing me down before she cleared her throat, '' Hermione and the others, they haven't found any Horcruxes — not yet.'' Her words caused me to cringe, gawking at her as guilt and shame rose on her face,

'' And you knew?'' I hissed, feeling my temper raising to fail me, '' Hermione didn't leave you? What possible reason would you have for lying about—,''

'' I didn't know,'' She blurted out frustratingly, arms thrown in the air,

'' I didn't know, Draco. I found her letter almost a week later. There wasn't anything I could have done,'' My entire body froze in ice, my eyes narrowed in hers as I shot her a mean glare — furious as to why she would lie to her best friend.

I took a dangerous step towards her as she rose her wand into my chest, '' Stop it, Malfoy,'' She stuttered, visibly scared of me, but I'm not giving in,

This was her life. Everything was on the line for me,

I shoved her wand away, standing close,'' Where are they?''I sheeted, teeth gritted, '' Tell me where those little friends of yours are, right now,''

'' Or I will tell her that you've been lying — that she's been comforting someone in no need, for weeks,''

Her jaw dropped before quickly clenching again. Her eyes begged mine, " Please don't do this. You have no idea—,"

I narrowed my eyes in hers, hatred tore through my every vessel, fingers twitching, "Where are they?" I couldn't even think clearly at this point, " Where the fuck are they, Luna?"

Tears flooded down her cheeks as she completely broke down in front of me, dropping to her knees — but I didn't care. I couldn't. She lied.

I marched out of Luna's room, feeling my hands shaking in anger, not being able to control it. I had to lay close to her.

__________________

June,

'' Did you leave last night?'' I mumbled, still half asleep, '' I woke up and you were gone,''

Draco peered down at me; guilt flared through his eyes as he looked away, muttering no underneath his breath,

'' Go back to sleep,'' He spoke, and I tried to. I arched my back to fit in his position, resting close, his legs intertwined with mine as he sighed loudly,

But my mind couldn't rest, my nerves felt on edge — something is wrong,

I can feel it through my whole body — every vein aching,

And then both Draco and I flinched by my door being ripped open — jolting up from the bed,

My face fell,

Completely,

My breaths hitched, my eyes pooled by the look of her,

'' Hermione?'' I stuttered, gasping for air as she stood frozen before us, dried tears covered her cheeks, her eyes swollen and red,

'' June—,'' She heaved, her body visibly shaking,

'' Luna—,'' She uttered again, her words trembled off her tongue, '' She's—,''

My neck snapped to Draco the second I caught onto her words, but he refused to look at me — he stared down, his face had turned paler, his jaws clenched,

Hermione let out a sob, shaking her head violently, '' Your father—,''

My eyes grew wide at her words, nearly too startled to speak, '' Hermione, what are you—''

'' The dark lord, he—, he—,''

My mind became dizzy,

'' He took—, The dark lord—, he—,''

My heart broke,

'' He took her—,''

My world shattered,

'' He has Luna,''


	31. T w e n t y - n i n e,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope all of you can forgive me for this, but with battles comes sacrifice,

I stormed through the doors leading into my childhood home as tears drowned my sallow cheeks. I knew that I was yet again, deemed to face my father, but this time was different. This time, he had stolen from me. He had taken the one person my soul strived for,

I felt Draco's hand repeatedly hauling me back, pleading for me to stop and to think about what I was about to do, but nothing, nothing could ever stop me from saving her, ever.

Not even him,

Because it was her,

The girl who shun life itself,

The girl who lived to be my entire life,

My steps echoed heavily as I marched my way through the darkened vicinity, '' Luna?'' I repeatedly shouted until my voice broke in despair,

Draco's hand tugged me back once more, '' Please—,'' He begged as I stopped, spinning around to face him. His eyes pooled, his face drained of color, '' Please don't do this, you have no clue—,''

'' Stop it,'' I cried out, feeling every bone in my body crumble, '' He took her, Draco — He took her from me and I can't—,'' My existence gave in as I fell into his arms,

Draco held me, closer than he had ever held me before, '' I don't—,'' He breathed out, '' What can I do? Please tell me what can I do?''

I felt my tears speeding down my cheeks as I buried my head into his chest, breathing in the safety he brought me. I didn't need him to do anything. I didn't want him to. I just needed him to hold me so tight that I didn't feel anything anymore. I needed him to be here, and he was,

He always was.

Footsteps approached behind us, making us snap our head's,

Draco's warm embrace turned cold in a heartbeat as we placed our eyes on the man standing at the end of the corridor, '' Father?'' Draco hissed through gritted teeth. I tore my sights away from the blonde-haired man, looking back at the boy my heart ached for,

'' Draco—,'' I whispered, my hands cupped his cheeks as I bent his head down to look at me,'' Draco, you should go— you shouldn't be here, it's not safe—''

'' Stop—,'' He snapped coldly, blue eyes bored through mine, jaws clenching, '' I'm not going anywhere without you.'' His eyes flickered again as my arms dropped to my sides, turning around to face his father,

'' Miss Riddle,'' Lucius spoke, pure venom dropped off his smug tongue, '' How pleasant of you to finally join us,'' His eyes flared back to his son, standing behind me,

'' And Draco—,'' He hissed with sarcasm tearing though his voice, '' It's about time you take on the family reputation,'' His words made Draco visibly shake in anger as I took his hand, braiding our fingers together, striving to calm him down,

'' Both of you, come with me, please.''

Both Draco and I swallowed thickly before we followed Lucius through the hallway, shivers fled my spine as we made our way to the main floor. Everything had changed. Nothing held the same — very room had grown darker, the portraits were ripped off the walls, glass shattered everywhere.

I froze the second I watched his back face me — every nerve in my body shifted in ice. The embrace coating him was terrifying, death-like,

My knees weakened, my breaths hitched as I squeezed my fists together, boring my nails into my palms, and then — I felt Draco's touch, his hand tensed around mine as always, his touch brought me the peace I needed,

'' I understand that you noticed that something is missing,'' My father spoke as he turned around, leveling my eyes from afar — I knew that I was supposed to be scared, even terrified by the look of him, that was the sane thing to do, to be, but I couldn't,

Lucius stopped in the middle of the room, next to my father, both staring at us with might. The whole room tore in torment when I caught onto her screams — my jaws clenched as my insides twisted in hatred,

I stepped forward, making Draco's hand fall out of mine, '' Where is she?'' I spoke through my tensed jaws, but my father merely laughed at my words,

'' Silly girl—,'' He hissed, passing a step closer, '' Your actions will have consequences, dear,'' I felt my heart pounding hard within me as he came close. The coldness surrounding him sored my skin,

'' Did you believe that I would not seek the truth in your efforts, June?'' He seethed, lifting his wand to my throat as I caught Draco take a step further; my father forced the wand even firmer into my skin, daring Draco to take another action,

'' Wise choice, boy,'' My father nodded towards Draco as another scream shredded through my being. Luna's screeching voice revved over the room as I snapped my eyes to my fathers,

'' Please, stop—,'' I begged, feeling his wand searching more in-depth into my throat, '' I'll do anything, just don't hurt her — please,'' I felt my eyes pooling as he rose a hand towards Lucius without breaking our eyes apart,

'' Lucius, would you bring down our guest?'' My father asked, lowering his wand from me as he spun around, pouring feet away,

He swiftly halted in his steps, peering over his shoulder, '' Did you truly believe that you could deceive the dark lord himself — your own blood?'' He snarled as his eyes grew wider, the purple veins on his skull popped as he shouted, '' Answer me,''

His hoarse, raspy voice caused my whole body to coil, '' No—,'' I stuttered, my entire self shaking, '' I didn't—,'' A grin climbed his front as he turned his head away,

'' The unbreakable vow, my daughter — it's deemed to be a much serious matter,'' He walked further away, '' And you settled to put your life in danger, for something as foolish as love?'' The last word tasted disgustingly on his tongue,

I didn't dare to look at Draco. The look of him would cause me to break, and I couldn't. I couldn't show my weakness in front of my father. I couldn't show how much Draco mattered to me,

'' I did,'' I spoke coldly, twitching my fingers around my wand in panic,

'' Did you inform our beloved Draco the whole truth behind the promise you made?''

My breaths ceased as I caught Draco take steps ahead. I shut my eyes closed, shaking my head as every thought viable rushed within my mind,

My father took my silence as the answer he craved, '' I suppose not, June has kept certain things from you, Draco,'' He devilishly smiled, '' She promised more than only to protect you with the vow — she pledged to die if she had no power in keeping you protected."

I could hear Draco's heart breaking, his breaths ragged — but he didn't dare to answer my father; he stood frozen next to me. I felt him breaking apart, within the restraints of his skin,

'' And you, Draco — you have spoken untruths to my daughter as well," My eyes clocked wide open at his words, my core ached in disbelief as my father rose his wand to Draco,

" Draco swore his allegiance to my side by informing me all about your friends," The smile plastered to my father's lips increased, '' The reason we brought the girl here tonight — is simply because Draco made it clear that she possessed knowledge about Harry Potter,''

" June, I didn't—," Draco pleaded, but before he had the chance to speak his mind, my father hewed him off,

" Silence," The shout scored through the both of us as my father took quick strides up to Draco, " Stupid boy,"

But I couldn't think. My mind throbbed I pain of what he'd just told me. Draco is at fault for Luna being here, he did this — he did all of this,

Everything became too much, too much to handle,

My entire body trembled as they both noticed before all eyes snapped to the girl being dragged into the room by her arm,

'' Luna,'' I gasped, through a shaky breath, her eyes startled red, her cheeks sunken in tears before Lucius dropped her to the ground,

Her whimpers tortured my ears, and before I could run to her, to hold her in my arms, to promise her that everything will be alright — my father shifted in his cloak, pointing his wand towards her,

'' Crucio,''

My heart shattered as her body crumbled, cries ripped her lips,

I took a step closer, making my father pass my way, standing awfully close, '' Please—,'' I begged him, my eyes pooling,

'' Please—, I'll do anything—,''

Luna's pain twisted my whole existence, every sob leaving her lips crushed mine, '' Please—,''

'' Stop, just stop — please,'' I begged through shouting once more, his eyes bored through mine most evilly,

'' Anything, you say?'' He dared me as a dark chuckle left his throat, '' I have concluded that you can not show me your loyalty and unite with us until you've taken a life, am I mistaken?''

I shook my head, '' Perfect,'' He held, turning to my best friend battling the curse tearing through her bones, similar to knives carving her from the inside,

I was numb. I didn't even flinch by Draco's arms wrapping around me,

All I could see was her,

My father yet again pointed the crocked wand to her

My screams blew throughout the room as I sought to force myself out of Draco's arms, but he wouldn't let me go — I shoved him, I hit him, I pushed him, but he refused. He begged me to stay, but I couldn't hear him. I didn't hear anyone other than her,

My eyes were locked in hers, the light in my life, my reason to live,

Everything felt powerless, as if it moved in slow motion. I broke out of Draco's hold, running towards her, and then —

His voice ripped through my every sense, my eyes blurred in tears as the need for oxygen suffered the second I caught to the word,

" Sectumsempra,"

My father's spell hit her, like a train at high speed,

She didn't stand a chance against his brutality,

She tried to fight it,

But she couldn't,

She wasn't strong enough,

Her body helplessly crawled together, as did I.

I couldn't think as I heard her stuttering breaths,

I felt my lips parting to scream, but my breaths missed me,

The torture of her suffocated me. My trembling body crawled up to hers. Blood fleeing her pale skin as she closed her eyes,

Everyone and everyone around us faded. It was just us, her and I,

" Please, please, please," I begged in silence, pulling her onto my lap,

'' Please, help her,'' But to no use, nobody could,

My shuddering self hugged her close to my chest, and I held her with everything I had.

I was everything to her, and she was more than everything to me,

Her skin drained color as the redded blood stained her clothes,

'' Please, Luna. please, please, please don't leave me,''

'' You promised not to leave me,''

Her eyes peeled open as her lips turned blue. She couldn't breathe,

Her pale, small, quivering hand slowly moved up to tuck a curl behind my ear, like she always did when she comforted me,

Even on the doorstep to her death, she was the one comforting me,

A weak cough left her lips as she tried to find the bravery to speak '' June,'' She whimpered, her mouth slightly hung open,

'' My silly June,'' She tried to smile, but her lips wouldn't find the strength to.

Her body clenched in my grip as she let out another cough. Her blood covered my hands as I held her, closer than ever before,

All I wished for was to take her pain away,

Like she always did for me,

She always took my pain away,

I buried my forehead against hers, '' Please Luna,'' I sobbed, my tears flooded over her angelic features,

'' You promised,''

" You promised not to leave me,"

My body shook out of control as my world shattered,

'' Luna — I'm so sorry,''

'' I'm so sorry that I couldn't save you,''

'' I'm so sorry, Luna — please, please forgive me,''

Her wounded eyes found mine again as she sucked in a deep breath, '' You did—, You saved me,'' 

'' You did everything—,'' A cough ceased her once more, '' — You could for me,''

I stroked a tear off her cheek as, '' I am going to be with mother again,'' Her voice faded with each word, her eyes blinked slowly,

'' No—,'' I cried, burying my head in her chest,

'' No—, No—, No—, Please,''

'' There has to be something I can do,'' My mind sought through everything, seeking to remember the spell to prevent this, to stop her misery, but nothing.

I had never learned the spell to fix this, to fix her,

'' Look at me," She trembled, blood drenched her mouth as she tried to speak, clear lifeless tears fell her numb surface,

" I love you,"

'' I love you,'' She heaved again, and then,

Her eyes sealed, her mouth hunged as her breaths slowed,

The girl who sought to be life itself, the girl dancing her way through it all, was dying,

And I was dying with her,

Because I didn't know how to do this without her,

How to live without her,

I cringed by the touch of my father's wand stinging in my back, '' The girl is suffering, even if I cherish to see them suffer, there is only one way you can end this — one way to take her pain away,''

I knew it was. I knew that this, her bleeding to death, would cause her hours of torture,

I knew what I had to do,

She didn't deserve to suffer,

She would hate me for this,

I knew she would,

Because we all know what this means,

But I had to,

For her.

I wished I could go with her, in that way we would never be apart again,

It would be us, forever, my darling Luna and I,

I knew that she would wait for me, wherever her soul brought her, in which heaven she through to end up in, she would wait,

Because it was me, and her,

Forever,

I clenched my fist around my wand, holding it up to her chest,

'' I love you."

" I love you so much, Luna,'' I sobbed into her neck, breathing her in one last time,

The best friend I've kept close all my life, the girl who never left my side,

'' It's you and me forever, remember Luna?'' I breathed through my cries as I pushed the tip into her skin, looking at her once more,

The most beautiful human being of us all,

This world didn't deserve her,

I didn't deserve her,

I closed my eyes as a deep breath filled my lungs,

'' Until we meet again,''

A tear rolled down my cheek,

'' Avada Kedavra,''

All my life, she was always the one to call me her angel, but now, she was mine.


	32. T h i r t y ,

A memory is a star, or a stain, but not her,

Similar to what mother always used to say,

" Soulmates are more than just lovers,"

And she was, she lived to be more than everything,

My soul chose hers, and a soul tends to never forget that.

Her life paralleled mine in the most perfect of ways, and without her, nothing would ever shine the same again,

My tears poured as I felt her small body turn cold in mine, her chest stopped heaving, her pale skin faded further,

And that was it,

She was gone — and it was all my fault. I was supposed to protect her, and I didn't. I failed her, and I would live to pay the price for doing so.

My sobs echoed loud throughout the room, hushing the arguments behind me as I held onto her. I wasn't ready to let her go. How would I ever be able to let her weak, vulnerable body go? I wanted to keep her in my arms forever, dead or alive.

I wished to look into her eyes for eternity, to feel the safety and comfort she always granted me, to be alongside her wherever that sought to be,

" Draco," Lucius snarled, his voice broke through my numbness, making me flinch back to look at the men standing behind me, " Make her stop. The dark lord will return any minute now,"

Draco stood frozen. He merely looked at his father, his insides broke for me, his mind clouded by my loss, and he felt my pain, in a way he had never done before,

" Draco, now." His father hissed again as I felt Draco's cold hands wrapping around my waist, trying to pry me off my deceased best friend,

Iced fingers dug into my flesh as he pulled me into his chest, lifting me from the floor, " No, no please," I begged through tears, " Please. I can't leave her,"

" I promised not to leave her,"

My head fell into the crook of his neck, seeking comfort as he hugged me closer, " We won't. We won't leave her, I promise." He mumbled into my head before letting me down on my feet,

His hands flew to my cheeks, cupping them in a way only he did, " But I can not lose you. You have to keep yourself together, if only for a short while," His thumbs traced circles on my drained skin, wiping the stained tears off, " We won't leave her,"

I found myself lost in his blue eyes, the eyes my heart craved for, melting by the way the blonde strands of hair fell messy over his forehead. He looked exhausted, vein, the dark circles under his eyes stained purple, his skin almost ashen — I knew he played a part in Luna coming here. Still, I couldn't be mad at him. I was in no position to hate him because he was all I had left.

He rested his forehead against mine, feeling the soft skin lightly — this was everything. He was everything.

'' Weakness—,'' My father snaked behind us, causing us to jump feet apart, '' I never cared for weakness —,'' He continued as he strolled closer, embracing us in the coldness following him,

I stayed clear off his eyes, too startled to face him as I felt his wand pushed underneath my chin, arching my head back to level him, '' But now, when one of your fragilities is—, '' He held, peering down at Luna's slain body, a grin raised on his lips while slowly looking back at me, '' Gone — we may do what I brought you here for,''

The frozen blood within me fumed at his words, the way he found joy in her death — the way he mocked me for it. I drew my wand, without hesitation, forcing it into his chest as I met his shocked views,

'' You think this makes me one of you?'' I seethed, eyes pooling as I forced the wand deeper, '' If you ever think that this makes me on of you — that this shows you my loyalty, you're more then wrong, father,'' His eyes bored straight through mine, burning my soul,

'' I did this for her because you chose to hurt her, you decided this —, not me,''

My father's lips bent in pleasure, teeth showed in a cheeky smile, '' Silly, silly girl,'' He laughed, glaring down at my wand pressed into his chest, '' I'm aware that her death won't show me your loyalty,'' He grinned, taking a track back, letting my chin off his vile hold,

'' This was nothing more than a test, dear,''

I felt my jaws clenching, my centers caving, '' Draco, come—,'' My father whispered, gesturing for the blonde boy to stand next to him, and he did, he walked close to my father, evading my stunned self, '' I have a task for you,''

My eyes locked in my fathers, his eyes smothered mine, '' Yes my lord,'' Draco uttered, but barely — his body shook, violently and I could see how frightened my fathers presence made him, '' Draco—, I want you to do the honors,'' He chuckled, darkly,

'' I demand you to give my daughter my mark,''

I lost my every sense at his words. My eyes grew wide, so did Draco's as he snapped his neck to face me, '' I order you to turn her into one of us,'' He said, his finger pointed at himself — a moment of silence suffered, hearing Draco's trembling breaths heaving heavily,

'' I—,'' He stuttered, his lips quivering as I noticed how much this tore him apart, the choice he had to make between my father and me — me and the safety of his own family,

'' Do it—,'' I spoke, my vocals shyly shredded through the surroundings as I rose my head to parallel theirs, '' It's alright, Draco,'' I forced a smile, trying to bring him the bravery to please my wish,

The fallen look on his face dropped further, the ashen skin nearly turned white, '' I don't—, I can't—,'' His eyes flickered, his chest moved roughly,

'' Draco—, '' His father tried to warn, '' You need to do this,'' Draco didn't spare his father one single look, his blue, flustered eyes clocked mine, as dread washed over him,

'' Draco—,'' I spoke softly, neglecting the two men beside us, '' I want you to, it's okay — I promise,'' I lied, but in need to, because if I didn't — I knew what my father would too, he would take Draco away and make his family live through worse than hell,

I swallowed, shutting my eyes as I shoed closer, breathing deeply before halting before them, my eyes met Draco's, and even if this was a moment of fear, a memory that would haunt me forever — I cherished the truth of him being here, of him being the one to do this,

I winced, by the touch of Lucius wrapping his arms around me, holding me in a steady grip, '' Don't be scared,'' My father taunted me as he noticed my blood rushing faster, my cheeks burning in warm tears, '' Feeling is for the weak, and following this —, you will never be weak again,''

Lucius's hands strived to find my arm, bending it up before tearing up the sleeve, leaving my pale skin vulnerable for Draco to look at, but he refused to — his eyes searched for mine, pleading for this to stop, the look, that precise look in his eyes was enough to break me in two,

This did thing to him. This caused him unwelcomed pain, '' I love you, Draco,'' I whispered, almost inaudible, only for him to hear, making his eyes broad, jaws clenched as he swallowed, harshly. His lips parted, in need to say it back, but me nodding my head at him, reassuring him that I already knew, hewed him off,

I knew he loved me, more than I could ever come to understand — he was here, he was always here, even when he claimed to hate me, I knew. Some part of me has always known that he would grow to be more than just the cruel, heartless boy I hated,

I believe that we both knew, even when we didn't,

The cold soaring feeling of Draco's wand digging into my skin caused me to whimper, making Lucius tighten his grip around me, '' Don't be afraid, Draco —,'' My father urged, glaring at the both of us from feet away, '' You are doing her the greatest of favors,''

" You are giving her the purpose of life,"

Draco's pale hand shook fiercely, fingers tensed around the shaft of his wand as my father shifted closer, placing his hand on Draco's. My eyes sealed, my mind shutting down as I prepared for the pain. The need for oxygen heaved the second the spell scored through my skin,

I shut my eyes, my body weakened as cries continually left my lips in agony. Draco's voice tore through my ears as he almost cried out,

'' I can't—,'' He breathed, '' I can't do this—,''

'' She's hurting—,''

'' Please don't make me do this—,''

My eyes clocked wide, sensing the stinging feeling of a thousand knives boring through my skin as the ink took its place, the outlines of the dark mark severely coated my forearm,

'' Please stop—,'' I cried out in torture, making a grin surface on my father's lips, pushing Draco's hand down to dig deeper — to hurt more,

I suffered my breath as he pulled the wand away, stumbling back in Lucius' arms, '' You see—,'' My father seethed, '' You will show me loyalty, and you will follow me, it's in your blood,''

With those words, he snatched me by the arm, dragging me closer to Draco, '' Now that you are proven to be one of us, both with life taken and the mark engraved in your skin — our beloved Draco here is destined the same faith as you,''

The icing breaths from my father fanned my neck as he forcibly pulled my wand out, '' Lucius, would you do the honors?'' He spat, making me cringe in his presence, scared to death as I leveled Draco's eyes — the fright shredding through them seemed overwhelming,

He had given up. He sought to give in — to let this happened because hurting me, being the one to doom my life for the worse, was too much for him. He had done everything possible to keep me safe, to protect me from all the madness in this world, and now, he couldn't,

In his world, in the mind of someone who never felt anything but hatred and pain, this was torture, to cause the one person who made him feel, the one person who made his cold heart, warm, harm,

'' I don't—, '' I breathed out, my lips shaking as I tried to step back, '' I can't do this—,'' My thoughts surrounded the truth of the unbreakable vow,

My father swiftly drew his wand, aiming it towards mine, and by the twist of his hand, my body froze — the control I used to have fleed as my hand clenched my wand firmly, pointed straight at Draco, '' The power of magic, my dear,'' My father grinned, darkly,

'' You have no choice in this — you will do as I please, and I want you to grant this boy, my mark,'' His words slowly dripped off his tongue, vocals raspy yet low,

Lucius dragged the sleeve of Draco's jacked up, enough for me to once again see the scars from the last time he had to go through this, " Now," My father demanded, and my wand twitched in my hand,

The edge scratched against Draco's pale skin, blood sipped the marks of ink as I did everything not to. The boy's scream cut through my heart, his begs and pleads of torture broke it completely,

" Draco—," I whispered, hoping to shred through the trance of hurt, " Draco look at me, please," And he did, his pooling eyes reached mine, lips quivered as he tried not to cry, " Close your eyes, Draco, close your eyes for me,"

I closed my eyes, so did he, my mind striving to get to his — similar to what Luna used to do for me when I was the one hurting.

June's flashback for Draco,

'' Stop that,'' Draco huffed, annoyingly, making her eyes snap away, cheeks blushed as he caught her staring, '' How many times am I suppose to tell you not to stare?''

A giggle left June's lips as she turned in her chair, away from the blonde boy, '' So what if I enjoy looking at you?'' She smirked, her eyes leveling the book placed in front of her, '' You have a handsome face,''

Her words caught him off guard, earing a shocked look to rise on his temples, '' Then don't stop—, '' He told her, '' Don't ever stop looking at me like that,''

She snapped her eyes straight to his, glancing deeply into his blue views, '' I want you to look at me, just as you did now, forever,'' She rose a brow, feeling his cold, ring coated fingers brushing against her warm cheek, tucking a curl behind her ear,

Her eyes rolled at his words, her skin flushed by the gentle touch, '' Do you love me, Draco?'' She asked him, kindly, '' Do you love me in the way you read in books — you know, so much it hurts?'' Her blue eyes hesitatingly looked away, almost feeling ashamed for what she just had asked him,

She shook her head at his silence, '' Don't answer that,'' She mumbled, pulling away to look down in her book once again — her patience and the embarrassment of him not answering her turned overwhelming as she slammed her book shut, standing up,

'' I'll see you at dinner, alright?'' She whispered, still not meeting his eyes, the eyes that kept longing for hers. He could look at her for hours without ever growing tired. She was everything for him,

'' Don't do that,'' He spoke, harshly, his hand wrapped around her wrist as she tried to walk away, '' You didn't give me the chance to answer,'' He yanked her back as he stood tall in his shoes, leaning his back against the table,

He pulled her closer, in the way he loved to do, he loved having her close. It calmed him, even if he at times would never admit to it,

'' I'm not good with feelings,'' He mumbled, blue eyes bored through hers with honesty, '' And I won't repeat this because you know how my life has been, '' She nodded at his words, his fingers clenched into her waist as he pulled her just a little closer, enough to feel her scent, to sense her warm breath,

'' I—,'' He rose but quickly hushed, she tilted her head at his tries, before her hands found his cheeks, arching his head up to look at her,

'' It's okay, Draco — let's just —,'' He cleared his throat, making her chew her bottom lip, her hands dropped to the sides,

'' I never knew home. I never felt at place or peace anywhere, really, '' He halted, looking deeply into her eyes, '' But that was all before I watched you that night in here, in this library while you studied and the way you chew that bottom lip of yours, made everything easier,''

She sucked in a breath, nearly scared to releasing it, '' I know I was playing a part at first. I know I hurt you by doing so, but I wouldn't have it any other way if I had the chance to do it all again — because all of this, us, lead me here and the feeling of never knowing home, the constant anxiety of never feeling at peace—, ''

'' Vanished, because of you. You taught me that sometimes a home could be another person,''

Her eyes watered, her body trembled. Draco had never spoken to her in this way before,

'' And it never made sense to me, how I was able to feel that with you, but love never makes sense,''

He licked his bottom lip, his veins rushed, '' I love you, more than you could ever come to understand, and I need you in ways I never believed to be possible,''

'' And that is a funny thing, you see—, Draco Malfoy needing someone,''

'' But I do. I need you, and I know that you need me to,''

'' I always will. I will always need you, and I will always want you. You have made it impossible for me to even think about the thought of ever being without you,''

'' You have a place, Riddle, you have a place in my heart that no one else could ever have,''

She nearly suffered her breath as her hands flew to his neck, hugging him utterly — his arms wrapped around her waist, the blonde strands of his hair tickled her skin,

'' Thank you,'' She queried into his neck, her nose brushing against the pale skin, '' Thank you for this,''

He held her with everything he had, and he planned on doing so for as long as time let him. He knew that the future was unknown, that life was uncertain, and he knew that he could lose her at any moment, so he did what he could,

He held her now, the girl his cold heart belonged to, the girl who taught him how to love,

And he did,

Draco loved her,

____________________

My eyes clocked open, meeting his, his lips parted, '' How did you do that?'' He stumbled, both of us noticing my wand had dropped to the floor, '' How did you make me see—,''

'' Quiet, Draco—,'' His father snarled, hauling away from his son as he stepped to stand next to my father, both of them stared at us with might, '' You will be used to the feeling the mark grants you,'' Lucius spoke again,

I swallowed thickly, looking back at Draco as he held his arm, the dark mark sored his porcelain skin, '' We will send for you when your presence is needed,'' My father hissed. With that, their black cloaks swirled around them and in a blink of an eye, they were gone,

Leaving us alone in the place that I once called home,

My eyes flickered down to my arm, the ripped shirt revealed the ink, the cursed mark,

His mark,

I came to realization with myself the second my eyes grounded on Luna's faded body,

She was dead,

Luna was dead,

Draco's heaving breaths caught my attention, peering up at him through teary eyes,

He was a death eater,

And so was I,

I was a death eater now,

And everything was fated to change.


	33. T h i r t y - o n e ,

This chapter contains a scene of suicide attempt. Please read with caution.

_______

Draco Malfoy,

Weeks have passed since we got back, since she lost the person closest to her.

Since she lost her best friend.

The first days, she did nothing but cry. She took distance from me, and everyone else close to her, all she sought to do was to be alone — and I let her. She spent the nights sleeping in Luna's bed, sobbing herself to sleep as I watched over her from afar.

I would never leave her, not in her biggest time of need. She made my life worth living, she gave me a purpose in the most draining days, and now it was my turn to do the same for her, to give her meaning and to be the one taking care of her.

After almost a week, she stopped crying, and she turned utterly numb — not even the mark of ink carved into her arm made her feel, she was merely broken, destroyed to a point where she lost her right mind.

Flashback,

My head dropped, making my eyes flare open, vision dizzy by the lack of sleep. I couldn't sleep, and I haven't slept in days, all I sought to do was to look after her from feet away, in absolute silence — but she wasn't here. Luna's bed scored empty as I jolted up from the desk chair,

'' June?'' I called out for her, but nothing, the room deserted as I flung the dorm door open, searching through every hallway to find her,

I frequently called out for her in panic. The painful thought of her being out of my sight, of her being able to hurt herself or even worse, knocked the air out of my lungs,

I stopped in my tracks, feeling my chest almost breaking, my heart shattered when it clocked my mind — the only place I did not search to pieces, the spot where her best friend once tried to take her life,

It was with sharp, quick steps I rushed up the stairs to the astronomy tower, my breaths stuck in my throat as the tears burned behind my eyelids, hoping to every higher power that it wouldn't be too late,

My eyes placed on her beautiful self, her hands clenched around the metallic railing, her hair flowing gracefully in the lively wind, she shook, her entire body trembled before she flinched my the sound of my shoe on the cracking wooden floor,

Her head shifted to face mine, the moonlight lightened up her angelic features as I noticed her cheeks stained in tears, '' I can't—,'' She sobbed, her breaking voice caused my whole self to break right with her, this was the first time she's spoken to me in days,

'' I can't do this anymore, Draco—,'' Her heavy breaths, her whimpers of pain shredded me from within.

'' I stood—, '' She hushed, wiping off tears with the sleeve of her sweater, '' I stood right there, were you are standing right now, and I promised her, Draco — I promised her that it was her and I forever—,'' She slightly bent forward, making me step closer, scared to death that she would lose it and ultimately give in to her tortured mind,

'' June—,''

'' I stood right there, Draco — and then I—, ''

Her cries echoed loud,

'' I killed her—,'' She sniffed, her voice low, '' I took her life, and it turned us into—,''

Her breaths ragged, her cheeks drowned in the salty liquid,

'' We're doomed for life Draco, we are death eaters and I —,''

'' I can't do this anymore,'' Her head flicked back to stare out over the world, her small hands lightly letting go of the railing a little bit at the time, '' I love you, Draco — I love you so much, and I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me this year,''

Her words tore me in two, she wanted to leave me, she wanted to give up on me, and on herself, she wanted to give up on us,

'' Please—,'' I begged silently, feeling one single tear urging to fall, '' You promised never to give up on me,''

'' You promised never to leave me,''

She shook her head, her curls fell over her shoulders, constant heartbreaking sobs fleed her perfect lips, '' And where have those kinds of promises left me, Draco?''

'' I'm a mess, and I don't deserve you — you could be so much happier—,''

'' Don't you even dare finish that sentence,'' I nearly shouted, my blood fuming at her reckless words, '' You don't get to decide that for me — you're more than clueless, aren't you?''

She looked at me, startled, scared as I came closer, the torture she felt was too much. I knew that. I could see it, feel it. She wanted to die, she maybe even needed to, but I needed her more.

I used gentle steps as I climbed the railing, positioning myself next to her, '' You're not alone,'' I whispered, placing my hand on hers, '' I will always be here — but if this is what you want, if this is what you crave to do—,''

Her eyes glimmered in the shine of stars, the moon lit her up most breathtakingly, '' If you have to take your own life, to be with her,'' Her face softened, her lashes batteling the tears,

'' I will do too, because I need you, and I would never be able to live without you,''

Her mouth dropped, the lower lip trembling as she fully turned to me, shaking in emotion, '' Don't say that — don't lie to me,'' She whimpered, her hand's ice-cold below mine,

'' I'm not lying, June. I promised to be with you, and I will, wherever that may be,'' My eyes bored through hers as she stared at me, her heart pounded hard at the touch of my hand, stroking her cheek, '' Please don't do this, let me help you,''

The touch of her head falling to my shoulder forced my whole heart back together. She hasn't shown me any signs of needing me for weeks, but now — now she did, and that was everything.

'' Promise never to leave me, Draco — I can't do this alone,''

Her breaths fanned heavily against the fabric of my jacket, my arms protectively sheathed around her as we stood on the far edge of the tower, her and me, now — a little less broken,

" I promise."

___________________

The past week has been hard on all of us, her father has made multiple attempts to reach out to her, but I have done everything in my power not to let him, to spare her the devastation of another breaking truth, to free her from the chains of reality,

I stood emptily at the end of the bridge, waiting for the owl I knew was coming, and without another thought, the letter dropped to the ground, the squealing sound of the animal howled from afar as I reached down,

The Malfoy sigil coated the back as I ripped it open, both scared and impatient of what they needed from me, what my father craved to do this time,

'' Draco,

The dark lord has summoned you to come home,

I expect you to be here shortly,

We wish for you to leave miss Riddle behind and come alone,

Father. ''

My veins iced as I finished reading, my arms dropped to my sides in defeat. I felt my temper failing as the rain poured — the drops of sprinkles soaked. They took it away once more, the chance of a stride of calm weather with her, time to spend with the girl who grew to be everything,

I never held the chance in simply being with her, to lay with her in peace, to love her without cause, they consistently ceased us of the fate in happiness, to live in harmony,

The footsteps behind me echoed loudly throughout the empty courtyard, the steps of her heels close, '' Draco?'' She asked, her vocals smooth heavenly, '' It's in the middle of the night, Draco—,'' She shrugged as I turned to face her, her night robe wrapped firmly around her figure, hugging herself in the cold weather,

'' I received an owl from father.'' I snarled, feeling defeated by the fact of her not being able to live in peace, for us never to the left alone, '' I have to leave,''

The rain dropped over her, her body slightly trembling by the cold drips, '' Can I go with you?'' She huffed, frowning her brows in question as the breathtaking eyes stared through mine, '' I don't want to be here if you're not—,''

'' No,'' I stated, my voice tore hers apart, making her hush down as she stepped closer, concern spread on her temples as her hair now drenched, '' I need to do this alone,''

She nodded, chewing her bottom lip in the way that always provoked me — even out here, in the cold storm, she stood gracefully, her mind blew mine, her hand gently brushed strands of blond hair off my forehead, forcing a smile to arch her lips,

'' When?'' She mumbled, pulling her touch away, '' When do you have to leave?''

Her eyes blinked quickly. Her breaths almost hitched in confusion, '' Tonight.'' I spoke coldly, the need for distancing myself from her grew. It was already hard enough to be apart from her in the past, and to continue needing to leave her, broke my cold heart, the stony heart only she had the power to turn warm,

'' I see—,'' She whispered, looking back at the ground, stamping her shoes as the water splashed around them, '' Will you come inside with me before you leave —,'' Her eyes once again found mine, giving me the sweetest of looks — she was irresistible, her heart showed me mercy, the way she took my breath away,

I knew she needed me close to fall asleep, after finally agreeing to sleep in my bed again, she wasn't able to enter the world of imagination without me near, '' Of course,'' I nodded, finching by the touch of her hand reaching for mine,

She tried to walk away, she sought us to go to bed, but I couldn't. I needed to taste her, I needed to feel her warmth on my cold one, '' Come here,'' I muttered through the heavy rain, both of us sogged in weather as I pulled her in, my arms snaking their way around her waist,

I felt her breaths fanning utterly on my jawline as I held her, the way I wanted to keep her for the rest of my life, the way she was made to fit perfectly in my arms,

'' I love you, Draco—,'' She hummed into my soaked jacket, '' Thank you for choosing me, thank you for everything,''

Her words tore me apart as I peered down over her. She was made for me — we were made for each other, and that seems to be the way of life; eventually, everything connects,

So did we,

In the most heartbreaking way,

'' I love you more, ''

_______________________

I apparated myself home, standing on the stairs leading to the front door. Even if this didn't score as home anymore, a slight feeling of relief shredded through me in the constant longing for her.

Leaving her earlier was as hard as ever, and the concern for her safety became overwhelming the second my father opened the door, hurling for me to come inside. My eyes placed on my mother, standing in tears before me,

Her fallen look pained, her eyes exhausted, " Draco," She breathed out, " I'm more than glad to have you home," The feeling of her voice, her calming scent brought even more stillness,

My mother hugged me, held me close as the tears rolled down her drained cheeks, " I'm glad to be here," I mumbled into her hair, forcing a smile as she pulled away,

My father stepped beside her, brows frowned, the slight nod he granted caused crawling shivers down my spine, " Draco," He said coldly, flashes of concern shunned his eyes,

I shoed back from the both of them, hands shoved into my pockets, " Well, does either of you care to explain what I am doing here?"

Their eyes snapped to each other. My mother blinked rapidly, trying to defeat the tears, " Draco, the dark lord has granted you a task," She whimpered, her hand flew to muffle the cracks in her voice,

I felt my insides twist, the ink embedded in my arm stung at her words, " And it's with an importance that you see this through,"

" What is it?" I nearly snarled out, feeling my chest shift heavy in anxiety, " What does he want me to do?" My father cleared his throat at my mother's cries. This was too much for her. All of this grew to be the most hardest thing she has ever had to live through,

'' He need you to,'' My father rose but quickly hushed by my mother storming off, leaving the room in pain — I swallowed harshly at her acts before flickering back to my father, staring him straight in the eyes as he collected the strength to continue,

'' He has wished for you to kill Harry Potter,''

I shut my eyes closed, my mind twirling at the terms he'd just spoken — breaths locked as I tried to calm myself, but to no use, the mark in my arm tore in agony, making me look back up at him, 

'' He wishes for me to do what?''

'' He wants you to kill Harry Potter, Draco — and it's off great length that you do as told,'' He endangered, his hand brushing the blonde strands of greasy hair off his eyes, '' Or he will kill June,''

The need for air became staggering, salty liquid burnt in my eyes as I tried to hide it, not to show any signs of weakness, just like he taught me to, '' If I do this, if I do as he pleases — will he leave her alone?''

My father bowed his head, jaws clenching, '' You have his word,''

I knew I shouldn't, and I knew that this would cause her to hate me, she would never forgive me for such an evil act, the most inhuman act of them all — she would gladly give her life to spare someone else's because it's her. She's selfless and has the heart of thousands, but I had to. I had to do this.

I have to be selfish with her, there is no way out. Her father knew how to toy with my feelings, with my need to protect her from everything,

She was my only weakness, and he knew that.

'' I'll do it,''

_______________

June,

I fiddled with the necklace hanging close to my neck, stroking it gently in remembering of him — Draco still haven't gotten back, and it's been nearly three days without as much as a letter, but I trusted him, more than ever,

He promised never to leave me again, he gave me his word that he would come back and after everything — I needed to believe him, I needed to have fate in the boy I would drain my soul for,

Missing him tore through my every nerve, every flush of blood rushing through my veins pained in the longing for him to be close, for him to hold me in the safety he brought — the comfort he winded me with after Luna's passing, and even though it been almost six weeks since she,

Died,

Since I killed her,

The memory of her lived lively within. I knew she was with me, even is she wasn't, because the friendship we shared, the life we went through together, is for eternity. It outlived death itself,

Luna and me, forever — just as we always told each other,

Me and my angel Luna,

Why is it that when the story ends, we all begin to feel all of it?

I flinched back, almost ripping the necklace off my skin as the door flung open, furious brown eyes snapped to mine, and without any chance to avoid it, her wand pushed to my throat, digging deeply,

I blinked quickly, searching for her eyes in my darkened room, '' Hermione, what are you—,''

'' Don't you dare speak to me, June—,'' She threatened, teeth gritted, the wand forcing deeper as it scratched my skin, '' Is it true?'' She seethed, her voice shouting from the back of her tongue,

'' Did you do it?''

'' Did you really kill her?''

Her honest words caused my eyes to water, my mind drowning me from inside as I came to a realization — she didn't know. I never met her after the doomed night in my so-called home,

Hermione grew impatient at my numbness, her wand withdrew as she snatched my arm, urging the sleeve of fabric up to view the mark soaring my pale skin. Her eyes broad, her breaths almost missed her as she stumbled back, once again raising her wand,

'' It is true,'' She breathed out. The curls of her brown hair fell completely over her shoulders while shaking her head, she couldn't believe it. Her whole life, she had trusted me, confided in me, and now — I was the person who took the love in her life away,

I stood silent, not knowing how to speak to her, not owning the strength in confessing. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I sucked in a shaky breath, muffling the sobs eager to flee my quivering lips,

'' Why?'' She cried out, her hands tugging the messy locks, pulling them back in defeat, '' How could you do that—, how could you let her die?'' Her cries shredded me, the pleads in silence for this to be untrue almost suffocated me,

'' You were supposed to protect her — you were supposed to keep her safe,'' Hermione paused as she broke, her intelligent mine nibbled her sorrows, '' How could you let this—,''

'' I didn't have a choice, Hermione,'' I winced, feeling my knees weaken at her confrontation, '' He tortured her, my father casted one of the cruelest of spells, and it was either me doing what I could or her suffering for hours,''

'' I did what I had to do,'' Her eyes flashed in anger, her tanned skin sunk in ashen as she booted forward, her wand roughly collided with my chest,

Her nostrils flared, her insides crawled, and I had never seen her in this state, ever — her lips parted to speak but not a word left them as she tried to gather herself,

'' You did this, you took her from me,'' She accused, her wand scored devilishly, '' I told her not to trust you. I tried to keep her safe from you because nothing good comes your way, June,''

'' You are worse than the curse itself, everything around you crumbles and I should kill you — I should kill you for what you did to her,'' Her words evil, her eyes narrowed, the tip of her nose scrunched as she kept going, she kept torturing me with the cruelty of her words,

'' She was the love of my life, and you took her from me—,''

I pushed her back. I tried to give her the space in healing, but she wouldn't surrender, not Hermione — the most strongminded of girls, she would never give in, her bones made to keep her from caving,

'' Yes, I did—,'' I heaved, my chest heavy, '' You lost the love of your life, you did, but I—,''

''But I lost my soulmate. I lost my every reason to live—,'' I lost the mastery of my own senses, the control of my mind, '' I lost Luna too, Hermione,''

She refused to utter another word; instead, she pinned the wand though the room, aiming straight at me, '' Give me one reason — one good reason for me not to kill you, right now,''

But the second she seized a deep breath, ready to punish me for my passing, she was shoved aside, her wand flew out of her hand to match his — Draco's spell startled her as she snapped her eyes between me and the blonde one. He refused to meet my eyes. He narrowed his enchanting, blue eyes in hers, using slow, dangerous steps closer,

'' What are you playing at, Granger?'' He snapped, making her stumble back to the doorway, without her wand, she prized the truth in having no chance against him, '' If you ever, and I mean ever go as much as a foot close to her again, you're dead,'' — with that, he threw Hermione's wand out of my room as she stormed after it,

I stood frozen, completely still as he slammed the door shut, the loud noise cut trough my nerves, making me coil back. He pushed his palms into the wood of the door, repeatedly striking his knuckles in it,

'' Draco, please,'' I begged at his breaking, but he didn't hear, he shut me out as blood shattered across the timber, '' Draco—,'' I shouted, pouring up to him, pushing myself between him and the material,

He stopped, the instant blue eyes paralleled mine, the second he felt my lips pushing against his, '' I'm here, Draco,'' I whispered into his parted lips, sensing the overwhelming scent of mint, '' It's alright,''

My hands stroked his jawline as I deepened the kiss in need to feel him, to taste him after days apart — his hands flew to my waist, holding me close in welcome,

My blood flushed in pleasure. He was home — he came back, and even if this was a moment of devastation. I couldn't help but be happy, to feel the emotion of him being close,

Still clueless that the boy I loved, the boy I trusted with more than my life — had achieved the gravest of acts, he was lying to me, and I was held in the dark,

I smiled through the kiss, my hands forcing him closer, '' You're home,''


	34. T h i r t y - t w o,

The days passing since Draco returned had been graver than strange, he was everything, but himself and nothing turned the same. He was hiding something from me, similar to the last time he acted this way, yet as the strong-minded boy he lived to be, he refused share,

He shut me out completely, as if I wasn't visible to him anymore, nearly not to matter. He became distant in my sorrows, and even if he was here, he wasn't.

He didn't speak to me like he used to. He didn't look at me the same way — he was numb, and his quietness turned me vein, mad, crazy,

I needed him, more than ever since Luna's passing and Hermione's threats to cease me of life, even if he slept beside me at twilight, holding me close, his mind traveled, to places I was not allowed to come, and the coldness he brought became overwhelming,

I love him, more than the stars, the moon, everything in this universe combined, even further than a human being could ever understand, and I missed him,

I missed him so much, even if he was here, his body close to mine, his breaths flaming my skin, the boy I loved faded away in his misery, and there was nothing I could do to settle it,

I watched as he turned to face me in between the sheets, his pale skin lit up like porcelain, the blonde hair had grown longer, the dark circles underneath his enchanting blue eyes almost blackened,

His lips parted, a shaky breath released, " You should sleep," He spoke, quietly, eyes still closed, but even if he rarely looked at me anymore, he knew me, inside out, " June, it's late, you need to sleep,"

My eyes rolled at his words as I tried to shift around, the crispy covers shrugged smoothly against my heated skin, " Don't do that—," He mumbled, halting my tries to turn away from him, a cold hand wrapped around my waist, stroking my skin gently,

" Do what?" I whispered, my mind drained in question, my soul empty, " Do what you have done the past week?" His eyes flayed open, piercing through mine, his breath ragged as nostrils slightly flared — I struck a nerve,

" What is that supposed to mean?" He spoke, sounding hurt by my act, brows furrowed in the moonlight slipping through my window, " Why would you say that?" I meet the eyes I fell deeply in love with, still staring intensely through mine,

I shook my head, sealing my eyes to avoid another argument, because that was all we seemed to be doing, argue, fight, bicker, and the ache in my heart, turned it vulnerable, had no strength in doing that anymore, " Nothing. I'm sorry, let's just sleep—,"

" No," He pushed, propping himself up on one elbow, still facing each other, " You clearly have something on your mind, " Draco's vocals accusing, his tone harsh, " Enlighten me, what am I doing exactly?"

I swallowed thickly, almost scared to speak of this, because I knew how sensitive the subject of him being distant has grown to be, how he deep within felt more than bad to be treating me the way he had, " It was just a stupid comment, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything—,"

" June," He endangered, making my eyes clock wide, " Tell me what's on your mind, right now," The breaths leaving his lips trembled, he prized that he'd hurt me, that something felt more than wrong between us. I blinked quickly, the twisting feeling swirled within as I sucked in a breath, " I miss you, that's all," His face fell, his eyes softened, but not even a second later, jaws clenched, brows furrowed,

" I'm right here," He nearly broke, doing everything possible not to show his cracking inside, " I'm right here," He cooed, freezing, strong hands moving to pull me closer. My head hugged to his chest as he stroked my back. His cold fingers caused goosebumps to trail his touch,

" Right where I'm supposed to be,"

" But your not, Draco," I snapped, my temper suffering to his lies, " You're here, but you're not here," I forced myself back, away from him, my spine heavy against the headboard as he glared at me, furious to why I kept pushing him, to why I couldn't surrender my annoying thoughts, " You don't speak to me anymore, you don't talk about anything, ever since you got back from visiting—"

" Shut up, alright? Just shut the fuck up," He breathed heavily, almost regretting yelling at me the moment he did. He sighed loudly, pushing himself off the bed. My eyes immediately flickered to his arm, noticing the scratches of his nails, the bleeding wounds of him fighting the mark my father had punished him with,

" You don't know anything, so can you just stay out of it?" He seethed, teeth gritted, his toned muscles flexing by the heavy breaths, the temper failing him, but I stayed silent, not kenning what to say or do at this explosion, " Just—,"

Draco stumbled back, getting dressed as tears pooled my eyes, the need for him arose as my mind twirled the fact that he was leaving. I was stupid, foolish. I should have done as asked, not questioning him when he clearly strained me from doing so, " Please don't leave." I whimpered, earning a guilty look from the blonde boy. He halted in his steps, hesitatingly holding in reach, and then, he left,

______

Draco Malfoy,

I slammed the door to my room shut, furious with myself. The hatred of my doings grew wild within — I hurt her, once again I hurt the girl I loved, and it drowned me, to cease her of happiness, to take that small little piece of heaven she still managed to keep following her best friends passing — I took away, and I hated myself for it.

But as the hatred grew, so did the reality of things, the truth made me anxious, fearful for what I knew was about to come, my time with her was up, and I all heard echoing throughout my head was my mother's words,

'' It's for her own good,''

'' She doesn't deserve this, ''

'' The dark lord is not to be trusted, Draco,''

'' You need to leave with your father and forget about her,''

I sought to do as my mother wish. I tried my hardest to stay away, to distance myself. I wanted to isolate myself from her for days, but she was irresistible — there was no possible way for me to leave her behind. I needed her, much more than she would ever need me, and there rested my problems because she would be able to live her life in peace if I simply did as the death eater's asked; she could live freely, without the chains of her past,

But also, without me,

My mind snapped, the constant battle of wanting her, needing her, craving her and for her to be safe shredded my every sense — my hands roughly forced everything holding on my desk off it, the sound of glass shattering, books dropping to the floor caused me to wince, but still I was numb,

I dropped to my knees. My fingers tugged my hair back as my chest caved. I had to leave her behind. I knew it was the precise thing to do because the thing I had done while being away, the deal I made with her father — I was too much of a risk,

Draco's flashback,

My father had told me exactly where to go, where to find Potter, the day the dark lord had requested his execution. It was him or her, and even in my wrongful mind, I would choose her.

I would always choose her.

The truth of her being a Horcrux chewed my mind. The countless times I had tried to solve another answer, then for me to take a life, but nothing else made sense — if her father were to find out about her, the deepest secret she didn't even know about, nothing would stop him from taking her away from me, from locking her up where no one could ever reach her, similar to what he'd done with the other objects holding his soul.

He would hide her and never let another human being near her, ever again,

And that was something I could not let happen; no one was to take the light in my life away from me, not even the dark lord himself,

The surroundings in the busy town crowded as I was making my way to the safe house — the safe place in the order that no one knew had been compromised.

The order was filled with imposters and people who would do anything to earn the dark lord's trust, '' Alohomora,'' I whispered, hearing the door open with a klick as I slowly shoved it broadly, the darkened hallway greeting me caused shivers to flee my spine,

And with every step that I took, further into the home of the Black's, my insides scorned me,

This wasn't me.

I'm not a killer.

I'm not.

But I had to be.

I had to do everything to keep her safe.

Because she, she was everything and only the thought of losing her was enough to be the death of me, it was drowning, not to have a choice in being a slayer, having the father of the girl you love working against you,

The tip of my wand brightened the settings as I stepped into the living room, and there he was. My eyes immediately snapped to the brown-haired boy, deeply in his sleep, not standing a chance against the forbidden magic I was deemed to use.

The chosen one, the boy who lived was now the boy I had to cease of life,

To be real with myself, this last minute before my life would shift in change — I never cared much for Harry Potter, he was nothing more than a circus, a show for the order and the headmaster to toy with, but suddenly I did.

I did care; the humanity within ached as I rose my wand, closing my eyes, swallowing thickly,

'' Avada Kedavra,''

______

Tears drained my cheeks by the thought of it, by the inhuman, horrible act I had completed, and she had no clue to what I had done, no understanding of what I did to keep her safe, but that was the way it had to be,

Because if she knew — if the girl my heart beat for identified the truth of my actions, she would leave me. She was too pure, too caring, too human, and I,

I was a monster, a ruthless murderer, a failure,

I didn't deserve her, and I never will,

I knew that.

_______

The day had come.

The day I dwelled to resent since I left my childhood home a few nights earlier. I was fated to leave her, and my life was to become a misery yet again. This morning I left a note outside of her door, knowing that she always walks into Luna's room the first thing she does every morning, to attend the plants her best friend had left behind,

I penned her to meet me, when the darkness had shredded over the castle, in the place I promised not to leave her, not knowing that today I would.

The reality of leaving hit me like a train at high speed.

I was leaving her.

I was devising the girl I love behind and the thoughts of not seeing her angelic face every day, not watching her as she wakes up, hearing those sweet, silent noises she made as she stretched her arms the instant her mind caught back to being, not to kiss those warm, perfect lips mine longed for, not to look deeply into her heavenly eyes whenever I craved to, not to hear her voice, not to have it calm me when I needed it to, not to be able to touch her, to feel her soft, heated skin on mine, to embrace the loving touch she always brought, not to feel my cold hands grow warm in hers,

How am I supposed to live without her? How would I ever be able to go a day of not seeing her, talking to her, hearing her,

How will I be adapt to the reality of leaving the one person that showed me true love and how caring for another should feel like,

I will die without her,

But I had to, rather that I live in an eternity of misery than that she is caught up in harm's way,

I was missing her before I even had her, so what does missing her a little more do,

________

June,

''

Love,

Meet me in the astronomy tower at nightfall.

D.M.

''

I read the note he had left on my doorstep, over and over and over again, repeatedly to grasp the meaning of his words, to understand why he needed me to meet him at such late hour, in the tower only bad memories held,

Following him, leaving me the night before, left me destroyed in my own mind, beaten to the furthest, — I started to puzzle the pieces of the last couple of weeks together. There was no secret in the truth of him darkening passing events, he was keeping secrets, and I had never been more intrigued to know what,

I trusted Draco. I trusted Draco with more than life itself, and yet the sinking feeling became lingering, the sense of disbelief chewed my bones as the fear of being hurt, betrayed caved me from within,

_______

I walked the stairs leading to the place I loathed, where all the hurtful remembrance placed, the anxiety caused my breaths to hitch, the lump in my throat coiled, my mind nearly crawling in the obliviation of not knowing what this was about, why he acted the way he did, why he closed me off as if I was nothing, why it felt like he was leaving me but still held near,

The look of the tensed back, clothed in his black suit brought impassivity to my beating heart, my veins rushed in warmth by the look of him, how he leaned against the railing, peering out over the dark night, '' Draco—,'' I whispered, looking around as I strived for my last step of the stairs, he flung around at the sound of my voice, blue eyes meet mine, '' What are we doing here, Draco?''

With Draco's back now leaning against the metallic railing, he shoved his hands into his pockets, looking at me as the nightly wind twirled his hair. He didn't answer; instead, he intensely watched every single inch of me,

For moments in silence, he kept studying me, head to toe, without a single emotion flashing his empty features, until he pushed himself off, taking hesitant steps closer, holding only inches away,

The scent of mint and cologne soared me as his cold hand gently stroked my chin, moving his fingers up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, " June—," He held, swallowing the fallen look of my face, " There is no easy way to do this, and if I would have thought this through properly, I wouldn't have asked you to meet me here tonight,"

Draco's words ached my heart, the vocals shredding in pain was enough for my eyes to pool, " But I can't do this, not without seeing you again," He said, quietly, brows furrowed, " There is no simple way out of this, out of the hell of a life we've been given, but you—,"

'' You lived to be my redemption,''

He took a shoe closer, pulling his touch away to wrap his arms around my waist, drawing me into him, '' I can never thank you enough for what you have done for me, darling,'' He uttered, placing his head on mine as I buried mine into his chest, the warm, calming chest that always brought me comfort,

" What do you mean, Draco? What is all of this about?" I arched my neck to peer up at him, the blue eyes I fell entirely for stared back at me, his eyes glinted in liquid, '' Draco, what are you—,'' He hewed me off, his hand pushed my head into his shoulder, holding me tighter than ever before,

'' I'm sorry for this. I'm so sorry about this, but you deserve better. You deserve more than I can give you. I can't risk you getting hurt in all of this—,''

I hauled back, pushing my hands into his chest, my face twisted in disbelief, brows furrowed, glaring at him and then, by that liable look coating his front — I grasped the truth, understanding that these last couple of days, with him acting strange, was him distancing himself from me, it was him creating space in his own mind,

He was leaving me,

My insides drenched in the sinking feeling, heart dropped, the tears I sought to hold back missed my bravery, '' Draco—,'' I breathed out through stutter, all the emotions I had buried, deeply inside came crashing down, '' Don't do this—,'' My voice broke, the vocals nearly inaudible,

'' Please—, you can't leave me,''

He held his breath, fighting the tears watering, not wanting to show any signs of weakness as he stepped forward again, feet closer, his hands cupped my cheeks, thumbs wiped off the tears that kept falling. He looked softly into my eyes, '' There is forever in those eyes, June — our forever, you and me,'' He tried to hide his breaking voice, the chilly air danced around us,

'' You were the love I never saw coming, and I don't regret one single moment of this,''

I shook my head, refusing to believe the words he's speaking, withholding the truth I knew was coming, '' No—, No—, You don't get to do this,'' I sniffed, my chest heaving, '' After everything we've been through, you don't get to walk away, Draco—,''

'' You don't get to leave me—,'' I bursted, my lower lip trembling as I pushed him away, creating space between us, '' You promised, Draco. You promised never to leave me—,'' The sobs escaping my lips broke him completely, making paths of clear tears strolling down his pale skin,

'' I can't live without you, Draco—,'' I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying to muffle the cries, and even if I knew that this had to be the hardest thing for him to do, leaving the person he loved more than anyone else, I couldn't believe him, that after everything — he chose to walk away,

His jaws clenched as he tore his eyes away from mine, the hurt he's causing me broke his heart, ring coated fingers rushed through his hair, '' And you think I can live without you?'' He nearly shouted, making me flinch back, '' If you ever think this is something I chose to do, something I want to do —,''

'' I would never leave you if I had any other way out of this. But it's not—,''

'' Why?'' I whimpered, burying my head in my hands, falling to my knees as he noticed. He stalked over, kneeling right beside me, '' How can you do this, Draco —'' I sobbed, my body trembled. He didn't answer; he sheathed his arms around me, pulling me in,

'' You can live without me, and you will, because it's you—, it has always been you,'' He breathed into my hair, his nose stroking against the crook of my neck, his crook, the place he always strived to be, '' And I believe that we both knew that, even when we didn't,''

'' It has always been us, you and me,''

He cupped my cheeks, bending my head back to face him, '' You have a place, Riddle, a place in my heart that no one else could ever have,'' He hummed before hauling away, standing tall on his feet, stretching his hand down to reach mine,

'' Come here,''

And I did. I forced myself off the ground, with the little amount of strength I had left, slamming myself into his chest as he held me, one last time, and I held him back, with everything I had, because that's what he lived to me,

He was everything to me, my reason to still be here, to always fight another day,

He hugged me closer, taking each other in,

One,

last,

time.

Until he pulled away, tilting his head to look at me, '' I will come back for you, darling,''

'' I will always come back for you,''

Tears flooded, breaths shaking, my body wavering, '' Promise me. Promise me that you will come back for me,'' I whimpered, as Draco smiled shyly, pain flickered through his eyes, cupping my cheeks, his nose brushing against mine,

'' Out of all the promises we have made and broke — this will be the one I promise to keep. I will come back to you. I always will,''

'' I'm yours, till the end of time, never forget that,'' He glanced deeply into my eyes, almost getting lost in them before they flickered down to my lips,

'' And you are mine, mine, mine, and only mine,'' My face drained in the salty liquid as I nodded, my eyelids vein, my heart heavy, '' Hold on to that, that I am yours, and you are mine, exactly how it's supposed to be,'' With those words — I forced my lips into his, kissing him with everything I had, my hands moving to grasp his neck, tugging him even closer, holing him near,

Because this was it,

This was the end of our story,

Or that's what I sought to believe,

He smiled against my parted lips before kissing me again, one last time, '' Keep your eyes closed,'' Draco mumbled into my divided lips, and I did as asked. I had my eyes sealed, feeling his touch tending away, '' Just keep your eyes closed —,''

Draco's hands found mine, braiding our fingers together as I stood before him, eyes closed, my heart breaking within, '' I love you,'' He whispered, leaving a soft kiss on my knuckles, and with that — he let go,

The wind swirling around me, the sound of emptiness echoed louder than ever before,

I knew. I knew what just happened, and I didn't dare to meet the truth. I didn't want to, even if there was no other way, 

I slowly opened my eyes,

He was gone,

Draco Malfoy had left me,

And my entire world shattered,

" It's ok to be brave. It's ok to leave, but words are just words unless you keep them,"


	35. T h i r t y - t h r e e ,

Six months.

Six horrible, heartbreaking months had now passed since he decided to leave me, since he made a choice that affected the both of us, without me — since he broke my heart into an infinity of pieces without once looking back,

He left, that chilly, pouring night, six months ago and yet to this day — I can't spare him one single thought without my tears falling, my breath leaving ceasing lungs, my heart aching even more,

He left, and he never came back, he never sent me a letter, he never spoke a word, for six months, one hundred and eighty-two days — without nothing, and every day that went by, that I didn't get to see him, to touch him, to feel him, drowned me even further,

I was dying within the barrier of my own skin, and only he could save me,

The first days passing after he went — I didn't eat, sleep, talk, cry. I simply shifted utterly numb, my emotions had no touch with reality, and I couldn't grasp the fact that he wasn't here anymore. It was as if he only were to be gone for a little while, similar to what he used to do, disappear for a few days at a time, but this was different, because the days turned to weeks, and the weeks became months, yet still no sign from him,

The torture graced graver, my mind darker, my body weaker, and before it was too late, before my sorrows had the possibility of killing me — Blaise and Narcissa agreed for me to spend time with her, at the manor, in his childhood home, because nothing else was bearable, being here, in school, in the castle where we fell in love was too much,

He was gone, Luna was dead, and Blaise—, he turned just as vein as I did when his best friend disappeared and the look of me being here without Draco was too much for him as well, none of us managed with the truth of Draco not being here,

Narcissa brought me to their home, keeping me safe and sound for over a month; she took me in with open arms, she cared for me, looked after me, comforted me, she did everything possible for me to feel better, to be better in a world without her son in it,

But still, with her caring and her support, my life was complete hell — some days I didn't have the strength to get out of bed, to drink a sip of water, to eat, because all I wanted and all I craved for was him, the one person I could not have,

The boy who left me,

His mother's heart broke with mine — she knew why he left, and so did I; eventually, after weeks of tries, I finally convinced her to tell me, to enlighten me to why Draco left with his father and the answer to that question was enough for me to wish I never asked,

Flashback,

Narcissa held close to me on the couch in front of the fireplace, the motherly fingers brushed through my hair, and yet again, all my mind sought to think about was him. Tears pooled by the love that kept haunting me, a quiet sniff left my throat as I tried to hide it, but she noticed it without question, '' Are you alright, dear?'' Narcissa asked, her voice calm, her fingers stopped stroking, she slightly bent over, eyes reaching for mine,

I shook my head, my face turned in a grimace, my shaking hands sought to wipe the salty liquid off my cheeks, but to no use, they kept falling, always, '' I'm—,'' I sobbed, drawing my knees further up to my chest, hugging myself closely '' I'm not—,''

'' I'm not okay, Narcissa,'' - tears kept streaming, trails of cries left my quivering lips, '' He left me, and I —,''

'' And I don't know why, because none of you care to tell me—,'' My hair fell over my shoulders as my body shook violently, the pain, the hurt, the torture of my reality was too much, he was gone, and he left me here, all alone in this misery,

Narcissus hands wrapped around my body, dragging me even closer, '' Dear, if this means so much to you — I will tell you what caused my son to leave,'' Her honest words made my neck to arch back, staring intensely into her eyes,

She tilted her head, giving me the most humble of smiles, her thumb wiping a tear off, still staining my cheeks, just like her son always sought to do, '' You must understand, June, that your father is capable of many things — many cruel things, and with that dark mind, no one is safe,''

I slightly nodded, feeling how she took my hand in hers, but I couldn't focus — all I wanted to hear was why, what he did that could've been so horrible, inhuman for him to leave, '' Your father granted Draco a task, of the most vicious kind,'' My breaths hitched in my throat, my mouth hung and dry,

Narcissa waved her head, swallowing the growing hesitation, each word leaving her red-colored lips tortured her, '' He sought to it that Draco killed Harry Potter, and if he didn't, the dark lord would have killed you,''

My insides burned, ruptured, hurt as my heart completely broke,

I grasped that I should be mad, angry, furious with the blonde boy for ceasing someone of their life, but I couldn't — my heart shattered for him, the boy I loved, because he had to go through this alone, in the beliefs that no one cared, that no one stood by his side,

And even if his acts were more than cruel, unlawful — I would have been there, for every last part of it. I would've supported him, helped him, comforted him in all the ways he deserved because he always did that for me. Only the idea of how scared he must have been, how empty and not cared for he must have felt — killed me,

I flayed my eyes open, looking at his mother, her hair fell perfectly over her shoulders, the mixture of brown and blonde locks shun gracefully, '' I—,'' I whimpered, '' Don't he trust me, is that why he left?''

'' No, dear—,'' She held, once again swallowing the lump growing in her throat, '' He left because your father wanted him and Lucius to take care of more matters, and Draco believed that this was for the better—,'' Her eyes glinted in tears, her breaths slightly ragged, '' He left to protect you, he would never leave to hurt you, and I wish that deep down, beneath all that hurt you are feeling at this time, and all your sorrows, you know that—,''

'' Leaving you was the hardest thing he ever had to do—,''

________

Following the weeks I spent with Narcissa, sleeping in his bed, resting in his sheets, wearing his clothes, we both agreed that it would be for the better if I returned home, back to the safety within the walls of Hogwarts — my father had it out for me, the ink embedded in my arm tore in agony every time he tried to contact me, to reach out to me, to bring me to him, but Narcissa told me never to give in to his tries,

And I never did. I scratched the mark till it bled, to my skin was shredded in attempts to cave his doings,

Every night since I got back from visiting his mother, I spent crying in the astronomy tower, the place everyone sought to leave before he actually did. I spent hours up there, no matter if there was a storm hauling, a windy breeze, rain pouring — I needed to be there, even if I knew that I shouldn't, but I had to because, in some strange way, it made me feel closer to both him and Luna, nearly as if they were here, as if they never left,

I did my best to forget about him, the boy who took my breath away, but still hold on at the same time, and my mind was in a constant war with my heart, not knowing what the right thing was to do, was there even a right thing about this?

Most of the time, it felt as if the precise thing to do was to jump, every time I took my last step of the stairs, I went to the edge, climbing the railing and wishing that today was the day I dared to jump, that I somewhere deep within had the bravery to end my suffering, but every time I did, every time I let the metallic go, hoping for the wind to lead me off, his voice echoed loud throughout my head,

'' I will always come back for you,''

'' It has always been us, you and me,''

'' I'm yours till the end of time, never forget that,''

'' I love you,''

The image of him blasted through my mind every time I wished for my life to end, the way his blonde strands of hair fell perfectly over his forehead, the way his blue eyes always mastered to consume me, the way he traced his thumb in circles over my cheek after tucking a curl behind my ear, the way his arms wrapped around me when he held me close, the way his lips felt on mine, the way he tried to hide his smile by the look of mine, the cold hands always striving to be in mine, our fingers braided together, the good mornings, the goodnights, the I love you's,

The way his nostrils flared when he turned upset, how his temper failed him in the blink of an eye, how he yelled at me when we fought, how he always sought to make it up to me after,

Him,

All of him,

The good and the bad,

How is that, that the memories of him, of us, is more alive than I am?

So every time my body craved for me to jump, to end all of this, my mind couldn't because if there was the slightest of possibilities that he would ever find his way back to me — I had to be here. I needed him, and I knew, far down, deeply buried beneath my ache and mourn for him, that he needed me too,

It was the most painful type of loss, him, slowly melting away, making sure he burnt every last piece of my heart as he went,

___________

Today, my heart ached a little more because today was the day he'd been gone for six months and one day. Today was the day I had made a promise to myself to do this, to do the thing I've been longing to do for months, to end the suffering of missing him, because somewhere in my dark, clouded mind — I knew that he really was gone and that he wasn't coming back,

Even if he promised me to do so, even if he gave me his honest word, Draco Malfoy was in my heart known to break the promises he made, and there was no way for me to do this anymore, to live through the constant agony of him not being here.

It haunted me, every day, every night, no matter where I was or what I did, the memories of him, of us, haunted me — it cursed my mind beyond despair,

I needed to let him go because he wasn't coming back,

He left me, and I had to do what was best for me, even if I believed that to be ending my life, to reunite with my angel Luna somewhere in heaven — I couldn't, because of my mother and the truth of her still being out there, in hiding, waiting to make her way back to me,

This was the only way. This was my last chance of a chain-free life. I was drowning, suffocating from the inside out, and it was killing me, slowly — the given reminders, the glimpses of hope,

I had to let him go,

________

Blaise stood tall in front of me, the warm autumn wind tugged our cheeks, the breeze danced through my hair, and even if the look of worry consumed his face, his eyes watered — I couldn't help but to feel relieved, eased that my life of torture was soon to be over.

He cleared his throat, brows furrowed, '' Are you absolutely sure about this, that you actually want this—,''

'' Because I don't even know if it's possible to bring your—,''

I shook my head, making him hush down, my eyes bored through his brown ones, '' I need to do this. This isn't about what I want anymore—,'' I held, swallowing the burning tears, the sobs I felt coming,

'' He left, and he's not coming back. I need to do this, Blaise—,'' My tears failed me, my breaths hitched as the sob I did everything to hold, fled my lips,

'' I'm dying, Blaise—, there is no reason to live without him, and I can't—,''

'' I can't keep—,'' I cried out, muffling the sounds of torture with my shaking hands, '' I need to do this,''

Blaise simply nodded. He was here, every day since I got back from my stay at the manor; he knew how much I was hurting, the number of times he had stopped me from slitting my wrists, from jumping off the tower we now stood in, he knew,

His warm hands cupped my cheek, bending my head back to look at him, '' If you're certain about this—,'' He quietened, his voice lightly breaking, '' That this is what you need to do, you know that I support you—,''

''Every step of the way,''

He smiled shyly, eyes flickering all over my features to search any signs of hesitation, even the slightest glimpse of it, but to no use — there wasn't any.

I was more than sure of this, he huffed, brushing hair off my temples, '' And you sent Narcissa your letter?'' He asked with uncertainty, the otherwise hoarse voice broke,

I nodded as he stepped back, sealing my eyes closed, feeling every nerve in my body trembling, every vessel aching.

I was scared, terrified to forget about him, to misremember the boy who stole my heart, the boy I learned to love. I seized the deepest of breaths, feeling the shadow of Blaise's wand flicker in the sunlight,

My fingers clenched around the necklace Draco once had given me, with my eyes squeezed together, tears rushing down my flushed cheeks, my chest heavy by my heart shattering — I whispered underneath my breath,

'' I'm so sorry, Draco—,''

'' Please forgive me for this—,''

My head shook in a swift move, giving Blaise permission to do what I had asked of him, to take Draco and every memory of him since the night, over a year ago in detention — away,

'' I love you, Draco,'' I breathed out, releasing the holding breath as my best friends vocals soothed,

'' Wait—,''

'' Obliviate,''

'The art of life, is letting go,


	36. T h i r t y - f o u r ,

Draco Malfoy,

'' Draco.

I don't know how to do this, or even how to write this. It feels so unreal to finally put my thoughts on paper after constantly burying them in my mind, but it's time to.

You deserve an explanation for what I am about to do, even if you never gave me one, even if you left me without once looking back. I could never do that to you.

The other day I was outside the walls of the castle for the first time in weeks. I finally held the strength to leave the safety of your room, the safety of the tower you left me in, and I remembered the day you brought me outside after Luna left. Do you remember that day?

You convinced me to make snow angels just like her and I used to do, but instead, you did it with me.

The loss of you and her has torn me in two. The grief has reached a point where the only reason to fall asleep at night is to dream of you, to get one little glimpse of those blue eyes, to imagine your skin on mine.

It hurts, Draco.

Everything hurts.

Every memory, every thought, every minute that goes by without you hurts.

And I want to hate you. God, I want to hate you so much for leaving me, for giving upon us.

But you don't deserve that hate because, at the end of each painful day, you left to protect me, and how can I hate you for doing so when I would do the exact same thing in a heartbeat?

I'm drowning without you. I'm dying every second you're not here, and it's killing me, Draco.

A life with the memories of you, knowing that you're gone, isn't a life worth living. I will never be able to learn how to live without you, so I have to do the one thing I know how to.

I have to let you go.

I have to forget about you.

I have to forget about us.

So please, Draco, live for us, keep the memories of us alive for me, and know that you're still, and forever, deep down, always right here with me.

I'm yours, yours, yours and only yours, and you're mine, remember?

Hold onto that,

I miss you more than words can explain,

and I love you, Draco Lucius Malfoy.

Remember that,

June. "

Tears drained the paper, the ink smudged of all the drops falling down my cheeks, my vision stored dizzy as I tried wiping them away, but it was more than useless, the sobs repeatedly fled my lips, my chest almost breaking in pain — her words scored right through my cold heart, the heart that only beat for her. The reality of holding something that she has held, something that she wrote breaks my heart,

The scent of her lingered from the letter she sent, the soft tones of freshly cut flowers and vanilla tore me apart, my entire body shook out of control as I tried to breathe, to calm myself,

Six months have passed since I left her, and every day I cease to exist a little more, until today, when my father brought back the light blue envelope — the second I saw it, my heart stopped because I knew it was from her,

Her,

Not a day, an hour, a minute has gone by without the thought of her being tangled up in my mind; the memory of her is the only thing keeping me alive, the dreams of her at night is my only reason to fall asleep,

Missing her hurts more than the torture I have had to live through these heartbreaking, terrifying months, and all I lived for was the longing of having her back in my arms, the wish of breathing her in, kissing her, touching her,

But now, she wanted to forget me,

She wanted to give up on me,

Give up on us,

And that's something I couldn't live with, her letting me, letting us go thinking that I left her behind,

Even when she was right here with me, every step of the way,

I needed to get back to her before it's too late,

__________

I waited till the dusk settled, knowing that's when father withdraws to sleep, the safe house was still filled with death eaters, left and right, but nothing could hold me from finding her, especially now, when I know what she sought to do. The hour of twilight finally arrived as I carefully shoved my door open, pinching my head out to see if the coast was clear,

My father took my wand away the minute we got here, but as the unclever man he tended to be — I knew exactly where to find it, my steps crackled over the wooden floor, frightened that someone would catch me out of bed at this hour,

I made my way into the kitchen, gently lifting the board of wood, placed underneath the kitchen table, and there it was — my wand, the only times I was allowed to use it, was at times the dark lord wished for me to cease someone of their life, or to bring unhuman torture upon them,

That's all I've been doing for nearly six months, my father and I have been working for her father, doing every monstrous act he'd craved for us to do, and that breaks you, every time you're demanded to watch someone's eyes darken, in the doorway of death, it takes a piece of you — the screams, and shouts in torture by curses of forbidden magic was enough for me, wanting to die, right there with them,

This wasn't me — I'm not this person. I can't be this cruel, evil human being that they wished for me to become. I refused to, but I had to,

And I did, because all he threatened with the second I disobeyed him was her — he knew how to use her name, to use the love I held for her, to get under my skin, to make me do things a young boy should never have to do, but I did, for her,

I rushed out of the kitchen, headed straight to the front door, my steps echoed severely throughout the house, but I didn't care, not anymore — I need to find her, I needed to stop her before it was too late,

'' Leaving so soon?'' My father's voice came from behind, making me flinch back to look at him, standing with his cane clenched in his hands, his foot impatiently stamping, '' I hope you're not doing what I think you're doing, Draco,'' He seethed, his lips pursed into a firm line,

I blinked quickly, feeling insecure in the hold he had of me, scared that he will restrain me from leaving — because he could, with the right methods. The number of times I had begged him on my knees, for him to allow me to see her if only for one short moment, was unaccountable. He never let his eyes off me,

'' I—,'' I swallowed, my fingers tensed around the wand, '' I will be back—,''

'' No, you won't, Draco,'' He smirked, dropping the end of his cane to the floor, his face sternly cold in disappointment, '' The time is almost here, we're nearly done with the tasks, with the recruits — there is no reason for the dark lord to—,''

''She forgets about me, father—,'' I blurted out, shaking my head in defeat, '' I think she's about to obliviate me out of her mind, and I have to—,''

'' Nonsense—,'' He snarled back, once again hewing me off from talking, '' Young love is nothing for you, you should be focused on the task—,''

'' I have been!'' I yelled out, causing him to lift a brow, his pressed lips falling, '' I have done everything asked of me—, I stayed away from her, just as promised, for six months and I will continue doing so, but I have to see her, I need to convince her not to do this,'' I breathed out, my chest moved roughly, only the thought of her doing so caused me to tremble,

'' I need to talk to her—,'' I swallowed, the lump growing, my eyes flicking back and forth as he inhaled, sharply through his nose, eyes narrowed in mine,

'' So you keep telling,'' He hissed, slamming the cane to the ground, shaking his head in dismay, '' One week, Draco—, that's all I have to offer, we need to be ready for the—,'' He mumbled, nodding towards the door, I felt my veins rush, my heart pounding as I turned around, hauling the door open,

'' But remember this, Draco —, one week, or the dark lord will believe you to be a traitor,'' I halted in my urgent steps, almost holding my breath as he spoke, before I caught his heel stepping out of the hallway, leaving me to find her,

___________

The school stood steady, despite the attempts from the death eaters to tear it down. The headmaster had done a more than an incredible job to keep the students safe, not a scratch visible on the stone-covered facade,

I felt my heart aching as the sun arose, the dawn was here, the strings of light reached all over the stunning castle, and it was time for me to find her — I poured up over the hill, my breaths repeatedly stuck in my throat, chest almost caving in the mixture of relief and sorrow,

Not knowing if I'm too late, if she had done what I feared the most on this earth,

I knew that she slept in my room, precisely as she wrote, but the room scored cold, empty the moment I shoved the door open, only the slightly oversized shirt of mine she always slept in when I was away, rested folded on the green covers, other than that — everything held the same, not a thing out of place,

I stumbled to the doorway of my bathroom as I felt the hurt bolting throughout my veins, the dark blue bottle of shampoo she always kept in my shower was gone, my toothbrush stood empty without hers next to it, only the sight of those small things caused my heart to ache,

Blaise's room stood just as empty as mine; neither of them was anywhere to be found in the dungeons, the common room deserted, not a student insight, not a single soul findable,

I looked through every hallway, shoving every bathroom open, looking for her, hoping to find her as I made my way to her room, nearly sprinting up the stairs, and for a swift moment — I halted right outside of her door, my body trembled the second I caught the scent of her from inside of it, that scent, her consuming, breathtaking scent,

Placing my palms onto the wood, my forehead as well, listening to hear if she's in here, wishing to catch the small mumbles she always hummed when she was getting ready, but nothing — not a sound heard through the door as I twitched my wand in front of it, opening it with a klick,

And my suspicions lived to be correct; she's not here. I let my gaze study her room, it held explicitly the same as it did the night I was foolish enough to storm out of here, over a stupid bicker,

I regret every fucking argument, every mean comment, every harsh glare, everything. She deserved so much more than I ever gave her, and still, she chose me, she decided to stay with me, to never give up on me, to provide me with more than many chances, and here I was, in the clueless mind if the girl I loved, still loved me,

''Fuck—,'' I grunted out, flopping onto her bed as my feet rested on the wooden floor, my hands shrugging against the soft satin covers, my mind haunting me with the image of the two of us in them. My eyes flicked to the pillow I knew she couldn't sleep without; even as kids, she brought that pillow everywhere,

I reached for it, hesitatingly holding it in my shaking hands before I found the bravery of lightly brushing my nose against the soft fabric, and there it was again, the twisting feeling of sickness as I tried to swallow it, throwing the pillow away, shaking my head in defeat,

I forced myself off her bed, marching out of the Ravenclaw tower, incognizant to which class she could possible sought to have at this hour; it was a new year, new students, new classes, and I was in no control of it — I stormed down to the entrance, my eyes flickering over the students heads enjoying breakfast in the great hall, but still not a single sign of her,

My hands rushed through my hair, frustratingly tugging it back, almost as if finding her when I most needed to do so, was impossible, my knuckles collided with the wall of cement, not having any strength left inside — I grew more than impatient as I backed away, turning to look for her in the tower I left her, and as I flung around,

I suffered my breath, ultimately,

My eyes prickled in tears,

The flushed color of my skin, drained,

Because — there she was,

The girl my heart has been longing for,

The girl my mind had been drowning to be without,

She was there, right in front of me, walking her way down the stairs with my best friend as she smiled, in a way that caused my jaws to drop. The dimples in her cheeks were one of the many weaknesses she brought upon me,

The chuckle escaping her light pink lips made my arms drop to my sides, nearly feeling defeated as my eyes grew wide, searching to level hers, and without a second thought — I marched towards her, through the crowd of students, shoving everyone who stood in my way, away,

Every step closer made my heart pound even harder, rougher. I was inches away, she still hadn't noticed me when I slammed myself into her, wrapping my arms around her small figure, burying my head in her hair,

And for a short second, the slightest of them, everything felt safe because it was her and me. I got the chance to hold her again, to feel her warmth in my arms — Her body winced back in my grip, her hands flew to my arms as I bent back, still holding her close.

I meet her eyes, her heavenly eyes as she rose a brow, before furrowing them, her nose slightly scrunching most perfectly,

But then, her face fell, the look of disgust she gave me crushed my insides, merely to a knife stabbing within, over and over and over again,

The way she tried to pry me away from her, how her hand's barely wanted to touch mine caused my heart to drop,

The words fleeing her throat, the vocals spitting at me, broke my entire self completely,

'' Get off me, Malfoy—,''

My entire world shattered as I realized,

She wasn't mine anymore,


	37. T h i r t y - f i v e ,

June,

'' Get off me, Malfoy—,'' I nearly shouted, pushing him back with force, '' What are you—,'' I breathed out as he stumbled, the beaten look on his face hewed me off. Draco Malfoy never looked at me this way; he barely spared me a glare, but now?

Now his eyes glistered in tears, his entire face fallen, the crease of anger in his forehead faded out in sorrow, hurt,

I could hear him swallow, eyes widen before snapping his neck to Blaise standing behind me, blue hues narrowed in Blaise's brown ones, '' When?'' Draco questioned, sternly, the upper lip curving, '' When did—,'' His eyes flickered to mine as he slightly nodded towards me,

'' When did this happened?''

I peered over my shoulder, my face twisted in confusion, '' Two weeks ago,'' Blaise stuttered, his courage fell at the act of the blonde boy, '' Draco, you need to understand—,'' He rose as Draco raised a finger towards him, making him shut up,

The blonde one splintered eyes back to mine, trying to hide his breaking self, taking a boot back, '' What is—,'' He aired, '' What happens to be the last thing you remember of me?'' He asked, his lips pressed together, his jaws clenching by the look of me,

I lightly shook my head, still incomplete confusion to what the two best friends talked about, '' What do you mean—,'' I had felt, during the past weeks, that Blaise avoided the subject of his best friend, that every time I tried speaking about Draco, he shut down, he changed his tells,

'' What. is. the. last. thing. you. remember. of. me?'' He vocalized every word, threatening as he tended to be with me, always managing to be the boy I despised more than anything on this earth,

I felt Blaise's hand stroke my shoulder, squeezing it. Draco's eyes burned in anger, nostrils flaring, making me insecure by the tension they both brought, '' I—,'' I stammered, chewing my bottom lip,

'' Fucking stop that—,'' Draco hissed, his teeth clasping together as he rose a brow, his eyes stabbing through mine, '' Don't do that with your—,'' He held, his shoulders sunk, '' Don't do that with your lips," The words quieted, his bravery lost,

His words left me speechless, the audacity he seemed to have caused my blood to boil. I turned on the last step of stairs, clutching Blaise's hand in mine, " You don't get to tell me what to do, Draco—," I stated, my heart heavily pounded, " If you'll excuse us, Blaise and I have somewhere to be,"

I tried to walk past him, but the second I did, a cold hand wrapped around my wrist, yanking me into his chest, and without a word, he gawked deeply into my eyes, the blue eyes prickled in tears, his breaths ragged,

The seconds felt as if they were hours, the look in his eyes made me mousy, his breaths fanning on my skin; before he stepped back, his hand squeezed around mine, nearly as if he needed to touch me, to feel my skin on his, and then — he let go, storming up the stairs, leaving both Blaise and me clueless,

My eyes matched Blaise's as he looked after Draco, " I need to—," He mumbled before he rushed after his best friend, and in a blink of an eye — I stood alone, my mind swirled in question to what just had passed,

_________

Draco Malfoy,

I slammed my door shut, the aching feeling in my chest tore without mercy, my heart completely shattered. She did this — she chose to forget about me, she chose to leave me, and then she dared to stand before me and chew on that fucking lip —

— my fucking lip. She's mine, everything about her belongs to me, and even is she doesn't remember that I'll remember for her, '' Fuck—,'' I shouted, my breaths stuck in my throat as I did everything possible not to cry,

My fists repeatedly colliding with the wall, blood-stained everywhere, the craving to feel something else than the ache of her consumed me. I flinched back as my door flung open, brown eyes bored through mine, closing the door behind him,

'' Get out—,'' I tried to warn, but Blaise didn't move a muscle, he simply stood before me, his face shifted in worry, the look of him made me furious because he was here, he could've stopped her from doing the worst possible thing, '' Fucking leave, Zabini,''

'' No—,'' He mumbled, his hand rushed over his head, scratching his head after, '' You don't get to do this, Malfoy — You don't get to disappear for six months only shout at me when you're back,''

I stared at my best friend, my knees weakened, my eyes pooled, '' Who did this?'' I growled, my fingers twitching, '' Who did this to her, because there is no way that she decided to do this on her own,'' I nearly broke, my bravery lacking me,

'' She wouldn't do this to me—,'' - the tears I fought missed, streaming down my cheeks, '' She—,'' I sobbed, trying to muffle the whining noises escaping my throat,

I felt his hand on my shoulder, gently pinching it, his face turned soft, his eyes calm as he shyly nodded,'' I need to tell you something Draco—,''

I glared at the boy, breaths hitched utterly,'' I—, I did it, but you weren't—,'' He sucked in a harsh breath, scared to admit that he did this, that he took her from me,

'' I obliviated her, ''

The words leaving his lips burst through the misery, my mind swirled, pushing my curled up fists into his chest, making his back roughly slam against the wooden door, a whimper left his lips as he tried to stand tall on his feet,

But the look of him, standing before, knowing what he'd done, what he'd taken from me, made my blood fume, eyes furiously darkened, my hands flew to his throat, fingers dug into the tanned skin with force,

'' You did this—,'' I hissed, teeth gritted, '' You fucking did this?'' His eyes almost rolled back as the need of air ceased, hands tried to pry mine off, and after moments of tries, he forced me away, making me flounder back,

Both of us breathing hard, all four hands clenched in fists, ready to fight each other, but his face soothed, his chest hunched forward, trying to catch his missing breath, '' You have no idea—,'' He coughed, clearing his throat as he straightened his spine, raising both hands in surrender, '' You don't know what you did to her—,''

'' Don't you think I fucking know that?'' I spat, my voice tore through the room, making him shut up, '' Don't you think I know what I did? I left her, Blaise. I—,''

'' No, you don't, Malfoy—,'' His vocals loud, his temper failing him, '' You don't fucking know because you weren't here.''

''You weren't here when another nightmare woke her up in the middle of the night. You didn't hear her scream for you. You didn't hear her voice breaking in pain, Draco—, ''

'' You weren't here when she was so bloody broken that she couldn't eat, she couldn't speak, all she did was sleep, because all she wanted to do, was to dream of you — she turned into a skeleton—, ''

'' You weren't here when she tried to jump off that fucking tower, or when I found her right here, in your bathroom, trying to slit her wrists, when she begged me on her bare knees to take the pain away—,''

'' I know that this is hard on you, but imagine how hard this was for her. Luna died, you left, there wasn't anything here for her anymore—, '' He breathed out, his chest slowing, his hands frustratingly thrown in the air, '' You weren't here, Draco. She was drowning and believe me when I say that it was the hardest thing I have ever watched because it wasn't her anymore—,''

'' The June you left behind, that brave girl you walked out on—, she died the day you left, and none of us could watch her turn into—,''

'' She needed this Draco,''

I stood frozen; his every word cut right through me, the thought of my selfishness caved my bones. I had only recognized my own pain, my own torture, the feeling of me missing her, but I never once kept it in mind that she was hurting too, perhaps more than I did. This was my fault, not his, not hers — mine,

I was the one who left, and just like she said, in her eyes, I never looked back,

My sight flickered back to his, feeling every bone in my body crumble by the truth, " What does she remember?" I asked, quietly, ashamed of how I treated him,

He once again scratched the back of his head, eyes grounding as he became visibly uncomfortable, " I took away every memory of you since the night we fought in the common room, when you found us in my room," My breaths ragged, the blood flushing in my veins iced, " And I haven't told her anything following that,"

Everything, every memory, good and bad, had left her mind, every last piece of happiness we felt, every fight, everything was gone,

The words stuck in my throat, my ability to speak left me as the tears flooded, '' Is there —,'' My vocals airy in stutters, '' Do you know if there's any chance—,'' Blaise shook his head, leaning against the door, arms crossed over his chest,

'' I don't know, we didn't think—,'' He halted, swallowing the rue, '' We thought you left, it's been six months, Draco. We didn't believe that you would come back,'' My bruised knuckles stung, the dried blood scratched, '' Maybe we should leave her—,''

'' No—,''

I cleared my throat, wiping the salty liquid off my cheeks, straightening my tie, '' I can't—,''

'' I can't live without her, Blaise. She's mine, and there has to be a way,'' I spoke, my courage rising within, '' I need to see my mother. She'll know what to do,'' I shifted around, looking down at the shirt resting folded on my bed, remembering the night she wore it — the night in the manor when she saved me from becoming one of them when she swore to shelter my life with hers,

I blinked at the image of her wrapped in my sheets, her nails digging into my back, her moans in my mouth, her first time admitting to loving me, '' Perhaps there is something with the unbreakable vow we can do,'' I brushed the suit jacket off, shoulders shrugging,

The boy pushed his back off the door, cracking his neck back and forth before taking a step closer, '' I'm coming with you. This is my fault too, and we need to fix this,'' He uttered, trying to sound confident, to convince him to join me,

He shot me a guilty stare, making me nod, my fingers lightly brushed over my jawline as my mind wavered back to her, and the disgusting feeling of leaving her behind again, without saying goodbye, even if I was most likely the last person she wished to meet — I need to see her,

I marched past him, faltering in the doorway, '' Do you know where she is?'' I questioned him; he flipped around to face me, his eyes still glancing in remorse, '' In her room, perhaps, professor snape canceled all classes today, for private matters,''

'' We'll leave when I get back, wait here,''

______________

June,

Blaise was nowhere to be found. He usually caught up with me after he needed to take care of matters, whether it was meeting up with Dean, going to the library, he always came looking for me, but not now—, he poured off after his best friend and left me hanging,

I rocked the door handle, making my door squeak open — I closed and locked it behind me, flopping my books onto my desk, my hands rushed through my hair, releasing the breath of anxiety I've been holding in all morning.

I caught myself humming the song my mother always used to sing, underneath my breath, walking over to my closet as I dragged my shirt over my head, changing into something more comfortable since classes had been canceled,

'' Still doing that I see—,'' His voice cold from behind, making me stumble in panic, and there he was, the cruel, vile Slytherin I loathed — he leaned against the doorframe of my bathroom, still in that black suit he always wore, the blonde hair fell just as sleek over his temples,

'' What—,'' I breathed out, petrified for a slight second before I threw my shirt at his head, covering myself in my robe, almost feeling ashamed that he'd seen me without a shirt on, '' What are you doing here, Draco?'' I snarled, his eyes rolled to my acts as he lifted my shirt to his nose, lightly brushing it against his skin, groaning at the scent of it, of the scent of me,

'' I missed you,'' The blonde one spoke with confidence, earning a confused look to raise on my face, brows furrowed. Draco shoed closer, only inches apart as he looked down on me, meeting those blue eyes of his, '' I missed you so fucking much—,'' He mumbled, nearly inaudible,

'' Your hair—, it's longer,'' He continued, his eyes studied mine, the minty breaths fanned my skin before I arched my head back, chewing my lower lip, but the second I did, his cold hand cupped my chin, the ring-covered thumb brushed over my bottom lip, before moving up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, — the cold hand lingered as he kept his eyes locked in mine,

I wanted to push him back, to once again ask him to leave, to stay away from me, but this strange feeling swirled my mind, something about the way he looked at me, how I suddenly didn't resent his closeness — he had changed.

I couldn't place my finger onto what, but something about the heartless boy I've always known, changed, '' Draco—,'' I panted, my eyelashes batteling,

His jaws tensed at the softness in my voice, '' I know that none of this makes sense to you right now, but it will, soon. I promise—,'' He pushed, closing the space between us, the touch of his cold fingers trailed down to my chest, stroking my necklace, blue eyes dropping do watch it, '' I will fix this—,''

His words made me dizzy, scared to say anything, terrified to speak my mind, to ask why he's acting this way, '' You are mine—,'' He smiled shyly, once again staring right through me, honesty flashed his eyes,

The tension between us grew, my hues flickering between his eyes and lips, my lips slightly parted, tasting his warm breaths, '' You'll always be mine—,'' He gasped, before he tore his eyes away, teeth clasping, almost as if he caught himself on doing something bad, forbidden,

He backed away, the hand glued to my skin, frustratingly rushed through his hair, moving down to straighten his collar, '' Blaise and I have to leave for a short while, but I'm sure we'll be back by tomorrow—,'' He held, blue eyes found their way back to mine,

'' Promise me to stay here until we come back,''

My face twisted in grimace, my heart hammered, '' Where are you going?'' I asked, quietly, not wanting to set him off, because in my experience — Draco Malfoy had the shortest temper with me, the tiniest word could cause him to explode right in front of me,

He shook his head, hands shoved into his pockets, '' Away—,'' He snarled, sternly, not wanting to talk the truth, '' Stay here, and we'll be back soon,'' He ensured, his lower lip quivering as he sought to hide it,

Draco turned around, halfway out the door as he peered over his shoulder, the sharp jaws tensed, lips pressed into lines, '' I will always come back for you, remember that,'' - with those words, he walked out, leaving me breathless, tightly hugging myself in question,

Who knew that Draco Malfoy was able to take my breath away?


	38. T h i r t y - s i x ,

Draco Malfoy,

My mother greeted us with open arms after not seeing her for merely six months, and it was more than wantable. The safety of home, the welfare of being close to her again, brought an indescribable comfort, '' My son,'' She smiled, hugging me close before she turned to my best friend, '' Blaise,'' She smiled, holding him just as tight,

Her eyes flickered between us, concerned to why I was home, when I was supposed to be with my father, doing the dirtiest of deeds for the dark lord, '' Not that I'm not more than pleased to have both of you here—,'' She held, her hands moving to stroke a warm hand over my shoulder,

'' But may I ask why you've decided to come home, Draco — I thought we agreed for you to—,''

'' Are you aware of what she's done, mother?'' I blurted out, earing a shocked look to mount her face by cutting her off, '' Do you know what she's done?''

My mother stared emptily at us both before she snatched us by the arms, dragging us into the kitchen. Her sudden move made me questionable, confused as to why she didn't want to have this conversation out in the foyer, '' She's here, Draco,''

My breaths hitched, my mind dizzy in query — not grasping who my mother talked about, '' Who is—,''

'' June,''

My head snapped to look at Blaise, standing just as startled as I did, eyebrows furrowed before I shook my head in denial, '' No. It's not possible, this morning she was in her room—,''

My mother pushed a finger to her reddened lips, hooded eyes stared through mine, '' She arrived a few hours ago, she didn't want to be alone—,''

My temper failed me the second I caught onto my mother's words, the frustration of her once again disobeying me started to tear within, '' Where?'' I snapped, hewing my mother and Blaise off, '' Where is she?''

My mother's eyes flickered to Blaise's, his face turned in grimace, feeling awkward to the situation, scratching the back of his head before he walked past us, seating himself on one of the kitchen chairs, '' This is going to be a long night,'' He mumbled, his head tucked into his hands, sighing loudly, '' Let him see her, Narcissa —, we can talk about this later,''

My mother nodded, brushing some crumbs off the counter, '' She's in her room,''

I stormed up the stairs, severe steps echoed throughout the hallways as I heard my mother shout after me, but nothing was able to calm me down — because yet again, she did precisely when I told her not to, and even if she was in the loss of her memories of us, she still knows about her father, about all the death eaters seeking to hand her over to him, and to leave school, tended to be more than reckless,

Without hesitation, I booted her door open, only to stumble into an empty room, her bathroom just as deserted — she wasn't here, my body flinched by the sound of something dropping to the ground, further down the hallway, from my room,

I shoved my door open, and the second I did, relief washed over me; there she was, picking up a book from the floor, her head flung around by the sound of the squeaking door. The mesmerizing eyes grew wide as her hands clenched around the spine of the book, '' Draco?'' She breathed out, her voice was heavenly, and the moment I watched her perfect self standing in my room, almost in the exact spot she stood when she first told me she loved me, caused my heart to ache,

__________

June,

His face softened the instant I looked at him, the crease of anger, the fumes of hatred calmed, '' I thought you—,'' I nearly heaved, scared that he'd caught me here, in his room, holding a book of his, but Draco didn't move a muscle, he stood completely still, holding his breath,

The act of him made me timid, almost shy to the expression climbing his front, '' Draco, are you—,'' My words broke through the trance he looked to be in, marching up to me with quick steps, snatching the book right out of my tensed grip,

'' I thought I told you to stay in school,'' He endangered, spitting his vocals at me, '' But you never listen, do you?'' His eyes flashed in anger, nostrils flaring,

'' You have no idea—,''

He hushed, lips pressed into a firm line not to speak ill, not to shout or yell at me for being disobedient, the blue eyes searched mine, and with that, his face sunk, the fierce eyes turned soft,

'' I'm sorry. I just... I can't be at school alone anymore—,'' I whispered, feeling small to his length, '' It doesn't feel right anymore,''

Draco sent me a slight nod, blonde strands of hair messy over his forehead as if he had rushed his hands through it, tugging it back, '' I understand,'' He mumbled, still standing close, too close, '' But next time, you need to tell me where you're going, it's not safe—,'' The words fleeing his lips caused my blood to boil, the mystery he kept me in, the dark he refused to let me out of triggered me,

'' What is it to you, Draco?'' I snapped, brows frustratingly furrowed, '' You came into my room this morning, acting completely strange — telling me that you'll always come back for me and that you missed me,''

'' I'm not a fool, Draco. Something happened. Blaise has been acting more than suspicious for the last couple of weeks as well, and nobody is telling me anything,'' I shot the book in his hands a swift look, making him look down at it, his eyes shut close, almost as if he hurt by looking at it,

'' Forgettable spells?'' He doubted me, shaking his head as his eyes flayed open, holding the book up for better view, '' And why is that — that you require to read such a book?'' His blue eyes bored through mine, with the same spite they did in the common room that night when he decided to beat Blaise up and then leave, but even if the blue hues shredded mine, it was this flash, a light in them, that ached in feeling,

'' I told you—,'' I held, taking a step back, '' I told you that something isn't right and no one is telling me anything — not even Narcissa is being honest,'' My tongue trembled on my words, my mind clouded with all the loose threads surrounding me.

The blonde boy didn't answer. He bit his lower lip, running his tongue on the inside of his cheek,

'' For example — where were you? You just disappeared, Draco, one day you beat both Blaise and Cedric up for merely looking at me, and then, you just left — why would you do that?''

My words hit more than a nerve; his eyes prickled in tears as he turned around, pacing back and forth in his room, his heels stamping impatiently, his hands stretching his jawline,

'' Something is missing, Draco — I feel like a big part of my life just vanished, and here I am, all by myself when everyone around me keeps lying,'' My voice broke in despair, eyes pooled by the thought popping up in my head, he hasn't been here, he has no idea to what I've been through,

'' Do you even know—,'' I whimpered out, the aching tones scoring through my vocals halted him, making his eyes level mine, '' Do you know that she died?''

Draco rose his head further, his jaws dropped, his shoulders sunk, his entire self completely diminished, as if he'd seen a ghost, as if a memory of something terrible flickered his mind, he tried to hide the agony flushing within, but to no use, in some way — I was able to see right through him,

'' I—,'' He stuttered, not knowing what to say or what to do, '' I heard about it, and believe me when I say this, June. I'm more than sorry for your loss, she was..'' He held, shoeing up to me again, his eyes still firmly locked in mine,

'' She was truly amazing, and I can't begin to understand how hard that was for you,'' He looked at me, from inches away, in a way he'd never done before — almost as if he was able to feel my pain.

The mark, inked into my arm stung at the thought of her, making me cringe at his closeness — his eyes moved to watch my skin, and when he noticed the scratch marks, the scars of nails,

His hand wrapped around my wrist, bending it up between us, the rings cooled over my heated skin, " I assume you heard about this too? Since it was your father how gave it to me," I snarled, his jaws clenched together, eyes broad. The look of him, glaring at him as he stared on the mark inflicted a lingering feeling over me,

The feeling of familiarity became overwhelming, " What are you not telling me, Draco?" I quieted down, his fingers slightly loosened, letting go of me entirely in silence.

He refused to tell me, and I could see that on the look he held, that this was something deeper, more challenging for him than it was for me, but even then — it made me more than upset. I know that Draco doesn't owe me anything, but still bored somewhere within — I hoped that he'd at least been honest with me,

'' Well—,'' I yanked away, still glaring at him, '' If you're not telling me about this — I'll just have to find out by myself,'' I snatched the book out of his hand, marching my way past him out the door. The cursing underneath his breath as I left tore through me, yet not,

It was frustrating, wrenching to have the truth on the tip of your tongue but not being able to speak it, to be kept in the dark of your own mind, to feel as if months and months of memories had just been ripped away,

I made my way through the manor, feeling the chilled air soaring against my flushed skin, upset beyond despair with the blonde boy who disapproved me of reality. '' Narcissa— I think it would be better for me to go back—,'' I gasped, my eyes snapping to my best friend, hunkered down on a chair next to her, '' Blaise?''

He smiled, pushing his chair back to great me, warm, comforting arms wrapped around my trembling figure as he hugged me, '' I heard you snuck out, after all,'' He mumbled, quietly to avoid Narcissa's attention, '' You shouldn't do that, not when Malfoy is back,''

My face twisted as I arched back from his hold, feeling the fabric of his shirt shrugging against my cheek, '' I'm not staying. I came down here to tell you that I will be going back to school—,'' I held, clocking Narcissa's eyes, glinting in the strokes of evening sun bursting through the kitchen windows, '' I'm sorry, Narcissa, but I don't think it was a good idea of me to—,''

'' You're not going anywhere, alone,'' His voice came hoarse from behind, '' Right? She's not going anywhere until we've figured this out,'' I spun around in Blaise's arms, eyeing the visibly shaking boy down, '' Right?''

Eyes rolled, feeling my whole body tense at his demeanor, '' How many times am I supposed to tell you this, Draco, ''

'' You don't get to—,''

" No, you don't get to,"

Narcissa cleared her throat, hewing both Draco and me off in the heat of the moment, '' That's enough, from the both of you. No one is going anywhere,'' She stated, sternly, '' June, come with me, will you?'' His mother stood tall next to me. Her hand placed on my lower back to walk me upstairs,

___________

Narcissa nervously fixed the pillows resting on my bed, her hands stroked over the soft fabric, easing every wrinkle, but she stayed quiet, not a word, barely a breath left her red lips — she kept her eyes on my bed, still mending the setting,

'' Narcissa,'' I called out for her, across the room,

She slammed her fists into the cover, shaking her head, '' I know you to be reckless at times, dear,'' She spoke, placing her hands over her hips, '' But I never believed you to do this, what you have done is of a serious matter, June,''

'' I don't know if there's a way to fix this, to bring your..'' She held, her lips instantly pressed together as if she was going to speak more than allowed to. That intrigued me even graver — the fact that she knew about it but still haven't told me,

I shoed closer, my eyebrows rising in curiosity, '' To fix what, Narcissa?'' My voice came out harsh, queer, making her eyes snap to mine, '' I did something, that much I understand, but I can't—,'' I asked her as her face clenched, her sights grounding, '' I can't figure out what, what did I do to feel this way, like something is missing,''

She took a seat on my bed, patting it for me to sit next to her, her curls hanging off her shoulders, the top of her hair tangled into a gracious bun, '' I didn't know until Blaise informed me about what you did and even if I feel the need to be upset with you for making such efforts without talking to me—,''

'' I was here to watch you lose yourself in your misery, and I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy,'' Her eyes stared emptily across the room as I slipped down next to her, my heart pounding, every flush of blood burned,

'' No—,'' I breathed out, my mind twirling the truth I knew rested within, '' Tell me I didn't—,''

" Who?"

" Who did I..."

The dark-colored eyes flickered to mine, her eyelashes battling the tears urging to fall, lips parted to speak, '' You did. You asked Blaise to use a forgetfulness charm on you, but I think you know that''

I did. I did know that something had been erased from my mind, that this leak of time in my head couldn't occur by itself,

I nodded at her words, shutting my eyes closed as she sucked in a harsh breathe, '' But of course, you don't know what—,'' Her hand moved to laze on my thigh, giving me the comfort she kenned I needed,

'' It's Draco, June,''

'' You chose to forget about Draco,''


	39. T h i r t y - s e v e n ,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I want to address something that I often see in my comments, and that is that I often receive comments saying, '' Omg is this from possessive,'' or '' Mattheo Riddle, is this you?'' AND I DO NOT MIND THOSE TYPES OF COMMENTS. Usually, I find them really funny.
> 
> BUT, often, these comments turn into so much more, and I am daily being accused of stealing ideas, sentences, and words from Yasmine, and that's so annoying. I have to delete so many comments about this every day, and it's starting to get on my nerves.
> 
> So I will speak about this one more time to make it perfectly clear for everyone what this is about.
> 
> No. I do not '' steal'' anything from Yasmine or her book. Still, I do write for her when she wants me to, and that means that certain parts you read in possessive can sound similar to what you later read in my books, or that I sometimes use paragraphs and ideas I have already written in my books, and transform it into hers.
> 
> Yasmine and I are best friends, and I love writing for her, so please stop making things up and cause problems when there really aren't any.
> 
> Thank you. <3

Mature content ahead,

___________

His mother's words tore through my mind, the truth she tried speaking tossed inside,

'' You chose to forget about Draco,''

'' You loved him, June,''

'' The two of you were meant for each other,''

'' But you wanted to let him and the love you shared go,''

There was no way, no possible way for me to love him, for me to be in love with such a heartless, vile boy. Nothing made sense to me anymore, not him, not her, not even myself,

I hated Draco Malfoy. He did everything possible for me to despise him, and then I'm supposed to believe that I had fallen in love with him? That he was the reason I managed to keep going after Luna passed away?

Never.

I flung around in my bed, the clock ticked far past midnight, and even if I was tired enough to fall asleep there and then, my mind didn't give me the release I needed. All I could think of was him —, Draco and why, if the impossible were to be correct,

Why would I ever have chosen to forget about him, to forget about us,

The stone-covered floor scored cold underneath my bare feet as I sneaked my way through the hallway, halting right outside of his room, the room I've supposedly slept in for months, the door stood open, not much but the gap broadly enough for the lights still turned on to shine light across the darkened hall,

'' Draco?'' I whispered, my fingers gripped around the wood, pushing it open even further, '' Draco, are you awake?'' My eyes grew wide at the look of him, resting in his bed with nothing but the sheets covering him, a book glued to his hand as blue eyes snapped to mine, standing startled in the doorway to his room,

'' What brings you here?'' He questioned, flopping the book over the covers before propping himself up, leaning against the headboard,

'' Did you lose your ability to speak?'' He snarled, annoyed with the shocked look on my features,

I shook my head, swallowing thickly as I tried to hide behind the door, still in nothing but my night robe, '' I—,''

'' As you may know by now, I've—,'' He pointed towards me, eyes fleeing over my bare thighs, '' That's nothing I haven't seen before,'' - a smirk curled over his lips, his exposed chest slightly rising and falling beneath the green fabric,

I felt the embarrassment chewing within, the truth that he remembers everything, every detail of what we've been through, and I stand more than clueless across from him, breathless to his act, '' This was a mistake—,'' I choked on my own spit, my tongue tangled on my words as I turned around, walking away from him,

My hands rushing through my hair in defeat, of course, he'd do this, of course, he would mock me, taunt me for doing what I did — he made everything worse, the feeling of wanting to remember, fled my mind the second his arrogant self stared me down,

I flinched, my entire body coiled by the cold arms wrapping around my waist, pulling my back into his chest, '' You walked out on me once, darling,'' His breaths fanned the back of my neck, iced fingers digging into my flesh, '' I'm never allowing you to do so again,'' - with that, he dipped down, his arms pinched around my thighs and back as he lifted me, carrying me back to his room,

'' Draco, don't—,'' I tried to speak, but he hushed me down, tilting his head to the doors in the corridor, '' We don't want to wake Blaise and mother up, do we?'' He mumbled, looking concernedly proud of what he just accomplished, that he got me, once again, wrapped around his little finger,

He let me down right inside of his door, closing it shut behind us, '' I shouldn't be here, it's—,''

'' But something brought you here, didn't it?'' He bites back, towering over me as my eyes leveled his bare chest, the toned muscles flexing of the heavy breathing, the porcelain skin paler than ever — his skin looked beaten, his body thin, and even if it shouldn't, the look of him, his worn figure, caused my heart to ache,

My eyes flickered up to his, eyelashes battling, '' It did, but it's not—,'' I chewed my lower lip in hesitation, making his eyes to roll impatiently, '' I wanted to ask you something,'' Blue eyes narrowed in mine, jaws slightly tensing as he stood close,

'' Go ahead,''

I felt my fingers twitch, nails boring into my palms as he eyed me down, holding tall in front of me, '' Is it true, what your mother said, that we—,'' I cleared my throat, still unsure to if I should be talking to him about this, because if this was how Narcissa described it to be — he was suffering, he had to be in so much pain for being this close to me, yet so far away, he loved me, and I disappeared from his life, just like that.

He walked into me on the stairs yesterday, hopeful to see me again, excited to have me back, only to find out that I failed him, that I let him go, without giving him the chance to explain it,

'' Do I love you, Draco?''

The tensed look fell, his shoulders sunken, the bravery in his eyes burned out,

Silence, complete silence except for the heavy breaths between us. He looked at me like he'd seen someone that he hadn't met in years, a glimpse of hope sparked within the ashen skin, '' I like to believe that you did,'' He tore the blue eyes away, taking steps back,

'' I hope you did,''

'' I hope you still do,'' Draco mumbled underneath his breath, sending me the guiltiest of glares, '' I did something horrible, June,'' He shook his head, blonde strands of hair fell over his eyebrows as his spine rested against the wall,

I didn't know what to say, what to do, even how to breathe at this point. The reality of this was clouding; the fact that these words are spoken by the boy I believed to hate was too much, but even then — my blood flushed, the need of knowing more triggered within,

'' Do you love me?'' I whispered, seeking for him to look at me, '' I mean, did you love me?'' His eyes snapped to mine without delay, his back forced off the wall as he quickly stepped back up to me, holding only inches away — the blue hues lightly prickled in tears,

His eyes,

I fell lost in them, without hesitancy,

'' I did, and I still do,''

I felt my jaw shaking, my insides bending, the sinking feeling washed heavily over me, nearly flinching by the cold hand brushing against my cheek, '' You don't remember this now, but we...'' 

Draco sighed, the air around us thickened as he cupped my cheek, letting my head rest in his hold, '' We had something—, something I can't even begin to explain, but we will get it back, no matter what it takes. I can't lose you,''

''I promise you that,''

I wanted to think about all of this as lies, but this, right here — was the most honest, most sincere I had ever seen Draco act with me, he loves me, and he will do anything to get me back, '' Why?'' I asked again, my words left in stutters, '' Why did I do this, Draco? If I loved you so much, why would I ever take you away?''

His eyes bored through mine, his breaths slightly hitched at my question, he shifted uncomfortably, nearly frightened to tell me why — why I gave up on something that seemed so pure, so raw, so real,

'' I hurt you.'' He pulled his touch away, running his ring-covered fingers through his hair, '' I did something that I regret deeply to this day, but I did what I did, for you,'' The miny breaths tasted more than sweet on my lips, the hoarse vocals broke, '' I was stupid, foolish to do what I did and if I—,''

'' If I ever had the chance to do it differently - I would've,''

My heart shattered at his regret, at the eyes flashing in hurt, the voice splitting in torture, '' Do you want this again, Draco?'' I breathed out, paralyzed in his embrace, blood whirling in my ears, the sound of a mighty ocean swirled, '' Your mother thinks she has a way to fix this—, to fix me,''

The soaring look turned confused, brows furrowed, '' What?'' He looked stunned, surprised to what I'd told him, yet a feeling of relief fluttered around us,

I nodded at his words, my feet striving closer, '' Do you want her too? I mean—, if you had the chance of having me back, would you want that?''

'' Would you want me?'' - without a second thought, his hands flew to my neck, bending it back to look at me, his eyes studying every inch of my features,

" There is nothing I'd want more—,'' His nose brushed against mine, the feeling of longing caved my bones — even if I had erased him from my mind, it was as if my body still needed him, craving him,

My eyes fluttered close, so did his, and in a heartbeat between the both of us, our lips collided in the most magical of ways,

'' You're mine,'' Draco breathed into my parted lips, his tongue battling mine, '' You're fucking mine, and you will come back to me—,'' The cold hands moved down to my hips, pinching my thighs to pick me up,

'' You will always come back to me,''

Wrapping my legs around his waist as he slammed both of us into the wall, his lips still kissing mine, my hands held all tangled into his hair, '' I'm right here,'' I whimpered out, pushing myself closer, holding onto him harder, '' I'm right here, Draco,"

"I want to be yours again,'' I could feel how his whole self flinched at my words, he pulled back, still having me pushed up against the wall,

'' What did you say?'' He asked, nearly breathless, eyes flickering all over, '' Say it again,'' His cheeks blushed, eyes softly locked in mine,

'' I need to hear you say that again,''

I blinked quickly, my lips swollen, my skin flushed as the courage grew within. Even if I didn't remember, this was it. This felt as if it was everything, and I needed him back. I needed the memory of us back,

'' I'm yours, Draco,''

That sent him over the edge. He craved more of me, he needed all of me, my back off the wall as he carried me to his bed, lips still plastered to each other. Draco sat down, with me straddling his lap, his hands ripping the night robe off — the feeling of his skin brushing against mine, was more breathtaking, merely to if my skin was made for his, the way he touched me,

The way his hands slipped around me, longing for me — he hadn't touched me in months, and it was drowning him, from the inside out. I could feel how much he'd missed me with one single touch, how eager he was to taste me, to have his arms wrapped around me,

'' I missed you—,'' He groaned, hands moving down to my lower back as he grasped my waist, urging for me to move my hips, grounding myself over his clothed thigh, '' I missed this—,'' He spoke again, fingers coarsely digging into my flesh, making my hips buck into his,

The coiling feeling of my heat, rubbing against his thigh made me moan straight into his divided lips, my hands sought their way to his shoulders as my nails scratched the exposed back, '' Draco—,'' I slurred, too consumed in the feeling of him, too distracted of how he pushed my hips back and forth, to even speak,

His chest pounded roughly, his skin heated by the pleasure to have me here, to have me back, '' Will you cum for me?'' He mumbled, tearing away from my lips, trailing wet, lively kisses down my jawline, over my neck. Draco's acts earned paths of soft moaning from the back of my throat, '' Fuck —, I've missed those sounds,'' His hand seeking to cup my cheek as eyes rolled back, my nerves on the edge of ecstasy,

Draco tended back, blue eyes searched for mine — he stared deeply, smirking at the view of me almost reaching my high on his leg, of me rocking myself over him, grasping at his hair, of my body being on complete edge for his — another hushed moan escaped my lips, feeling his ring-coated thumb dragging my lower lip down, '' Never hush yourself, darling—,"

" You're mine, and I want to hear every single sound leaving those lips,''

The way he spoke to me, in that demanding yet gentle voice, made my insides twist, my back arched to be closer to him as he started to move his thigh, '' Now cum for me, darling,''

My eyes squeezed shut, my hips kept rolling on top of his, sensing the fabric of his sweatpants stroking against my clit, my underwear soaked, and I couldn't take it anymore. The feeling of this, the taste of him, was more than I could handle, '' Draco—, I'm—,''

My head thrown back, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as I breathed heavily, feeling him pushing himself closer, his hands sheathed around my hips, helping me rock my way through the orgasm shredding throughout my every vessel, '' There she is, there's my good girl,'' He grunted into my skin, holding onto me as I shook in pleasure,

'' Always such a good girl for me,''

I felt myself swallow, collecting myself after the breathtaking peak I just reached, meeting his eyes for a slight second before he pushed us up, flinging me around till my spine collided roughly with the mattress, silky covers shrugged gently against my skin. '' Will you stay here tonight?''

Draco's chest heaved heavy against mine, his hands tangled up in my hair and the feeling of hesitation flooded over me, '' Please, stay here tonight — I just got you back,'' The minty breaths sweet, the soft, longing look in those enchanting blue eyes, the charming blonde strands of his hair completely messy over his forehead, and I was trapped,

Even if I had no recollection of the love I've held for him, he took my breath away, and I was his, no matter what, '' I'll stay,'' The shyly smile arching on his lips made me more than soft as my heart ached at the thought of it. We need to fix this,

I need to remember.

_______

The second I clocked my eyes open, the boy, who's arms I fell asleep in last night, was gone, nowhere to be found in his room. I tossed around in the emerald sheets, feeling the strokes of sun tickle my eyelashes, my skin soft against the covers as my mind fluttered back to last night, to the words the blonde boy had spoken, to the way he made me feel — I felt a shy smile tickle my lips by the thought of it, that I loved him, that somewhere deep inside there were memories of him and me,

'' Oh—,'' I heard a dark, raspy voice stutter as I cringed, nearly flying off the mattress, tugging a sheet around my almost exposed body, '' I didn't. I thought that Malfoy—,'' Blaise mumbled, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment as he looked at me, standing ashamed and startled in front of him, with nothing other than Draco's sheets covering me,

My eyes grew wide, my arms wrapped around to hug my almost bare self further, '' Blaise, what are you—,''

'' Fucking hell, Blaise—,'' Draco shouted from down the hall, severe, sharp steps sounded closer before he gripped the back of his best friends collar, hauling him back out the door, '' Didn't I tell you not to go in here,'' Draco pushed himself in front of Blaise, blocking his every chance to get a glance at me,

'' Draco, it's not—,'' I breathed out as I stumbled closer, looking around me to find the night robe he ripped me off last night, '' It's not like that, you should know that by now,'' Draco flung around, blue eyes bored through mine as he stepped closer, towering over my startled self. He was intimidating, yet gentle,

'' I know exactly what it is and isn't like, but this—,'' He held, rolling his tongue over his bottom lip, gesturing to my trembling body, '' All of this, is mine and I don't appreciate when others get to look at the things, that is mine," His words caused me to suck in a harsh breath, still not used to him claiming me, still in the loss of my own memories,

His heated breaths fanned my skin as I chewed on my bottom lip, making his eyes flicker down to watch it, '' The things you do to me, Riddle—,'' He mocked, his cold hand moving up to cup my chin, stroking his thumb across my bottom lip, '' You're—,'' 

'' Breathtaking,'' Draco's features slightly fell, the corner of his mouth twitching, " Mother wants us downstairs, she has matters to discuss,''

I lightly nodded at his words, feeling my nerves twist, my breaths ragged — I knew exactly what she wished to tell us,

How to break the spell that held my mind in chains, 

And the cruelty that comes with it.


	40. T h i r t y - e i g h t ,

Draco pulled a chair out for me before slipping down on the seat next to mine. His mother urgently placed the breakfast on the table before us, before joining across it, '' Here—,'' Draco muttered, placing two pancakes on the white porcelain in front of me, pouring my glass full of apple juice,

'' You need to eat something,'' His eyes snapped to my figure, raising a brow at the fact that I indeed had been starving myself, that my body was nothing similar to the last time I believed he saw me. He looked away, trying to follow what Blaise and Narcissa chatted about.

I felt the warmth rushing through me at his acts, not used to him caring for me the way he is now. A shy smile snuck onto my lips, slightly blushing, '' So do you—,'' His eyes locked in mine as he once again rose a brow. I lifted my fork and the piece of pancake resting on it up to his lips, nodding for him to eat — Draco annoyingly rolled his eyes at my gesture before parting his lips to take a bite,

'' This is nice,'' Narcissa's voice caused me to flinch back, almost forgetting that both hers and Blaise's presence, '' To have all of you here — I mean,'' She smiled, slurping on her tea, '' It feels... like old times,'' Draco huffed at her words, earing a slap on the arm from Blaise,

'' Don't be rude, Malfoy,'' Blaise spat at him, his mouth full of bread, '' You need to learn some manners,'' He muttered before swallowing, turning to Narcissa, '' It's nice to be here, Narcissa,'' Blaise smiled back, sending his best friend a glare,

'' No need to lecture Draco, Blaise. He never seems to learn no matter how many times I've tried to,'' She laughed, cutting her cooking in pieces, '' Or do you, son?'' She continued, but the blonde one merely rolled his eyes at the two mocking him before looking back at me,

His eyes searched mine, staring intensely, making sure that I ate every last piece of food holding on my plate. The comfort of his hand moving to rest on my thigh made my insides twist, feeling the cold rings burning into my skin as he lightly stroked it up and down, trailing goosebumps behind him,

The mumbles of Blaise and Narcissa talking echoed between us, but the second I met the blue eyes, everyone around us ceased to exist, nearly to only the two of us was here, emotion flashed through his eyes as he leaned back in his chair, rushing the other hand through his hair, '' Draco—,'' I breathed out, catching his attention,

'' I need to tell you something—,''

'' June—,'' Narcissa cleared her throat, putting her fork down, '' I thought we agreed not to speak about this,'' Her words caused Draco's spine off the chair, hands placed over the table as he narrowed blue eyes in his mother's,

'' Tell me what?'' He seethed, understanding that this was about me, '' What are you keeping from me this time, mother?'' He urged annoyingly as the panic tore through my vessels, my heart pounding roughly in my chest,

My eyes flickered to Blaise's, who sat just as confused as his best friend, snapping his eyes between all of us, '' This has nothing to do with you, Draco. This is about Jun—,''

'' If it is about her, then it's about me too,'' Draco stated, hushing his mother down. She shook her head, strands of hair fell over her shoulders as she nervously brushed them off,

'' Well?'' Draco was more than impatient, his neck clocked to mine, raising his brows before furrowing them, '' If she's not telling me, then you are,''

'' Tell me what you're talking about right now, June or I swear to—,''

'' We found a way,'' I heaved out, frightened to the tension growing around us, scared for him to lose his temper, knowing that nothing good will ever come from it, because in one way or another, he will find out —, the blonde one had more than a stubborn mind, and apparently, when it's regarding me, it's even worse,

'' We found a way to get my memories back,''

The furious look on Draco's highlights fell, his eyes softened as he forced his chair back, marching around my seat, '' Then what are you people waiting for—,'' He snarled, dragging my chair out, turning around only to realize that none of us stood up to join him,

We rested frozen, my eyes grounding as I swallowed the lump violating my throat, feeling more than guilty about what he doesn't know. He turned back, facing me, catching his hitched breaths, '' Don't you want to?'' He quieted, jaws clenching, '' Is that it? You don't want your memories back?''

'' You don't want to be with me anymore?''

The words leaving his lips caused my heart to break, my eyes clocking his as I stood tall in front of him, paralleling the provoked hues, '' Of course I want to remember, Draco.''

'' Of course, I want you...But—,''

'' But?''

I tilted my head, looking at his mother as she sent me a nod, permitting me to tell him the truth of what it takes to break the obliviate spell, of what I have to go through to do this,'' I want to remember you, Draco. Never think otherwise, but there is something else, to break the magic—,''

Shaky breath passed both of our lips, standing only inches apart, '' In order to break the magic—,''

''I need to be tortured,''

_________

My knees felt weak beneath me, my heart pounding with force within my chest as Blaise's wand rose to level me, '' Do I have to do this?'' He chocked out. The guilt flashing within was too much for him — I could see that, but I needed him to do this. The only way for the bound magic to be broken is if the one who cast the spell is the one to break you out of it,

'' You deserve to be the one to do this—,'' Draco spat at his best friend, cold hands stroking along my arms as he stood with his chest firmly hugged against my back, seeking to give me comfort before the torture rose,

'' You were the one letting her do this in the first place, and even if it's—,''

'' Draco, please,'' His mother begged, from across the room, shaking his head at her son's attitude, '' June doesn't need this right now,'' I felt his fingers squeeze into my flesh, the cold rings leaving marks by the tension,

He turned me around, narrowing the blue eyes in mine, '' You don't need to do this if you don't want too—,'' His arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his chest, '' I want you back, more than anything — but we'll find other ways,'' He tried to soothe but to no use,

My mind was more than set.

I needed to remember him.

I needed to remember everything I had pleaded for Blaise to take away, '' I want to. It's alright, Draco—,'' I whimpered, feeling the tears pooling, '' I have done this before,'' His heart pounded roughly, his bravery broke for what I had to go through.

I arched my neck, leveling the blue eyes, " I'm ready," My words left in stutters, preparing for the pain I knew was coming, but before I had any chance in turning back around, his head dipped, quivering lips kissed mine, gently, feeling the need his touch brought, not caring for the eyes watching us,

Draco let go of me before slowly backing away, his eyes still locked in mine as I shifted around, facing my best friend, his body shook violently, not wanting to be the one to do this, '' Blaise,'' I called out for him, trying to break the trance of remorse,

'' Blasie, it's alright. I want you to do this,'' I sent him a gentle nod, ensuring him that this was more than alright, the brown, terrified eyes bored through mine,

His hand shaking, his breaths hitching as he sucked in the deepest of breaths, a clear tear rolled down his cheek, '' I'm so sorry for this,'' He breathed out, teeth clasping together,

" I'm sorry—,"

'' I'm so so sorry—,''

'' Crucio,''

The green light of torture ripped my senses, the hurt and pain of the forbidden magic scored right through me, even if I tried to fight it — I dropped to my knees, my entire self trembling as I heard Blaise's voice, comforting me throughout the misery,

'' June—,'' He spoke, his vocals shredded in despair,

'' I need you to look at me, please look at me,''

I swallowed the feeling of knives ripping me apart from the inside as I peeled my eyes open, trying to focus on him, seeking to only issue his voice, keeping my eyes locked in his, '' I need you to remember. I need you to remember what I took from you, can you do that?''

But I couldn't. Nothing came to mind other than the pain scolding me within, suffocating my ability to breath, slowing my heart to the slowest rate — my need to scream ceased out of the need for oxygen,

My nerves burned, my lungs heaved emptily of air, the spell nearly drowned me as I caught the clinking sound of heels booting closer, a freezing hand gripped mine, '' Darling—,'' Draco spoke, softly,

'' Come back to me,''

I shut my eyes close, trying to remember the last time I heard him say such a word, '' Please, come back to me—,''

The fiery feeling in my mind twirled cold, hearing the voice of him from further away, nearly as a memory, feeling the touch of imagination in my mind, the images of Draco, kissing me, touching me, holding me, flashed through my head,

'' Remember the night in the library — remember when you asked if I loved you, in ways you only read about in books, in that—,''

'' Heartbreaking way—,'' I finished for him, hearing my own voice clearly within, my body crawled together as the torture dug deeper, my bones caving in complete agony, endless trails of whimpers left my lips. Draco called out of his mother, arguing with her as I kept focusing on the Draco plastered in my head,

'' She needs do go deeper, Draco — she needs a memory that hurt her, beyond repair,''

'' I can't do that, it will break her — we should stop this, she's hurting too much, mother,''

'' No, you can't stop now, she's close, Draco, she's so close — there isn't any other way. If you break her out of this now, we need to do this again, and I don't believe her body is capable of handling this one more time,''

The knives within ruptured everything, my mind almost killing me as I felt his hand holding tighter, '' Remember the night I left you. Do you remember how I asked you to close your eyes?'' I sought to imagine how it would feel for me if he would ever leave me, how it would feel to have my heart completely ripped out of my chest by the one person you believed to love you more than anything,

'' You're mine, mine, mine and—,''

'' Only mine—,'' I gasped,

Draco,

It was Draco,

It had always been Draco,

Every fight,

Every kiss,

Every dream,

Every nightmare,

Every word spoken,

It was him,

My blonde boy,

My Draco.

Every nerve turned over, and at that moment every memory, every kiss, every touch drowned me, the recollection of the boy I loved so raw and deep, the boy who left me in the tower the night I believed my life to be over — it was Draco, it has always been Draco,

'' Draco—,'' I cried out, the hurt of the spell was nothing compared to the feelings and emotion washing over me, he was mine, and I was his,

'' Draco, please—,'' I begged, hearing him shout at his best friend, the green light faded, the knives stopped shredding, and then it all turned blank,

_________

'' Draco—,'' I gasped, my spine flying off the mattress, my body felt burning hot, insides ached as I flayed my eyes wide, feeling as if I had just woken up from a bad dream — a terrible nightmare, drips of sweat fled my forehead, still breathing heavy.

I flinched at the feeling of his arms tugging me back, '' It's alright, darling,'' He hummed into my hair, sweet minty breaths fanned my shoulder, sensing my back hugged tightly against his bare chest,

'' I'm right here,''

I felt my veins ice, my entire body clenching as I floundered around to look at him,

To see for myself if this was possible,

If he indeed came back for me, just as he promised me to,

The blonde strands of hair tangled over his head, the blue eyes that had the possibility of tearing me in two looked straight at me, and the twisting feeling, caving my bones of the sight of him,

He's here,

He really is here,

The blonde boy, who shattered my heart, who left me behind, was holding right in front of me, looking at me wide-eyed, nearly startled at my reaction,

'' Draco—,'' I breathed out, my hand shakingly moving to stroke my fingertips against his cheek, before quickly pulling it back, scared of the truth of him, being here,

He came back for me,

He held the promise he gave me months ago. He came home.

'' I—,'' My eyes prickled in tears as all the emotion I kept hidden within for the last two weeks burst through my barrier — trails of sobs left my throat while I crawled back in the bed, '' You—,''

'' You left me—,'' I hold my breath, climbing off the mattress, '' You—,'' I heaved, bending forward to catch the missing breath.

My mind almost exploded as every memory, every word, every passing sought to find it's way back, and it ached, tore, shredded — my hands flew to my hair, grasping it in attempts to ease the pain soring through my head,

'' No. I came back for you—,'' Draco tried speaking, but the confidence within failed him as I dropped to my knees, my chest heavy, '' Shit—,'' He mumbled, striving to kneel beside me, to hold me as I completely broke in the torture of my own mind,

I pushed him back, my back roughly collided with the nightstand, but the boy in front of me didn't even budge. He held steady, sending me a glare ripping in guilt, '' Don't do that—,''

'' Don't you dare try and push me away. I got you back. I'm here now, and I'm never leaving you again, so don't you fucking dare try and distance yourself from me,''

My eyes prickled in tears, my heavy breaths shifted in sobs, '' But you left me, Draco. You woke up one day, and you chose to walk away—,''

'' I did that for you!''

Draco pushed himself off the ground, towering over me, '' When will you understand that? When will you get that through your head — everything I ever did, was to protect you—,''

'' You don't know what your father planned to do with you, you don't know what I had to go through those months to keep you safe, without even knowing if I would ever be able to see you again—,'' The blue eyes I always lost myself in pooled as he stepped back, shaking his head in dismay,

'' Yes. I left you. I fucking left you, but did you even think about what leaving you did to me? How I fucking cried myself to sleep every night? How I couldn't get you out of my damn mind?'' Draco's voice loud in shouting, arms thrown in the air,

'' I drowned, too, every fucking minute of every fucking day, I also died —,''

My heart shattered,

'' I wanted to die without you, but I couldn't do that because all I kept wishing for was to come back, to have you back, and when I finally did, you took me away, you fucking erased me and everything we went throughout of your mind—,''

Silence. He hushed down, shocked by his own words to even finish the tells he rose, he merely glared at me before looking away,

'' You left me too, June.''

I wanted the floor to swallow me whole.

I wanted to die, right there and then.

He was right.

I did.

I left him in ways even worse than he did. I gave up on him. I stopped believing in him, something I promised him not to do.

I failed him more than he had ever failed me.

He was so much stronger than I will ever be. He left the love of his life to protect her and lived through it all to have me back, but something he didn't know. Something I died to tell him was that I was his and that I always will be,

I forced myself off the ground, tears flooding down my pale skin, stumbling right into his chest, arms clinging around his neck as I held him — in a way he always held me, '' I'm sorry, Draco,'' I whispered through my tears,

'' You will never lose me again. I'm right here—,'' I peered up at his fallen features, feeling his arms wrapping around my waist,

'' Right where I'm supposed to be,''

Draco's tensed body softened, nearly melted in my hold, gently brushing his nose against mine, and I knew, something that I always had known, far down,

I wanted to be with him,

Forever,

His fingers entwined, slowly, with mine, and suddenly, life made sense,

It all made sense.

The blue eyes flickered between my eyes and lips as I chewed my bottom lip. The cold fingers held mine tighter,

'' Marry me.''


	41. T h i r t y - n i n e ,

Mature content ahead.

________

'' Marry me.''

I stared wide-eyed at the boy in front of me, breaths hitched in the back of my throat as the air in my lungs tightened, the strokes of early morning sun slipped through the cracks of the curtains, '' What did you say—,''

'' Marry me.''

He repeated it, more than confident, more than real, as if this was all he ever wanted to do — to spend the rest of his life with me.

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut, '' You don't mean that—,'' My vocals left in airy stutters, '' There is no way you could possibly—,''

'' You're not thinking clearly, Draco—,''

He stepped back, walking around his bed to open the squeaking drawer in his nightstand, '' I am. I am thinking clearly, June.'' He mumbled as he picked something up, taking long strides back to me, '' I wanted to do this before I left—,''

My jaws dropped, the lingering feeling swirled my mind,

'' I wanted to ask you months ago, but I couldn't leave you with such a question — without knowing if I would make it back to you,''

My heart pounded harder than ever,

'' I refused to do that, even if it was all I wished for—,''

My eyes pricked in tears,

'' But I am here now, and I'm never leaving you, ever again. "

" It's you and me,''

I swallowed, my eyes flicked up to please his, feeling my blood rushing, my body burning, '' Draco—,'' I breathed out, slightly shaking my head,

'' You don't—,''

'' I do. I do mean that. I do mean this. Every single word of it. So June—,''

'' Will you marry me?''

I stared at him, trying to find the slightest flash of hesitation, the mildest sight of dubiety — but there was none. His eyes glinted in honesty, his face soothed softly.

He wanted this.

He wanted me.

I sucked in a harsh breath, eyes snapping to the breathtaking band of silver held in between his fingertips, a clear rock coating it, '' Draco. I can't—,''

His hand searched for mine, stretching it up between us before he slipped the ring on, the corner of his mouth lightly twitched into a shy smile, his pale cheeks blushed in color,

'' I'll take that as a yes then?'' He sought to mock, the burning tears failed me as I looked at it, how my hand felt made for his, how the ring fitted my fingers most perfectly.

A sob fled my throat as I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him straight into me, '' Yes.''

'' Yes.''

'' Yes.''

'' Yes.''

'' I will marry you, Draco Malfoy,''

I felt his arms tugging me onto him, hand grasping at my thighs to wrap my legs around him, '' Yes you will—,'' He hummed, noses brushing against each other, our lips an inch apart, '' You will marry me,'' My hands moved up to his hair, tangling my fingers into the soft blonde strands before our lips collided,

In the total need for each other.

I forgot about him. I deliberately pushed him out of my mind, but not anymore. I was his, and he, he was mine.

His lips eagerly matched mine, tongues battling for territory as he flipped me onto the bed, my spine nailed into the mattress as he pinned my hands over my head, '' Since you agreed to be mine for the rest of our lives—,'' He smirked into my parted lips,

'' Allow me to start it off with this—,''

Draco allowed his teeth to nibble on my bottom lip, with one hand still pinning my arms over my head as he hauled up his wand, muttering, ''Muffliato'' underneath his breath. I felt the aching feeling in between my legs pulsating at his doings, knowing precisely what that spell meant when he was the one to cast it,

He threw his wand across the room, his head dipping down to kiss the tender skin of my neck, '' This crook—,'' He fanned, licking a flat stripe up my throat, '' This fucking crook,''

The tingling feeling shuddered throughout my body caused my back to arch up to his chest, sensing it lightly rising and falling into mine,

'' My perfect crook,''

He licked another stripe up the hazy skin behind my ear, breathing heavily into it, '' Is it, darling? Is all of this—,'' He tore away, letting his hands off me as he kneeled back, biting his lip as he watched me squirm in excitement, '' Is all of this mine?'' His word left in raspy vocals,

'' Draco, please—,'' I quietly begged, feeling my core caving within, every single inch of nerves held on edge, the look in his eyes starved, he needed me, he haven't felt me in this way for months, and now — I laid right in front of him, for him to do whatever he pleases with,

The blonde boy grinned devilishly, his hands moved to wrap around my lower back, pulling me closer, '' I need you to answer me. Is all of this—,'' His eyes fled down my figure, '' Mine?'' - a shaky breath escaped my lips as I nodded,

'' All of this is yours—,'' His jaws clenched at my words, the muscle in them twitched as he pulled my shirt off my head, blue eyes plastered onto my chest, dipping down to gently suck on my buds,

My head arched in pleasure, bucking my hips into his as he pinned me down again, still sucking on my sensitive nipples, '' All mine—,'' He groaned, pushing himself off to draw my underwear down,

'' Only, only mine—,''

He held me right on the firm line to explode — I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to feel him. At this moment, I craved for him to give me more, to force himself inside me, to fill me up with everything he had,

I yanked my arms away from his grip, tucking them in between us to drag his pants and boxers down, " Such a needy little girl, aren't you?" He hummed into my hair, nearly chuckling,

" My needy girl—,"

Draco let his clothes off him, his hand wrapped around his cock as he lightly pumped it up and down,

My chest felt more than heavy against his, sensing the tip of his length stroking up and down my folds, '' Do you want me to—,'' I didn't let him finish that sentence — I merely rocked my hips into his, making his dick thrust inside me, earing a loud growl from him, '' Fuck—,''

The blonde-boy didn't waste any time with me. He propped himself up with his hands on each side of me, coarsely forcing himself in and out, fucking me with the longing he had felt for months — not giving me any chance to adjust to his size, '' Fuck —, I missed you,'' He grunted, his head diving down to kiss me, to moan into my parted lips as he quickened his speed,

The hard pounding nearly sent me over the edge, my nerves wholly twisted in ecstasy as I dug my fingers into his arms, nails scratching to keep focus, to not lose myself in the pleasure of him — but it had been too long, months since I felt him like this, and I needed the relief, '' Are you going to cum for me?'' He mocked, moving to trail wet, soft kisses over my neck, sensing how my body shook underneath his,

The moans fleeing my lips as he sucked on my skin, fucking me mercilessly, turned into muffled screams, making me chew on my bottom lip to not lose my breath, '' I want you on top, darling—,''

'' Get on top of me, now—,''

Draco pushed back, rolling us over as I straddled him, feeling his iced fingers digging into my hips. He started to buck into me while rocking my body over his — dark raspy groans scored loud from the back of his throat as I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the knot inside nearly untangle — every vein in my body heated, my cheeks flushed,

The feeling of this was overwhelming, he shoved his spine off the mattress, wrapping his arms around me as I lowered myself even more — this position filled me up thoroughly, his hard cock reached places that made my eyes roll back, my whimpers stuck in my throat,

'' Draco—, I'm—,'' I heaved, my head falling to his shoulder, my hands tugging at his hair as my back arched by the feeling of my orgasm swallow me whole,

My entire self trembling as he kept going, fucking me throughout my high, '' Such a good girl,'' He bites, his hands glued to my waist as he slowed down, '' I'm—,'' He hewed himself off, holding me close, feeling the warmth of his peak flushing up inside,

'' This—,'' Draco's hands grasped over every inch of skin before cupping my cheeks to look at him, '' All of this is mine, don't you ever forget that—,''

_______

Draco Malfoy,

I loved holding her this way, to have her head on my chest, my arms wrapped around her, our legs entwined. It feels as if nothing of the last six months passed, as if we simply never lived apart.

I asked her to marry me.

The question I had been longing to ask her for every day while being away. The question I wished to ask her before I left in the first place but never dared to. I was afraid that she would turn me down, that she believed to deserve better — but she didn't. She wanted me, she said yes, and now — now she will be mine, for infinity.

For as long as this world allowed us to be,

Looking at her, as she laid so gently, almost on top of me, her soft skin brushing against mine, made my heart race, and the sight of her, fiddling with the ring I had placed on her finger, ached inside. I never wanted it to be different than this.

I wanted this, right here, to last,

Her head arched at my silence, shyly smiling as she noticed that I was already staring at her, '' I thought you said it was rude to stare, Malfoy,'' Her soothing voice mocked me, earing a huff to flee my lips,

'' But as usual — I suppose your rules only applies to everyone but yourself, ''

My eyes rolled at her statement, pulling her even closer, '' You have a way with words, June—,'' I snapped back, raising a brow at her amused looks,

'' Do you like it?'' I tilted my head at the ring coating her finger, making her look at it — her entire body flushed in warmth at my question,

'' I suppose so—,'' She shrugged,

I forced her back, nailing her down in the sheets as I towered over her, quite annoyed by the attempts to taunt me, '' You suppose so?'' I hissed, teeth gritted, lowering myself over her — peels of laugher escaped her throat at my doings,

'' And why is that that you simply—,''

'' Draco?''

My mother's urgent knocks on the door hewed us both off, locking our heads at the desperate shredding in her vocals, '' You two need to come downstairs immediately—,'' She held, sighing loudly,

'' Your father is home,''

______

Her warm fingers braided with my cold ones as she clung herself close, still frightened to meet my father after the last time she saw him — the night we both united with her father, and the night her best friend lost her life,

My father stood tall at the front door, nodding at the both of us as we walked closer, '' Miss. Riddle—,'' He cleared his throat, eyes grew wide the second they placed on or hands, tangled together,

'' Or should I say, soon to be Mrs. Malfoy?''

My mother gasped, her hand flew to muffle the sound by slapping her fingers over the red painted lips, '' Is it—,'' Tears pooled her eyes,

'' You asked her?''

With quick strides closer, she wrapped her arms around us, holding us tight, '' I see that congratulations are in order,''

The curly strands of hair tickled my forehead as I slightly pushed her back — the smile climbing her lips grew broad while looking down at June, stroking a hand over her cheek,

''I knew that she would say yes. I just knew it—,''

'' If you don't mind me interrupting this very... joyful moment—,'' My father spoke from across the room, slamming his cane into the ground, '' I need to talk with miss....''

'' June,''

I felt my veins ice, my breaths hitched in disgust by him speaking her name, but he didn't do this to hurt us — I could tell that this was one of the more serious matters. He wouldn't have come back if it wasn't.

June sought to slip out of the hold I had of her, to pull away from the touch I needed the most, politely nodding at my father — but that gesture only made my hand clench tighter around hers,

'' If this is about her, you can speak with all of us—,'' My mother broke the silence, placing a comforting arm on June's shoulder, '' There is no need of hiding anything from anyone, Lucius.''

He shook his head at my mother disobedience, his face stretched in stone, cursing underneath his breath, '' As you all wish,'' The vocals tore in spite — she held onto me, tensing her fingers in the grip of mine,

'' It's alright—, no one can hurt you when I'm here,'' I mumbled into her head, trying to calm her down before looking back at my father, '' Go on—,''

He took a stride forward, swallowing the guilt I watched flashing through his numb eyes, '' The dark lord has come to mind about your secret, June,''

The instant I caught onto his words, my eyes squeezed shut, my heart ached at the remembering of what I promised her best friend,

I promised Luna, never to tell June about this, never to let anyone know about what she was, what she accidentally became when she was born,

'' My what?'' June spoke in stutters, her face fell into grimace, brows furrowed before her eyes locked in mine, revealing the shame I felt for keeping her in the dark,

'' No—,'' She whispered, forcing herself away from me, '' Tell me, Draco,''

''Tell me what you've been lying about this time—,''

Her words shook my bravery, the cold act I always maintained washed away as I stared at her, seeing how much I knew I was about to hurt her, to take away all the happiness we just lived in,

But she promised to be mine, no matter what and I intend to hold her to that promise, even if all the secrets that is kept deep down, unravels,

My lips parted in speaking, but the look of her crushed my heart, '' I—,''

'' You are a Horcrux, June—,'' My father voice made her flinch, spinning around to face him , '' And the dark lord is on his way here, to collect you,''

My eyes ripped off hers, eyeing the blonde-haired man down as my mother started pacing back and forth impatiently, '' Lucius—,'' She rose, marching up to him, '' In the kitchen please,'' My parents stormed off, yells and curses echoed loudly throughout the halls as they went,

She stood frozen before me, her jaws dropped, her eyes flickered in question, '' You knew about this?'' She finally spoke up, her fingertips twitched around the ring I gifted her with, '' You knew about this, and you didn't—,''

'' I promised her—,'' I blurted out, making her quiet down, arms dropped to her sides as she shook her head, the stray strands of hair fall gently over her shoulders,

'' No—, No—, She knew about this?'' Her eyes prickled in tears, her shoulders sunk, '' She wouldn't do that. She—, She wouldn't keep that from me—,'' Her voice broke,

'' Would she? I—,''

'' What does that even mean, Draco? A Horcrux?'' I strived stern steps towards her, slamming my body into hers, holding her close — no matter if she wanted me to or not because I knew, right now, she needed it.

'' A Horcrux is—,''

'' I know what it is, Draco."

" What I don't understand is what this means. Is he going to lock me up now? Take me away from everyone and everything?'' - a silent sob left her lips, burying her head in my chest,

'' Draco—,'' My mother urged, '' Can you follow me for a short moment,'' I felt June's body tensing for a slight second before she let go of me, wiping her tears with the end of her sleeve,

My hands moved to her cheeks, cupping them, '' Go up to Blaise, and stay with him — I'll be there in a minute,'' My lips collided with their forehead, slightly breathing her in before I hauled back,

'' I'll be right there—,''

I walked around her, halting at the end of the room, making sure that she did as I asked, and she did. She walked her way up the stairs, finding her way to my best friend's room,

I stormed into the kitchen, my eyes snapped directly at my fathers, feeling my temper on the edge of bursting, '' Well?'' I hissed, shoving my hands into my pockets,

'' What is all of this about? Why did you make me—,''

'' You need to run, Draco.''

My heart stopped, my face fell as the disbelief pushed through my veins, '' What do you mean?'' I stuttered, shaking my head at my folks,

'' What do you mean by run?''

My mother gently peered over her shoulder, receiving a sharp nod from my father, '' The dark lord is taking her away, son. The intentions he has with her, is to lock her inside the Ravenclaw castle, under the security of many death eaters—, ''

The air in my lungs failed me, making my head dizzy, '' The two of you need to leave, now—,''

'' You need to leave, and you can't come back,''


	42. F o r t y ,

June,

I stared almost helplessly at my best friend, my mind more than puzzled in question; nothing made sense anymore," Why would she keep this from me, Blaise?" I asked him, his hand snaked its way to rest on my thigh, my head soft on his shoulder," I don't believe him, she would never—,"

"I think she did," He held, his shoulders shrugging," I think Luna would've done anything possible to keep you as safe as she could. I don't think this had anything to do with you in the way you're making it,"

The spoken words shook right through me, my heart ached by the thought of her, that she had been gone for almost nine months, that the feeling of her cold, numb body still haunted me at night,

But the dreams of us, my angel Luna and me, made up for every single tear because she's with me, in every breath, every heartbeat, in everything I did,

It's more than a hard thing, learning to live without the person who taught you how to live in the first place,

And now,

Now I have to remember her for longer than I have known her.

Blaise's fingers squeezed into my skin, his head slightly nodding at mine," Still there?" He sought to mock," You left me hanging, again—,"

My eyes rolled at the boy as I rose my head, lightly shaking it in efforts to stop torturing myself with the memory of her,

" I'm here—," I forced a smile, seeking to find some bravery in the unknown truth that my father is coming, he's on his way here to collect me, to shove me away in my room and never let me see the strokes of daylight ever again,

The clearing of his throat, the burning blue eyes piercing through Blaise's hand on my thigh, hewed both of us off," What the fuck did I tell you, Zabini. I don't want you to touch what—,"

"What's yours? No, I see," Blaise mocked in a cheeky smile, wrapping his hands around me, pulling me even closer," I'll see you when it's safe, alright?"

" Just don't forget about me,"

I peered over my shoulder, looking up at the boy who I stumbled into nearly two years ago, the boy who stopped Draco from hurting me in the dining hall that night — He really did grew to become so much more than an evil friend to the cruel blonde-boy,

He became my best friend,

The one person I could still rely on when everyone, including myself, failed me,

I buried my head in his shoulder, hugging him with all I had," Thank you, Blaise," I whispered into his neck," Thank you for taking care of me when no one else did. Thank you for being here, for always having my back," His arms clenched around me,

"I love you more than you'll ever know, Blaise,"

The boy bent back, gawking at me while his fingertips brushed over my cheek," I will miss you very much, so make sure to come back to me when all of this is over, alright?" He tucked a lock behind my ear before leaning in once more, pushing his lips against my head,

" I love you,"

Draco cleared his throat once more," We need to—," He rose, but quickly hushed down as I matched his eyes, fright flashed through in them, if so only a second," We need to go,"

I waited for Draco in the doorway, watching as he hugged his best friend goodbye," If something happens to her, Malfoy... I swear—,"

"It won't. I promise,"

I felt my heart shattering by the thought of going to a safe house, across the world, where his family believed us to be safe, to leave everyone behind us — even if the world was on the bare edge, my father and his ruling was on the awakening, his deeds to take over was more set, and it was only a matter of time before we all were in great danger,

"Shall we?" Draco urged, his hand touching mine — but I couldn't. I needed to say my goodbyes to his mother,

She was the reason we both got this far. She helped me keep Draco alive by bounding his life to mine, she held my mother well and hidden, she took me in when her son left me in pieces,

Narcissa was my savior, and I needed to thank her if there was the slightest possibility that I'd never are to see her again,

I shook my head at the boy before me," I just, give me a minute—," I mumbled, before hurrying out in the hallway; with quick steps down the stairs, I rushed my way into the kitchen, watching her face fall the second her eyes placed in mine,

"June—," She held, her cheeks glinted in tears as I threw myself in her arms, holding her tightly — breathing in that motherly, calming scent she always brought," I'm so sorry you have to go through with this, love," Narcissa whispered into my hair, her fingers brushing through it,

"But if I may ask —,"

" Will you please take care of my son, now that I can't?" I felt my eyes prickle in salty liquid, lower lip shivering,

"Always, Narcissa." I managed to breathe out, striving not to burst out in tears as she let go of me, stepping back,

" Well, then you better get going. Your father is—,"

The bright sky outside swiftly shifted darkly as if all the happiness in this world had gone to rest. The look of cloak clothed men, masks covering their face's iced my veins; both Narcissa and I stood petrified before she shoved me away,

"Draco—," She shouted loudly, "Draco, you need to leave, right now,"

The blonde boy ran down the stairs, his hair tangled on his head as he bored blue eyes through mine," What happ—,"

The sound of harsh footsteps over the gravel-covered ground caught his attention, " Take my hand, darling — now,"

I shot Narcissa one last look, mouthing the words I knew she held so dearly," I love you," - and in the blink of an eye, the surroundings changed. His mother was gone, and so was the house he grew up in. We stood safe within the walls of my room at Hogwarts,

We made it just in time before the death eaters had the possibility to storm their home, but even then — even if we stood, without a scratch in my room, the boy I loved was shaking, his entire self trembled as I felt his hand yanking mine away,

Draco severely paced back and forth in front of me, his hands hauling at his hair in defeat, breaths ragged," Draco—," I tried to get to him, to break his trance of fright," Draco, please—,"

"What?" He snapped, blue eyes narrowed in mine," What is it?"

_______

Draco Malfoy,

She flinched, and only that little twitch in the corner of her eyes, the slight shoe she took back, was more than enough for my heart to break,

She was afraid of me, scared of what I could've done in the wrong state of mind,

And that crushed me,

I shook my head, looking at the girl I was about to leave my entire life for, everything I had worked for my whole life — I was about to leave, to give up, for her.

And I would do it all again, without thinking twice about it, because it was her.

It has always been her.

She was the summer, to my winter heart,

She was the poison I spent my life craving to drink,

I wrapped my arms around her in the way I knew she loved, with one hand tightly sheeting her waist and the other one stroking her hair, lightly pushing her head into my shoulder.

She melted at that, she always has, since the day I held her when her mother was missing,

Her every nerve found a second of peace in that hold as if she knew she was safe here, and she was. With me, in my arms, she would always be safe, more than it,

"You don't need to do this, Draco—," She whispered into the fabric of my jacket, holding me more than tight," I know why you're upset, and I want you to know — that you don't need to do this with me,"

"I can leave by myself," Her voice tearing in hurt as she sought to push me back, to distance herself from me," You shouldn't have to leave your whole life only because I—,"

"Shut up,"

Her eyes snapped to mine, brows furrowed," What did you just—,"

"I said, shut up,"

The dimples in her cheeks faded, her decided face fell into confusion," Why—,"

"For a Ravenclaw, darling—," I smirked, pulling her back into my chest," For a Ravenclaw, you're more than stupid at times," The chuckle leaving my lips provoked one to escape hers, and another, and another until that last peel of quiet laughter shifted into a trail of sobs,

She held onto me, completely burying her head into my chest as she cried, her body trembled into mine, in such regret of what she believed she had caused," I'm sorry, Draco—," She sobbed," I'm sorry that you always have to give up everything for me,"

The words spoken made me nauseous, nearly sick that she would ever think of herself that way, that she saw me as someone who blamed her," Don't say that—,"

"But it's true, Draco—,"

"You're about to leave your mother, your best friend, everything you have ever wanted, and I—," She shook her head, her fingers grasping at my shirt," And I'm always the one to blame. You even had to leave me because of me,"

"It's not fair, Draco—, you shouldn't have to go through all of this because of me,"

"Collapse into me." I spoke, quietly into her head, "Collapse into me, just once, and I promise that you'll never have to fall again,"

Her breaths hitched, her body froze in the solid grip of mine," I have said it many times before, and I will say it again, till the day you believe me—,"

" You have a place, Riddle, a place in my heart only you can have, and no matter what will happen, you'll always have me,"

My words lived to be more than true,

She would always have me,

Be with me,

No matter what,

Because it was her and I,

Forever.

______

June,

Our steps echoed heavily out on the courtyard, ready to leave this place — prepared to walk away from everything we believed our future to be," Wait," Draco mumbled, halting in his steps, yanking me back to him,

I stumbled into his chest, feeling the strokes of sunset settling over the castle as the dusk crawled closer," I love you, June—,"

My eyes grew wide at his confession. The honest words scored right through me as bolts of warmth flushed my skin," I love you, and I want—,"

"June—," The voice came threatening from behind, the steps closer severe," Oh how I've been looking for the two of you these last couple of days," She stepped down the stairs, her heels clinking over the stone,

Draco allowed his arms off me, turning around as he rose his wand at the girl standing in front of him," What are you playing at, Granger?" He spat, teeth gritted in remembrance of what she tried to do the last time we came across her,

He pulled his arm out, pushing me back, for me to be entirely covered by him," We're not here to stay, Granger— so whatever you came here to do—,"

"I came here, for you, Draco—," Hermione spoke softly, her wand pointed at the both of us, fingers shakingly grasping at it," That's the thing. That ever since that night in her room when you kicked me out. It got me thinking, now that I have a lot of time alone to think,"

"I was broken for months, June—," Hermione laughed, nearly maniacally as she shook her head, the firm curls spilled over her shoulders," Because you took something from me. You took her from me,"

I shook my head, trying to push my way past Draco, in attempts to confront the girl who spoke such lies, but to no use — The blonde boy held onto me the second strode I took past him, making me meet the eyes I always sought to fell lost in,

"Don't —," He threatened, once again yanking me into him," We need to leave. She's not worth—,"

"That's the problem, isn't it, Draco?" Hermione mocked again in a cheeky smile, eyeing the both of us down," Why are the two of you allowed to live your pathetic excuses of lives when I'm stuck here, alone, without her—,"

" You took the love of my life—,"

" And you don't deserve the happy ending I know you'll get," I could hear her swallow harshly, even from feet away, sucking in a deep breath before she tilted her wand to the exact point it leveled Draco,

"You took my love away, June—," She held, shutting her eyes closed," Now it's my turn to take yours—,"

Without doubt, without a second thought, without even the slightest of chance for the two of us to react,

"Avada Kedavra,"

I couldn't breathe.

The green light tore forcefully through his body. The seconds passed in hours, everything shredded in slow-motion as I stumbled back, with him in my arms,

His head rested on my lap, his eyes blinked slowly as he stared deeply into mine,

His eyes,

Those blue, beautiful eyes I fell in love with, I fell lost in — there was forever in those eyes,

"Draco—," I whimpered, not in the real mind of what's passing, " No, no, no, Draco—,"

"I'll be waiting for you—," He whispered, his lips slightly parted," Because you have a place, Riddle, that no one else could—,"

"No, Draco, don't you dare—,"

I tried to shake his shoulders, to bring him back to me,

" Don't you dare leave me, Draco,"

The light in his eyes, that glint of light that always illuminated in emotion, went out,

"No, no, no—,"

The breaths, the minty breaths that always tasted so sweet on my lips, stopped heaving,

"Please, Draco—,"

The one person, the one single person I loved more than everything, he died, in my arms,

"No, no, Draco, please—,"

My sobs echoed loud in the hours of evening, tears drowned every inch of my skin,

"You promised me, Draco—,"

My palms struck his chest, my hands cupped his cheeks, stroking my thumbs over the pale, drained skin, but nothing,

He was gone,

"You promised you wouldn't —,"

"You promised never to leave me,"

I lost my breath, my words in stutters,

My heart broke as it shattered into an infinity of pieces, over and over.

The torture of his cold, lifeless body resting in mine tore me in two, and all the pain and hurt I had ever felt in my life — would never compare to this,

Because he was gone,

The boy I loved so raw and so deeply died.

I buried my head into his chest, the chest I always found home in," Please, please come back to me,"

My body shook violently, tears rushed, " I can't do this without you—,"

My fingers tangled into the blonde strands of hair in the way I knew he loved," Please, Draco, please don't leave me,"

My nose brushing against his, in the way he always brushed his against mine," This can't be the end of our story, please—,"

I couldn't think, my mind clouded as I took his hand, the cold hand that always grew warm in mine, placing gentle kisses on his knuckles,

" I love you, Draco—,"

My chest felt heavier than ever as it came to mind, what he said to me," I'll be waiting for you,"

The drowning feeling within, my chest heaving slower, was all because of the vow,

The unbreakable magic that bounded our lives together,

If he died — I would too,

He knew. He remembered that I was destined the same fate he was,

Even if I had just came to the realization of my own death, the relief washed over me, my mind finally reached a point of peace,

Because out of all the promises we made and broke, this was the one he kept,

That it was us, always.

My head fell onto his chest, burying my nose in that little space right between his neck and shoulder, breathing him in, one last time, before I whispered the words I knew he always loved to hear,

"I'm yours, yours, yours and only yo—,"

The air in my lungs tightened as I fluttered my eyes closed, shyly smiling to myself,

Because soulmates aren't just lovers, as mother always used to say,

But he, he was.

The boy I hated. The boy who hated me. The boy who said that he could never be mine was now the boy I would die for, and even then — I wouldn't have it any other way,

I would sacrifice anything to be with him again, and now, I would,

On the stair to my own death — I knew that this world was not ready for us, for the love we held for each other.

And I knew as the light of the afterlife embraced me, as it brought me to the blonde boy who waited for me, who lived to be the greatest love of my life, that we would always be together,

In life,

In death,

In heaven,

In hell,

In a world different from this one, because we, Draco and I, are meant for each other,

Wherever that may be. Wherever the next adventure takes us,

It will always be the two of us,

My blonde boy,

My Draco,

And me,

Exactly how it's supposed to be,

Forever.

" It seemed so perfect but ended so soon."

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi loves.
> 
> I wanted to come here and say a few words,
> 
> The ending of this story truly broke my heart because I felt so much for all of them, especially Luna, June, and Draco.
> 
> The love shared between Draco and June was everything and beyond, but in the world they lived in, they would never be able to find the peace they both deserved. Their love was too much, and they were destined for greater things, and now they have found peace, together, just like it's supposed to be, and I hope that it can bring all of you some comfort, knowing that wherever they ended up, they are together with Luna, forever.
> 
> This book was the first one I've ever written, and when I started it over two months ago, I never believed it would turn out the way it did. It turned out to be so much more than I intended for it to be, and I really want to thank every single one of you for being on this journey with me, for reading, and for loving this book as much as I do.
> 
> You guys mean the world to me,
> 
> So honestly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
> 
> But my time as a writer is not entirely done yet, and I have two other Draco fanfics that I would love for you to read,
> 
> This has been so much fun, and I hope to see all of you in my comments again.
> 
> Again, thank you for everything.
> 
> I love all of you so much.
> 
> Much love, Juneekarl.


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